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(Buzzfeed)   Lobbyist drafts legislation to prohibit gay players from being in the NFL, claims he has the support of dozens of totally not imaginary legislators   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 29
    More: Unlikely, Michael Sams, WJLA, pre-empts, Jack Burkman, NFL, decency  
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29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-25 09:59:47 AM  
So now Republicans are FOR regulation of businesses?

Party, God, Business, Country

Is that the order of importance?
 
2014-02-25 10:00:49 AM  
i honestly don't even think he will get a single republican legislator to publicly support this bill

of course my capacity for amazement is continually tested by them so who knows
 
2014-02-25 10:02:34 AM  
 
2014-02-25 10:03:40 AM  

Jackson Herring: i honestly don't even think he will get a single republican legislator to publicly support this bill

of course my capacity for amazement is continually tested by them so who knows


There are primaries going on. All it will take is one teabagger asking why the incumbant wants people's sons to shower with gay men and we're off.
 
2014-02-25 10:04:04 AM  
The Washington lobbyist who announced Monday that he wants to put forward legislation banning gay people from playing in the National Football League told a reporter that the proposal is just about "common decency and civility."

Something tells me that these words don't mean what you think they mean.
 
2014-02-25 10:04:15 AM  
here's that laser-like repeat from yesterday. Also, are were this isn't satire of some sort, because it seems like it.
 
2014-02-25 10:06:13 AM  

DemonEater: Repeat from yesterday


Seems more like a follow-up.
 
2014-02-25 10:06:26 AM  
Crazy person yelling at clouds is now news?
 
2014-02-25 10:06:34 AM  

Biff_Steel: here's that laser-like repeat from yesterday. Also, are were this isn't satire of some sort, because it seems like it.


I honestly can't tell anymore.

It's like some absurd performance art.
 
2014-02-25 10:06:40 AM  
Because it's totally not gay to watch a bunch of men wearing skin tight clothing wrestling each other to the ground and playing with balls...
 
2014-02-25 10:07:02 AM  

Biff_Steel: here's that laser-like repeat from yesterday. Also, are were this isn't satire of some sort, because it seems like it.


Buzzfeed doesn't do satire, it does lists. So here's a list of the two kinds of balls that will get played with in the NFL next year...
 
2014-02-25 10:08:17 AM  
Oh wow what a turniptruckian headline, like there's not a bunch of crazy religious kook legislators who would support this crap.
 
2014-02-25 10:08:51 AM  

kidgenius: So now Republicans are FOR regulation of businesses?

Party, God, Business, Country

Is that the order of importance?


You forgot firearms.

There is a pawn shop in the area that says it's Faith, Firearms, Family. I'm sure he puts his business before family though
 
2014-02-25 10:09:32 AM  
Please don't post Buzzfeed links as legitimate news articles.
 
2014-02-25 10:10:16 AM  
FTA: "it would give the NFL a choice: It would allow them to create separate facilities, completely separate facilities."

Hmm, sounds like he's kinda hoping to see a Gay Football League.
 
2014-02-25 10:10:24 AM  
"If someone has come out as a homosexual, what this legislation would do is one of two things: It would ban them from the National Football League. Two, it would give the NFL a choice: It would allow them to create separate facilities, completely separate facilities."

So if you can't outright prohibit them from participating, you're going to offer up a "separate, but equal" option? Bold strategy, Cotton.

We expect to have a lot of support. I'll give you the projection. Within like three weeks, within 20 days, our projections indicate we'll have 36 members in the House, six in the Senate. ... You can't be too far right in many districts in this Republican Party."

That's for damn sure.
 
2014-02-25 10:11:42 AM  
Wait, the same party that scream to high heaven about small government, deregulation and the return to the free market will work with a lobbyist to do the exact opposite.
 
2014-02-25 10:12:48 AM  
So let's name them.  If it's got support, they should be willing to subject themselves to the public ridicule that they deserve.  um...I mean they should have no problem standing up for their principles...
 
2014-02-25 10:15:41 AM  
The three F's,sure. They are farm, future and Fark, that's what they are.
 
2014-02-25 10:15:56 AM  
 
2014-02-25 10:25:57 AM  
Has this been confirmed yet as either satire or real because I cannot tell the difference anymore
 
2014-02-25 10:27:47 AM  

Warlordtrooper: Has this been confirmed yet as either satire or real because I cannot tell the difference anymore



Who knows.  Everyone's biting off the Onion these days and it's not even funny.  No witty headline with text body and pics as the bonus.  Just fake news they call "satire".  It's not humor, it's click-bait intended to be FWDed via oldmail or shared on Facebook.
 
2014-02-25 10:28:39 AM  

Headso: Oh wow what a turniptruckian headline, like there's not a bunch of crazy religious kook legislators who would support this crap.


I dunno...dust this one off and you might get some traction with it again.
All those shameless animals running around utterly naked, showing all their naughty bits as if it didn't matter a fart in a wind tunnel?
No wonder our society is going to hell in a handbasket!
/ Think I musta clutched me pearls too hard...string broke and they're all over the floor now.
 
2014-02-25 10:34:49 AM  

Warlordtrooper: Has this been confirmed yet as either satire or real because I cannot tell the difference anymore


Jack Burkman is a very real lobbyist, douchebag and overall sleaze. His number was in the "DC Madam's" book along with David Vitter, so he likes his working gals.  It's real.
 
2014-02-25 10:40:48 AM  
I'm setting the line on when he is caught giving mouth hugs at a truck stop at 3 weeks into the season.
 
2014-02-25 10:41:56 AM  
The video is awesome: the reporter actually asks a lot of really direct questions.  Now, this guy sticks to his derp-guns, but it's pretty entertaining.

And wow, this guy has such an overwhelmingly whining and pouty tone to his voice.  He also has a punchable face.  Also, talking about the showers: "people in intimate settings, nude with each other."  That's some special repression right there.  I don't know about the rest of you, but when I'm in a locker room, my focus is on getting showered and dressed without acquiring some weird foot fungus.
 
2014-02-25 10:47:46 AM  
The NFL has already shown that it's both willing and able to hit back against politics and policies it disagrees with, by pulling the Super Bowl from Arizona; what might they do if, despite the odds, this becomes law?

I honestly can't think of a better way to get all the people involved strung up by their heels than by farking with the NFL, and the NFL and the NFLPA coming out (lulz) and saying "We don't give a shiat whether or not a player is gay. Why should we?" would go a long, long ways towards changing attitudes towards homosexuals in this country.
 
2014-02-25 10:58:26 AM  
Also, he makes the claim that gay people are inherently attracted to straight people, as women are to men, and that's why gays can't be in the locker room (because we have separate men's and women's facilities because of all the sexual attraction, and furthermore).  Which is astoundingly stupid for 2 reasons:
1) Just because you're attracted to someone doesn't mean you're going to fark them, or even try to fark them.  I check out pretty girls all the time; I have the usual kinds of fantasies about attractive actresses all the time; but I am also not cheating on my wife all the time.  Somehow, I'm able to feel attraction, and engage in some mental fantasy, without actually doing anything about it.  It's this weird trick where I can have all these thoughts in my head, and then I can filter out which ones I should actually act on.  What does this say about this guy's self-control?  How many women (or, if we're being honest, men) has he tried to fark just because he felt attracted to them?
2) I know all you straight people like to think that all us gays are just lusting for your forbidden hetero fruit, and I hate to bruise your egos, but most of us just aren't that interested in you.  Sure, there's some gays who pine over some straight friend, but straight people love to mope over their own "one who got away" just as much.  In fact, there are large segments of straight media focused on this very thing--"the one who got away" is a huge trope/cliche.  But really, most of us gays are interested in other gay people, because, you know, they'd be into it.  Now maybe I have more self-control than most, but when I know that a woman is straight, I disregard her as a romantic interest.  I may still check her out, but she's firmly on the "friend list."  But again, I'm guessing that this guy is a deep closet case, and his repression has actually driven him to feel latently attracted to almost every man he sees (or maybe he has a particular friend that he really really wants), and so he assumes that everyone is like this.

This is an obviously stupid stunt, and will never go anywhere, but in the meantime, it is giving us a fascinating look into one man's damaged psyche.  And as much as I'm entertained, and cannot look away, I also feel pretty bad for this guy.  He's got to be pretty mixed up and hurting inside, to feel so strongly about this, and to feel like he has to go out and publicly discuss it like this.  He feels terrible about who he really is, and he doesn't know how to stop it, and it galls him to see people like him who are okay with themselves.  The more I think about it, the more I pity him.
 
2014-02-25 11:13:38 AM  

Warlordtrooper: Has this been confirmed yet as either satire or real because I cannot tell the difference anymore


According to his brother (who's gay and not at all impressed with these shenanigans), it's a combination of Burkman's real opinion and his trolling for business for his lobbying firm.
 
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