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(BroBible)   Bathtub sex - "a good idea on paper but an absolute disaster in practice"   (brobible.com) divider line 75
    More: Fail, disaster in practice, Bathtub sex, Iraq invasion, bathtubs, sexes  
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5660 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Feb 2014 at 1:37 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-25 12:01:32 PM  
bestepisodeever.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-25 12:34:10 PM  
The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

www.prostate.net
 
2014-02-25 12:47:50 PM  

Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.


How is that conducive to sex acts?
 
2014-02-25 12:53:31 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

How is that conducive to sex acts?


Drugs are involved
 
2014-02-25 01:06:27 PM  
timothyjones.typepad.com

Agrees
 
2014-02-25 01:41:08 PM  
Shower sex is more fun. Bathtub sex is good if ya got a nice big tub though.
 
2014-02-25 01:42:24 PM  
It works better with a wide tub, like you find in some "honeymoon suite" hotel rooms.
 
2014-02-25 01:44:03 PM  
media.tumblr.com

Sex in water?  That doesn't work!
 
2014-02-25 01:44:25 PM  

groppet: Shower sex is more fun. Bathtub sex is good if ya got a nice big tub though.


Then it's a hot tub.
 
2014-02-25 01:46:17 PM  
Anal?
 
2014-02-25 01:49:25 PM  
That article was almost as fappable as a Penthouse letter.

"You'll never believe what happened to me..."
 
2014-02-25 01:51:25 PM  
It is better when you make Jello in the bathtub first.....

/There's always room for Jello...
 
2014-02-25 01:54:04 PM  
Oh so many sex ideas that sound great in theory turn out to not be so wonderful during actual implementation. Sex in a Zorb? Wow, that'd be EXTREME TO THE MAX... especially when someone's teeth accidentally get knocked out. That pile driver position you saw once in a porn starring people with 5% body fat? Yeah, try that and someone is going to spend the evening in the ER.
 
2014-02-25 01:54:50 PM  
Sex in water is never as good as it sounds.
 
2014-02-25 01:59:22 PM  
I respectfully disagree. I've done it in an indoor jacuzzi, a hot tub, a claw-foot tub, and modern tubs. Modern tubs are definitely more difficult because they're so goddamned  small,but it's do-able if you're not a whale.

Where there's a will, there's a way.
 
2014-02-25 01:59:24 PM  

BalugaJoe: Anal?


yup.
 
2014-02-25 02:01:45 PM  

CygnusDarius: groppet: Shower sex is more fun. Bathtub sex is good if ya got a nice big tub though.

Then it's a hot tub.


No. It's just an older tub. Before the modern age dictated that we make bathrooms really tiny and cramped, people had big old claw-foot bathtubs that could handily contain two adults and some sudsy water. They weren't round and had no jets or heater. They were just larger bathtubs than you normally see today.

Today, most places get those dinky little tubs that can barely contain a grown man. Dammit, I like a bath now and then, and I wish this tiny bathtub trend would end!
 
2014-02-25 02:02:58 PM  
Get your thrusting in sync with the wave action in a hot tub and you're gold.
 
2014-02-25 02:15:56 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

How is that conducive to sex acts?


Guess who doesn't know how to use the three shells?
 
2014-02-25 02:18:48 PM  

Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

[www.prostate.net image 380x227]


Exactly. One of Chuck Lorre's vanity cards:

www.chucklorre.com
 
2014-02-25 02:18:54 PM  

mcmnky: Anne.Uumellmahaye: Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

How is that conducive to sex acts?

Guess who doesn't know how to use the three shells?


You owe me a new keyboard and my co-worker a new pair of underwear
 
2014-02-25 02:21:01 PM  
What is Bro Bible doing on the Geek tab? The Bro is the sworn enemy of the Geek
 
2014-02-25 02:21:37 PM  

CygnusDarius: groppet: Shower sex is more fun. Bathtub sex is good if ya got a nice big tub though.

Then it's a hot tub.


Bathtubs come in different sizes, most are too small for me to make it work well.  As stated above, it's usually easier in the shower.
 
2014-02-25 02:21:41 PM  
Sex in water always sound like a good idea.


Ends in disappointment.


/But all sex with me ends in disappointment.
 
2014-02-25 02:23:59 PM  
Porn should come with a disclaimer. "What you are about to watch is being performed by professionals. Do not try this at home."

Would love to see the hospital conversation when Mr and Mrs Joe Six-Pack think this is a good idea to try. http://i.imgur.com/6VgCjgY.gif (obviously NSFW)
 
2014-02-25 02:25:40 PM  
...when it's over you'll just be left with mess, bruises, and mental anguish...

Is there another kind of sex?
 
2014-02-25 02:28:51 PM  
I love sex in water.  Lakes, ocean, swimming pools, hot tubs, baths, showers...and waterbeds.  They are all awesome.
 
2014-02-25 02:29:10 PM  
If your in one of those heart shaped Jacuzzis you see in honeymoon sweets it works pretty well. Why do you think they put then in there?
 
2014-02-25 02:30:03 PM  
In the Ocean or On the Beach are wondering why they're being ignored.
 
2014-02-25 02:31:43 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: mcmnky: Anne.Uumellmahaye: Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

How is that conducive to sex acts?

Guess who doesn't know how to use the three shells?

You owe me a new keyboard and my co-worker a new pair of underwear


Was that co-worker a female?
 
2014-02-25 02:43:09 PM  
Just out of curiosity, is there anyone here who has had sex (with a partner) who hasn't at some point tried it in the tub? Because even I've tried that.

Then again, that one time I did it in the front yard at a party across the street from a bible college while unwittingly being watched by some dude she had "friend zoned" years before. I'm pretty sure when he finally snaps, I'll be the first to know. I'm not sure if that qualifies as experienced in your book, but I'm sure Jimmy Hendrix would give me a nod.
 
2014-02-25 02:51:42 PM  

Latinwolf: Smeggy Smurf: mcmnky: Anne.Uumellmahaye: Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

How is that conducive to sex acts?

Guess who doesn't know how to use the three shells?

You owe me a new keyboard and my co-worker a new pair of underwear

Was that co-worker a female?


Nope.  A fat, hairy guy
 
2014-02-25 02:53:13 PM  

BalugaJoe: Anal?


i.imgur.com

Never again!


Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ...when it's over you'll just be left with mess, bruises, and mental anguish...

Is there another kind of sex?


HEY! Some people pay good money for that.
 
2014-02-25 03:16:37 PM  
Subby sounds fat.
 
2014-02-25 03:17:21 PM  
blog.zap2it.com
 
2014-02-25 03:19:18 PM  

stuhayes2010: Sex in water always sound like a good idea.


Ends in disappointment.


/But all sex with me ends in disappointment.


Disappointment for you or for her?
 
2014-02-25 03:23:20 PM  
Water doesn't work well as a lube. But if you have actual lube on hand...
 
2014-02-25 03:25:01 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-25 03:30:52 PM  
Silicone lube, not water based. Just don't get it on the floor of the shower.
 
2014-02-25 03:38:29 PM  
Somewhere in Houston, is a hotel room with a broken tub. All I'm saying.
 
2014-02-25 03:46:57 PM  
i dont know about that.. i have this memory of this one time, with this one girl... things worked out pretty well in that tub.
 
2014-02-25 03:53:08 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: mcmnky: Anne.Uumellmahaye: Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

How is that conducive to sex acts?

Guess who doesn't know how to use the three shells?

You owe me a new keyboard and my co-worker a new pair of underwear


So at least I had one accomplishment today. ;)
 
2014-02-25 03:56:53 PM  
The self-loathing it would take to write that up for anyone, particularly a website called "Bro-Bible," is certainly beyond my comprehension.
 
2014-02-25 04:08:56 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: Sybarite: The trick is to use two bathtubs and a romantic setting.

How is that conducive to sex acts?


You do yourself in your own tub, as it's damn near the only comfortable way to do it.

I'll have penetrative sex in my shower once I win a Lotto or something and can custom make the shower area to have footholds and handholds and etc. Like a combination rock-wall/waterslide. :) Even if you're the right comparative height with your partner it's still too much "yoga". Until then it's handjobs and waterproof toys.
 
2014-02-25 04:25:20 PM  
When I was in Japan with the (now ex)wife, and her family went out somewhere, we decided to get some tub sex in. Of course this was one of those awesome Japanese tubs that are wider and deeper. (Why do we have those stupid tubs in America that you have to fold up your legs and and can't submerse all the way??). Of course once you get rocking, water starts sloshing everywhere, but it wasn't a problem, as in Japan the floors are tile and have drains since you normaly shower and clean yourself and *then* get in the tub to relax. Of course her family was a little put out that we drained the tub (whole family uses the same water since they clean themselves before hand. They keep it hot with a built in gas heater until everyone has a go), which we had to do since there was stuff floating in it when we got done. We didn't want to have to explain that, so she just said "Oh, we thought everyone was done."
 
2014-02-25 04:35:21 PM  

MythDragon: When I was in Japan with the (now ex)wife, and her family went out somewhere, we decided to get some tub sex in. Of course this was one of those awesome Japanese tubs that are wider and deeper. (Why do we have those stupid tubs in America that you have to fold up your legs and and can't submerse all the way??). Of course once you get rocking, water starts sloshing everywhere, but it wasn't a problem, as in Japan the floors are tile and have drains since you normaly shower and clean yourself and *then* get in the tub to relax. Of course her family was a little put out that we drained the tub (whole family uses the same water since they clean themselves before hand. They keep it hot with a built in gas heater until everyone has a go), which we had to do since there was stuff floating in it when we got done. We didn't want to have to explain that, so she just said "Oh, we thought everyone was done."


And, now the water contains my vomit, too.
 
2014-02-25 04:43:13 PM  
Yeah, it's probably a good idea to plunge grimy bathtub water or hot tub chemicals into your partner's vag.
amiright, ladies?
 
2014-02-25 04:50:56 PM  

tblax: What is Bro Bible doing on the Geek tab? The Bro is the sworn enemy of the Geek


What about brogrammers?
 
2014-02-25 04:51:24 PM  
Much like sleeping a waterbed when you're drunk...

To this day, I STILL can't understand how people can't figure out a farking waterbed. They weren't that hard to adjust to. Hell, even sex on a waterbed isn't a mystery. As a matter of fact, if you time everything right, that wave can come in handy. If the waterbed is making you seasick, you probably aren't smart enough to fill it correctly.
 
2014-02-25 04:55:08 PM  

Pinner: Yeah, it's probably a good idea to plunge grimy bathtub water or hot tub chemicals into your partner's vag.



She's probably had worse plunged up there.
 
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