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(Fox News)   "There really is a God. I was shot at and my Bible absorbed the bullets"   (foxnews.com) divider line 21
    More: Scary, Bibles, god, Dayton Daily News, Ohio  
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3781 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2014 at 6:04 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-25 06:35:29 AM
4 votes:
So, now he holds a book containing a story with a bunch of holes in it.  A holey book.
2014-02-25 07:13:22 AM
3 votes:

calbert: bunner: Just waned to say that the cops and FBI know about all these gangs, where they live, who they are and I have no problem with them rolling tanks in the street and sending every last pimply, baggy assed, illiterate, gutless, violent one of them to a lime pit, tut suite.  And they shouldn't, either.  Now roll the FARK Atheist Brigade.  Out.

????


upload.wikimedia.org

What a Tut Suite may look like...
2014-02-25 02:56:54 AM
3 votes:
In the movie "The Experts", the defecting Russian agent is gunned down by the other Russian agent but is saved when the bullet is stopped by the Japanese portable cassette player in his pocket.

So God is Japanese. I really think so.
2014-02-25 08:47:14 AM
2 votes:
lh6.googleusercontent.com

God came down from Heaven and stopped these motherfarking bullets.
2014-02-25 08:16:06 AM
2 votes:
i1.ytimg.com

Doesn't always work
2014-02-25 08:15:49 AM
2 votes:
It's been proven time and time again, Jesus is NOT going to stop bullets. Heck, he couldn't even stop a couple of nails.
2014-02-25 06:32:29 AM
2 votes:

hardinparamedic: MaudlinMutantMollusk: It'd take a 20mm depleted uranium round to punch through bullsh*t that dense

I wonder if it's as legitimate as the cop who's badge stopped a bullet.


Well, if it's a legitimate shooting the body has was of shutting that stuff down.
2014-02-25 06:16:07 AM
2 votes:
2014-02-25 04:55:59 AM
2 votes:
an innocent is killed by god ... god is great
an asshole is killed by god ... god is ...
an asshole lives by god ... god is ....
terrorists blow up the trade center god is great
god prevents a different suicide bomb ...


fark it
god is a complete and total asshole

god let bush 2.0 not choke to death on that pretzle ... god is an asshole
2014-02-25 12:38:49 AM
2 votes:
It'd take a 20mm depleted uranium round to punch through bullsh*t that dense
2014-02-25 12:33:54 AM
2 votes:
FTFA: Reached at his home in Lakeside, Mont., Eugene H. Peterson, author of "The Message," told FoxNews.com that he was thrilled to know his book stopped bullets. That's wonderful," said Peterson, who is 81. "I've heard stories about that happening during the second World War. I'm glad to be in the club."


1.bp.blogspot.com
2014-02-25 12:32:57 AM
2 votes:

Mike_LowELL: [s3.amazonaws.com image 600x300]

Picture taken right before the incident.


i.imgur.com

Woah ho. Almost posted something that shouldn't have been seen without an NSFW tag.
2014-02-25 12:27:59 AM
2 votes:

mamoru: But as an honorary, if not official, member of the Fark Anti-Religion Brigade (or whatever we're being called now), it's obligatory to get a dig in. ;)


How about the Fark Anti-Religion Tiraders?

F.A.R.T. has a nice ring to it :-)
2014-02-25 12:17:24 AM
2 votes:
s3.amazonaws.com

Picture taken right before the incident.
2014-02-25 12:08:52 AM
2 votes:
Wait until we get a story about bullets being stopped by a copy of "50 Shades of Gray". Where will your God be then?
2014-02-25 08:20:51 AM
1 votes:

RobSeace: What a Tut Suite may look like...


Got a condo made of stone-a
2014-02-25 07:20:43 AM
1 votes:
What if he'd had a copy of The Gay Agenda® in his pocket.  Would the god-controlled bullet have screeched to a halt mid-air like Elmer Fudd's ammo, then turned around, flown to congress and passed a law allowing itself and all its bullet buddies to refuse to do their job of killin' when the bullet sincerely believes it shouldn't have to serve the homogheys?

If so, then Gay Agendas-Pocket Edition for everyone amen!!
2014-02-25 06:52:01 AM
1 votes:
Burning question: Why was God shooting at him in the first place?
2014-02-25 04:53:17 AM
1 votes:

mamoru: I didn't see that quote in the article anywhere, subby. I did see these, however...

"There was obviously some kind of intervention involved in this incident because (Waggoner) should probably not be here," Dayton Police Sgt. Michael Pauley told the paper at the scene

Ah, yes. The old God obviously intervened by putting the book at the right place to stop the bullets, but he couldn't be bothered to intervene in the lives of the assailants to prevent them becoming attempted murderers. Gotta love those mysterious ways.

Of course, the cop doesn't explicitly say "God", so I'm sure he just meant the book intervened in some way between the man and the bullet. But as an honorary, if not official, member of the Fark Anti-Religion Brigade (or whatever we're being called now), it's obligatory to get a dig in. ;)

"That's wonderful," said Peterson, who is 81. "I've heard stories about that happening during the second World War. I'm glad to be in the club."

Heh. I actually like the book author's reaction. :)


god is a COMPLETE and total asshole.
what kind of tiny dicked little god would save this moron???
2014-02-25 12:39:34 AM
1 votes:
They all laughed at me when I started carrying the complete works of Stephen King in hardcover with me at all times, but who's laughing now?

Not the team of physical therapists working round-the-clock to repair my shattered spine, that's who!
2014-02-25 12:31:14 AM
1 votes:
Unless you gave political speech afterwards, I'm not impressed.
 
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