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(Washington Post)   Dear Prudence, I found the concierge in my hotel room wrapped in my sheets and smelling my pillow. Should I tell anyone?   (live.washingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Weird, age appropriate, Prudi, biological fathers  
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7359 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2014 at 5:11 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-25 12:12:36 AM  
Tell everyone. And take pictures.
 
2014-02-25 01:14:35 AM  
Threesome!
 
2014-02-25 05:21:17 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-25 05:34:55 AM  
I promised I wouldn't do it again. What's this lady's problem? Sheesh.
 
2014-02-25 05:38:04 AM  
www.awesomelyluvvie.com
 
2014-02-25 05:54:07 AM  
This item is sad on all sides. Sad concierge. Sad relationship. Sad question. Sad answer. Thanks, Slate.
 
2014-02-25 05:57:32 AM  

Dear prudence,


I like submitting fake letters to shiatty advice columnists for lulz. Should I tell anyone?


Signed,


New to the internet

 
2014-02-25 06:04:11 AM  
Dear Prudence

I have recently become obsessed with a woman and started stalking her.

Signed,

ElPresidente

PS: Look out of your window.
 
2014-02-25 06:07:17 AM  
HA! Nice cover, concierge. He's clearly a shapeshifter, and he was smelling and rolling around in the sheets because they still smelled of the girl that went missing days ago from the lodge. He didn't change the sheets because he was waiting for the opportunity to roll around in them, gain the sent (because he specializes in shifting into a dog), and go and find her.

This kind of thing happens I. Louisiana ALL the time.
 
2014-02-25 06:26:08 AM  

Witty Comment: HA! Nice cover, concierge. He's clearly a shapeshifter, and he was smelling and rolling around in the sheets because they still smelled of the girl that went missing days ago from the lodge. He didn't change the sheets because he was waiting for the opportunity to roll around in them, gain the sent (because he specializes in shifting into a dog), and go and find her.

This kind of thing happens I. Louisiana ALL the time.


Well played.
 
2014-02-25 06:42:43 AM  
He was one of those Japanese bed warmers.

/Those are a thing.
//Not kidding.
 
2014-02-25 06:52:23 AM  
When a situation like that happens at a hotel you need to get ahold of the concier..... oh.
 
2014-02-25 06:55:33 AM  
Should I tell anyone?

No, but the morning before you leave, take a dump in the bed. That should cure it.
 
2014-02-25 07:25:19 AM  
Hopefully you learned your lesson and you'll actually tip the bellhop next time, you ungrateful prick.
 
2014-02-25 07:38:35 AM  
Some people pay extra for that service.
 
2014-02-25 07:43:32 AM  
Review: The turndown service at this hotel is a bit much.
 
2014-02-25 07:49:58 AM  
You should absolutely not tell anyone. You will receive the best service in that hotel for life. You own that concierge.
 
2014-02-25 07:52:23 AM  
If he wasn't rummaging through your suitcase and sniffing your panties, he's probably harmless.
 
2014-02-25 07:52:26 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-02-25 08:29:19 AM  
After I read the column in question, I read the rest of the page.
I should not have done that.
 
2014-02-25 08:44:46 AM  

robohobo: [img.fark.net image 294x172]


For him?  We're good.  But only Tim.
 
2014-02-25 08:58:35 AM  
This is just an elaborate perfume advertisement, isn't it.
 
2014-02-25 09:20:01 AM  
when people love their jobs, why do some get upset?
 
2014-02-25 09:21:26 AM  
Dear Letter Writer,

Do not ever buy one of those black light devices that outline organic stains.  For you, that ship has sailed.

Sincerely,

James Rieper
 
2014-02-25 09:24:16 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: You should absolutely not tell anyone. You will receive the best service in that hotel for life. You own that concierge.


You win!
 
2014-02-25 09:50:12 AM  
Thanks, Obama.
 
2014-02-25 09:50:20 AM  
He doesn't mind the wet spot....
 
2014-02-25 10:17:47 AM  
I'm glad these are greened every week. I love the entertainment value.
 
2014-02-25 10:48:50 AM  
I worked room service in a huge hotel long once and after a couple of things I witnessed I will never, ever be rude to a chambermaid.
 
2014-02-25 11:23:13 AM  
The entire column is comedy gold.


img.4plebs.org
 
2014-02-25 12:21:44 PM  
I love reading these letters. Its like a cracker jack box. At the bottom will there be a shiatty hologram or a badass decoder ring? Only prudence and her farked up letters know.
 
2014-02-25 12:31:01 PM  
Let my tell you my little story about...the Concierge

It was a terrible day. My legs felt like four pounds of cheese in a two-pound bag. I didn't know what to do. My eyes were bloodshot, and actually my legs were bloodshot as well. It was strange, but I was happy. I got into my car. I decided I was going to leave the city. Gonna go south, gonna have a holiday.

So I got in my car and I wondered why it wasn't running and then I realized I didn't have any keys. So I went in the house, found my keys, came back out, started the car, and drove down the highway.

The highway shimmered like black incense on the bald head of a Buddhist monk. I drove down the highway and I got to that big city of Miami. The steaming, seedy city - the city that's so seedy, the have trees there. Well I went into the nearest hotel and I went up to the door and I said, "I'd like a room." Then I realized I was outside and I had to go inside. So I went inside and I walked up to the desk and I said, "I'd like a room, please."

They said allright, and they gave me a key. Then I turned around, and there waiting for me was the Concierge.

Well he looked at me, then I looked at him, then he looked back at me, and then I took a putty knife and I rubbed it against his cheeks in a very provocative way. And he turned around and said, "Follow me."

So I followed him up the stairs. I went to my room. He opened the door for me, and then he hit me in the back of the head with a big silver shovel. I said, "What's that about?"

He said, "You get it free with the room." Who was I to argue?

And I went in. My whole room was covered with soap. Little soaps, all over the room, everywhere! In the bed, on the ceiling, everywhere! I said, "What's with the soap?"

And he says, "What, you don't like soap?"

I said, "No, I'll take it, thanks."

He left the room, and then gave me a stare that almost turned my blood to blood. Anyway, I lay down on the bed, and it was a hot day so I was tossing and turning, and tossing and turning. And then the soap started to lather up and lather up! And I was gonna die! I was gonna suffocate! So I called the front desk, and they sent up the Concierge!

Well he looked at me up and down, and he looked at me like I was four pounds of shiat in a two- pound bag. And I looked back at him like he was four pounds of shiat in a four-pound bag. And then he looked at me like I was six pounds of shiat in a pound-and-a-half-bag. And I looked at him like he was 18 kilograms of shiat in a thimble. And then I stabbed him in the face. And then he bit my head off and put it in a bag. And that's when I fell in love with the Concierge.

Now we live in a small beach house on a small beach on Long Island - it's a long, small island, but I love it well. And he loves me well. And sometimes we take a trip down the highway that's glistening like a Buddhist monk with incense ablaze, and we think of the day we first met - me, and the Concierge.

Concierge...

/Apologies to Corky & The Juice Pigs
 
2014-02-25 01:28:53 PM  
Couldn't hurt.
 
2014-02-25 01:45:59 PM  
I see Prudence is trying harder to compete with Dan Savage.
 
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