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(Montana Standard)   Intruder caught smoking and watching porn DVDs in homeowner's garage, wearing only bib overalls. "The residents said the DVDs did not belong to them and he must have brought the porn with him"   (mtstandard.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, watching porn, overalls, parking garage, Missoula County, smoking, homeowners  
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3388 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2014 at 8:04 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-02-24 07:40:27 PM  
He was just there to fix the cable.
 
2014-02-24 07:52:53 PM  
Their is a fine line between calling the fire department and Jiffy Lube and smoking Butte garage hangs its boner friction on it to dry.
 
2014-02-24 07:59:59 PM  
I can just see the husband talking to the cops in front of his wife. Those discs? Not ours officer. Never seen 'em before. Pervert musta brought 'em hisself.

The real question: did his wife buy the bullshiat story?

The other real question: why felony burglary when, allegedly, all the guy did was smoke, 'bate, and leave some free porn? Breaking and entering, maybe.
 
2014-02-24 08:06:39 PM  
Police still have no explanation for the pizza delivery guy who showed up at the garage minutes later.
 
2014-02-24 08:07:27 PM  
Wanted for questioning:

youchew.net
 
2014-02-24 08:07:36 PM  

new_york_monty: I can just see the husband talking to the cops in front of his wife. Those discs? Not ours officer. Never seen 'em before. Pervert musta brought 'em hisself.

The real question: did his wife buy the bullshiat story?

The other real question: why felony burglary when, allegedly, all the guy did was smoke, 'bate, and leave some free porn? Breaking and entering, maybe.


No mention of him even bating.
 
2014-02-24 08:07:59 PM  

new_york_monty: I can just see the husband talking to the cops in front of his wife. Those discs? Not ours officer. Never seen 'em before. Pervert musta brought 'em hisself.

The real question: did his wife buy the bullshiat story?

The other real question: why felony burglary when, allegedly, all the guy did was smoke, 'bate, and leave some free porn? Breaking and entering, maybe.


Busted.
 
2014-02-24 08:09:03 PM  
Riiiiiight. He carries Alien Anal Invaders 6 with him everywhere he goes, no way he found that in the house.
 
2014-02-24 08:10:11 PM  
Inb4 austinpowerspen!spump.jpg
 
2014-02-24 08:10:35 PM  
Remember, it's always a dildo - never my dildo.
 
2014-02-24 08:10:51 PM  
Dad ?
 
2014-02-24 08:11:58 PM  
Shabby reporting.  It does not even say what kind of porn it was.
 
2014-02-24 08:13:31 PM  
He also brought the porn hidden in the closet in the "important papers" box, under the quilt from your Aunt.
 
2014-02-24 08:14:19 PM  

new_york_monty: The other real question: why felony burglary when, allegedly, all the guy did was smoke, 'bate, and leave some free porn? Breaking and entering, maybe.



Intent to commit another crime, even if just a misdemeanor. I would think the whacking off is a sex offense of some sort. Having the DVDs when he broke in proves intent.
 
2014-02-24 08:14:25 PM  
Is the Unlikely tag on a cruise?
 
2014-02-24 08:16:44 PM  
Many sexist assumptions here.  Do we know they weren't nubile girl-on-girl action bought on eBay by the wife?
/I sure hope so.
 
2014-02-24 08:17:03 PM  
lessthanunique.files.wordpress.com

he he, Butte garage.
 
2014-02-24 08:17:46 PM  

untaken_name: He also brought the porn hidden in the closet in the "important papers" box, under the quilt from your Aunt.


Wow, the Chris Rock, The Dude and Aunt Jenny trifecta.
 
2014-02-24 08:21:14 PM  

fusillade762: new_york_monty: I can just see the husband talking to the cops in front of his wife. Those discs? Not ours officer. Never seen 'em before. Pervert musta brought 'em hisself.

The real question: did his wife buy the bullshiat story?

The other real question: why felony burglary when, allegedly, all the guy did was smoke, 'bate, and leave some free porn? Breaking and entering, maybe.

No mention of him even bating.


Overalls have a reach through feature, so he was batin without even having to unzip them.

Very handy feature. I have a pair for work. Muhahahaha!!!!!
 
2014-02-24 08:21:58 PM  
Needs a kinky tag.
 
2014-02-24 08:24:18 PM  

rkiller1: untaken_name: He also brought the porn hidden in the closet in the "important papers" box, under the quilt from your Aunt.

Wow, the Chris Rock, The Dude and Aunt Jenny trifecta.


Obviously you hide your porn somewhere else. I can respect that.
 
2014-02-24 08:25:52 PM  
Actually, wearing only bib overalls is quite comfortable. Not for those around you, generally, but in general.
 
2014-02-24 08:26:14 PM  
At least he didn't eat their ham
 
2014-02-24 08:26:29 PM  
www.notinhalloffame.com
 
2014-02-24 08:30:17 PM  

fusillade762: He was just there to fix the cable.


Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

// movin' to Montana soon
 
2014-02-24 08:30:24 PM  
Did it get physical? Did he have to beat off the intruder?
 
2014-02-24 08:34:40 PM  
Wasn't Ted Kaczynski wearing overalls when they raided his plywood shack up there?
 
2014-02-24 08:35:23 PM  
When I die, I hope someone doesn't break into my house and plant porn in the box labeled college papers.   I hope it's tasteful too, not some weird midget stuff.
 
2014-02-24 08:38:12 PM  
Butte garage porn.
I hear that's popular.
 
2014-02-24 08:39:01 PM  
www.obsessedwithwrestling.com www.obsessedwithwrestling.com
 
2014-02-24 08:39:43 PM  
trs86.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-24 08:40:31 PM  
Right?  DVDs?  He might as well have brought a copy of Swank.
 
2014-02-24 08:40:51 PM  

TheGogmagog: When I die, I hope someone doesn't break into my house and plant porn in the box labeled college papers.   I hope it's tasteful too, not some weird midget stuff.


Of course.  That would be rude.  What use would you have with midget porn after you die?
 
2014-02-24 08:49:35 PM  
If it was in my garage, my wife would be all  "you hiding cigarettes in the garage again?"
 
2014-02-24 08:53:11 PM  
If that was in my garage, my wife would be a all "can you ask your dad to leave, again?"
 
2014-02-24 08:56:00 PM  
GO AWAY! BATIN'!
 
2014-02-24 08:57:15 PM  
Check out that first name...

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-24 08:59:11 PM  

brap: Their is a fine line between calling the fire department and Jiffy Lube and smoking Butte garage hangs its boner friction on it to dry.


Okay, this is clearly english, but it must be a dialect I've never seen before.
 
2014-02-24 09:03:14 PM  

hstein3: brap: Their is a fine line between calling the fire department and Jiffy Lube and smoking Butte garage hangs its boner friction on it to dry.

Okay, this is clearly english, but it must be a dialect I've never seen before.


I'm not so certain...
 
2014-02-24 09:08:01 PM  

new_york_monty: I can just see the husband talking to the cops in front of his wife. Those discs? Not ours officer. Never seen 'em before. Pervert musta brought 'em hisself.


CSB:
Some years ago, my friend John's apartment was burglarized. The cops caught the guy, with John's stuff still in his pockets. They showed it to John, so he could reclaim his property. John pretended not to recognize the bag of weed. After they hauled the perp away and finished the interview, one cop handed John the bag, saying, "Here, we could tell you were lying."

/Philly's finest.
 
2014-02-24 09:08:47 PM  

Billy Liar: fusillade762: He was just there to fix the cable.

Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

// movin' to Montana soon


Funnily enough, that is actually my name.
 
2014-02-24 09:20:58 PM  

hstein3: brap: Their is a fine line between calling the fire department and Jiffy Lube and smoking Butte garage hangs its boner friction on it to dry.

Okay, this is clearly english, but it must be a dialect I've never seen before.


Just you bate 'enry 'iggins, just you bate.
 
2014-02-24 09:23:17 PM  
My cousin has a very interesting story...porn charges on his cable bill started showin up. he swore it wasn't him led to many fights with his wife...then they came home one day and the toilet was clogged with a huge duece...neither had deuced this deuce. next day the wife comes home for lunch finds random guy jackin it in the living room. he runs out the fire escape cops are called they catch him...turns out it was the old maintence man for the complex...breakin in to jack it n shiat.

/csb
 
2014-02-24 09:30:57 PM  

Silentbob768768: My cousin has a very interesting story...porn charges on his cable bill started showin up. he swore it wasn't him led to many fights with his wife...then they came home one day and the toilet was clogged with a huge duece...neither had deuced this deuce. next day the wife comes home for lunch finds random guy jackin it in the living room. he runs out the fire escape cops are called they catch him...turns out it was the old maintence man for the complex...breakin in to jack it n shiat.

/csb


niiiiice
 
2014-02-24 09:37:53 PM  
only overalls?
the fark else do you need to wear?
 
2014-02-24 09:38:03 PM  

Kujira: hstein3: brap: Their is a fine line between calling the fire department and Jiffy Lube and smoking Butte garage hangs its boner friction on it to dry.

Okay, this is clearly english, but it must be a dialect I've never seen before.

I'm not so certain...


I know all those words, I just don't recognize them in that order
 
2014-02-24 09:38:37 PM  
Yea right.
"not my porn" ...... Oldest story in the book.
 
2014-02-24 09:39:58 PM  

Silentbob768768: My cousin has a very interesting story...porn charges on his cable bill started showin up. he swore it wasn't him led to many fights with his wife...then they came home one day and the toilet was clogged with a huge duece...neither had deuced this deuce. next day the wife comes home for lunch finds random guy jackin it in the living room. he runs out the fire escape cops are called they catch him...turns out it was the old maintence man for the complex...breakin in to jack it n shiat.

/csb


It was the meth; its a helluva drug. I've gotten off it since then.
 
2014-02-24 09:44:43 PM  

Valiente: Actually, wearing only bib overalls is quite comfortable. Not for those around you, generally, but in general.


Yeah, I'm not really seeing the problem.

Now, if he was only wearing a bib....
 
2014-02-24 09:54:55 PM  

FarkinSneakyBastage: Silentbob768768: My cousin has a very interesting story...porn charges on his cable bill started showin up. he swore it wasn't him led to many fights with his wife...then they came home one day and the toilet was clogged with a huge duece...neither had deuced this deuce. next day the wife comes home for lunch finds random guy jackin it in the living room. he runs out the fire escape cops are called they catch him...turns out it was the old maintence man for the complex...breakin in to jack it n shiat.

/csb

It was the meth; its a helluva drug. I've gotten off it since then.


I hope your digestive problems have gotten better...

/the size of a small football yo
 
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