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(Guardian)   Russian called "new language of love", at least for those people whose idea of romance is being seduced by someone who sounds like they are gargling on a coffee can half-full of rocks   (theguardian.com) divider line 102
    More: Unlikely, Russians  
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1433 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2014 at 11:13 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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vpb [TotalFark]
2014-02-24 10:55:12 AM  
I would voter Romanian.

Not that I don't love and respect all eastern European hookers.
 
2014-02-24 10:55:24 AM  
padresteve.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-24 11:14:14 AM  

mutterfark:


And we're done here.
 
2014-02-24 11:15:34 AM  
The Russian language is actually really beautiful. One of my best friends (who happens to be my co-worker - we pretty much BETTER be friends with how much time we spend in a small office together) is from Russia and speaks fluently.  I have no idea what she is saying when she talks to people on the phone in Russian, but I'm mesmerized because it's a really pretty language, and SO completely different from English.
 
2014-02-24 11:16:52 AM  
What no Klingon?
 
2014-02-24 11:18:33 AM  

mutterfark: [padresteve.files.wordpress.com image 400x300]


i280.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-24 11:19:09 AM  

mutterfark: [padresteve.files.wordpress.com image 400x300]


I'll get the lights.
 
2014-02-24 11:20:54 AM  

serpent_sky: The Russian language is actually really beautiful. One of my best friends (who happens to be my co-worker - we pretty much BETTER be friends with how much time we spend in a small office together) is from Russia and speaks fluently.  I have no idea what she is saying when she talks to people on the phone in Russian, but I'm mesmerized because it's a really pretty language, and SO completely different from English.


Seconded.

I think subby meant Dutch or German. Friend had a gal who was here on a student visa, it sounded like pure vocal sex when she had a conversation with another student. Didn't help that she was a blue eyed blonde knockout. Yeah, she left him for a wealthy fortysomething, ha ha.
 
2014-02-24 11:21:29 AM  

serpent_sky: The Russian language is actually really beautiful. One of my best friends (who happens to be my co-worker - we pretty much BETTER be friends with how much time we spend in a small office together) is from Russia and speaks fluently.  I have no idea what she is saying when she talks to people on the phone in Russian, but I'm mesmerized because it's a really pretty language, and SO completely different from English.


IMHO the feminine version of a language always sounds better than the masculine.  Even German can sound dead-sexy when uttered from a pretty Fraulein and still sound like Der Fuehrer is coming to kick your door in  when spoken in full masculine spittle form.
 
2014-02-24 11:23:06 AM  
www.classicmedia.tv

Ivana F**alot
Xenia Onatopp

/keep it going people
 
2014-02-24 11:24:19 AM  
I guess sounding like you are always angry is romantic these days?
 
2014-02-24 11:30:48 AM  

serpent_sky: The Russian language is actually really beautiful.


yup.  studied russian.  it is a beautiful language.  it can even be mesmerizing, and there is a real beauty and malleability to its usage.  they enjoy a syntax based on morphology instead of word placement (old english used to be like this, but we got dumb, removed most of our morphemes and just said, words must be in this order, cause we're too lazy to learn 5 noun cases.  cases pretty much only exist in pronouns and the genitive case, and even then it's very simple.  dative and accusative are the same, and genitive is just an 's).

well, being a morphological language, you will have a lot of elegant suffixes to words that will create a certain muscality to the language.  further, english is the most monotonous language on earth, so some sing-songy-ness in russian is a nice change from the norm.  (i actually think our natural monotony is why we love accents so much, because it's fun to hear our language change tone once in a while)
 
2014-02-24 11:30:59 AM  
"Guys will listen to anything if they think it's foreplay"
 
2014-02-24 11:31:20 AM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-02-24 11:37:42 AM  
Russian kinda sounds like English played backwards to me.
 
2014-02-24 11:38:52 AM  

Skunkwolf: serpent_sky: The Russian language is actually really beautiful. One of my best friends (who happens to be my co-worker - we pretty much BETTER be friends with how much time we spend in a small office together) is from Russia and speaks fluently.  I have no idea what she is saying when she talks to people on the phone in Russian, but I'm mesmerized because it's a really pretty language, and SO completely different from English.

Seconded.

I think subby meant Dutch or German.


This.
 
2014-02-24 11:39:14 AM  
My ex was a Russian linguist. He could make me melt in a pile of goo by just talking to me. He could have been reciting the recipe for cow tongues basted in squirrel assholes, and I would have still splooshed. So. farking. Hot.
 
2014-02-24 11:41:16 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-24 11:45:46 AM  
Another vote for Dutch.

the trouble with russian is that - however romantic the situation, and however romantic the talk, they always LOOK like they are reciting the recipe for cow tongues basted in squirrel assholes

/mnyar zavoot furterfan
 
2014-02-24 11:46:43 AM  

exparrot: Ivana F**alot
Xenia Onatopp

/keep it going people


Was gonna say, I vant vimmin who can zay moose undt skvirrel in such a way to make my boner shatter
 
2014-02-24 11:46:43 AM  

formerfloozy: My ex was a Russian linguist. He could make me melt in a pile of goo by just talking to me. He could have been reciting the recipe for cow tongues basted in squirrel assholes, and I would have still splooshed. So. farking. Hot.


Go on.
 
2014-02-24 11:47:12 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Skunkwolf: serpent_sky: The Russian language is actually really beautiful. One of my best friends (who happens to be my co-worker - we pretty much BETTER be friends with how much time we spend in a small office together) is from Russia and speaks fluently.  I have no idea what she is saying when she talks to people on the phone in Russian, but I'm mesmerized because it's a really pretty language, and SO completely different from English.

Seconded.

I think subby meant Dutch or German.

This.


Try Swiss German. Better gargle with aspirin first though. You know those awful Ricola commercials where they talk about they now have "Chrüterchraft "? I was talking with a Swiss friend to get the pronunciation correct and damn near strained a vocal cord. I can speak regular German OK but Swiss German sounds like a cat with hairballs trying to cough them up through a throat full of phlegm and razor blades.
 
2014-02-24 11:47:16 AM  

serpent_sky: The Russian language is actually really beautiful. One of my best friends (who happens to be my co-worker - we pretty much BETTER be friends with how much time we spend in a small office together) is from Russia and speaks fluently.  I have no idea what she is saying when she talks to people on the phone in Russian, but I'm mesmerized because it's a really pretty language, and SO completely different from English.


For real I've been watching a lot of Russian movies on Netflix and yes Slavic languages are sexy.
 
2014-02-24 11:47:53 AM  
Coffee can full of rocks? add in "coughing up phlem" and your speaking Hebrew there my friend!
 
2014-02-24 11:48:12 AM  

LemSkroob: I guess sounding like you are always angry is romantic these days?


Or pleading "nyet nyet " while sobbing, like some east European videos I may have seen
 
2014-02-24 11:48:42 AM  
I agree.

Studied Russian in college, and listening to it being spoken fluently is mesmerizing.

It also helps when the speaker is scorching hot. And a lacrosse (and rugby!) player.

/that is all
 
2014-02-24 11:49:06 AM  
German is best described as "gutteral", as if the words come from a full belly of food. French is nice obviously, but Hawaiian is probably the most beautiful language in the world. Its funny how the nicest sounding languages come from the biggest asshole cultures.
 
2014-02-24 11:49:26 AM  

genepool lifeboat: serpent_sky: The Russian language is actually really beautiful. One of my best friends (who happens to be my co-worker - we pretty much BETTER be friends with how much time we spend in a small office together) is from Russia and speaks fluently.  I have no idea what she is saying when she talks to people on the phone in Russian, but I'm mesmerized because it's a really pretty language, and SO completely different from English.

IMHO the feminine version of a language always sounds better than the masculine.  Even German can sound dead-sexy when uttered from a pretty Fraulein and still sound like Der Fuehrer is coming to kick your door in  when spoken in full masculine spittle form.


Dunno, but saying "I love you" in German (Ich liebe dich) still sounds like someone is secretly going to annex Poland.
 
2014-02-24 11:51:59 AM  
satwcomic.com
 
2014-02-24 11:52:09 AM  

genepool lifeboat: IMHO the feminine version of a language always sounds better than the masculine.  Even German can sound dead-sexy when uttered from a pretty Fraulein and still sound like Der Fuehrer is coming to kick your door in  when spoken in full masculine spittle form.


I lived in Germany for six years, and never felt that way about a woman speaking German.  The hottest German girl propositioning you still sounds like dominatrix (NTTIAWWT) in a bad mood.  A German accented English, however...

Regarding Russian: a woman speaking Russian can give you a handjob over the phone.  A man speaking Russian sounds half drunk and utterly disgruntled.  Never heard any other language like it.  Even Slovene sounds pretty omnisexual, regardless of who is speaking it.  Polish?  I understand that a guy speaking Polish is the universal panty solvent.  Russian is just weird that way.
 
2014-02-24 11:54:06 AM  
i141.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-24 11:56:10 AM  

CygnusDarius: [satwcomic.com image 466x1500]


God I love SATW
 
2014-02-24 11:56:48 AM  
French is the language of love.
German is the language of war.
Russian is the language of both.
 
2014-02-24 11:59:52 AM  

Laobaojun: genepool lifeboat: IMHO the feminine version of a language always sounds better than the masculine.  Even German can sound dead-sexy when uttered from a pretty Fraulein and still sound like Der Fuehrer is coming to kick your door in  when spoken in full masculine spittle form.

I lived in Germany for six years, and never felt that way about a woman speaking German.  The hottest German girl propositioning you still sounds like dominatrix (NTTIAWWT) in a bad mood.  A German accented English, however...


German does sound angry. My friend once recited "Little Bunny Foo Foo" in his thick German accent and I swear I thought he was going to send the rabbit to the showers.
 
2014-02-24 12:02:16 PM  

formerfloozy: My ex was a Russian linguist. He could make me melt in a pile of goo by just talking to me. He could have been reciting the recipe for cow tongues basted in squirrel assholes, and I would have still splooshed. So. farking. Hot.


See, Fark needs a page for posting comments out of context. Just imagine reading that sentence on its own. You know which one.
 
2014-02-24 12:03:02 PM  

dj_bigbird: French is the language of love.
German is the language of war.
Russian is the language of both.


The Language of Love.
 
2014-02-24 12:04:56 PM  
Russian women are sexy right up until they open their mouths. Zero sexy. Like dry toast
 
2014-02-24 12:06:46 PM  

mcmnky: mutterfark:

And we're done here.


Don't call me stupid!
 
2014-02-24 12:06:55 PM  
Pashol na khui, mudak.
 
2014-02-24 12:11:15 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Skunkwolf: serpent_sky: The Russian language is actually really beautiful. One of my best friends (who happens to be my co-worker - we pretty much BETTER be friends with how much time we spend in a small office together) is from Russia and speaks fluently.  I have no idea what she is saying when she talks to people on the phone in Russian, but I'm mesmerized because it's a really pretty language, and SO completely different from English.

Seconded.

I think subby meant Dutch or German.

This.


Just popping in to make sure this was covered.
 
2014-02-24 12:11:48 PM  
and don't confuse Romantic language with language of love.

Romantic means based on Latin
 
2014-02-24 12:13:49 PM  

dj_bigbird: French is the language of love.
German is the language of war.
Russian is the language of both.


yeah more like sperm war, amirite?
 
2014-02-24 12:17:39 PM  

brimed03: See, Fark needs a page for posting comments out of context. Just imagine reading that sentence on its own. You know which one.


"My ex was a Russian linguist" isn't really worthy of a page. But hey, whatever floats your boat.
 
2014-02-24 12:19:46 PM  
Being a Ukrainian speaker, I understand a good amount of Russian but it will never be as pretty as my own.  Just one example could put this to rest:  Russian is littered with a hard G sound (as in "Gutter") that very rarely occurs in Ukrainian and instead you'd hear an H (as in "Half").  Going into further reasons shouldn't even be necessary if you listen for the G vs H sounds and Ukrainian certainly isn't even alone in this.  Hell, Russian isn't even in the top 5 prettiest Slavic languages...
 
2014-02-24 12:20:47 PM  
I guess Russian can be the language of love in much the same way that "slurring drunk" is the language of love.
 
2014-02-24 12:24:15 PM  

formerfloozy: My ex was a Russian linguist. He could make me melt in a pile of goo by just talking to me. He could have been reciting the recipe for cow tongues basted in squirrel assholes, and I would have still splooshed. So. farking. Hot.


How cunning of him.
 
2014-02-24 12:24:29 PM  
Russian accents:  Men sound like they can and will kick the absolute shiat out of anything and anyone, and women have a perpetual bedroom voice.  farking love it.
 
2014-02-24 12:25:07 PM  

bmr68: Russian women are sexy right up until they open their mouths. Zero sexy. Like dry toast


Maybe it depends on the woman, or where she's from, because I've heard both.  Much like the way an English accent varies in appeal depending on whether she's asking to "be of assistance" or is she can "freshen yer drink guv'nah?"  Not that I find English accents sexy either way, but some are more pleasing and others more, well, fascinating.  But similarly, while I've heard some Russian accents that were nicer than others, I don't think I've ever heard one I'd call sexy.  Too much violence in the speech... you can just hear the anger one misstep away.

As regards Dutch... yeah.  Awful.  BUT-- and this is important-- if a Dutch woman learns English in an English-speaking country, she picks up the local accent perfectly.  I flew to Amersterdam sitting next to a young Dutch Marilyn Monroe look-alike who learned English nannying in the South.  Imagine, Marilyn Monroe speaking like a belle.

/no, I did not get her number
//I was going to visit another Dutch girl who would not have appreciated that.  Sadly, she did not learn her English anywhere with a nice accent.  But I'm sure my attempts at Dutch sounded pretty awful too.
 
2014-02-24 12:25:19 PM  
My husband is Russian. Every time he speaks to his family over Skype it sounds like they are all very angry with each other.
 
2014-02-24 12:26:41 PM  
Ty luch sviet vi tomnom sierstvey

Yeah yeah, the english spelling is all jacked up, but that is one of the most romantic things you can say to a woman in Russian.

"You are a beam of light in a kingdom of darkness."

I think its' the opening line to a famous poem or somesuch.
I really want to learn the language, but that damn Rosetta Stone shiat is expensive.
 
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