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(Daily Mail)   And the latest diet craze that can't possibly go wrong is *spins wheel* A new drug that turns your fat into urine   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 84
    More: Strange  
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9074 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2014 at 1:02 AM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-24 01:04:58 AM
Golden (lumpy) showers?
 
2014-02-24 01:05:50 AM
And here starts the zombie apocalypse.
 
2014-02-24 01:08:55 AM
Whole new meaning to pissing you life away.
 
2014-02-24 01:09:31 AM
If I could pee out fat I'd disappear.
 
2014-02-24 01:10:48 AM
Who says Dr. Who never lead to actual advancements.
 
2014-02-24 01:11:17 AM
If it ends up being fatal...


Grumycatgood.jpeg
 
2014-02-24 01:11:37 AM
www.oberonplace.com
 
2014-02-24 01:11:53 AM
BlackMtnMan: Glad that didn't take too long to post.
 
2014-02-24 01:12:20 AM
Let's get this out of the way.

uofi.box.com
 
2014-02-24 01:14:05 AM

sbutler: Let's get this out of the way.

[uofi.box.com image 418x239]


Yep, those 2 pounds of fat making an escape are what I expected to see here
 
2014-02-24 01:14:15 AM

sbutler: Let's get this out of the way.

[uofi.box.com image 418x239]


Sigh. Beat me to it by 2 minutes
 
2014-02-24 01:14:32 AM
Critics say it could spell danger for cholesterol if fat turns to salt in blood

Other critics say that if steel turns into foam rubber, we're DOOOOOMED!
 
2014-02-24 01:15:45 AM
Because when one needs the latest health headlines, they turn to the Daily Fail

/what's the percentage Fark receives as a kickback from them anyway
 
2014-02-24 01:17:19 AM

redflag: [www.oberonplace.com image 600x492]


bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
2014-02-24 01:18:42 AM

DanZero: Because when one needs the latest health headlines, they turn to the Daily Fail

/what's the percentage Fark receives as a kickback from them anyway


When it comes to health topics that appear dangerous and potentially stupid, The Daily Mail is perfect for those stories.
 
2014-02-24 01:19:47 AM
They already have a drug that metabolizes fat into body heat. It's just crazy dangerous.
 
2014-02-24 01:20:14 AM
Anyone have any streams to the infomercial?

Slow, gravy stinking streams.
 
2014-02-24 01:28:38 AM
dl.dropboxusercontent.com
 
2014-02-24 01:30:03 AM

BlackMtnMan: If I could pee out fat I'd disappear.


This might need further research
 
2014-02-24 01:30:13 AM
"Well, yeah. Just pissed it all away. Expecting to get my replacement kidneys any day now."

Unintended consequences are the bestest....
 
2014-02-24 01:30:51 AM

strangeluck: DanZero: Because when one needs the latest health headlines, they turn to the Daily Fail

/what's the percentage Fark receives as a kickback from them anyway

When it comes to health topics that appear dangerous and potentially stupid, The Daily Mail is perfect for those stories.


Ar you saying this might not be healthy?
 
2014-02-24 01:31:20 AM
Is the Unlikely tag busy taking a whiz?
 
2014-02-24 01:35:59 AM
This will probably end up making you pine for the days when Olestra turned fat into poop.
 
2014-02-24 01:39:14 AM
Jesus. Lois McMaster Bujold knew or predicted this in A CIVIL CAMPAIGN. Anyone else remember that?
 
2014-02-24 01:40:51 AM
Just get off your buts.
 
2014-02-24 01:43:44 AM

fusillade762: This will probably end up making you pine for the days when Olestra turned fat into poop.


Olestra was great if you wanted anal sex, your ass would be pre-lubed, just eat a bag of chips a few hours before* and you're good to go.

*underwear may or may not be permanently stained, always carry an extra set of underwear for every 15 minutes you may be away from a toilet. Using a cork will void guarantee of weight loss from eating foods cooked with Olestra.
 
2014-02-24 01:43:50 AM
That old TV sci-fi series "Sliders"  had an episode where they landed on an alternate Earth and this drug had caused  sort of a zombie apocalypse.  The zombies were out for fat, not brains as the drug had metabolised away all their fat and they craved it.
 
2014-02-24 01:43:53 AM
If used properly, it can help tone and contour the body, especially in persistent problem areas like the love handles and upper arms.

No one is suggesting people should use it for weight loss.
 
2014-02-24 01:44:21 AM
It'll turn my fat into urine? But then I'll slosh when I waddle around....
 
2014-02-24 01:47:19 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: If used properly, it can help tone and contour the body, especially in persistent problem areas like the love handles and upper arms.


Yes... because circumventing physiological systems because we're too plumb lazy to move a little has always worked out so well for us....
 
2014-02-24 01:47:58 AM

PsychoTherapist: Jesus. Lois McMaster Bujold knew or predicted this in A CIVIL CAMPAIGN. Anyone else remember that?


I was always more jealous of the magic "never again have to shave" treatment.
 
2014-02-24 01:52:24 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: AverageAmericanGuy: If used properly, it can help tone and contour the body, especially in persistent problem areas like the love handles and upper arms.

Yes... because circumventing physiological systems because we're too plumb lazy to move a little has always worked out so well for us....


I present you: eye glasses.
 
2014-02-24 01:53:03 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: AverageAmericanGuy: If used properly, it can help tone and contour the body, especially in persistent problem areas like the love handles and upper arms.

Yes... because circumventing physiological systems because we're too plumb lazy to move a little has always worked out so well for us....


Personally I find it's more of a matter of money.

A gym membership requires not only about 150 a month, all told (fees+travel+gear) but also the time and energy each day to exercise.

When you're at a desk for hours on end, you get emotionally and physically exhausted. And when you're in some shiat jorb, like telemarketing, it's that plus you're poor. So even if you have time to move, you don't have the energy or desire.

If there was a pill that could just fix everything while you slept, it would be great.
 
2014-02-24 01:53:38 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: I present you: eye glasses.


Totally the same thing.
 
2014-02-24 01:57:18 AM

doglover: nulluspixiusdemonica: AverageAmericanGuy: If used properly, it can help tone and contour the body, especially in persistent problem areas like the love handles and upper arms.

Yes... because circumventing physiological systems because we're too plumb lazy to move a little has always worked out so well for us....

Personally I find it's more of a matter of money.

A gym membership requires not only about 150 a month, all told (fees+travel+gear) but also the time and energy each day to exercise.

When you're at a desk for hours on end, you get emotionally and physically exhausted. And when you're in some shiat jorb, like telemarketing, it's that plus you're poor. So even if you have time to move, you don't have the energy or desire.

If there was a pill that could just fix everything while you slept, it would be great.


そういえば、I got a 2 month gift certificate to a fancy gym here in Ebisu and have been going for the last 4 weeks. I've noticed that my stress levels are much lower and I show up at work after my morning workout feeling great and that feeling lasts all day.

But you're right. It does require a substantial time investment to reap the benefits of the gym. I'm up at 5:30 and a typical workout + sauna and hot tub takes about 2 hours of my morning up.

A shot in the love handles to reduce some of this excess fat would be appreciated, definitely.
 
2014-02-24 01:57:42 AM
doglover:A gym membership requires not only about 150 a month, all told (fees+travel+gear) but also the time and energy each day to exercise.

You don't need a gym membership

The 30-40 minutes/day can be spent on the idiot-box or burning off pent-up aggression/stress and losing a few pounds...

Extra energy is, surprisingly enough, one of the benefits of exercise...
 
2014-02-24 02:04:38 AM

sbutler: Let's get this out of the way.

[uofi.box.com image 418x239]


Damn you, doing it anyway:
media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-24 02:10:01 AM
I thought that Dr. Who episode was horrible.  I couldn't suspend my disbelief no matter how hard I tried.
 
2014-02-24 02:16:42 AM

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: sbutler: Let's get this out of the way.

[uofi.box.com image 418x239]

Damn you, doing it anyway:
[media.tumblr.com image 500x250]


I'll admit, yours is cuter.
 
2014-02-24 02:16:59 AM
slimshealth.com
 
2014-02-24 02:33:35 AM

Aulus: That old TV sci-fi series "Sliders"  had an episode where they landed on an alternate Earth and this drug had caused  sort of a zombie apocalypse.  The zombies were out for fat, not brains as the drug had metabolised away all their fat and they craved it.


i think one of the older "freak of the week" episodes of Smallville had that premise, too. I think it was called Hunger, appropriately enough
 
2014-02-24 02:48:16 AM

doglover: nulluspixiusdemonica: AverageAmericanGuy: If used properly, it can help tone and contour the body, especially in persistent problem areas like the love handles and upper arms.

Yes... because circumventing physiological systems because we're too plumb lazy to move a little has always worked out so well for us....

Personally I find it's more of a matter of money.

A gym membership requires not only about 150 a month, all told (fees+travel+gear) but also the time and energy each day to exercise.

When you're at a desk for hours on end, you get emotionally and physically exhausted. And when you're in some shiat jorb, like telemarketing, it's that plus you're poor. So even if you have time to move, you don't have the energy or desire.

If there was a pill that could just fix everything while you slept, it would be great.


cdn.citywirecontent.co.uk
 
2014-02-24 03:03:56 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: そういえば、I got a 2 month gift certificate to a fancy gym here in Ebisu and have been going for the last 4 weeks. I've noticed that my stress levels are much lower and I show up at work after my morning workout feeling great and that feeling lasts all day.

But you're right. It does require a substantial time investment to reap the benefits of the gym. I'm up at 5:30 and a typical workout + sauna and hot tub takes about 2 hours of my morning up.

A shot in the love handles to reduce some of this excess fat would be appreciated, definitely.


First, please accept my abundant jealous Internet hate for your living in Japan, which I have longed to do again since leaving there when I was 10. May your many impending misfortunes be happy and lasting, reflective of my own continual failure and unworthiness!  :: Bows deeply ::

Also, if I may put forth a wee hypothesis: Could your state of comfort and energy throughout the workday possibly be due to the sauna and hot tub, rather than the workout?  Just sayin'.
 
2014-02-24 03:05:21 AM

Grotesk: AverageAmericanGuy: そういえば、I got a 2 month gift certificate to a fancy gym here in Ebisu and have been going for the last 4 weeks. I've noticed that my stress levels are much lower and I show up at work after my morning workout feeling great and that feeling lasts all day.

But you're right. It does require a substantial time investment to reap the benefits of the gym. I'm up at 5:30 and a typical workout + sauna and hot tub takes about 2 hours of my morning up.

A shot in the love handles to reduce some of this excess fat would be appreciated, definitely.

First, please accept my abundant jealous Internet hate for your living in Japan, which I have longed to do again since leaving there when I was 10. May your many impending misfortunes be happy and lasting, reflective of my own continual failure and unworthiness!  :: Bows deeply ::

Also, if I may put forth a wee hypothesis: Could your state of comfort and energy throughout the workday possibly be due to the sauna and hot tub, rather than the workout?  Just sayin'.


It could be, but how am I going to pick up strange men if they don't see me sweating it out in the weight room?
 
2014-02-24 03:07:02 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: burning off pent-up aggression/stress


Jogging/walking with no destination is the most stressful activity in life. I'd rather be in a literal tiger pit. At least not being eaten is a thing with purpose.
 
2014-02-24 03:14:29 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: I'm up at 5:30


I work from 8AM to 11PM often. At least three times a week, sometimes five.

I also live alone. So I have to do my own laundry/ cooking/ everything.

So, even if I woke up IN THE GYM at 5:30 in the morning, I couldn't possibly have 2 hours' to work out, soak, and change. Even if I did, I couldn't use them for that.

Although this week I'm much less working during the day. So I'll be out walking pretty much every day, because I do like walking. It's treadmills I hate. And cilantro. And white wine. And skinny people who don't exercise. And used condoms on the street. And yappy dogs. And cat people. And taxes. And Texas. And cheese that's not an identifiable strain. And sweet food. And that Mr Popo is blue in America. And Equestria Girls having a sequel. And pretty much every lawyer on earth. And tomatoes in "grilled cheese". And square cut pizza. And stuff. And things. And that too, but not that.
 
2014-02-24 03:17:34 AM

doglover: Jogging/walking with no destination is the most stressful activity in life.


I put it to you that, If that stresses you out, you don't actually know what stress is.
 
2014-02-24 03:25:55 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: doglover: Jogging/walking with no destination is the most stressful activity in life.

I put it to you that, If that stresses you out, you don't actually know what stress is.


You don't understand. Being shot at or other mortal peril is highly arousing but over quickly. You've got fear, adrenaline, cortisol rushing through you. Duck, cover, run. And, if you live, that's just farking awesome. The times I didn't die are my favorite in all life.

The daily grind is glacial. So it wins hands down, but each individual bit comes slowly. So it's straw after bloody straw, and that will kill you eventually, but not yet.

But wasting your time and energy? That becomes an existential problem for me quite quickly. Then, when you're walking alone in a circle about 5 km across, you have a LOT of time to think about things. And mostly what you think is "What am I doing with my life just walking in a big circle?" At least sitting at home and stuffing your craw numbs the mind and soothes the stress away. Jogging is as bad as walking, but it strains your knees and takes your breath away. Then hobos rape you.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2014-02-24 03:28:15 AM
img.fark.net

I remember these.  My sister used them and I used to have one everyone once in awhile.
The crappiest tasting chocolate flavored candy EVAR!
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-02-24 03:35:09 AM

NFA: [img.fark.net image 500x375]

I remember these.  My sister used them and I used to have one everyone once in awhile.
The crappiest tasting chocolate flavored candy EVAR!


"butterscotch fudge type"
 
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