Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Hey kiddies, maybe it's time to ask one of the olds about Duck and Cover   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 116
    More: Scary, Yulia Tymoshenko, William Hague, Europe, Ukraine, Russia, United States, Viktor Yanukovych, Ducks  
•       •       •

14900 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2014 at 3:18 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



116 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-24 01:42:41 AM  
Hide under your desks.  This will also protect you against lava.
 
2014-02-24 03:19:28 AM  
None of those missiles even work anymore. Don't worry your pretty little head about it.
 
2014-02-24 03:21:19 AM  
Duck and Cover?


ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-02-24 03:23:41 AM  

worlddan: Duck and Cover?


Nice one.
 
2014-02-24 03:24:17 AM  

Mentat: Hide under your desks.  This will also protect you against lava.


You stand on the couch to avoid lava.
 
2014-02-24 03:25:16 AM  
I expect Russia to try to get involved in the Eastern Ukraine.  They'll use their standard excuse of "protecting ethnic Russians", see "Georgia" for a fairly recent example.  If they are successful, expect the Ukraine to be split in two.  However, I don't expect them to have as easy a time in the Ukraine as they did in Georgia.  Hopefully, the Ukraine military is not blind to this threat and fattens up their eastern defenses.  Russia has historically considered bordering countries as their property.  Not their allies.  Their farking property.  They have zero regard for the sovereignty of those countries.
 
2014-02-24 03:31:33 AM  
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-24 03:35:45 AM  
 
2014-02-24 03:44:45 AM  
I really don't see Russia moving in.  If Putin wanted to do so, he would have used an invitation by the now deposed leader to assist in putting down a terrorist uprising in Kiev and elsewhere last week while the Olympics were still keeping the world distracted.  Putin is just going to use the economic tools at his disposal to put the screws to the Ukraine and hopefully have the new leadership come begging for relief.  Russia is the Ukraine's biggest trading partner and energy supplier and Ukraine can't last long without Russian subsidies and trade.

The EU is in no condition to offer the generous subsidies Russia was providing or inclined to offer much assistance to another troubled country on the perimeter of the EU when they still have Greece, Portugal, Cyprus, Spain, Italy, and others in economic trouble with debt and employment issues. When aid fails to materialize and Russia offers to reinstate some assistance for some considerations to Russian leaning areas, this new Ukraine government might start drifting back into Russia's sphere of influence.  After all, Russia doesn't care who is running things as long as they don't stray to far from Russia's sphere.  This unrest was less about Russia and the EU and more about a corrupt leader overreaching and trying to secure power that was slipping away.
 
2014-02-24 03:45:19 AM  

It would be quite wise to refrain
From sending shock troops to Ukraine
Or so says Obama
But Putin craves drama:
"How you say? 'No pain and no gain'!"

 
2014-02-24 03:45:27 AM  
I expect something more like ethnic Ukranian death squads terrorizing ethnic Russian villages. By the end of August. Russia will use this as pretence to send tanks in, and death tolls in the tens of thousands minimum.
 
2014-02-24 03:50:00 AM  
I know that Russian-Georgian war was only in 2008, but from what I'm reading on wikipedia, the Georgian government did strike first, prompting the Russian response.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russia%E2%80%93Georgia_war

I know from all the Tom Clancy books I've read that the Russians are bad and all, but would they really try to intervene in Ukraine without a half-decent excuse?
 
2014-02-24 03:50:11 AM  
Sochi is practically next door to the southern tip of the country.
Putin's probably waiting for the Olympics to end, and all those inconvenient foreign TV cameras to go away.
 
2014-02-24 03:52:44 AM  
*grabs pop corn*

last six months worth of events, makes the Cuban missile crisis look like a cake walk...
 
2014-02-24 03:55:13 AM  
I remember thinking my dad was very irresponsible for refusing to build us a fallout shelter in the back yard. It was a weird time to grow up.
 
2014-02-24 03:58:50 AM  

BMulligan: I remember thinking my dad was very irresponsible for refusing to build us a fallout shelter in the back yard. It was a weird time to grow up.


Have you ever considered how crappy it would be to survive a nuclear strike? I wonder if that's what your dad was thinking.
 
2014-02-24 03:59:23 AM  
They were talking to a Russian about the cold war during the Olympics coverage and the Russian said "Why hide under desk? When bomb come you die."
 
2014-02-24 03:59:34 AM  
No need to ask. We have Urban Dictionary now.


"i became dizzy after i performed a duck and cover on my girl last night"
 
2014-02-24 04:00:01 AM  
Has Russia made any such threat? It's just a question posed to Rice by a TV channel. It's not a likely scenario that the government has to deal with, nor is this an official government response, or warning. It's Condaleeza Rice's thoughts.

Seems to me this is what the Daily Mail (and most other news media) is up to.
 
2014-02-24 04:04:09 AM  
Oh fark I'm an idiot, I saw "Rice" and assumed Condi :$ my bad!
 
2014-02-24 04:04:14 AM  

Slaxl: Has Russia made any such threat? It's just a question posed to Rice by a TV channel. It's not a likely scenario that the government has to deal with, nor is this an official government response, or warning. It's Condaleeza Rice's thoughts.

Seems to me this is what the Daily Mail (and most other news media) is up to.


After Georgia and Syria, it's not outside the realm of possibilities.
 
2014-02-24 04:04:40 AM  
I want see Condi and Susan Rice wrestle in jello for some odd reason.
 
2014-02-24 04:04:47 AM  

mraudacia: *grabs pop corn*

last six months worth of events, makes the Cuban missile crisis look like a cake walk...


...this makes coming a hair's breadth away from an all out nuclear war, and thus the extinction of most life on earth look like a cakewalk?

/Sure it's gone on for longer, but the stakes haven't been nearly as high
 
2014-02-24 04:04:58 AM  
Yeah but Russian Mafia want peace too.

Of Ukraine. Big chunk, actually, if not the whole thing.
 
2014-02-24 04:07:24 AM  

Cerebral Ballsy: BMulligan: I remember thinking my dad was very irresponsible for refusing to build us a fallout shelter in the back yard. It was a weird time to grow up.

Have you ever considered how crappy it would be to survive a nuclear strike? I wonder if that's what your dad was thinking.


Yes I have, in the years since then, and you're right - it would be a horrible waste of time, money, and effort. But I think my dad was actually thinking that he'd rather just finish the basement and get a cool pool table, which is what he did.
 
2014-02-24 04:07:55 AM  
So Putin wants to get WW3 started? LETS DO THIS!
 
2014-02-24 04:08:32 AM  

BMulligan: Cerebral Ballsy: BMulligan: I remember thinking my dad was very irresponsible for refusing to build us a fallout shelter in the back yard. It was a weird time to grow up.

Have you ever considered how crappy it would be to survive a nuclear strike? I wonder if that's what your dad was thinking.

Yes I have, in the years since then, and you're right - it would be a horrible waste of time, money, and effort. But I think my dad was actually thinking that he'd rather just finish the basement and get a cool pool table, which is what he did.


That makes me want to go looking for my copy of "The Nightfly."
 
2014-02-24 04:09:18 AM  
/Brrrrooo-beck
 
2014-02-24 04:15:55 AM  
Well if Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States, he'll have Palin to deal with.
 
2014-02-24 04:16:31 AM  

whidbey: BMulligan: Cerebral Ballsy: BMulligan: I remember thinking my dad was very irresponsible for refusing to build us a fallout shelter in the back yard. It was a weird time to grow up.

Have you ever considered how crappy it would be to survive a nuclear strike? I wonder if that's what your dad was thinking.

Yes I have, in the years since then, and you're right - it would be a horrible waste of time, money, and effort. But I think my dad was actually thinking that he'd rather just finish the basement and get a cool pool table, which is what he did.

That makes me want to go looking for my copy of "The Nightfly."


Any reason's a good reason for that.
 
2014-02-24 04:29:06 AM  
Bob Corker, the top Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, added in a statement: 'The United States should do everything possible to ensure Ukraine remains one country and that their territorial and political integrity is maintained, allowing them the freedom to choose a future within Europe.'

We enjoy so much freedom, it's almost sickening. We're free to chose which hand our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in. And if we don't want to pay our taxes, why, we're free to spend a week with the Pain Monster.
 
2014-02-24 04:30:45 AM  
I've played a lot of Twilight 2000 so I've got it covered
 
2014-02-24 04:47:27 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
/got nothin'
 
2014-02-24 04:52:47 AM  

Daedalus27: I really don't see Russia moving in.  If Putin wanted to do so, he would have used an invitation by the now deposed leader to assist in putting down a terrorist uprising in Kiev and elsewhere last week while the Olympics were still keeping the world distracted.  Putin is just going to use the economic tools at his disposal to put the screws to the Ukraine and hopefully have the new leadership come begging for relief.  Russia is the Ukraine's biggest trading partner and energy supplier and Ukraine can't last long without Russian subsidies and trade.

The EU is in no condition to offer the generous subsidies Russia was providing or inclined to offer much assistance to another troubled country on the perimeter of the EU when they still have Greece, Portugal, Cyprus, Spain, Italy, and others in economic trouble with debt and employment issues. When aid fails to materialize and Russia offers to reinstate some assistance for some considerations to Russian leaning areas, this new Ukraine government might start drifting back into Russia's sphere of influence.  After all, Russia doesn't care who is running things as long as they don't stray to far from Russia's sphere.  This unrest was less about Russia and the EU and more about a corrupt leader overreaching and trying to secure power that was slipping away.


Running other countries by economic proxy makes a lot more sense that the old fashioned Soviet-style empire-building. All the real rewards, fewer risks and costs.
 
2014-02-24 05:03:38 AM  
 
2014-02-24 05:11:44 AM  

Cerebral Ballsy: BMulligan: I remember thinking my dad was very irresponsible for refusing to build us a fallout shelter in the back yard. It was a weird time to grow up.

Have you ever considered how crappy it would be to survive a nuclear strike? I wonder if that's what your dad was thinking.


If you had a decent supply of food and water, and a hot sister, things might be okay for a while.
 
2014-02-24 05:17:04 AM  
Yeah you shoulda been around for that!

There Was a time when we all thought we were gonna kiss our little asses Goodbye.

from "The Hunt for Red October" :

"When I was 12, I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida."

Yeah Tom Clancy remembered that, he was my age and from my Town!
 
2014-02-24 05:23:28 AM  
*yawn* who cares about all this, can't we get some more info about Yevgenia Tymoshenko?

/maybe I'm jaded, but seriously someone is freaking out every other week about some other country
 
2014-02-24 05:36:55 AM  
It's in the best interest of the USA to stay the fark out of it.
 
2014-02-24 06:14:16 AM  
That "article" has 15 sentences and 25 pictures. The captions were repeating the sentences from the article.

/WTF am I reading?
 
2014-02-24 06:42:24 AM  

spamdog: I know that Russian-Georgian war was only in 2008, but from what I'm reading on wikipedia, the Georgian government did strike first, prompting the Russian response.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russia%E2%80%93Georgia_war

I know from all the Tom Clancy books I've read that the Russians are bad and all, but would they really try to intervene in Ukraine without a half-decent excuse?


From the Wiki article about the Russia-Georgia War:

The Russian communication systems used were obsolete, resulting in one case where the commander of the 58th army was reported to have communicated with his forces in the midst of combat via a satellite phone borrowed from a journalist.

A total of three Russian aircraft were shot down during the war, and Georgian air defenses were only driven off or destroyed by ground attacks, as the air force was unable to suppress them. The Russian Air Force was never able to fully stop aerial attacks by the Georgian Air Force, which was still flying sorties against Russian troops on August 11. The RIA Novosti editorial also stated that Russian Su-25 ground attack jets still lacked radar sights, computers for calculating ground-target coordinates and long-range air-to-surface missiles that could be launched outside enemy air-defense areas. Opposition affiliated Russian analyst  Konstantin Makienko pointed out the poor performance of the Russian Air Force: "It is totally unbelievable that the Russian Air Force was unable to establish air superiority almost to the end of the five-day war, despite the fact that the enemy had no fighter aviation."

According to Georgian refugees, these servicemen showed little discipline or respect for the laws of war. Much of the ground fighting was carried out by Russian Airborne Troops, who could not be airlifted behind Georgian lines due to the Russian Air Force's inability to suppress Georgian air defenses. The 58th's Army's advance column, led by General Anatoly Khrulyov, ran directly into a Georgian ambush as it entered South Ossetia on 9 August, due to poor intelligence. Only five of the thirty vehicles in the convoy survived, and the column took heavy casualties, including General Khrulyov himself, who was wounded in the leg. Many Russian ground units were insufficiently supplied with ammunition, which led to additional losses.


There was some praise on the Russian navy's performance and improvement of the performance of ground forces since the Chechen Wars, but how capable is Russia's military? Ukraine is a lot larger and more populated than Georgia, but Russia could count on a certain amount of support from the population. I think it would take time for the US to move in forces to the area so European members of NATO will have to be the first to respond. Are they up for the challenge? Anyway, I doubt it would turn into a shooting war. If anything, worst case is the Russians move in and establish a line and dare NATO to attack which they most likely won't.
 
2014-02-24 06:47:11 AM  
Why is this even America's problem? Let Europe sort it out for once.
 
2014-02-24 06:49:25 AM  

Krymson Tyde: It's in the best interest of the USA to stay the fark out of it.




Its also in the interest of Russia to stay the FARK out of Ukraine, cause its the EU that will probably pull the trigger if things get out of hand.

/They stand the most to gain or lose from this mess.
/The US standing with the EU will stabilize things, because it raises the price of involvement beyond what Russia is willing to pay.
 
2014-02-24 06:55:24 AM  
Ukrainian parliament voted to oust Mr Yanukovych

What have they got against Weird Al?!
 
2014-02-24 06:57:35 AM  

insertsnarkyusername: I want see Condi and Susan Rice wrestle in jello for some odd reason.


Likes the way you think:

assets-s3.rollingstone.com
 
2014-02-24 06:58:43 AM  

RobSeace: Ukrainian parliament voted to oust Mr Yanukovych

What have they got against Weird Al?!


He's the Boss, the Big Cheese, and he had that nation on it's knobby little knees.
 
2014-02-24 07:11:22 AM  
All that shiny new military hardware has to be good for something.
 
2014-02-24 07:21:08 AM  

Publikwerks: Slaxl: Has Russia made any such threat? It's just a question posed to Rice by a TV channel. It's not a likely scenario that the government has to deal with, nor is this an official government response, or warning. It's Condaleeza Rice's thoughts.

Seems to me this is what the Daily Mail (and most other news media) is up to.

After Georgia and Syria, it's not outside the realm of possibilities.


A Russian intervention would only occur if an ethnic Russian regional government is formed in eastern-Ukraine, and this is then attacked by the Ukrainian army. At that point Russia would be morally justified in protecting ethnic Russians actively being attacked and oppressed. That also means that with that moral justification, Ukraine would be in the wrong, not Russia, thus no global ramifications.

When I'm talking about potential oppression, this is in the light of the fact that the former PM, asshat as he might be, was actually democratically elected. The ones that violated the EU brokered deal, was the opposition, not the democratically elected PM.
 
2014-02-24 07:30:16 AM  

insertsnarkyusername: I want see Condi and Susan Rice wrestle in jello for some odd reason.


If that's "odd", I don't want to be normal...
 
2014-02-24 07:34:09 AM  

albatros183: I've played a lot of Twilight 2000 so I've got it covered


Team Edward?

/sorry about that...
 
2014-02-24 07:35:01 AM  

TerminalEchoes: Why is this even America's problem? Let Europe sort it out for once.


This.  Another land war in Asia would be GREAT for my portfolio.  Not so good for the country, though...
 
2014-02-24 07:35:55 AM  

TerminalEchoes: Why is this even America's problem? Let Europe sort it out for once.


trilateral statement January 14, 1994

Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurances

United States-Ukraine Charter on Strategic Partnership

START treaty

In short, after the fall of the wall Ukraine agreed to surrender its nuclear arsenal for dismantlement, and sign the non-proliferation treaty as a non-nuclear state.  In exchange for this, a coalition of the US, UK, and Russia would promise not to violate the sovereignty of, invade, or economically coerce Ukraine, and to protect them from these threats.

/And there are probably other defense agreements between the US and Ukraine that I'm not aware of
//They've also been a candidate for admission to NATO for some time now, and likely will be again now that Yanukovych is gone
 
2014-02-24 07:46:18 AM  

OhioUGrad: *yawn* who cares about all this, can't we get some more info about Yevgenia Tymoshenko?

/maybe I'm jaded, but seriously someone is freaking out every other week about some other country


img.rasset.ie

I hope she's ok. Might be worth risking the danger of the war zone to give her a thorough examination to make sure.
 
2014-02-24 07:47:06 AM  

insertsnarkyusername: I want see Condi and Susan Rice wrestle in jello for some odd reason.


I'd like to see them wrestle..In rice..WHITE rice...
 
2014-02-24 07:48:20 AM  

spamdog: I know that Russian-Georgian war was only in 2008, but from what I'm reading on wikipedia, the Georgian government did strike first, prompting the Russian response.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russia%E2%80%93Georgia_war

I know from all the Tom Clancy books I've read that the Russians are bad and all, but would they really try to intervene in Ukraine without a half-decent excuse?


Depends on your definition of "striking first."  South Ossetia and Abkhazia* were Georgian states in all-but open revolt.

Long before the 2008 "war" the local Ossetians were given Russian citizenship en masse for being "ethnically Russian" (basically a made-up reason).  This was a diplomatic excuse for Russia to roll tanks and fighters and intelligence operatives into South Ossetia and immediately start protecting and assisting the Ossetians in their many raids and terrorist attacks against targets inside of the main Georgian state.  Every time police or Georgian military tried to catch the guerillas from Ossetia, the Ossetians would run and hide behind the Russians.

Finally, Georgian leadership was desperate enough and doing badly enough in the polls (because of this) that they said, "fark it, roll in, maybe Russia will back off or at least the world will notice our country has been occupied by a foreign army."  The rest you already know.  Georgia got stomped, NATO hemmed and hawed, and the local Ossetians murdered every Georgian they could get their hands on.  But it's cool because maybe some of them were oppressed by Georgians previously so Russia was totally okay when they rolled in and slaughtered innocents and looted and pillaged.

Now there was no clear "good" solution, Georgia's a shiathole full of white people being racist against other white people.  I don't know how that works since we all look the same, but whatever.  But Putin still pulled an Iraq.

*Just going to refer to the Ossetians for brevity
 
2014-02-24 07:58:01 AM  

TheBigJerk: Now there was no clear "good" solution, Georgia's a shiathole full of white people being racist against other white people. I don't know how that works since we all look the same, but whatever. But Putin still pulled an Iraq.


Sneaky Russians! Good summary, thanks. Sounds like there could be legitimate cause for alarm.
 
2014-02-24 07:58:22 AM  

Daedalus27: I really don't see Russia moving in.  If Putin wanted to do so, he would have used an invitation by the now deposed leader to assist in putting down a terrorist uprising in Kiev and elsewhere last week while the Olympics were still keeping the world distracted.


Yannie probably wouldn't have done so.  The man is Russia's proxy the same way Ted Haggard is a homosexual.  He surely loves the cock, but he spends an inordinate amount of time and effort denying it.
 
2014-02-24 07:59:46 AM  

mike_d85: That "article" has 15 sentences and 25 pictures. The captions were repeating the sentences from the article.

/WTF am I reading?


your first time reading a daily mail article?
 
2014-02-24 08:10:45 AM  

spamdog: TheBigJerk: Now there was no clear "good" solution, Georgia's a shiathole full of white people being racist against other white people. I don't know how that works since we all look the same, but whatever. But Putin still pulled an Iraq.

Sneaky Russians! Good summary, thanks. Sounds like there could be legitimate cause for alarm.


Could be, but they didn't lay those kinds of foundations here.  I think Russia will just play it like they did during the Orange Revolution, let the fires die down and then start making devil's deals to the next major player.

Because as I have heard it, Ukraine is mostly rival squabbling tribes, and while a 60-70% majority will vote AGAINST someone like Viktor Y. they will not unite their vote FOR any of the OTHER motherfarkers running.  Basically like our Congress' 10% approval rating, "Congress is corrupt and terrible, except for my guy/gal.  My congresscritter is cool and my earmarks are deserved."

But something something vigilance something price of freedom.  Russia is happy to go imperial all over anything left unattended.
 
2014-02-24 08:15:38 AM  

Mentat: Hide under your desks.  This will also protect you against lava.


They were called "tornado drills" when I was in elementary school (early '90's).

/Florida
 
2014-02-24 08:18:39 AM  
FTFA: "Opposition politician captured kissing daughter Yevgenia upon her arrival to Kiev's iconic Independence Square."
Did no one else notice this hot bit of incest action?
 
2014-02-24 08:20:37 AM  
So those Ukrainians who have Russian backgrounds, and speak Russian. Do they really see themselves as Russian in any way? Or are they full on 100% committed to being Ukrainian? Do the pro-Euro Ukrainians have any similar divisions?
 
2014-02-24 08:36:14 AM  
Lovely. We threaten Russia the same day that the Defense Dept. announces huge cuts.
 
2014-02-24 08:41:23 AM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Lovely. We threaten Russia the same day that the Defense Dept. announces huge cuts.


Oh no! Now we can only beat Russia 4x instead of 6x.
 
2014-02-24 08:46:18 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: insertsnarkyusername: I want see Condi and Susan Rice wrestle in jello for some odd reason.

I'd like to see them wrestle..In rice..WHITE rice...


Dry or cooked?
 
2014-02-24 08:47:00 AM  
I was a kid in a Florida elementary school during the Cuban Missile Crisis.  In addition to the duck and cover drills, we were instructed not to look at the flash from the nuclear blast.  Avert our gaze or close our eyes to preserve our vision, so we could watch what happened next (however briefly), I suppose.

When people started digging up their backyards for shelters (like survivalists still do), my old man scoffed and said if the nukes started flying, he wanted to be at ground zero for the first strike.
 
2014-02-24 08:49:27 AM  
Putin had to wait until the Olympics were over.

Now we'll see if the tanks roll or not.
 
2014-02-24 08:51:48 AM  

mraudacia: *grabs pop corn*

last six months worth of events, makes the Cuban missile crisis look like a cake walk...


Were you alive during the Cuban Missile Crisis?  I was, but, I don't think you were. Do a little more reading on the subject. We haven't got to the Soviet/US navies facing off part yet.  We haven't got to the US ground forces beginning to mobilize part yet. We have got to the US Air Force patrolling hostile air space yet.  You really don't know what you're talking about.
 
2014-02-24 08:57:12 AM  
Putin will do whatever he wants and Obama will do nothing.
Putin knows this.
 
2014-02-24 08:59:46 AM  

Jyster: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]
/got nothin'


Yep. Wouldn't want to be caught snacking during armageddon.
Then there's the "Never Look at the Nuclear Blast."
Because you certainly wouldn't want to go through the slow post-apocalyptic death spiral with fried retinas.
 
2014-02-24 08:59:46 AM  

TheBigJerk: Could be, but they didn't lay those kinds of foundations here.  I think Russia will just play it like they did during the Orange Revolution, let the fires die down and then start making devil's deals to the next major player.


And why shouldn't they? Russian culture - and Putin in particular - values pragmatic assessment over emotional response, in a way that's foreign to Western folks. Ukraine's a breadbasket, and as long as deals are mutually beneficial, they will continue to occur.
 
2014-02-24 09:01:57 AM  

PunGent: TerminalEchoes: Why is this even America's problem? Let Europe sort it out for once.

This.  Another land war in Asia would be GREAT for my portfolio.  Not so good for the country, though...


You know everything West of the Urals is still considered Europe, don't you?  Obviously, not.
 
2014-02-24 09:11:49 AM  
Simmer down, trouble-britches. If it can't be fixed with drones or a SEAL team, Obama will just send a strongly worded letter.  Obama's not a wartime consigliere.
 
2014-02-24 09:12:00 AM  

Jyster: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]
/got nothin'


"Food is not permitted to be eaten..."  Passive-agressive sentence structure detected.
 
2014-02-24 09:17:37 AM  
When St. Reagan was president, he settled all this nonsense by sending Rocky over there to fight Ivan Drago.  Obama is grossly underutilizing our Stallone-based diplomatic options.
 
2014-02-24 09:21:16 AM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Putin will do whatever he wants and Obama will do nothing.
Putin knows this.


Well it's a good thing that there are no other interests involved in this mess then.  Like the Poles and the Romanians and the Germans, for example.
 
2014-02-24 09:29:05 AM  

imontheinternet: When St. Reagan was president, he settled all this nonsense by sending Rocky over there to fight Ivan Drago.  Obama is grossly underutilizing our Stallone-based diplomatic options.


Sending a guy who uses a walker is not that intimidating.
 
2014-02-24 09:32:43 AM  

DanInKansas: Simmer down, trouble-britches. If it can't be fixed with drones or a SEAL team, Obama will just send a strongly worded letter.  Obama's not a wartime consigliere.


You forgot Obama's stern look  It's equivalent to sending the 82nd Airborne to the trouble area.  Putin would rather wrestle two bears at the same time, than get the look.
 
2014-02-24 09:39:31 AM  
A strongly worded letter and a line in the sand that keeps moving will put the fear into the Ruskies.  Make sure to use a few more exclamation points to Oobama!!!!!
 
2014-02-24 09:41:17 AM  

zimbomba63: DanInKansas: Simmer down, trouble-britches. If it can't be fixed with drones or a SEAL team, Obama will just send a strongly worded letter.  Obama's not a wartime consigliere.

You forgot Obama's stern look  It's equivalent to sending the 82nd Airborne to the trouble area.  Putin would rather wrestle two bears at the same time, than get the look.


It's almost as if we prematurely shot our military wad during the previous administration.
 
2014-02-24 09:45:40 AM  

OhioUGrad: *yawn* who cares about all this, can't we get some more info about Yevgenia Tymoshenko?

/maybe I'm jaded, but seriously someone is freaking out every other week about some other country


I'd rather have more info about her daughter:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-24 09:45:46 AM  

Mean Daddy: A strongly worded letter and a line in the sand that keeps moving will put the fear into the Ruskies.  Make sure to use a few more exclamation points to Oobama!!!!!


What should Obama do?
 
2014-02-24 09:48:03 AM  

Mean Daddy: A strongly worded letter and a line in the sand that keeps moving will put the fear into the Ruskies.  Make sure to use a few more exclamation points to Oobama!!!!!


I wonder if the State Department would let him use all capital letters in the message, because that would show that he really means it, this time.  Plus, a really big stick for the line in the sand drawing, like a broom handle.
 
2014-02-24 09:49:11 AM  

Almost Everybody Poops: OhioUGrad: *yawn* who cares about all this, can't we get some more info about Yevgenia Tymoshenko?

/maybe I'm jaded, but seriously someone is freaking out every other week about some other country

I'd rather have more info about her daughter:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 451x463]


Slightly lazy eye == Evil. Pure evil.

/in the sack
 
2014-02-24 09:49:13 AM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Lovely. We threaten Russia the same day that the Defense Dept. announces huge cuts.


Defense cuts totally happen immediately. We probably sent like 5 generals home and just shut a Carrier Air Group off like a Blockbuster.
 
2014-02-24 09:51:41 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

Is that a pellet gun?
 
2014-02-24 09:52:27 AM  
There is no world event that happens that doesn't end with a large portion of Fark fretting loudly and stupidly that this is the end.
 
2014-02-24 09:57:55 AM  

amindtat: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 850x577]

Is that a pellet gun?


Either that or a .22 but I think I've seen pellet guns like that.

It'll kill a chipmunk but not a squirrel.
 
2014-02-24 10:01:21 AM  

BSABSVR: There is no world event that happens that doesn't end with a large portion of Fark fretting loudly and stupidly that this is the end.


I can see them now, hopping around Ed Grimley-style, "I just know there's going to be a nuclear war and I didn't bring my galoshes, like mother told me!"
 
2014-02-24 10:08:01 AM  
WE ARE THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS, SHEEPLE!! WAKE UP!
 
2014-02-24 10:18:58 AM  

Mentat: Hide under your desks.  This will also protect you against lava.


This is why we have a generation of pants-wetting Republicans today who can't go out of the house unless they're armed to the teeth.
 
2014-02-24 10:28:37 AM  

Daedalus27: I really don't see Russia moving in.  If Putin wanted to do so, he would have used an invitation by the now deposed leader to assist in putting down a terrorist uprising in Kiev and elsewhere last week while the Olympics were still keeping the world distracted.  Putin is just going to use the economic tools at his disposal to put the screws to the Ukraine and hopefully have the new leadership come begging for relief.  Russia is the Ukraine's biggest trading partner and energy supplier and Ukraine can't last long without Russian subsidies and trade.

The EU is in no condition to offer the generous subsidies Russia was providing or inclined to offer much assistance to another troubled country on the perimeter of the EU when they still have Greece, Portugal, Cyprus, Spain, Italy, and others in economic trouble with debt and employment issues. When aid fails to materialize and Russia offers to reinstate some assistance for some considerations to Russian leaning areas, this new Ukraine government might start drifting back into Russia's sphere of influence.  After all, Russia doesn't care who is running things as long as they don't stray to far from Russia's sphere.  This unrest was less about Russia and the EU and more about a corrupt leader overreaching and trying to secure power that was slipping away.


Yep, this.
 
2014-02-24 10:31:44 AM  

illannoyin: OhioUGrad: *yawn* who cares about all this, can't we get some more info about Yevgenia Tymoshenko?

/maybe I'm jaded, but seriously someone is freaking out every other week about some other country

[img.rasset.ie image 300x168]

I hope she's ok. Might be worth risking the danger of the war zone to give her a thorough examination to make sure.


is that the daughter from the pictures?
 
2014-02-24 10:34:14 AM  

Almost Everybody Poops: OhioUGrad: *yawn* who cares about all this, can't we get some more info about Yevgenia Tymoshenko?

/maybe I'm jaded, but seriously someone is freaking out every other week about some other country

I'd rather have more info about her daughter:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 451x463]


I was just going off of the caption on one of the pictures and I was under the impression that the name I posted was the name of the daughter (altough she has brown hair in the photos)
 
F42
2014-02-24 10:38:20 AM  
There would have been a lot fewer injured russians if they'd ducked and covered when they saw that meteor's bright flash last year. Shockwave blew up the windows. Duck, and cover. "Attaboy, Tony!"
 
2014-02-24 11:23:02 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

It Moved.
 
2014-02-24 11:35:43 AM  
 
2014-02-24 11:43:33 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: Reading this right now...


I haven't read hos books in years.  I thought Russia joined NATO in one of his previous books.
 
2014-02-24 11:53:26 AM  

TheBigJerk: spamdog: I know that Russian-Georgian war was only in 2008, but from what I'm reading on wikipedia, the Georgian government did strike first, prompting the Russian response.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russia%E2%80%93Georgia_war

I know from all the Tom Clancy books I've read that the Russians are bad and all, but would they really try to intervene in Ukraine without a half-decent excuse?

Depends on your definition of "striking first."  South Ossetia and Abkhazia* were Georgian states in all-but open revolt.

Long before the 2008 "war" the local Ossetians were given Russian citizenship en masse for being "ethnically Russian" (basically a made-up reason).  This was a diplomatic excuse for Russia to roll tanks and fighters and intelligence operatives into South Ossetia and immediately start protecting and assisting the Ossetians in their many raids and terrorist attacks against targets inside of the main Georgian state.  Every time police or Georgian military tried to catch the guerillas from Ossetia, the Ossetians would run and hide behind the Russians.

Finally, Georgian leadership was desperate enough and doing badly enough in the polls (because of this) that they said, "fark it, roll in, maybe Russia will back off or at least the world will notice our country has been occupied by a foreign army."  The rest you already know.  Georgia got stomped, NATO hemmed and hawed, and the local Ossetians murdered every Georgian they could get their hands on.  But it's cool because maybe some of them were oppressed by Georgians previously so Russia was totally okay when they rolled in and slaughtered innocents and looted and pillaged.

Now there was no clear "good" solution, Georgia's a shiathole full of white people being racist against other white people.  I don't know how that works since we all look the same, but whatever.  But Putin still pulled an Iraq.

*Just going to refer to the Ossetians for brevity


What do you mean you don't know how that works, those farkers over there in North shiatistan speak with a funny Northan shiatistan accent and don't accept that Tofu is the one true food. No they think that Spiced Tofu is the one true food, farking HERITICS.

Yeah pretty much all those pissy little wars are like that, I miss the Cold War. Sure we might all die in a fiery apocalypse, but mother farker the USSR kept those shiat heads in line.
 
2014-02-24 11:54:28 AM  

Mentat: I haven't read hos books in years. I thought Russia joined NATO in one of his previous books.


They did...then dropped out. I'm a little over halfway through and the Russians have just started rolling the tanks into The Crimea. Sometimes that guy was straight up prophetic.

Interesting statement made in the book about the Russian nuclear forces. Something to the effect that about 2/3 of their land based are all but useless. Not sure if he based that on anything but he did have a pretty good read on a lot of the goings on in the world.
 
2014-02-24 11:58:47 AM  
Slaves2Darkness: mother farker the USSR kept those shiat heads in line.

My Father said the same exact thing a few years after the wall fell.
 
2014-02-24 12:08:50 PM  

TheBigJerk: spamdog: TheBigJerk: Now there was no clear "good" solution, Georgia's a shiathole full of white people being racist against other white people. I don't know how that works since we all look the same, but whatever. But Putin still pulled an Iraq.

Sneaky Russians! Good summary, thanks. Sounds like there could be legitimate cause for alarm.

Could be, but they didn't lay those kinds of foundations here.  I think Russia will just play it like they did during the Orange Revolution, let the fires die down and then start making devil's deals to the next major player.

Because as I have heard it, Ukraine is mostly rival squabbling tribes, and while a 60-70% majority will vote AGAINST someone like Viktor Y. they will not unite their vote FOR any of the OTHER motherfarkers running.  Basically like our Congress' 10% approval rating, "Congress is corrupt and terrible, except for my guy/gal.  My congresscritter is cool and my earmarks are deserved."

But something something vigilance something price of freedom.  Russia is happy to go imperial all over anything left unattended.


That sounds about right. If the Russians have to they'll lend quiet support to pro Russian groups in east Ukraine.

I still think Poland and Ukraine getting closer to the EU and NATO will lead to a major European war. Russian deep down is a very paranoid insecure country and not without good reasons.
 
2014-02-24 12:10:52 PM  
i.imgur.com

" .. Susan Powers said what? You've got to be kidding .."
 
2014-02-24 12:21:11 PM  
I remember my first Buick.
 
2014-02-24 12:26:41 PM  
What subby might look like......

andyjthompson.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-24 12:29:44 PM  

insertsnarkyusername: I want see Condi and Susan Rice wrestle in jello for some odd reason.


I am sorry to hear that, and hope the brain tumor causing this desire is only temporary.
 
2014-02-24 01:06:07 PM  

ongbok: Well if Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States, he'll have Palin to deal with.


There's a reason we keep the weapons-grade derp up there.
 
2014-02-24 01:23:35 PM  
I still don't get why people think that we're on the edge of a nuclear war every time something like this comes up.

We have a better chance of killing off the planet with global climate change that we do of ever setting off a nuclear war.  Now, had this still been the early to mid 1980's, I might have agreed with you.
 
2014-02-24 01:24:59 PM  
ts1.mm.bing.net
Works so well against 10,000 degree nuke.
 
2014-02-24 02:43:38 PM  
img.fark.net

You know what they would do? They would come to my elementary school with films to show me how to protect myself from a nuclear-f***-holocaust. They would show this giant nuclear-f***ing-bomb just blowing the s*** out of everything. Goats and monkeys flying everywhere. The windows of the elementary school blown out, the teacher banged up against the f***ing blackboard. But there were the children... hiding safely under their desks.
 
2014-02-24 03:59:51 PM  
Did someone let grampa out of his cage again??

Get back in there you little scamp- shoo shoo
 
2014-02-24 04:37:50 PM  

fluffy2097: [img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 363x257]


Bert The Turtle Says:  Duck And Cover I'm a F*cking Idiot And Don't Know How Nukes Work!

FTFY.

/That's not how nukes work, and if a nuke hits America the whole world's goin' up in smoke anyway, so if anyone survives it'll be by sheer bloody luck, nothing else.
//Seriously, no one actually knows how to survive a nuclear attack.
 
2014-02-24 04:44:08 PM  

Krymson Tyde: Mr. Shabooboo: insertsnarkyusername: I want see Condi and Susan Rice wrestle in jello for some odd reason.

I'd like to see them wrestle..In rice..WHITE rice...

Dry or cooked?


Sticky
 
2014-02-24 06:15:04 PM  
t3.gstatic.com
Olds?
The word is "Grups".
 
2014-02-25 06:50:59 AM  

Sun Tzu: [t3.gstatic.com image 259x194]
Olds?
The word is "Grups".


Bonk, Bonk! On the head!
 
2014-02-25 10:20:19 AM  

zimbomba63: PunGent: TerminalEchoes: Why is this even America's problem? Let Europe sort it out for once.

This.  Another land war in Asia would be GREAT for my portfolio.  Not so good for the country, though...

You know everything West of the Urals is still considered Europe, don't you?  Obviously, not.


So you think intervening would be a good idea?

I'd ask if you've ever served in the military but...obviously not.
 
Displayed 116 of 116 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report