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(Tampa Bay Online)   Just because you think your kid is acting like a little shiat doesn't mean you get to use a plunger on him   (tbo.com) divider line 49
    More: Florida  
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3873 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2014 at 9:11 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-23 08:20:15 PM  
Which end?
 
2014-02-23 09:16:44 PM  
Teddy said it was a hat,
So I put it on.
Now Dad is saying,
"Where the heck's
the toilet plunger gone?"
 
2014-02-23 09:19:35 PM  
"Whaaaat? We were only playing Cops and Abner Louima. "
 
2014-02-23 09:20:30 PM  
graphics8.nytimes.com

Agrees
 
2014-02-23 09:22:13 PM  
Kid probably made fun oh him because his eyes don't match.
 
2014-02-23 09:24:38 PM  
Plungers are the cornerstone of Dalek parental discipline around suppertime. "Masticate!!! MASTICATE!!!"
 
2014-02-23 09:28:46 PM  
It doesn't necessarily not mean I don't get to use one, does it?
 
2014-02-23 09:28:50 PM  
This has to be the crappiest thing I have read today.
 
2014-02-23 09:30:05 PM  
Could have been worse. He could have used a modified wooden toilet roll holder.
 
2014-02-23 09:33:18 PM  

Atomic Spunk: [graphics8.nytimes.com image 190x240]

Agrees


It's Guiliani time!

/waves toilet roller clutching fists
 
2014-02-23 09:33:40 PM  
There are a lot of parents out there I'd like to beat with a plunger though.
 
2014-02-23 09:34:04 PM  

MooseUpNorth: Plungers are the cornerstone of Dalek parental discipline around suppertime. "Masticate!!! MASTICATE!!!"


And copy/pasted that for later use.....
 
2014-02-23 09:34:48 PM  
How do you punish Helen Keller?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.
 
2014-02-23 09:35:55 PM  
I see Abner Louima has been covered
 
2014-02-23 09:36:26 PM  
 
2014-02-23 09:44:50 PM  
Why stop with one?

How did Helen Keller burn her ear?

She answered the waflle iron.

How did she burn her other ear?

They called back.

Why was Helen Keller yellow?

Her does was blind too.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

She screamed her fingers off.

How did Helen Keller's parent punish her?

They rearranged the furniture.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if someone kept calling you, "AWROUUGAA!!"
 
2014-02-23 09:45:37 PM  
Our fair city's former police chief used to beat his kids with a boat paddle.
 
2014-02-23 09:46:02 PM  

K3rmy: How do you punish Helen Keller?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.


UPIA?

/also, can you really call that a punishment?
 
2014-02-23 09:47:02 PM  
I'm actually refreshingly surprised that police in Florida would arrest a man for this. The fact that we have such blurry lines about which ways are legal to hit a child seem bizarre to me (could you imagine laws that permitted a certain amount of hitting of a wife by her husband?).
 
2014-02-23 09:50:10 PM  

swingerofbirches: I'm actually refreshingly surprised that police in Florida would arrest a man for this. The fact that we have such blurry lines about which ways are legal to hit a child seem bizarre to me (could you imagine laws that permitted a certain amount of hitting of a wife by her husband?).


Not so much a law as a rule of thumb.

/window seat please
 
2014-02-23 09:54:43 PM  

jaylectricity: Which end?


Like porn, either end would be entertaining.
 
2014-02-23 09:54:57 PM  
I get to use discipline on my kids, goddamnit! Yes I can beat them over the head with a plunger! Or a belt! Or a broom! Or a power strip!

Ok, ok--don't beat them to the point of severe bruises and broken limbs. But spanking is A-OK. Some kids need forceful discipline in order to learn not to do stupid shiat. I don't advocate spanking for, like, speaking out of turn, but spanking for intentionally breaking something? Fark yes. Spanking for not doing what he/she is told five times? Again, yes.
 
2014-02-23 09:55:52 PM  

K3rmy: How do you punish Helen Keller?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.


*blinks*

I have very conflicted feelings, but I think I want to laugh.
 
2014-02-23 09:56:30 PM  

K3rmy: Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if someone kept calling you, "AWROUUGAA!!"


Is this what you were going for?
 
2014-02-23 09:56:50 PM  

DigitalCoffee: rule of thumb


You know where that phrase comes from, don't you? Many a moon ago, the idea was that you could beat your wife or child with something, so long as it was no wider than your thumb. Which, for some of us, can be pretty damn wide.

/Thanks Ahuramazda his parents whipped him with a belt and nothing else
 
2014-02-23 10:01:30 PM  
I thought you said you don't beat your child with a plunger?

This is not my child.
 
2014-02-23 10:03:04 PM  

fusillade762: Could have been worse. He could have used a modified wooden toilet roll holder.


wow, just wow.
 
2014-02-23 10:03:07 PM  

K3rmy: How do you punish Helen Keller?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.


She's my great, great aunt, and I still laughed.
/Read my lips
 
2014-02-23 10:09:07 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-23 10:09:23 PM  

maram500: I get to use discipline on my kids, goddamnit! Yes I can beat them over the head with a plunger! Or a belt! Or a broom! Or a power strip!

Ok, ok--don't beat them to the point of severe bruises and broken limbs. But spanking is A-OK. Some kids need forceful discipline in order to learn not to do stupid shiat.


Why do children in cultures without spanking thrive in spite of not being hit by their parents? Do all the children who need to be hit happen to be born in the US?

I don't advocate spanking for, like, speaking out of turn, but spanking for intentionally breaking something? Fark yes. Spanking for not doing what he/she is told five times? Again, yes.

If your significant other intentionally broke a lamp or didn't do something you wanted, would you hit him/her?
 
2014-02-23 10:12:52 PM  
When I was anesthetized (around 5 years old at the time) to have my adenoids out, I thought the gas mask was a plunger they were trying to put over my face. I totally flipped out, screaming that it had been in the toilet and they couldn't put that over my mouth.

/not really that c-an-sb
//got nothin' else though
 
2014-02-23 10:18:07 PM  

maram500: I get to use discipline on my kids, goddamnit! Yes I can beat them over the head with a plunger! Or a belt! Or a broom! Or a power strip!

Ok, ok--don't beat them to the point of severe bruises and broken limbs. But spanking is A-OK. Some kids need forceful discipline in order to learn not to do stupid shiat. I don't advocate spanking for, like, speaking out of turn, but spanking for intentionally breaking something? Fark yes. Spanking for not doing what he/she is told five times? Again, yes.


Not sure if serious, but I'll bite.

1) You understand that parenting has three responsibilities: a) love them unconditionally, b) enjoy them, b) teach them.  Perhaps you think whacking a defenseless child is teaching them a lesson, but most likely it ain't the lesson you think;

2) There are so many more effective options to educate/instruct/teach children.  Oh sure, violence will get you instant and gratifying compliance, but again, you may not like the long-term effects of your outbursts.

/Spanked dozens of times as child, typically with a leather belt.  Dad punched the crap outta me for not handing over my paper-route income.  I've not talked to either parent since 1988, and they don't deserve the joys knowing they have a spectacular grandson, who has NEVER been hit.  That's the lesson I learned: keep my maniac parents away from my son

//Lemme get in the snowflakes and crotchfruit nomenclature out of the way for y'all.

///End rant and slashies
 
2014-02-23 10:19:39 PM  

swingerofbirches: maram500: I get to use discipline on my kids, goddamnit! Yes I can beat them over the head with a plunger! Or a belt! Or a broom! Or a power strip!

Ok, ok--don't beat them to the point of severe bruises and broken limbs. But spanking is A-OK. Some kids need forceful discipline in order to learn not to do stupid shiat.

Why do children in cultures without spanking thrive in spite of not being hit by their parents? Do all the children who need to be hit happen to be born in the US?

I don't advocate spanking for, like, speaking out of turn, but spanking for intentionally breaking something? Fark yes. Spanking for not doing what he/she is told five times? Again, yes.

If your significant other intentionally broke a lamp or didn't do something you wanted, would you hit him/her?


It's real nice for people to sit around and think "Violence never solved anything!". But in truth violence ends or fundamentally alters a situtation. It's a violent world, and some people need a good beating to get the message that whatever they're doing is socially unacceptable. The problem comes from who's doing the judging. Perhaps if there was some sort of licensing and monitoring system to ensure people weren't catching beatings undeservedly. Class A allows you to beat or call for beatings of your own children, Class B for other people's children, and Class C for anybody within 50 yards.
 
2014-02-23 10:31:55 PM  

mainstreet62: jaylectricity: Which end?

Like porn, either end would be entertaining.


Either end of the child? You might want to keep that little fetish to yourself.
 
2014-02-23 10:39:17 PM  

swingerofbirches: Why do children in cultures without spanking thrive in spite of not being hit by their parents? Do all the children who need to be hit happen to be born in the US?


i141.photobucket.com

Doesn't know what the fluck you are pulling out of your ass
 
2014-02-23 10:48:58 PM  

trappedspirit: swingerofbirches: Why do children in cultures without spanking thrive in spite of not being hit by their parents? Do all the children who need to be hit happen to be born in the US?

[i141.photobucket.com image 340x255]

Doesn't know what the fluck you are pulling out of your ass


Someone said that for some kids, spanking is *needed*. I was pointing out that in some countries, it doesn't exist-at all. Not in the home, not in school. So, if it were needed for some children, why do they all happen to be in countries where it's legal? Have you heard of anything terrible happening to children in Sweden who needed to be hit but weren't? If there are children who need to be hit, I suppose they must all be in the countries where it's legal to do so or something terrible would be happening to them!

You can see a connection between children who need medical care and don't get it and those who do, but what is this negative outcome for children who need beatings but aren't getting them? The US has 6x the homicide rate of Sweden, for example, so it can't be that. What is happening to all these poor children who aren't getting their beatings?
 
2014-02-23 10:53:10 PM  
Why not?
 
2014-02-23 10:58:36 PM  

fusillade762: Our fair city's former police chief used to beat his kids with a boat paddle.


My ex hit me with a boat oar.
 
2014-02-23 11:17:22 PM  
FTFA: An arrest report shows Allen admitted to striking the child because he was upset with the child, lost his temper and did not mean to hit the child that hard with the handle.

Um, whatever your views on corporal punishment on a child (and by all means continue to debate them), that bit is pretty freaking telling. Remember that we don't know how old the child was, or whether this guy's even the kid's father. Just that, you know, he lost his temper and hit the child harder than he meant to.

Should be interesting to see how the whole thing plays out in court...
 
2014-02-23 11:21:06 PM  
twatgeek.com
OBEY!
 
2014-02-23 11:42:18 PM  

jaylectricity: mainstreet62: jaylectricity: Which end?

Like porn, either end would be entertaining.

Either end of the child? You might want to keep that little fetish to yourself.


Yeah, that came out wrong. Don't really know what I was trying to say there, except try to make a joke and fail miserably.
 
2014-02-23 11:51:25 PM  
dilbert.com
 
2014-02-24 12:03:34 AM  
Came for the dalek reference, leaving satisfied.
 
2014-02-24 12:09:05 AM  

mainstreet62: jaylectricity: mainstreet62: jaylectricity: Which end?

Like porn, either end would be entertaining.

Either end of the child? You might want to keep that little fetish to yourself.

Yeah, that came out wrong. Don't really know what I was trying to say there, except try to make a joke and fail miserably.


Don't worry, man. I know you were making a joke. So was I.
 
2014-02-24 01:04:16 AM  
I really think disciplining your kids is necessary but I don't agree with spanking.  I grew up getting the shiat beat out of me and it was terrifying.  My parents crossed a line at some point and just used it as a means to vent their frustrations and feel like they were still in control.
When your kid has no idea why you are disciplining them but just know they are going to have to get through it somehow, your means of discipline is nothing more than bullying and terror aka mental abuse.  If that means of discipline includes you hitting them, you are now physically and mentally abusing them.
And you suck as a human being.
 
2014-02-24 01:58:42 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2014-02-24 02:03:00 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-02-24 06:34:52 AM  
Kids these days need a good 'plungin'
 
2014-02-24 08:30:43 AM  

maram500: DigitalCoffee: rule of thumb

You know where that phrase comes from, don't you? Many a moon ago, the idea was that you could beat your wife or child with something, so long as it was no wider than your thumb.


I'm pretty sure "That's the joke"...

/I would've posted the image, but I refuse to use one without the apostrophe, and most of them on GIS lack one!
 
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