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(CNY Central)   Moo means no   (cnycentral.com ) divider line
    More: Sick, sexual misconduct  
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8252 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2014 at 11:53 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-02-22 10:52:46 PM  
derpicdn.net

Oh wow. He caught them on camera too.

Might as well kill yourselves, chaps. You'll forever be known as the cowfarkers.
 
2014-02-22 11:00:14 PM  
Is the guy rocking a horse cock or something that a regular woman wouldn't want in her?

There was a guy in my county growing up who had a contraption made from 2x4's and garden hoses so that he could f*ck horses. Also my home county caught a guy f*cking a dead deer in a ditch a few years ago. I think it made it onto Fark.

For some reason I am picturing a scene from City Slickers where Billy Crystal goes shoulder deep into a cow's vag to pull a baby cow out.
 
2014-02-22 11:04:44 PM  
It's kind of weird they did this together.  Well that's not the only kind of weird part of it.

I trust a rancher who knows when his cows are anxious, though.
 
2014-02-22 11:05:59 PM  
A Handy guide to cow farking:

Yes:

www.floridageekscene.com

Maybe:

s1.static.gotsmile.net

No:

fc01.deviantart.net

Seek professional help:

www.wallpaperswala.com
 
2014-02-22 11:06:58 PM  

antidisestablishmentarianism: Is the guy rocking a horse cock or something that a regular woman wouldn't want in her?

There was a guy in my county growing up who had a contraption made from 2x4's and garden hoses so that he could f*ck horses. Also my home county caught a guy f*cking a dead deer in a ditch a few years ago. I think it made it onto Fark.

For some reason I am picturing a scene from City Slickers where Billy Crystal goes shoulder deep into a cow's vag to pull a baby cow out.


I went to high school with a kid who disappeared from the school out of the blue one day. It turns out, he was caught farking a goat at his neighbor's farm and arrested for it. Last I heard of the matter he was living at Western State Mental Health in Bolivar.
 
2014-02-22 11:08:44 PM  

Confabulat: It's kind of weird they did this together.  Well that's not the only kind of weird part of it.



See, I think what happened is one of them said "Boy, I'd love to roast a cow on the spit tonight", and the other one took it in completely the wrong way.
 
2014-02-22 11:25:43 PM  
Police say their investigation found Jones agreed to videotape Fontaine as he tried to have sexual contact with several cows.

Nice to have someone along to capture those magic moments.


FirstNationalBastard: A Handy guide to cow farking:

Yes:


i133.photobucket.com

Call me "The Ruiner".
 
2014-02-22 11:27:53 PM  

fusillade762: Police say their investigation found Jones agreed to videotape Fontaine as he tried to have sexual contact with several cows.

Nice to have someone along to capture those magic moments.


FirstNationalBastard: A Handy guide to cow farking:

Yes:

[i133.photobucket.com image 798x639]

Call me "The Ruiner".


Still not seeing a problem with that particular heifer.
 
2014-02-22 11:38:25 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: fusillade762: Police say their investigation found Jones agreed to videotape Fontaine as he tried to have sexual contact with several cows.

Nice to have someone along to capture those magic moments.


FirstNationalBastard: A Handy guide to cow farking:

Yes:

[i133.photobucket.com image 798x639]

Call me "The Ruiner".

Still not seeing a problem with that particular heifer.


Hell, I'd still have sexual contact with her, too. Just had to point out the 'shop-ness.
 
2014-02-22 11:41:41 PM  
Given the size difference between a bull penis and a human penis would the cow even be aware it was being sexually abused?

It would be like throwing a kosher frank down a cow's vagina.
 
2014-02-22 11:55:57 PM  

Ghastly: Given the size difference between a bull penis and a human penis would the cow even be aware it was being sexually abused?

It would be like throwing a kosher frank down a cow's vagina.


You said "penis" twice.
 
2014-02-22 11:58:42 PM  
If you drive a truck one time, do they call you a truck driver?  No.
 
2014-02-23 12:00:09 AM  
That's what happens when you ask dyslexics to milk the cows
 
2014-02-23 12:00:30 AM  

fusillade762: Police say their investigation found Jones agreed to videotape Fontaine as he tried to have sexual contact with several cows.

Nice to have someone along to capture those magic moments.


FirstNationalBastard: A Handy guide to cow farking:

Yes:

[i133.photobucket.com image 798x639]

Call me "The Ruiner".


Seen the original before,  would still hit it.

/moo
 
2014-02-23 12:02:18 AM  
img295.imageshack.us

Entrapment?
 
2014-02-23 12:03:32 AM  
Cowfarker, do you need assistance?
 
2014-02-23 12:05:22 AM  
Worth the read for the comments at the bottom.
 
2014-02-23 12:06:29 AM  
While cow-farking is obviously disturbing, I'm more grossed out by they guy's spending 20 minutes going down on the cow before he slipped it in. I mean sure it was gentlemanly of him and all to be concerned about the cow's pleasure but I doubt I could keep my dinner down, if you know what I mean.
 
2014-02-23 12:07:19 AM  
...when you can get the milk for free.
 
2014-02-23 12:07:50 AM  
I can see one guy doing this stuff, but, to find somebody else, with the same tastes, in the general area, leads me to believe that there is something in the water around there.
 
2014-02-23 12:09:19 AM  
The frustrating part of screwing a cow is having to get down off the stool and walk around to the front to kiss her...
 
2014-02-23 12:10:15 AM  
This is udderly ridiculous
 
2014-02-23 12:12:56 AM  
www.overclock.net

Could have been worse...
 
2014-02-23 12:14:04 AM  

Salmon: Worth the read for the comments at the bottom.


Yeah, my favourite is the guy from Alabama saying 'how farking inbred are these New Yorkers?'
 
2014-02-23 12:14:21 AM  
Did you see how she just left her udder out, swayin' in the breeze like that? Biatch was askin' for it.
 
2014-02-23 12:15:56 AM  
Fark Mor Chikin!
 
2014-02-23 12:16:18 AM  
I like to think they at least didn't share the same cow. But I could be wrong.
 
2014-02-23 12:19:24 AM  
♫ ♬ Something in the way she moos, ♪♪♪ attracts me like no udder lover...♪♫
 
2014-02-23 12:19:40 AM  
Man, just tonight I saw a guy with a t-shirt with a picture of a sheep that was captioned "Baaaa means noooo!"

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE, NOT A SERIOUS...wow these guys.
 
2014-02-23 12:19:55 AM  
Moo means no and moooo means yes.

It's very easy for those not fluent in bovine to misunderstand.
 
2014-02-23 12:21:58 AM  
So this is how you do a double date in Utica, NY?
 
2014-02-23 12:22:10 AM  
Great, some TFettes finally get some action and their boyfriends immediately get arrested. Tough break, ladies.
 
2014-02-23 12:23:05 AM  
Many, Many Years ago, I worked with this redneck in Altus OK. While myself and several others were over his house for a BBQ, he told us all a story of when he was a teen ager, how his cousins had convinced him to mount a cow, in the  biblical sense.  As he was stepping up to the cow, it shiat all over him. Don't know how true the story was, but it was funny as hell hearing him tell it.

He also explained the reason he and his wife didn't have kids yet is because she wouldn't swallow. And yes, she was in the room when he said it.

A very strange redneck, he was.
 
2014-02-23 12:23:09 AM  
He just couldn't control himself. He just had to heifer.
 
2014-02-23 12:23:42 AM  
Man, you fark one cow...
 
2014-02-23 12:25:39 AM  

fusillade762: Police say their investigation found Jones agreed to videotape Fontaine as he tried to have sexual contact with several cows.

Nice to have someone along to capture those magic moments.


FirstNationalBastard: A Handy guide to cow farking:

Yes:

[i133.photobucket.com image 798x639]

Call me "The Ruiner".


I will take both please, have them fitted with the milking devices and sent to my chambers.
 
2014-02-23 12:27:43 AM  
Was the cow at least "smoking hot"?  Did she have a purty little mouth?
 
2014-02-23 12:28:18 AM  

BumpInTheNight: fusillade762: Police say their investigation found Jones agreed to videotape Fontaine as he tried to have sexual contact with several cows.

Nice to have someone along to capture those magic moments.


FirstNationalBastard: A Handy guide to cow farking:

Yes:

[i133.photobucket.com image 798x639]

Call me "The Ruiner".

I will take both please, have them fitted with the milking devices and sent to my chambers.

 
2014-02-23 12:35:04 AM  
Oh, ferchrissake.
 
2014-02-23 12:36:13 AM  
Yippie kay aye,
I just threw up in my milk bukkit.
 
2014-02-23 12:37:23 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Man, just tonight I saw a guy with a t-shirt with a picture of a sheep that was captioned "Baaaa means noooo!"

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE, NOT A SERIOUS...wow these guys.


I saw a guy with a T-shirt emblazoned with a large sheep logo captioned "SILF", so I guess bestiality is "in" these days...
 
2014-02-23 12:37:28 AM  
There are some things that are too strange for my even philosophy.

Good use of "sick" tag.
 
2014-02-23 12:38:22 AM  

burdock: Fuggin Bizzy: Man, just tonight I saw a guy with a t-shirt with a picture of a sheep that was captioned "Baaaa means noooo!"

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE, NOT A SERIOUS...wow these guys.

I saw a guy with a T-shirt emblazoned with a large sheep logo captioned "SILF", so I guess bestiality is "in" these days...


When was it ever "out" anyway?
 
2014-02-23 12:42:03 AM  

The One True TheDavid: burdock: Fuggin Bizzy: Man, just tonight I saw a guy with a t-shirt with a picture of a sheep that was captioned "Baaaa means noooo!"

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE, NOT A SERIOUS...wow these guys.

I saw a guy with a T-shirt emblazoned with a large sheep logo captioned "SILF", so I guess bestiality is "in" these days...

When was it ever "out" anyway?


Besides which, in WV the "S" in "SILF" stands for Sister. Are the human females that ugly in Herkimer County, NY? Or is it that they run too fast?
 
2014-02-23 12:44:04 AM  
"Cause nothing matters in this whole wide world/when you're in love with a Jersey cow..."

I hope they took her to a fence-y restaurant. She was definitely pasture league, outstanding in the field.

Seriously, the posters of Elsie in their bedrooms were a big tip off that their beef was not well-grounded.

/I million of 'em, none of 'em funny.
 
2014-02-23 12:44:54 AM  
antidisestablishmentarianism: There was a guy in my county growing up who had a contraption made from 2x4's and garden hoses so that he could f*ck horses.

I'm not getting a "pleasurable" logic here. Isn't that just sticking something in a horse which is still godawful?
 
2014-02-23 12:49:08 AM  
eFarmony.com
 
2014-02-23 12:52:39 AM  

Spartapuss: antidisestablishmentarianism: There was a guy in my county growing up who had a contraption made from 2x4's and garden hoses so that he could f*ck horses.

I'm not getting a "pleasurable" logic here. Isn't that just sticking something in a horse which is still godawful?


I'm pretty sure the contraption was to secure the horse, I think we can all agree that 2x4s would probably leave a lot of splinters.
 
2014-02-23 12:55:37 AM  

King Something: Ghastly: Given the size difference between a bull penis and a human penis would the cow even be aware it was being sexually abused?

It would be like throwing a kosher frank down a cow's vagina.

You said "penis" twice.


I like penis.
 
2014-02-23 12:58:52 AM  

fat boy: eFarmony.com


CattleMingle.com
 
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