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(New York Daily News)   Cops charge man with swallowing a $150,000 diamond, say they'll keep an eye out for any suspicious movements   (nydailynews.com) divider line 38
    More: Fail, Australian courts, diamonds  
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1710 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2014 at 10:51 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-22 10:53:04 PM
Any chance they'll drop the charges first thing in the morning?
 
2014-02-22 10:54:41 PM
does he like dags?
 
2014-02-22 10:54:55 PM
1) pretend to palm diamond
2) pretend to swallow diamond
3) get ruffed up by cops
4) sue
5) ???
 
2014-02-22 10:58:09 PM
Unablahblahblah

www.wearysloth.com
 
2014-02-22 10:58:47 PM
Just feed him some White Castles and let nature take it's course.
 
2014-02-22 11:07:30 PM
If the got the wrong guy its gonna be a shiaty situation for the cops.
 
2014-02-22 11:08:20 PM
See the link at the bottom about the 630 pound woman?

shiatty way to go.

(Groan)
 
2014-02-22 11:09:10 PM
I once worked at Kinkos and an ESL elementary school teacher came in to copy worksheets for her students. They were for a science project.

Measure cat.
Weigh the cat's bowel.
Weigh the bowel with food in it.
Write the weight of the food ________
 
2014-02-22 11:09:32 PM
He's a real diamond in the roughage.
 
2014-02-22 11:11:25 PM
I like how the article didn't describe how he allegedly stole it. I'm more interested in jewel thieves and their methods than whether or not they're guilty of doing it. Like that John Malkovich movie.
 
2014-02-22 11:12:07 PM

plmyfngr: you're married...you should get lucky every night


regrettably false
 
2014-02-22 11:12:20 PM

King Something: He's a real diamond in the roughage.


(double groan).

But made me smile.
 
2014-02-22 11:13:20 PM
What the hell was that?

Ah well, it's the old problem of the carat or the stick.
 
2014-02-22 11:14:51 PM

zulius: does he like dags?


2.bp.blogspot.com

/understands
 
2014-02-22 11:17:44 PM
Classic movie recommendation: The Hot Rock, which features a scene much like this.
 
2014-02-22 11:18:37 PM

FoonFlake: Any chance they'll drop the charges first thing in the morning?


He'll have to drop something first.
 
2014-02-22 11:29:52 PM
It's the diamond as big as he shiats.
 
2014-02-22 11:30:03 PM
Why not just give him something like ipecac and avoid the whole feces ordeal?
What if it were explosives that he swallowed. Is there some kind of SOP for situations like that? Put him in the little round bomb thing?
 
2014-02-22 11:30:34 PM

"A man has appeared in an Australian court charged with stealing then swallowing a rare $150,000 pink diamond."


www.delta-associates.com

 
2014-02-22 11:35:41 PM
Classic movie recommendation: Shirli-Myrli, which features a scene much like this.
 
2014-02-22 11:43:49 PM
Wouldn't it show up on an X-ray?
 
2014-02-22 11:44:48 PM
Is it safe?
 
2014-02-22 11:46:59 PM
He is turning it back into a lump of coal.
 
2014-02-22 11:50:11 PM

Weatherkiss: I like how the article didn't describe how he allegedly stole it. I'm more interested in jewel thieves and their methods than whether or not they're guilty of doing it. Like that John Malkovich movie.


The video of the newscast does. Man asked to see a precious diamond. Then asks again to see an even more precious one. Owner brings out the $150,000 diamond. Guy just steals it from owner when it's being shown. Runs out of store and into a public bathroom. Changes his clothes, then ends up at airport where he's apprehended.

I don't understand why this small diamond would be worth so much. Maybe the color and the perfect shape?
 
2014-02-22 11:56:45 PM

eldie: Weatherkiss: I like how the article didn't describe how he allegedly stole it. I'm more interested in jewel thieves and their methods than whether or not they're guilty of doing it. Like that John Malkovich movie.

The video of the newscast does. Man asked to see a precious diamond. Then asks again to see an even more precious one. Owner brings out the $150,000 diamond. Guy just steals it from owner when it's being shown. Runs out of store and into a public bathroom. Changes his clothes, then ends up at airport where he's apprehended.

I don't understand why this small diamond would be worth so much. Maybe the color and the perfect shape?


Because deBeers says it's worth that much, and they control diamond prices. Chances are there are way more in storage that they'll release every now and again to keep up the illusion these things are rare and expensive.

Also I didn't see the video (script blocking), I just assume that they write that down in their articles. Evidently not.
 
2014-02-23 12:15:55 AM

Weatherkiss: I like how the article didn't describe how he allegedly stole it. I'm more interested in jewel thieves and their methods than whether or not they're guilty of doing it. Like that John Malkovich movie.


I really liked that movie where he played a retard. I have a cousin who is a retard and so as you might imagine it means a lot to me to see retards portrayed on the silver screen so compassionately.
 
2014-02-23 12:29:59 AM

C18H27NO3: Why not just give him something like ipecac and avoid the whole feces ordeal?
What if it were explosives that he swallowed. Is there some kind of SOP for situations like that? Put him in the little round bomb thing?


Need a court order for that. If they could even get it, in the time that would take the diamond would be too far along.

GED in law from kmart, but think this is correct.
 
2014-02-23 12:50:16 AM
The police asked Todd Hoffman and his crew to recover the diamond....
i.imgur.com

...but all they found were a bunch of tiny ones....

i.imgur.com

...worth about $3.50
 
2014-02-23 01:54:18 AM
 
2014-02-23 02:12:59 AM

geoduck42: Classic movie recommendation: The Hot Rock, which features a scene much like this.


Afghanistan Bananastand...
 
2014-02-23 03:39:52 AM
Didn't anyone tell him diamonds have absolutely no resale value?
 
2014-02-23 04:17:45 AM
It was a dreadful, heavy thing. He only swallowed it this once.
 
2014-02-23 07:20:58 AM
You'll know he's swallowed it if the first place he went was to a curry house to order a vindaloo to act as a tracer.
 
2014-02-23 08:09:00 AM
Open him up.
 
2014-02-23 08:16:29 AM

TheGreatGazoo: Wouldn't it show up on an X-ray?


No, diamonds are radiolucent. If it had been in a metal setting, then obviously that would show up (but it would look empty).
 
2014-02-23 09:07:52 AM

eyemarten: He is turning it back into a lump of coal.


What exactly would the human digestive tract do to a faceted, polished diamond?  And vice versa?

Even if diamond is mostly chemically inert, I wonder if stomach acid might blunt the sharp corners, as those same sharp corners were lacerating his stomach and intestines.
 
2014-02-23 09:09:55 AM

TheGreatGazoo: Wouldn't it show up on an X-ray?


Good question.  It's only carbon, so not as likely to block x-rays as bone would be, but if they can use x-rays to image the pleghm in your lungs, then you would think they could see a lump of something unlike living tissue.
 
2014-02-23 10:35:04 AM

flondrix: TheGreatGazoo: Wouldn't it show up on an X-ray?

Good question.  It's only carbon, so not as likely to block x-rays as bone would be, but if they can use x-rays to image the pleghm in your lungs, then you would think they could see a lump of something unlike living tissue.


Nah it's not the type of atoms that matters so much as the arrangement of them. Diamonds allow x-rays to pass right through without attenuation so they won't show. Water (in phlegm etc) absorbs x-rays quite strongly so it shows up well on the images.

I can't find it now of course but there was an old story we were told of a gem thief who swallowed some diamonds at a jewellers. He was x-rayed and the stones showed on the films, therefore the jeweller was also arrested for passing fakes off as diamonds in the first place.
 
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