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(TMZ)   Miami prosecutors offer notorious alcoholic and drug addict Justin Bieber a deal: go to jail, or stay sober   (tmz.com) divider line 36
    More: Followup, Justin Bieber, Miami, Let's Make a Deal, State Attorney, substance dependence  
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3020 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Feb 2014 at 12:14 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-22 11:35:03 AM  
Well, he is a US problem now, so you need to help him.
 
2014-02-22 12:15:14 PM  
static.gamespot.com
 
2014-02-22 12:19:04 PM  
So, he'll bounce back and forth between courts for various probation violations and pay huge legal fees to stay out of jail, all the while the lawyers bleed him dry until he's a shriveled husk?

/I'm okay with this
 
2014-02-22 12:19:43 PM  
I demand nothing less than the death penalty, or barring that expulsion from the country.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-22 12:26:19 PM  
Don't U.S. laws already require that a 19-year-old stay sober?
 
2014-02-22 12:31:18 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: I demand nothing less than the death penalty, or barring that expulsion from the country.


[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x490]


Of course. His mother is a hardcore fundamentalist.
 
2014-02-22 12:32:41 PM  

ChrisDe: Don't U.S. laws already require that a 19-year-old stay sober?


I guess they are more like guidelines...
 
2014-02-22 12:40:10 PM  
well, if he really wants a rap career to be valid he needs some street cred.  a short stint should do it.  so please TAKE THE JAIL OPTION!  ya know for your career.

/and not for the rest of us to not deal with your stupidity
//and potential affluenza verdicts
 
2014-02-22 12:41:38 PM  
Just wait till he is exposed to heroin. Let the good times roll!
 
2014-02-22 12:46:43 PM  

Farkin_Crazy: Just wait till he is exposed to heroin. Let the good times roll!


Someone should dose his sizzurp with angel dust. Lots and lots of angel dust.
 
2014-02-22 12:50:57 PM  
He hard. He be goin' to da pokey.
 
2014-02-22 01:15:32 PM  

ChrisDe: Don't U.S. laws already require that a 19-year-old stay sober?


Assuming you mean alcohol, it depends on the state.  A lot of states allow underage consumption with parental supervision (which Bieber's loser dad would obviously give.  Hell, he "supervised" pot smoking on a plane after all.) and others allow underage consumption in certain locations (e.g. at home).

Florida, however, has no exceptions, so his underage drinking there was certainly illegal.
 
2014-02-22 01:25:39 PM  
You're a star, Beebs. You don't have to take this crap. You're better than they are.

My suggestion is to show up at the court and fight this thing. And just to show you're serious, you should have several strong drinks in you and be reeking of pot. Then a loud and clear voice, that you are well known for, tell the judge and da exactly what you think of their offer.
 
2014-02-22 01:29:21 PM  

Farkin_Crazy: Just wait till he is exposed to heroin. Let the good times roll!


He said he was the Kurt Cobain of this generation. I say we let the analogy run its course.
 
2014-02-22 01:44:07 PM  

zamboni: You're a star, Beebs. You don't have to take this crap. You're better than they are.

My suggestion is to show up at the court and fight this thing. And just to show you're serious, you should have several strong drinks in you and be reeking of pot. Then a loud and clear voice, that you are well known for, tell the judge and da exactly what you think of their offer.


Like this? (NSFW)
 
2014-02-22 02:49:32 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Farkin_Crazy: Just wait till he is exposed to heroin. Let the good times roll!

He said he was the Kurt Cobain of this generation. I say we let the analogy run its course.


Why would you inflict Courtney Love on someone? You monster.
 
2014-02-22 02:52:07 PM  

Radak: ChrisDe: Don't U.S. laws already require that a 19-year-old stay sober?

Assuming you mean alcohol, it depends on the state.  A lot of states allow underage consumption with parental supervision (which Bieber's loser dad would obviously give.  Hell, he "supervised" pot smoking on a plane after all.) and others allow underage consumption in certain locations (e.g. at home).

Florida, however, has no exceptions, so his underage drinking there was certainly illegal.


How much money does he NOT have to have to be convicted like any other underaged drinker.

/and any Beliebers stupid enough to make death threats against officials should be found and charged
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-02-22 03:13:54 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: I demand nothing less than the death penalty, or barring that expulsion from the country.


[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x490]


Being in a Miami jail cell is one of those reasons.
 
2014-02-22 03:57:29 PM  

The Flexecutioner: well, if he really wants a rap career to be valid he needs some street cred.  a short stint should do it.


You can build street cred with underage drinking?

I think the only street cred Bieber has is that he's known as a pussy who gets his bodyguards into lots of childish fights.
 
2014-02-22 04:07:45 PM  
The first I heard about Bieber was a personal account someone put online in a forum in which he was behaving like a twit in a movie theater. (He was trying to buy beer, using "Don't you know who I am, biatch" as encouragement.) So literally the first thing I knew about him was that he was another tweeniebopper popstar destined to flame out fast. Frankie Lymon, Britney, Lindsey, and now this chump.
 
2014-02-22 04:28:19 PM  

Farxist Marxist: Well, he is a US problem now, so you need to help him.


He's moved to Sandy Springs, Ga. It's all over the freakin news here. I'm thinkin of getting a pile of my biker buds together and doing a mass drive by flip off.

That'll show him
 
2014-02-22 05:04:59 PM  

listernine: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Farkin_Crazy: Just wait till he is exposed to heroin. Let the good times roll!

He said he was the Kurt Cobain of this generation. I say we let the analogy run its course.

Why would you inflict Courtney Love on someone? You monster.


Really - she blew Ted Nugent when she was only twelve, and NOW look at the poor man.
 
2014-02-22 05:27:12 PM  
He's renting a house in Atlanta. Hopefully he'll continue as he has without doing any research on Georgia's drug laws.
 
2014-02-22 07:17:22 PM  

twistedmetal: So, he'll bounce back and forth between courts for various probation violations and pay huge legal fees to stay out of jail, all the while the lawyers bleed him dry until he's a shriveled husk?

/I'm okay with this


so instead of LA celebrity justice, it's Miami celebrity justice.

so the next time you are in Miami and you get busted for DUI, ask for the justin beiber sentence
 
2014-02-22 07:33:51 PM  
Dude could probably buy Miami if he wanted too.
 
2014-02-22 07:37:05 PM  
Regular people get this same deal.  He should take it and keep clean for a while.  Jackass needs to learn a simple lesson.  That is, "do what the judge tells you to do until the probation terminates."  It's a rule we all live by.
 
2014-02-22 09:01:29 PM  
Hey, Biebs, little advice for you: lots and lots of krokodil. They're not testing for it over here, so hey, you can get farked up and not go to jail! Plus it's great for shedding a few pounds, great for keeping up that six pack!
 
2014-02-22 09:23:14 PM  

zamboni: You're a star, Beebs. You don't have to take this crap. You're better than they are.

My suggestion is to show up at the court and fight this thing. And just to show you're serious, you should have several strong drinks in you and be reeking of pot. Then a loud and clear voice, that you are well known for, tell the judge and da exactly what you think of their offer.


Here, here!
 
2014-02-22 09:37:31 PM  

fusillade762: He's renting a house in Atlanta. Hopefully he'll continue as he has without doing any research on Georgia's drug laws.


Hopefully he's end up a resident of the Fulton County Jail, AND have his smooth young ass tossed into the same cell as Ed "Dragon*Con" Kramer.
 
2014-02-22 09:45:56 PM  
I'm sure he'll have a sizzurp script written by whatever Dr. Feelgood is pumping him full of Xanax.

I got a feeling Miami PD screwed up the investigation, which is why they want him to plead out so badly.
 
2014-02-22 10:14:51 PM  

Ryker's Peninsula: Dude could probably buy Miami if he wanted too.


He'll piss it away too fast.
 
2014-02-22 10:16:58 PM  
I'm slowing warming up to Arkansas and other states that prohibit pleading down a DWI/DUI.

There is no way he should not have a serious conviction on his record.
 
2014-02-22 11:41:59 PM  

Vodka Zombie: The Flexecutioner: well, if he really wants a rap career to be valid he needs some street cred.  a short stint should do it.

You can build street cred with underage drinking?

I think the only street cred Bieber has is that he's known as a pussy who gets his bodyguards into lots of childish fights.


Prison will provide him the opportunity to earn some.  Either he'll shiv a guy and earn a free pass or be some passed-around biatch to the highest bidders.  I would be betting on the latter.
 
m00
2014-02-23 12:51:54 AM  

The Flexecutioner: Prison will provide him the opportunity to earn some.  Either he'll shiv a guy and earn a free pass or be some passed-around biatch to the highest bidders.  I would be betting on the latter.


Rich people have a different prison system
 
2014-02-23 08:50:35 PM  
Has anyone said that Justin Bieber is a talentless douchebag groomed by his mother via YouTube videos to be the next Thing? Really? Okay. I just did.
 
2014-02-23 11:40:33 PM  
Damnit was hoping for the deportation. Well Farkist Markist is right, he's our problem now.

/Damnit
 
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