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(Daily Mail)   The long awaited Jennifer Aniston / Justin Theroux wedding which was off again, then on again, then off again, then on again ... is off again   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston, West Hollywood, Jessica Chastain, Susan Sarandon, RadarOnline, Liv Tyler, humans  
•       •       •

2513 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Feb 2014 at 10:42 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-22 07:55:02 AM  
She and Taylor Swift should form a support group.
 
2014-02-22 08:36:13 AM  
So you're saying there's still a chance?

www.verbicidemagazine.com
 
2014-02-22 08:41:16 AM  
She is hot, and I would penis her with vigor, but holy hell she seems like a flaky head case.
 
2014-02-22 09:02:35 AM  
"Jen's had such a hard time. I just want to hug her and tell her everything's okay."
 
2014-02-22 10:46:23 AM  
Shouldn't this get a sad tag for Jen's soon to be barren uterus?
 
2014-02-22 10:48:01 AM  
petergriffin.jpg
 
2014-02-22 10:48:03 AM  
And if you believe the tabloids, she's been pregnant for the last five years.
 
2014-02-22 10:52:06 AM  
*checks watch* Nope, still not time to care about a living typecast.

/would penis her, that scene in horrible bosses with the nothing but lab coat always leads to tent
 
2014-02-22 10:57:21 AM  

PC LOAD LETTER: She is hot, and I would penis her with vigor, but holy hell she seems like a flaky head case.


There has to be something seriously flawed with her personality. I posit she has pretty girl syndrome (PGS)...She based her identity on her looks and has grown accustomed to men caving to her whims. Eventually when they grow tired of trying to appease her the relationship falls apart.
 
2014-02-22 11:04:30 AM  

MayoSlather: She based her identity on her looks and has grown accustomed to men caving to her whims


Well not every man, right Angie?

Too soon?
 
2014-02-22 11:05:28 AM  

Mugato: Shouldn't this get a sad tag for Jen's soon to be barren uterus?


I get the feeling that she's not interested in kids - that seemed to be one of the reasons Brad jumped ship for Angelina, because Jennifer wanted to focus on her career and Angie was willing to breed like a rabbit.
 
2014-02-22 11:06:23 AM  

texdent: And if you believe the tabloids, she's been pregnant for the last five years.


So she's a member of the Duggar family?
 
2014-02-22 11:25:26 AM  
Sounds like a very slow very of sticking your dick in crazy. In. Wait a month. Out. Repeat.
 
2014-02-22 11:26:05 AM  
Second very should have been way. I just woke up. Sorry.
 
2014-02-22 11:27:04 AM  

MayoSlather: PC LOAD LETTER: She is hot, and I would penis her with vigor, but holy hell she seems like a flaky head case.

There has to be something seriously flawed with her personality. I posit she has pretty girl syndrome (PGS)...She based her identity on her looks and has grown accustomed to men caving to her whims. Eventually when they grow tired of trying to appease her the relationship falls apart.


I think you just nailed it.

/some guy some where is tired of her shiat
 
2014-02-22 11:35:42 AM  
"On, off, on, off, on, off....." Sounds like her sex life. As I imagine it to be, anyway.
 
2014-02-22 11:45:16 AM  
She offered her honor,
I honored her offer.
And so all night long,
it was honor and offer.
 
2014-02-22 11:48:55 AM  
Maybe they're on a break.
 
2014-02-22 11:56:11 AM  
Jennifer won the long-term "Fist of an Angry God" contest over Angie, and it took motherhood, a skeletal diet, and a double mastectomy to do it.

Angie's consolation prize is Brad Pitt. How many years and counting?
 
2014-02-22 11:56:46 AM  
It's tough finding bridesmaid dresses for that many cats.
 
2014-02-22 12:02:34 PM  
s2.postimg.org

desmond.imageshack.us

oi31.tinypic.com

/oblig
 
2014-02-22 12:14:49 PM  

Mugato: She and Taylor Swift should form a support group.


Except Aniston has mostly dated guys who are actually straight.
 
2014-02-22 12:29:21 PM  

Mugato: Shouldn't this get a sad tag for Jen's soon to be barren uterus?


The problem was apparently the challenge of designing a wedding dress capable of confining the bats and ghosts for the duration of the service.
 
2014-02-22 12:30:01 PM  
She should adopt a Caucasian Downie. No one would suspect.
 
2014-02-22 12:46:51 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: Jennifer won the long-term "Fist of an Angry God" contest over Angie, and it took motherhood, a skeletal diet, and a double mastectomy to do it.


Nope, there's still that sour face to contend with.  No thanks, chewy nips notwithstanding.

This person's entire celebrity persona for the last, what, 15 years, is based on her being an old maid.  That's gotta hurt.
 
2014-02-22 12:50:01 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: Mugato: Shouldn't this get a sad tag for Jen's soon to be barren uterus?

I get the feeling that she's not interested in kids - that seemed to be one of the reasons Brad jumped ship for Angelina, because Jennifer wanted to focus on her career and Angie was willing to breed like a rabbit.


And Jennifer supposedly told Brad that once Friends was over, she'd concentrate on having a family instead of her career.  She changed her mind.  So did he, apparently.
 
2014-02-22 01:05:16 PM  

Valiente: Mugato: Shouldn't this get a sad tag for Jen's soon to be barren uterus?

The problem was apparently the challenge of designing a wedding dress capable of confining the bats and ghosts for the duration of the service.


That's quite likely to be the best and funniest thing I'll read all day.
 
2014-02-22 01:41:22 PM  

Im_Gumby: [s2.postimg.org image 340x527]

[desmond.imageshack.us image 441x479]

[oi31.tinypic.com image 418x462]

/oblig


My girlfriend says she's straight, but Jennifer Aniston is the one woman she'd go lesbian for. I'm ok with this.
 
2014-02-22 01:42:07 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: ennifer won the long-term "Fist of an Angry God" contest over Angie, and it took motherhood, a skeletal diet, and a double mastectomy to do it.


Well the mastectomy thing was a low blow but despite being too skinny nowadays, Jolie is still a hundred times prettier than Aniston. By by all accounts a better person. And she's bisexual and a total freak. At least back in the day.
 
2014-02-22 01:55:08 PM  

Mugato: OtherLittleGuy: ennifer won the long-term "Fist of an Angry God" contest over Angie, and it took motherhood, a skeletal diet, and a double mastectomy to do it.

Well the mastectomy thing was a low blow but despite being too skinny nowadays, Jolie is still a hundred times prettier than Aniston. By by all accounts a better person. And she's bisexual and a total freak. At least back in the day.


What? No. She might have been, but the bag of bones look kills the "prettier" real fast.
 
2014-02-22 02:00:50 PM  

sotua: She might have been, but the bag of bones look kills the "prettier" real fast.


So does slipping your brother the tongue.
 
2014-02-22 02:12:13 PM  

sotua: Mugato: OtherLittleGuy: ennifer won the long-term "Fist of an Angry God" contest over Angie, and it took motherhood, a skeletal diet, and a double mastectomy to do it.

Well the mastectomy thing was a low blow but despite being too skinny nowadays, Jolie is still a hundred times prettier than Aniston. By by all accounts a better person. And she's bisexual and a total freak. At least back in the day.

What? No. She might have been, but the bag of bones look kills the "prettier" real fast.


People lose and gain weight. Aniston will never lose her sour not-so-secretly-hates-you-and-herself demeanor and hollow empty smile.

Angelina was once a goddess and is still the prettiest face on every screen. She may be a loon or a skank but she's still more attractive.
 
2014-02-22 02:13:42 PM  

Mugato: She and Taylor Swift should form a support group.


Done right I could see that on Cinemax, HBO etc. With pillow and tickle fights while in their underwear and all that stuff that girls do together
 
2014-02-22 02:18:34 PM  

DubyaHater: Im_Gumby: [s2.postimg.org image 340x527]

[desmond.imageshack.us image 441x479]

[oi31.tinypic.com image 418x462]

/oblig

My girlfriend says she's straight, but Jennifer Aniston is the one woman she'd go lesbian for. I'm ok with this.




From what I understand this is fairly common. Maybe Jennifer is playing for the wrong team?
 
2014-02-22 02:42:05 PM  
Women can also have commitment issues. Film at 11.
 
2014-02-22 02:52:36 PM  

BumpInTheNight: *checks watch* Nope, still not time to care about a living typecast.

/would penis her, that scene in horrible bosses with the nothing but lab coat always leads to tent


She is just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute ;)
 
2014-02-22 02:53:20 PM  

Pimparoo: Women can also have commitment issues. Film at 11.


As in:  should be committed to a mental institution ;)
 
2014-02-22 03:47:16 PM  

Farkin_Crazy: sotua: She might have been, but the bag of bones look kills the "prettier" real fast.

So does slipping your brother the tongue.


Along with wearing a vial of blood.

Oh and the tattoos
 
2014-02-22 04:39:34 PM  

hasty ambush: Farkin_Crazy: sotua: She might have been, but the bag of bones look kills the "prettier" real fast.

So does slipping your brother the tongue.

Along with wearing a vial of blood.

Oh and the tattoos


Don't forget riding Billy Bob's Thornton.
 
2014-02-22 04:47:41 PM  

Far Cough: Angelina was once a goddess and is still the prettiest face on every screen. She may be a loon or a skank but she's still more attractive.


She may be a loon but she's married (or committed to ) a dude and let's face it, saves lives. I wouldn't call that a skank.
 
2014-02-22 04:56:14 PM  

Far Cough: OtherLittleGuy: Jennifer won the long-term "Fist of an Angry God" contest over Angie, and it took motherhood, a skeletal diet, and a double mastectomy to do it.

Nope, there's still that sour face to contend with.  No thanks, chewy nips notwithstanding.

This person's entire celebrity persona for the last, what, 15 years, is based on her being an old maid.  That's gotta hurt.


And this is why it's acceptable to make fun of her stony ground, seed-wise. She's had a role...perhaps the leading role...in using her troubles (assuming they even exist and aren't part of a PR campaign) to keep her middling post-Friends TV career in films top of mind. The "Poor Jen" thing is a manufactured trope, so really, I'm mocking a sort of Real Doll version of a tard cannon.

If there is a real Jennifer Aniston, it's not really someone I would care to know. Too much drama, and too repetitive.
 
2014-02-22 04:58:20 PM  

StinkyFiddlewinks: Valiente: Mugato: Shouldn't this get a sad tag for Jen's soon to be barren uterus?

The problem was apparently the challenge of designing a wedding dress capable of confining the bats and ghosts for the duration of the service.

That's quite likely to be the best and funniest thing I'll read all day.


I try to make my jokes cinematic, much like Aniston's choices.
 
2014-02-22 05:15:31 PM  
Would love to disappoint her.

/Jen, call me.
 
2014-02-22 05:21:54 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: Mugato: Shouldn't this get a sad tag for Jen's soon to be barren uterus?

I get the feeling that she's not interested in kids - that seemed to be one of the reasons Brad jumped ship for Angelina, because Jennifer wanted to focus on her career and Angie was willing to breed buy like a rabbit.

 
2014-02-22 05:23:14 PM  

Mugato: OtherLittleGuy: ennifer won the long-term "Fist of an Angry God" contest over Angie, and it took motherhood, a skeletal diet, and a double mastectomy to do it.

Well the mastectomy thing was a low blow but despite being too skinny nowadays, Jolie is still a hundred times prettier than Aniston. By by all accounts a better person. And she's bisexual and a total freak. At least back in the day.


Um, how 'bout no?

My wife and I have dinner at the resort that she stays at in San Jose del Cabo (Esperanza) and we actually saw her lounging at the pool while we were having pre-dinner drinks a couple of years ago. Let me tell you- pictures of her do NOT do her justice. She is devastating in person. Somewhat short in stature- 5'4"-5'5", but Jesus jumping CHRIST is she just GLOWING in person.

/csb
 
2014-02-22 05:26:26 PM  

Mugato: Far Cough: Angelina was once a goddess and is still the prettiest face on every screen. She may be a loon or a skank but she's still more attractive.

She may be a loon but she's married (or committed to ) a dude and let's face it, saves lives. I wouldn't call that a skank.


[Channels CNN comments]

But she adopted several kids that otherwise would have had very little chance of survival, so she's an evil, selfish skank. And all that charity work? I give a $20 each week to my local church.
 
2014-02-22 05:44:39 PM  
cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2014-02-22 06:09:18 PM  

hasty ambush: [cdn2-b.examiner.com image 538x350]


So... landing strip? Totally waxed? I'm guessing totally waxed.
 
2014-02-22 06:12:49 PM  
I'd put my weasel in her curtains
 
2014-02-22 06:26:16 PM  

darch: hasty ambush: [cdn2-b.examiner.com image 538x350]

So... landing strip? Totally waxed? I'm guessing totally waxed.


I like to imagine so, I like  a clean work area.
 
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