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(   What your coffee order says about you. Hipster, retro-cool or snob?   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, coffee order, snob, morally superior, coffee  
•       •       •

8023 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2014 at 12:56 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-22 01:09:07 AM  
11 votes:
I drank coffee before it was cool.

Burned my mouth pretty badly.
2014-02-22 08:14:25 AM  
4 votes:
googledrive.comView Full Size
2014-02-22 01:04:48 AM  
4 votes:
I like my coffee the way I like my women. Strong, bittersweet, and handed off to me by a tatted up hipster after he adds a little cream.
2014-02-22 07:50:44 AM  
3 votes:
weknowmemes.comView Full Size
2014-02-22 02:53:04 AM  
3 votes:

DreamyAltarBoy: Most Americans aren't even aware of Armenians.

Most Americans aren't even aware they have feet.
2014-02-22 10:03:06 AM  
2 votes:

Derkins: I'm sitting in Starbucks right now so I'm getting a kick...

that's racist

/americano from indonesian beans.
2014-02-22 08:09:59 AM  
2 votes:
I don't smoke- I've seen what happens to someone who dies from emphysema, not pretty.
I don't do drugs- My parents would have literally killed me when I was younger so I never really got into that.
I don't drink except on very rare occasions.

My only real vice: caffeine.
img.fark.netView Full Size
2014-02-22 02:03:57 AM  
2 votes:
Irish coffee.
Hold the coffee.
Leave the bottle.
2014-02-22 01:31:21 AM  
2 votes:
2014-02-22 01:43:29 PM  
1 vote:

Fark You I'm Drunk: Fark You I'm Drunk: Or you taste in men.

Your. fark me.


Go home, Fark You I'm Drunk, you're drunk.
2014-02-22 04:20:28 AM  
1 vote:
I only drink Starbucks and Peets.  Not because I'm a snob.  Because medium and low grade coffee does not stimulate my brain in a way in which I would pay even a dollar to have.
2014-02-22 03:16:12 AM  
1 vote:
Article should have been much shorter, like this:

Black coffee, no cream, no sugar: You're a manly man.
Anything else: You're either a girl or a homosexual.
2014-02-22 02:21:44 AM  
1 vote:
Just a damm cup of joe with cream and sugar.

I  smell old.
2014-02-22 01:36:26 AM  
1 vote:
Injected like am IV. Black, please.
2014-02-22 01:34:36 AM  
1 vote:
SFPD Inspector Callahan, black coffee drinker.

thepigmancometh.comView Full Size

Scene: Harry Callahan goes back into a diner where he just ordered and took out a coffee. He walks in to see a robbery is in progress in the diner.

Crook: What's you doing, you pighead sucka?

Harry Callahan: Every day for the past ten years, Loretta there's been giving me a large black coffee, today she gives me a large black coffee only it has sugar in it, a lotta sugar. I just came back to complain. Now, you boys put those guns down.

Crook: Say what?

Harry Callahan: Well, we're not just gonna let you walk out of here.

Crook: Whose we sucka?

Harry Callahan: [slowly drawing his .44 Magnum] Smith and Wesson... and me.
2014-02-22 01:30:13 AM  
1 vote:

ThatDarkFellow: LincolnLogolas: I did have the now-famous catshiat coffee some years ago. Got to try it for free. I have to admit it was a smooth cuppa.

smooth cuppa


Sodomize yourself

Already doing so. Typing one handed while sodomize myself with the other, fantasizing about my next cup of Kopi Luwak.
2014-02-22 01:23:38 AM  
1 vote:

Fark You I'm Drunk: Or you taste in men.

Your. fark me.

i1.ytimg.comView Full Size
2014-02-22 01:22:33 AM  
1 vote:
Locally roasted organic fair-trade cortado with enough steamed milk to make a little leaf design on top. Sugar or not, doesn't matter because I don't actually drink it, I just need something to post on my Instagram in the mornings.
2014-02-22 01:19:03 AM  
1 vote:
Black, and leave the pot, because you won't be able to keep it filled and cover your section otherwise.

lh6.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
2014-02-22 01:13:21 AM  
1 vote:
1. Turkish/Greek/Israeli (heavy sweetener) with chaser of water
2. Double espresso (a little cream and some splenda) (been told I should get a macchiato instead)
3. Drip with cream and splenda
4. Drip blended with cream, melted butter and perhaps melted coconut oil and splenda. (which is shockingly tasty)
2014-02-22 01:06:24 AM  
1 vote:

HotWingAgenda: I like my coffee the way I like my women. Strong, bittersweet, and handed off to me by a tatted up hipster after he adds a little cream.

I'd prefer my coffee to not be in my nose, thank you very much.
2014-02-22 01:04:50 AM  
1 vote:
My coffee says give it to me or people die. Black. No sugar, no cream, just farming coffee.
2014-02-21 11:53:05 PM  
1 vote:
Just give me a goddamned cup of coffee

/my order says I'm grumpy first thing in the morning
Displayed 23 of 23 comments

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