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(xoJane)   "Duke sucks" just took on a different meaning   (xojane.com) divider line 174
    More: Obvious, Duke University, freshman  
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14649 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2014 at 5:58 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-21 03:59:31 PM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-21 04:08:06 PM
The link makes me think I should bookmark this for later
 
2014-02-21 04:28:05 PM

dj_bigbird: The link makes me think I should bookmark this for later


me too.  much much later

/like when I'm in my bunk
 
2014-02-21 05:06:36 PM
Wow, she's winning big.  OK here goes:

I'd give her 90 seconds of disappointing empowerment, IYKWIMAITYD
 
2014-02-21 05:08:22 PM
someone who submitted this with pretty much the same headline a week ago.... No, modmins don't play favorites.
 
2014-02-21 05:19:25 PM
A few thoughts:

1. Either she has a golden career ahead of her as a writer, or this article has been heavily edited/upgraded/rewritten by a ghost writer. That was  not a piece written by an average 18 year old college freshman, even at Duke. I know, because I graded papers there for a couple of years.

2. I was more or less on board with her statements, evidence, and conclusions until this:

Society thus sets up a norm in which women simply cannot win.
We must question in this equation why sex workers are so brutally stigmatized. Why do we exclude them for jobs, education, and from mainstream society?
Why do we scorn, threaten and harass them?
Why do we deny them of their personhood?
Why does the thought of a woman having sexual experiences scare us so much?
The answer is simple.
Patriarchy fears female sexuality.



That's a theoretical conclusion that is in no way reached by the data offered.

First of all, that we  conflates a bunch of horny 18 year old Greek-affiliated males at a notably douchey school with everyone, which is bullshiat. Society as a whole spends a  lot of time promoting and supporting women, and comparing the positive whole to the one demographic that is certain to do otherwise is just poor rationale.

Second, sex workers are stigmatized because it has been a fact throughout all of human history that (1) people who exchange sex for money tend to make poor choices, and (2) such work is usually an occupation of last resort. Yes, porn workers are frequently exceptions to both rules. Yes, many porn workers love their jobs. But for every Jenna Jameson, there are 100 casting couch failures that are taken advantage of, used of their youth, and discarded without a second thought.

That the author happens to be an outlier from that trend doesn't mean that it is entirely invalid. If she were a truck driver, that wouldn't mean that most aren't overweight white males who smoke too much. If she were a professional basketball player, that wouldn't mean that most aren't very tall African-Americans, of whom many have a history of making poor financial decisions. Yes, exceptions  always exist, but there is some truth behind stereotypes, or they wouldn't exist. Nor is profiling always a bad thing.

Which brings me to my final point: if you make an argument that is essentially 'wah, people are narrow-minded and seeing me as a stereotype instead of the rare and special snowflake that I am' and then reach a conclusion that is in and of itself the very worst sort of narrow-minded stereotype, you're not doing anything but proving them right. "Patriarchy" is a word. It isn't a living entity. It isn't our societal system. And it certainly doesn't fear sexuality. In fact, if anything, patriarchy loves female sexuality, cuz there ain't nothing hotter than watching two of your biatchez go at it while you jerk an watch, amirite?

Simple fact: people that trade sex for money are called whores. You got called one, and you don't like it. Your situation may be more subtle than that, but...you still should expect it. People that take things from the rich to give to the poor are still thieves, people that drive for Uber are still cabbies, Bill Gates is still a college dropout. The title isn't who you are, but it's not entirely beyond the pale for people to use it either. Deal.

/I can't believe I wrote that much on a porn thread
//*rolls eyes at self*
 
2014-02-21 05:52:46 PM
"But why would you do porn?"

Was it money? I'm guessing money. It was money, wasn't it?
 
2014-02-21 06:05:49 PM
I think we should respect Betty Ann Walloon's request for privacy.
 
2014-02-21 06:07:44 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: someone who submitted this with pretty much the same headline a week ago.... No, modmins don't play favorites.


Sometimes you get a hot streak, sometimes you don't.  Right now I'm getting about a 100 rejections to each greenlight instead of my usual 20:1 ratio
 
2014-02-21 06:07:57 PM

whistleridge: Second, sex workers are stigmatized because it has been a fact throughout all of human history that (1) people who exchange sex for money tend to make poor choices, and (2) such work is usually an occupation of last resort. Yes, porn workers are frequently exceptions to both rules. Yes, many porn workers love their jobs. But for every Jenna Jameson, there are 100 casting couch failures that are taken advantage of, used of their youth, and discarded without a second thought.

That the author happens to be an outlier from that trend doesn't mean that it is entirely invalid. If she were a truck driver, that wouldn't mean that most aren't overweight white males who smoke too much. If she were a professional basketball player, that wouldn't mean that most aren't very tall African-Americans, of whom many have a history of making poor financial decisions. Yes, exceptions always exist, but there is some truth behind stereotypes, or they wouldn't exist. Nor is profiling always a bad thing.


Sooooo, because some women in porn are exploited, or make poor choices, they all deserve to be stigmatized? Not following your logic here.

I like this chick.
 
2014-02-21 06:08:52 PM

whistleridge: Either she has a golden career ahead of her as a writer, or this article has been heavily edited/upgraded/rewritten by a ghost writer.


It's identical in tone and writing style to just about everything that gets posted on xoJane. I'm not sure whether that's a comment on the editorial POV of the site, or the proclivities of those who are fans of the site and pitch stories to it.
 
2014-02-21 06:09:00 PM
TTIUWOP
 
2014-02-21 06:09:34 PM

Inchoate: whistleridge: Second, sex workers are stigmatized because it has been a fact throughout all of human history that (1) people who exchange sex for money tend to make poor choices, and (2) such work is usually an occupation of last resort. Yes, porn workers are frequently exceptions to both rules. Yes, many porn workers love their jobs. But for every Jenna Jameson, there are 100 casting couch failures that are taken advantage of, used of their youth, and discarded without a second thought.

That the author happens to be an outlier from that trend doesn't mean that it is entirely invalid. If she were a truck driver, that wouldn't mean that most aren't overweight white males who smoke too much. If she were a professional basketball player, that wouldn't mean that most aren't very tall African-Americans, of whom many have a history of making poor financial decisions. Yes, exceptions always exist, but there is some truth behind stereotypes, or they wouldn't exist. Nor is profiling always a bad thing.

Sooooo, because some women in porn are exploited, or make poor choices, they all deserve to be stigmatized? Not following your logic here.

I like this chick.


All people are exploited.  We just pretend it's a bad word and use it to "protect" people we look down upon.
 
2014-02-21 06:10:16 PM
Ok, Fark, don't let me down.  I need links to her work if I'm to understand whether she's being horribly used by the patriarchy or if she's an empowered woman who knows just what she's doing.
 
2014-02-21 06:11:10 PM

Trocadero: TTIUWOP


.
 
2014-02-21 06:15:10 PM
Less talk, more titties
 
2014-02-21 06:15:13 PM

Trocadero: TTIUWOP


The Tulips In Uzbekistan Will Oppress Petunias?

/I'll have a hit of whatever he's smoking
 
2014-02-21 06:15:45 PM

fusillade762: "But why would you do porn?"


Was it money? I'm guessing money. It was money, wasn't it?

l.wigflip.com
 
2014-02-21 06:18:55 PM
As an alum, this makes me proud.

I didn't get to screw people for money until after I left Duke.

/lawyer
 
2014-02-21 06:19:45 PM
Lori Meyers?

/obscure?
 
Rat
2014-02-21 06:22:29 PM
I clicked on the comments fully expecting a graphics heavy story line.  Not even so much as a youporn link.

©  for god sakes, don't make me do my own research!
 
2014-02-21 06:24:34 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: someone who submitted this with pretty much the same headline a week ago.... No, modmins don't play favorites.


Huh. I was wondering when this would show up - the story cropped up in my newsfeed on Monday, but I guess it got buried under the hoopla about the basketball team.

Not as much fun as the story of the Duke ugrad whose student aid package required her to work in one of the cafeterias. The locals working there took pity on her and let her work in the back, but one day due to people on vacation and such, she had to work the line - where her classmates saw her and made fun of her.

That story made you hate humanity.
 
2014-02-21 06:26:21 PM
So, you're a WHORE!

That's all you had to say...
 
2014-02-21 06:26:56 PM
Duke does, indeed, suck.
 
2014-02-21 06:28:00 PM

pottie: So, you're a WHORE!

That's all you had to say...


You say that like it's a bad thing.  Other than whores charge you for it and sluts give it away for free.  Yeah, whore is bad.  Long live the sluts!
 
2014-02-21 06:29:17 PM
Everyone has their kinks and we should not shame anyone for enjoying something that is perfectly legal and consensual for all parties involved.

I'd like to say that I completely agree, but when it comes to Bronies...

For me, shooting pornography brings me unimaginable joy. When I finish a scene, I know that I have done so and completed an honest day's work. It is my artistic outlet: my love, my happiness, my home.

To each her own.

I, like all other sex workers, want to be treated with dignity and respect. I want equal representation under the law and within societal institutions. I want people to acknowledge our humanity. I want people to listen to our unique narratives and dialogues.

I want to win the lottery. The odds of both of us getting what we want are pretty low.

What bugs me is the fact that many of this woman's critics don't see the hypocrisy of getting off on porn, then condemning those who create it.

I am going to graduate, I am going to pursue my dreams and I will hopefully galvanize change in a world wrought with gender norms and sexism.

I hope she succeeds.
 
2014-02-21 06:29:18 PM
... so what's her porn name?
 
2014-02-21 06:29:46 PM

Inchoate: whistleridge: Second, sex workers are stigmatized because it has been a fact throughout all of human history that (1) people who exchange sex for money tend to make poor choices, and (2) such work is usually an occupation of last resort. Yes, porn workers are frequently exceptions to both rules. Yes, many porn workers love their jobs. But for every Jenna Jameson, there are 100 casting couch failures that are taken advantage of, used of their youth, and discarded without a second thought.

That the author happens to be an outlier from that trend doesn't mean that it is entirely invalid. If she were a truck driver, that wouldn't mean that most aren't overweight white males who smoke too much. If she were a professional basketball player, that wouldn't mean that most aren't very tall African-Americans, of whom many have a history of making poor financial decisions. Yes, exceptions always exist, but there is some truth behind stereotypes, or they wouldn't exist. Nor is profiling always a bad thing.

Sooooo, because some women in porn are exploited, or make poor choices, they all deserve to be stigmatized? Not following your logic here.

I like this chick.


Me too.

She's pretty straightforward and logical. Except for not anticipating and just accepting the backlash. I'm thinking that's simply denial/wishful thinking.

I didn't make the same choices as her by far. But I damn sure accept them and would defend to the death her right to make them.

As far as all women's rights go - I was alive and of age when abortion was legalized. Many people won't shut up about that still, so I understand I won't be able to change anyones ideas concerning this.

/ look at your profile, Inchoate
// I need comma rehab
/// there, I said it
 
2014-02-21 06:29:53 PM
Good read. I'm not sure exactly what the bullies did, but I hope they get disciplined by the school, law or civil court, if appropriate (i.e., if what they did was bad, illegal and or damaging).
 
2014-02-21 06:30:45 PM
That is an ill-fitting bra....

/NTTAWWT
 
2014-02-21 06:34:49 PM

Inchoate: whistleridge: Second, sex workers are stigmatized because it has been a fact throughout all of human history that (1) people who exchange sex for money tend to make poor choices, and (2) such work is usually an occupation of last resort. Yes, porn workers are frequently exceptions to both rules. Yes, many porn workers love their jobs. But for every Jenna Jameson, there are 100 casting couch failures that are taken advantage of, used of their youth, and discarded without a second thought.

That the author happens to be an outlier from that trend doesn't mean that it is entirely invalid. If she were a truck driver, that wouldn't mean that most aren't overweight white males who smoke too much. If she were a professional basketball player, that wouldn't mean that most aren't very tall African-Americans, of whom many have a history of making poor financial decisions. Yes, exceptions always exist, but there is some truth behind stereotypes, or they wouldn't exist. Nor is profiling always a bad thing.

Sooooo, because some women in porn are exploited, or make poor choices, they all deserve to be stigmatized? Not following your logic here.

I like this chick.


No.

Because sex workers have been exploited for millennia, and that exploitation still exists today, and most people know nothing about the realities of porn OR sex workers, it's to be expected that they will confuse the two. Especially since there is definitely overlap between the two.

That's not stigma. It may be ignorance, but it's not entirely baseless ignorance. Instead of judging, she might try educating.
 
2014-02-21 06:37:44 PM
She sounds like she'll come out of this OK.
Sing it sister!
 
2014-02-21 06:40:15 PM
I am not ashamed of porn. On the contrary, doing pornography fulfills me

Isn't that what Sasha Grey used to say?  Whatever, if you're not ashamed, then good for you

That said, I vehemently want to have my privacy respected -- and I ask that anyone who knows my real name

Oh.  Let me tell you, I'm not ashamed of what I do.  Indeed, I get it published with my name in nice bold letters on the top of the paper.  You're not ashamed, that's why you get your stuff published under a fake name?
 
2014-02-21 06:41:25 PM

whistleridge: Inchoate: whistleridge: Second, sex workers are stigmatized because it has been a fact throughout all of human history that (1) people who exchange sex for money tend to make poor choices, and (2) such work is usually an occupation of last resort. Yes, porn workers are frequently exceptions to both rules. Yes, many porn workers love their jobs. But for every Jenna Jameson, there are 100 casting couch failures that are taken advantage of, used of their youth, and discarded without a second thought.

That the author happens to be an outlier from that trend doesn't mean that it is entirely invalid. If she were a truck driver, that wouldn't mean that most aren't overweight white males who smoke too much. If she were a professional basketball player, that wouldn't mean that most aren't very tall African-Americans, of whom many have a history of making poor financial decisions. Yes, exceptions always exist, but there is some truth behind stereotypes, or they wouldn't exist. Nor is profiling always a bad thing.

Sooooo, because some women in porn are exploited, or make poor choices, they all deserve to be stigmatized? Not following your logic here.

I like this chick.

No.

Because sex workers have been exploited for millennia, and that exploitation still exists today, and most people know nothing about the realities of porn OR sex workers, it's to be expected that they will confuse the two. Especially since there is definitely overlap between the two.

That's not stigma. It may be ignorance, but it's not entirely baseless ignorance. Instead of judging, she might try educating.


Nina Hartley, Stoya, and a number of other porn stars (former or otherwise) already do this.

Surprisingly little has changed.

Maybe if other people would pull their heads out of their asses long enough to listen to them...
 
2014-02-21 06:41:43 PM
Need more pics in here
 
2014-02-21 06:43:18 PM
FTA: "I am not ashamed of porn. On the contrary, doing pornography fulfills me. That said, I vehemently want to have my privacy respected -- and I ask that anyone who knows my real name respect the fact that I am only discussing this publicly because it was made a public matter when I was confronted by a fraternity member who chose to tell hundreds of other men in the Greek scene."

Thing #1 directed at Lauren A.: If you're truly not ashamed of your porn, then you shouldn't be ashamed of having your real name associated with your face and body. The days of anonymous porn ended decades ago. If you do it, you gotta own it and don't write otherwise.

Thing #2 direct at Duke Frat Boys: You all suck. Why do you care what someone else is doing? Actually, you don't really care except vis a vis getting your rocks off by slut shaming any woman you can.
 
2014-02-21 06:44:11 PM

medius: As an alum, this makes me proud.

I didn't get to screw people for money until after I left Duke.

/lawyer


Is that like a three strikes thing? You went to Duke, you're a lawyer, and you admitted to it?

I can't remember if that's in the rules somewhere, if that we're supposed to hate and or mock you now.
 
2014-02-21 06:46:15 PM
Something tells me she does cutesy little pink vibrator videos more than licking some dude's butthole for cash. NTTIAWWT.
 
2014-02-21 06:46:27 PM
She needs to watch the documentary Life After Porn and rethink this statement:

The next question is always: "But when you graduate, you won't be able to get a job, will you? I mean, who would hire you?"
I simply shrug and say, "I wouldn't want to work for someone who discriminates against sex workers."


You're going to be doing a lot of the latter, based on what's presented in the documentary.
 
2014-02-21 06:47:58 PM

whistleridge: That's not stigma. It may be ignorance, but it's not entirely baseless ignorance. Instead of judging, she might try educating.


The sneering dudebro on campus who unflinchingly refers to a student he found out is in porn as a "whore" is not the least bit interested in being educated on the exploitation of sex workers. Regardless of the context, words like that aren't thrown around publicly by people who have concern and legitimate curiosity for the plight of some in a similar circumstance.
 
2014-02-21 06:48:23 PM
There's two sets of women telling other women how to live. One one hand you have the feminists, who demand the politically correct lifestyle, political allegiance, suspicion of men, and a minimum amount of quinoa consumption. The other hand is the sorority brigade, who do all the things normal people do, but have to be part of their little club and be guided by it, otherwise become the enemy of that well connected and back-stabby club.

The vast majority of girls in college fit into neither of these groups, and sometimes they need to do suspect things in order to get by. This girl's issue was being found out and making a deal about it.

Don't for second believe that guys at certain schools don't have similar cliques going on.
 
2014-02-21 06:48:43 PM

strangeluck: medius: As an alum, this makes me proud.

I didn't get to screw people for money until after I left Duke.

/lawyer

Is that like a three strikes thing? You went to Duke, you're a lawyer, and you admitted to it?

I can't remember if that's in the rules somewhere, if that we're supposed to hate and or mock you now.


it cancels out, super-failing my way to cool

but this post cancels out the canceling-out

so...back to fail one
 
2014-02-21 06:48:47 PM
I read elsewhere that's she's a women's studies/sociology double major and a libertarian-leaning Republican.  I think one or the other of those will change pretty soon.
 
2014-02-21 06:49:55 PM
I'm the duke university freshman porn star and for the first time I'm telling the story in my words
I am a porn star. I am a college freshman. You know nothing about me.
Lauren A.


Huh. And here I though I knew her given name, university, that she's a freshman, and doing porn.
 
2014-02-21 06:51:43 PM
"I'd rather have my dignity and loans than work as a prostitute. I'm sure Daddy's proud."

That. Also, I look down on all sex workers equally.
 
2014-02-21 06:52:32 PM
Good letter. I wish her luck!
 
2014-02-21 06:53:00 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: someone who submitted this with pretty much the same headline a week ago.... No, modmins don't play favorites.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-21 06:53:50 PM

Clutch2013: Maybe if other people would pull their heads out of their asses long enough to listen to them...


The problem is she's spouting BS.  Here's her argument:

Her current job is:
supportive
exciting
thrilling
empowering
fulfilling
It brings unimaginable joy.
an honest day's work.
artistic outlet
my love
my happiness
my home
Pays $60,000+ a year

In summary: "I can honestly say that I have never felt more empowered or happy doing anything else."

Also, the day she graduates, she's quitting.

Seems legit.
 
2014-02-21 06:54:46 PM
I am a porn star. I am a college freshman. You know nothing about me.

Okay, next article. Subby deserves a punch in the face to linking to some neofeminist garbage like this.
 
2014-02-21 06:58:02 PM

Gary-L: She needs to watch the documentary Life After Porn and rethink this statement:

The next question is always: "But when you graduate, you won't be able to get a job, will you? I mean, who would hire you?"
I simply shrug and say, "I wouldn't want to work for someone who discriminates against sex workers."

You're going to be doing a lot of the latter, based on what's presented in the documentary.


Equally tough is getting out of the mindset that she is in. A young woman has to go "all in" if she does porn. Because of slut shaming, she has to believe that she really wants to be paid money to have sex on camera. However, after a few years of forcing yourself to believe this--in order to do the job, and probably against your better judgment and instincts--it becomes increasingly difficult to change that mindset once you want out of the business.

Good luck to her.

/and Fark, you are failing.
 
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