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(Guardian)   Even knowing this, you'll still do it on your first trip   (theguardian.com) divider line 182
    More: Silly, mental disorders, Godwin's Law  
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15170 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2014 at 5:54 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-21 08:02:22 PM  
I'd just ring the door bell as Hitlers dad is about to boink his mom.

Hitler never born, and no one the wiser.
 
2014-02-21 08:03:21 PM  

studebaker hoch: You can't take "your time" with you to another time any more than you can take "your space" to another location.

You leave one, and go to the other.

In our case, the only way we have to know what space we're in is our eyes.  The only way to know what time we're in is our memory.

If you travel distance, your eyes see the new space and can longer see where you were.
If you travel time, your memories are now in that time frame, and you can't remember any other timeline.

If you travel in space, you get "there".
If you travel in time, you get "then".


I think you are wrong.

How would those memories end up in your head if you never lived in that timeline?  After all, by traveling thru time you are not ending up being born in that time.  You would end up there with all your memories of your time line.

The primary issue I have with time travel is the energy involved.  Basically if you change the timeline you make the entire universe itself explode at every point in time after the point in time you change.
 
2014-02-21 08:03:42 PM  
My first trip will resemble Back to the Future's Biff, with my future self giving my past self money tips. Buy Microsoft stock and Google's, and Apple's stock right after Microsoft makes an investment in it. Then, since I guess I'll be rich then I';ll never have to worry about that bad relationship I had in my 20's because I'll never be working at that shiatty job I had. But that girl I was attracted to in college and didn't know until too late it was mutual: go for it.
 
2014-02-21 08:04:02 PM  
See the creepy-looking Jew defeating the honorable German soldier in the trenches ... stabbing him in the back.

Why does the "Jew" have boobs?
 
2014-02-21 08:04:49 PM  
Killing Woodrow Wilson before he got us into WW1 would be a better idea.
 
2014-02-21 08:06:43 PM  
Depends on how the universe responds to time meddling. BtF style, observe but try not to interact. The Doctor has no trouble, but that's because the universe is a projection from the TARDIS.

Now, you get to Heinlein's Circle of Oroborus, and reality was a series of backgrounds to storyteller milieus. There they could hand a condom to prevent the conception of a dictator and see it ends with nukes.

I can't wait for the new Peabody and Sherman cartoon. Potential for weird.
 
2014-02-21 08:07:12 PM  
If I went back in time, I wouldn't kill Hitler, I'd just try to convince him to use the Iron Cross as his symbol instead of the swastika.

/Actually, I'd push him more towards using a christian cross. More potential fun to be had with that.
 
2014-02-21 08:09:52 PM  
No one has mentioned wikihistory yet?  I am disappoint.
 
2014-02-21 08:11:06 PM  

stuffy: I'd just ring the door bell as Hitlers dad is about to boink his mom.

Hitler never born, and no one the wiser.


Go back to shortly before the Hitlers meet and became a couple and seduce Hitler's mom
 
2014-02-21 08:11:08 PM  

timujin: Lee451: David Gerrold did an excellent novel that explains time travel quite clearly: The Man Who Folded Himself

That is a fantastic book and greatly altered the way I saw time travel.  I loaned it out to a couple of friends in 9th grade and we spent hours discussing the possibilities.  It's still in print, too, though I have the edition from your link.


I also have it in pdf form.


/CSB: The sequence of events in the book started on my 16th birthday (May 19, 1976)
 
2014-02-21 08:13:54 PM  
If you go back you should kill Jack Spart.  The biggest asshole in history.
 
2014-02-21 08:13:59 PM  

derio42: No one has mentioned wikihistory yet?  I am disappoint.


It's the obligatory link up above.

He beat me to it.

In this timeline that is, Dun Dun DUN!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40
 
2014-02-21 08:20:38 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Disapproves.
 
2014-02-21 08:22:58 PM  
www.liveforfilms.com
 
2014-02-21 08:24:02 PM  
Can we kill Pol Pot? Ho Chi Min? Chairman Mao?
How about Pat Robertson's mother?
The entire 700 club?
Ray Croc?
The guy who shot Larry Flynt?
Lincoln?
So much work, so little time(travel).
 
2014-02-21 08:24:34 PM  
I would go back 15 minutes ago and kill myself before Iread this article/thread
 
2014-02-21 08:26:03 PM  
The past is obdurate.
 
2014-02-21 08:26:37 PM  

Oldiron_79: stuffy: I'd just ring the door bell as Hitlers dad is about to boink his mom.

Hitler never born, and no one the wiser.

Go back to shortly before the Hitlers meet and became a couple and seduce Hitler's mom


And become Hitler's father. Awkward!
 
2014-02-21 08:27:43 PM  
Show up when Hitler was 12 wearing a yarmulke, give him a hug, tell him you believe in him and that he can be great artist.
 
2014-02-21 08:28:43 PM  

DubtodaIll: It does make sense though, you kill Hitler (before he comes to power) and America doesn't have the Baby Boom.


Killing anyone, no matter how bad, in history is no way to use a time machine because the possibility is that life would be worse rather than better.  Therefore, if I had a time machine today, I would travel back to this past Wednesday and buy a winning ticket in the Powerball.  Upon return, I'd destroy it and go on with my life managing to eke out an existence drawing on my Powerball winnings of $400+ million.
 
2014-02-21 08:34:05 PM  

DubtodaIll: Something I've never seen anyone incorporate in to time travel is spatial location. Say you have a machine that can travel time. It had better be able to handle the vacuum of space because if you go back a few hundred years and you'll be millions of miles away from Earth if you arrive at the same spot from which you leave.


It's moving backwards in the 4th dimension that's the hard part. If you've mastered that direction in that dimension, the other three are already trivial. It's basically extrapolation. Heck, that extrapolation was already pretty much under basic control hundreds of years ago. So by the time one's got a time device, extrapolating some spatial coordinates onto a moving and rotating celestial body in the gravitational field imposed by many neighboring bodies from one time to another has got to be nothing more than calling an existing open source routine - it'll be that simple at that point.

/Just consider this to be the reason that most time travel stories don't worry about this spatial aspect.
It's just classical  mechanics really...
 
2014-02-21 08:34:13 PM  

Jeng: derio42: No one has mentioned wikihistory yet?  I am disappoint.

It's the obligatory link up above.

He beat me to it.


Point of order: issues related to previously linked articles ought to go in the archive forum.
 
2014-02-21 08:36:49 PM  

rattchett: Show up when Hitler was 12 wearing a yarmulke, give him a hug, tell him you believe in him and that he can be great artist.


Or just convince the art school admission officers in Vienna to let this one slide.
 
2014-02-21 08:40:10 PM  

gnosis301: Oldiron_79: stuffy: I'd just ring the door bell as Hitlers dad is about to boink his mom.

Hitler never born, and no one the wiser.

Go back to shortly before the Hitlers meet and became a couple and seduce Hitler's mom

And become Hitler's father. Awkward!


But you would be able to humbly brag that your penis saved several million people.
 
2014-02-21 08:46:37 PM  

Doc Batarang: DubtodaIll: Something I've never seen anyone incorporate in to time travel is spatial location. Say you have a machine that can travel time. It had better be able to handle the vacuum of space because if you go back a few hundred years and you'll be millions of miles away from Earth if you arrive at the same spot from which you leave.

There is a Twilight Zone short story about that. Everybody who enters the time machine door never returns after activating the machine, because they die in space before they can return and tell anyone.


Not to self: before testing time machine, have space probes in place monitoring earlier positions of Earth for incoming bodies.
 
2014-02-21 08:48:53 PM  

DubtodaIll: Something I've never seen anyone incorporate in to time travel is spatial location. Say you have a machine that can travel time. It had better be able to handle the vacuum of space because if you go back a few hundred years and you'll be millions of miles away from Earth if you arrive at the same spot from which you leave.


Space travel is needed even for trips of less than a second.
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=speed+of+earth%27s+movement+through+space
 
2014-02-21 08:49:19 PM  

studebaker hoch: Time and space are the same thing (or rather, time and distance).

If you move to another point in space, you're there.  You're not where you were.  Silly, right?


Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.
 
2014-02-21 08:56:02 PM  
I went back in time to 1490 to kill Velacuche, the man who discovered what is now known as the Velacucharan Empire.

/I guess I succeeded.
 
2014-02-21 08:57:13 PM  

WelldeadLink: DubtodaIll: Something I've never seen anyone incorporate in to time travel is spatial location. Say you have a machine that can travel time. It had better be able to handle the vacuum of space because if you go back a few hundred years and you'll be millions of miles away from Earth if you arrive at the same spot from which you leave.

Space travel is needed even for trips of less than a second.
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=speed+of+earth%27s+movement+through+space


You would be wrong on that. For about 45% of the Earth's surface at any given time, trips of 1 second would require tunneling machines to extract your corpse. (Areas on the forward half of the planet near the maximum circumference would allow you to pass through, but other forward sides just drive you into the core.)
 
2014-02-21 09:00:28 PM  

Jeng: studebaker hoch: You can't take "your time" with you to another time any more than you can take "your space" to another location.

You leave one, and go to the other.

In our case, the only way we have to know what space we're in is our eyes.  The only way to know what time we're in is our memory.

If you travel distance, your eyes see the new space and can longer see where you were.
If you travel time, your memories are now in that time frame, and you can't remember any other timeline.

If you travel in space, you get "there".
If you travel in time, you get "then".

I think you are wrong.

How would those memories end up in your head if you never lived in that timeline?  After all, by traveling thru time you are not ending up being born in that time.  You would end up there with all your memories of your time line.

The primary issue I have with time travel is the energy involved.  Basically if you change the timeline you make the entire universe itself explode at every point in time after the point in time you change.


...total pro tonic reversal? Is that what happens when you cross the time streams?
 
2014-02-21 09:07:54 PM  
Jeng

I think you are wrong.

How would those memories end up in your head if you never lived in that timeline? After all, by traveling thru time you are not ending up being born in that time. You would end up there with all your memories of your time line.


If you travel time, you end up in a place where you existed all along.  Just as surely as if you travel in distance, you are truly physically where you end up.  You won't know the difference.  Bringing your current temporal reference frame to another time would make about as much logical sense as bringing a point in space to another point in space.

The primary issue I have with time travel is the energy involved. Basically if you change the timeline you make the entire universe itself explode at every point in time after the point in time you change.

You're doing it the hard way.  You can time travel effortlessly and we do it all the time just by moving relative to a fixed reference frame.  The astronauts on the ISS move a (small) fraction of a second "into the future!" (echo effect here) on long missions.  They expend no energy to do this, they pay that ticket when they reached orbital velocity.  They return to earth in the future (according to us), but can't tell because as far as they're concerned they've been on that timeline all along.
 
2014-02-21 09:09:30 PM  

StopLurkListen: See the creepy-looking Jew defeating the honorable German soldier in the trenches ... stabbing him in the back.


img.fark.net

That Jew has some tittays!
 
Al!
2014-02-21 09:15:52 PM  

studebaker hoch: You can't take "your time" with you to another time any more than you can take "your space" to another location.

You leave one, and go to the other.

In our case, the only way we have to know what space we're in is our eyes.  The only way to know what time we're in is our memory.

If you travel distance, your eyes see the new space and can longer see where you were.
If you travel time, your memories are now in that time frame, and you can't remember any other timeline.

If you travel in space, you get "there".
If you travel in time, you get "then".


I bring to you as a counterpoint the fact that you are currently travelling through both space and time.  Whether sitting still or running at your fastest sprint, you can never overcome the inertia imparted to you by the great travelling spaceship we call Earth.  Also, as you travel through space, you are travelling ever forward in time, unable to stop it even if you wanted.  This seems to bring your position into serious question, as I remember a lot of things, and I am travelling through time.

We could get philosophical and question my memories' validity, but if that is the case I could argue that I am in fact having this discussion with myself, thus the point I take needs not be plausible, or even coherent.
 
2014-02-21 09:20:51 PM  
Screw it, I'll take personal gain instead. Stop myself from going out that night and meeting my ex.
 
2014-02-21 09:22:37 PM  

FuzedBox: Oops, correction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq1JhGNKs1s


First thing I thought of. :D

/Herr Hitler... is out of the way.
 
2014-02-21 09:34:33 PM  
I would do the world a solid and target Al Gore.  Thus stopping the whole internet.
 
2014-02-21 09:35:22 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: I'd give guns and electricity to Rome


They had electricity, actually.
 
2014-02-21 09:43:36 PM  

Stephen_Falken: If all we're allowed to do is kill someone, I'd go back to Persia in 630 BC and kill Zoroaster instead.


Why?
 
2014-02-21 09:44:35 PM  

vudukungfu: Are you kidding?
Kill baby Jesus with a M-60 and a few thousand rounds and doing it while wearing Hell's Angels regalia and colors.

Few thousand years later, they'll think twice about wishing upon a star.


Someone else would just come along and invent him anyway.
 
2014-02-21 09:46:05 PM  
Doesn't matter.

We exist in a multiverse. The point you travel to in the past would be a branch that would not include your own origin's time. Feel free to stomp on prehistoric bugs, kill your grandfather as a child, or find yourself and give new meaning to masturbation.

I suspect that if we are able to physically travel back in time, scientists will use history like a big sandbox, and observe the effects.  They will be "Alter-historians" and provide real feedback on how things might have turned out given alternative outcomes to key events.
 
2014-02-21 09:51:57 PM  
If Time Travel were possible we wouldn't be wondering about whether or not it's possible, now, would we?
 
2014-02-21 09:58:16 PM  

bratface: Stephen_Falken: If all we're allowed to do is kill someone, I'd go back to Persia in 630 BC and kill Zoroaster instead.

Why?


Perhaps so that those other religion-founding clowns don't get any funny ideas.
 
2014-02-21 09:59:21 PM  
My target list includes Saul of Tarsus, failing that John of Padmos.
 
2014-02-21 10:11:28 PM  

Solid State Vittles: I wanted this to be about acid.


That's where my mind went. I was thinking..."do another hit after 20 minutes of not feeling anything?"
 
2014-02-21 10:12:16 PM  

bratface: Stephen_Falken: If all we're allowed to do is kill someone, I'd go back to Persia in 630 BC and kill Zoroaster instead.

Why?


Yea, then there would be no Freddie Mercury.
 
2014-02-21 10:14:41 PM  
I'd go to the 16th century and give Nostradamus a glimpse into the future...

or did I?
 
2014-02-21 10:15:56 PM  
Since Hitler rise was, in a large part, a reactionary response to the threat of communist Russia and the spread of the communist ideology to Germany, killing both Lenin and Trotsky, would have prevent both, Hitler's and Stalin's ascent, thus, saving the lives of tens of millions.
 
2014-02-21 10:16:37 PM  
I like the theory that originally, Hitler didn't exist, and so the world was destroyed in a thermonuclear war.  So they actually trained a volunteer to be Hitler.  But Earth was still destroyed in a thermonuclear war.  So they had to train other genocidal maniacs all the way back to Genghis Khan.  A whole battalion of murderous tyrants, sent back in time to wipe out those bloodlines that would eventually destroy the world, one way or another.
 
2014-02-21 10:19:50 PM  

jaylectricity: Solid State Vittles: I wanted this to be about acid.

That's where my mind went. I was thinking..."do another hit after 20 minutes of not feeling anything?"



back in the day we dropped a few hits, one guy ended up in the emergency room from an accident.  It was bad enough for me to sitting in the waiting room tripping balls with his mother, can't imagine what he went though
 
2014-02-21 10:22:34 PM  

studebaker hoch: Spatial correlation wouldn't be a problem because time and space are linked.

People only think it's a problem because they're looking from the wrong coordinate system.

If you time travel back to 1930's Boston, you'll be in Boston, not space.  You would also have no idea you had time-traveled to get there.


Umm... Bostons IS in space, and so are you, and so am I.
 
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