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(All Africa)   Turns out you can get your weiner stuck in a hooker's gooch, requiring emergency services to get it out   (allafrica.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, emergency services, guesthouses  
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16779 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2014 at 12:58 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-21 01:14:06 PM  
10 votes:

JackieRabbit: It is a rare condition called penis captivus,


idigitalcitizen.files.wordpress.com

cf.imados.fr
2014-02-21 01:23:17 PM  
3 votes:

misanthropic1: unfarkingbelievable: JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.

Uh oh. Should I stop purposefully gripping my BF's cawk when we're doing it? He loves it though.

Depends; can you open walnuts by kegel alone?


theinfosphere.org
2014-02-21 01:20:32 PM  
3 votes:
"c'mere baby, let me stick my weiner in your gooch.  who's humping your gooch?  who's humping your gooch?  you like that?  you like to take weiner?  you need this wiener don't you?  oh, you're gonna get some weiner tonight.  aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyeaaaaaahhhhh.....give me that gooch, girl.  give me that gooch.  don't make me beg!  i need that gooch.  my weiner needs that gooch UNNFFFFFFFFFFFF"
2014-02-21 01:17:44 PM  
3 votes:

sincitynewbie: WTF is a gooch?


www.okaygreat.com
2014-02-21 01:16:33 PM  
3 votes:

JackieRabbit: Gives a whole new meaning to snapping pussy!


Anyone else seen these commercials for snapper lawn mowers?  Now,  I have seen a few snappers in my time.  I've yet to see one that will cut grass. Maybe a little edging after a party........


graphics8.nytimes.com


/miss ya Carlin
2014-02-21 01:02:06 PM  
3 votes:
Spray em with the hose!
2014-02-21 02:47:36 PM  
2 votes:

PainInTheASP: Should have just taken the couple to the local witch doctor.  Some chanting, a couple of turtle eggs, and blam!  Good as new.

/When in Rome...


Sounds like the problem is there was already too much ooh, ee, ooh, ahh ahh, wallawalla, bing-bang.
2014-02-21 01:59:58 PM  
2 votes:

Stoker: They only booked the room for 30 minutes? What the hell. Ya couldn't find a bush to go behind somewhere?


A bird in hand is worth two in the gooch.
-Rand Paul
2014-02-21 01:30:30 PM  
2 votes:
www.theawl.com
2014-02-21 01:06:48 PM  
2 votes:

sincitynewbie: gooch


It's not what it is, it's what it taint.
2014-02-21 01:05:32 PM  
2 votes:
This happened in the courthouse bathroom in Lexington, Tennessee between the at-that time Mayor and his mistress in the 2000s. He was going at it hard, she shifted, and he fractured his penile shaft inside her and swelled.

The EMS crew had to transport them still knotted together, which is a hilarious thought.
2014-02-21 12:49:28 PM  
2 votes:
Big or small, thick or thin, super glue will get it in.

9010survival.com
2014-02-21 02:39:19 PM  
1 vote:
Some of them attributed the cause of the incident to a curse placed either on the man or the woman and added that rituals had to be performed before they could be separated

A South African woman I worked with told me she had worked as a family planning volunteer back in SA many years ago.  She had demonstrated how to put a condom on using a broom handle for a 19yo woman who already had 3-4kids.

The woman came back pregnant some months later.  Apparently she thought putting a condom on a broom and setting it in the corner of the room was going to keep her from getting preggers while she had her boyfriend over.

*sigh*
2014-02-21 02:33:07 PM  
1 vote:
you mean a weasel in her curtains don't you?
2014-02-21 02:31:22 PM  
1 vote:
upload.wikimedia.org
Second from the left,  front row.
F. Wigglesworth Gooch.
Inventor of the Gooch Crucible.
You knew that.
2014-02-21 02:21:13 PM  
1 vote:
I thought the Gooch was Arnold's nemesis on Different Strokes
2014-02-21 02:12:41 PM  
1 vote:
Maybe she used this:www.oralcareshop.com

instead of this:www.meritpharm.com
2014-02-21 01:51:43 PM  
1 vote:

lordjupiter: hardinparamedic: ArcadianRefugee: I'm gonna file "penis captivus" along with "human spontaneous combustion".

While the term may be bullshiat, it's actually quite possible if they have a penile piercing, or if they have a penile shaft fracture while having sex.

I'm thiniing a piercing came loose and dug in.

Or, total bullshiat.


Penile shaft fracture. (NSFW: Shows an actual penile fracture in the article. Ouch)
2014-02-21 01:51:07 PM  
1 vote:
I'll take being stuck in the girl, please.

img.fark.net
2014-02-21 01:44:57 PM  
1 vote:

JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.


treasure.diylol.com
2014-02-21 01:32:29 PM  
1 vote:

lennavan: First thing I thought of was she forgot she was had an anti-rape device in there.  Don't google it if you don't want to know.


Huh... Learn something new everyday

img.fark.net
2014-02-21 01:24:33 PM  
1 vote:
www.gsmnation.com
2014-02-21 01:22:22 PM  
1 vote:
Well, that's knot something you see every day.
2014-02-21 01:21:47 PM  
1 vote:

unfarkingbelievable: JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.

Uh oh. Should I stop purposefully gripping my BF's cawk when we're doing it? He loves it though.


Depends; can you open walnuts by kegel alone?
2014-02-21 01:21:11 PM  
1 vote:

JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.


Yea... whatever. I'm telling all the guys at the bar that doctors called it 'penis maximus' and that I should watch where I stick that thing in the future.
2014-02-21 01:14:20 PM  
1 vote:

uncleacid: Have someone walk in with sawzall, you'll see that penis shrink.


Nah. Page urology. They have the tools to prick the prick.

synapse.koreamed.org
2014-02-21 01:04:01 PM  
1 vote:
Yeah.  That's why you never have sex with someone who charges by the hour.
2014-02-21 01:01:28 PM  
1 vote:
She just hadn't gotten off yet.
2014-02-21 12:59:36 PM  
1 vote:
Better disinfect the Jaws of Life after you're done.
2014-02-21 12:30:16 PM  
1 vote:
I don't think you know what a gooch is.
 
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