If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(All Africa)   Turns out you can get your weiner stuck in a hooker's gooch, requiring emergency services to get it out   (allafrica.com) divider line 118
    More: Scary, emergency services, guesthouses  
•       •       •

16728 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2014 at 12:58 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



118 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-21 12:30:16 PM  
I don't think you know what a gooch is.
 
2014-02-21 12:47:12 PM  
Should have just taken the couple to the local witch doctor.  Some chanting, a couple of turtle eggs, and blam!  Good as new.

/When in Rome...
 
2014-02-21 12:49:28 PM  
Big or small, thick or thin, super glue will get it in.

9010survival.com
 
2014-02-21 12:59:36 PM  
Better disinfect the Jaws of Life after you're done.
 
2014-02-21 12:59:52 PM  

PainInTheASP: Should have just taken the couple to the local witch doctor.  Some chanting, a couple of turtle eggs, and blam!  Good as new.

/When in Rome...


Pretty much what the article says they did.
 
2014-02-21 01:00:30 PM  
Gives a whole new meaning to snapping pussy!
 
2014-02-21 01:00:38 PM  
Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.
 
2014-02-21 01:00:48 PM  
Like the lustful doggies? Just get a neighbor to through cold water on them.
 
2014-02-21 01:01:28 PM  
She just hadn't gotten off yet.
 
2014-02-21 01:02:06 PM  
Spray em with the hose!
 
2014-02-21 01:02:26 PM  
And every word of that article is believed in Ghana.
 
2014-02-21 01:03:18 PM  
WTF is a gooch?

If I go my entire life and never come across that word again, I'll be happy.
 
2014-02-21 01:03:50 PM  
They just didn't want to pay for more time on the room.
 
2014-02-21 01:03:53 PM  
was this the chick from the lift weights with your p*ssy thread from a week or so ago?
 
2014-02-21 01:04:01 PM  
Yeah.  That's why you never have sex with someone who charges by the hour.
 
2014-02-21 01:05:32 PM  
This happened in the courthouse bathroom in Lexington, Tennessee between the at-that time Mayor and his mistress in the 2000s. He was going at it hard, she shifted, and he fractured his penile shaft inside her and swelled.

The EMS crew had to transport them still knotted together, which is a hilarious thought.
 
2014-02-21 01:05:46 PM  
"Gooch?" Did Pam submit this article?
 
2014-02-21 01:05:59 PM  
I bet she increased her rates from all that free publicity.
 
2014-02-21 01:06:40 PM  
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-02-21 01:06:46 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Big or small, thick or thin, super glue will get it in.



The KRAGL!  is it Taco Tuesday?  "Everything is AWESOME!!!

/obscure>?
 
2014-02-21 01:06:48 PM  

sincitynewbie: gooch


It's not what it is, it's what it taint.
 
2014-02-21 01:06:57 PM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.


It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.
 
2014-02-21 01:07:08 PM  
Vagina dentata?
 
2014-02-21 01:07:42 PM  
I thought the gooch was the same thing as a grundle. Am I wrong? I don't ever hear "gooch" in conversation.
 
2014-02-21 01:09:53 PM  
Reading that, I heard the voice of a Nigerian prince.
 
2014-02-21 01:10:37 PM  

JackieRabbit: intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.


gyatdamn!  Dammit girl pussy be bitin'!  Bitin'!  Bitin' a mufrkkah!
 
2014-02-21 01:10:54 PM  
Why do women have hair down there?

To hide the hook!

/ba dum tish
 
2014-02-21 01:11:32 PM  
FTA:  Some of them attributed the cause of the incident to a curse placed either on the man or the woman and added that rituals had to be performed before they could be separated.


Sounds legit.
 
2014-02-21 01:12:05 PM  

menschenfresser: I thought the gooch was the same thing as a grundle. Am I wrong? I don't ever hear "gooch" in conversation.


I believe you to be correct. I have also heard the use of Taint frequently and on some occasions, Brunswick.
 
2014-02-21 01:12:18 PM  
Have someone walk in with sawzall, you'll see that penis shrink.
 
2014-02-21 01:13:26 PM  
I can think of a few other places where it would be worse to get your penis stuck.....like SUBBY'S MOM!!!!
 
2014-02-21 01:14:06 PM  

JackieRabbit: It is a rare condition called penis captivus,


idigitalcitizen.files.wordpress.com

cf.imados.fr
 
2014-02-21 01:14:20 PM  

uncleacid: Have someone walk in with sawzall, you'll see that penis shrink.


Nah. Page urology. They have the tools to prick the prick.

synapse.koreamed.org
 
2014-02-21 01:15:29 PM  

JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.


.....strangely aroused.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-21 01:15:37 PM  

JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.


Well damn... it seems like for a second someone is having A LOT of fun... then disaster.
 
2014-02-21 01:16:02 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Big or small, thick or thin, super glue will get it in.

[9010survival.com image 500x500]


You mean that's not Lube?

The article read like it written on another planet.  Obviously, Ghana is a place where everybody gets involved when something happens.  You got the merchants and customers rushing from the market to the hotel, after the big mouth clerk tells everybody the guy has his wang wedged into the woman.  And, WAIT FOR IT, a curse is involved.  Now, from my point of view, depending on the woman, this might not be such a bad thing.  I'm sure somebody's BIL had to be called to straighten out the situation. For a small fee, of course.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-21 01:16:14 PM  
Exotic women and vagina dentata.  OH MY GOD IT'S ALL TRUE!!
 
2014-02-21 01:16:33 PM  

JackieRabbit: Gives a whole new meaning to snapping pussy!


Anyone else seen these commercials for snapper lawn mowers?  Now,  I have seen a few snappers in my time.  I've yet to see one that will cut grass. Maybe a little edging after a party........


graphics8.nytimes.com


/miss ya Carlin
 
2014-02-21 01:17:44 PM  

sincitynewbie: WTF is a gooch?


www.okaygreat.com
 
2014-02-21 01:17:54 PM  

JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.


Uh oh. Should I stop purposefully gripping my BF's cawk when we're doing it? He loves it though.
 
2014-02-21 01:18:43 PM  
First thing I thought of was she forgot she was had an anti-rape device in there.  Don't google it if you don't want to know.
 
2014-02-21 01:19:02 PM  

hardinparamedic: uncleacid: Have someone walk in with sawzall, you'll see that penis shrink.

Nah. Page urology. They have the tools to prick the prick.

[synapse.koreamed.org image 397x395]



That image caused me to cringe.

/howboutno.jpg
 
2014-02-21 01:19:42 PM  
cinemagumbo.squarespace.com
 
2014-02-21 01:20:32 PM  
"c'mere baby, let me stick my weiner in your gooch.  who's humping your gooch?  who's humping your gooch?  you like that?  you like to take weiner?  you need this wiener don't you?  oh, you're gonna get some weiner tonight.  aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyeaaaaaahhhhh.....give me that gooch, girl.  give me that gooch.  don't make me beg!  i need that gooch.  my weiner needs that gooch UNNFFFFFFFFFFFF"
 
2014-02-21 01:21:11 PM  

JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.


Yea... whatever. I'm telling all the guys at the bar that doctors called it 'penis maximus' and that I should watch where I stick that thing in the future.
 
2014-02-21 01:21:47 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.

Uh oh. Should I stop purposefully gripping my BF's cawk when we're doing it? He loves it though.


Depends; can you open walnuts by kegel alone?
 
2014-02-21 01:21:59 PM  

rickythepenguin: "c'mere baby, let me stick my weiner in your gooch.  who's humping your gooch?  who's humping your gooch?  you like that?  you like to take weiner?  you need this wiener don't you?  oh, you're gonna get some weiner tonight.  aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyeaaaaaahhhhh.....give me that gooch, girl.  give me that gooch.  don't make me beg!  i need that gooch.  my weiner needs that gooch UNNFFFFFFFFFFFF"


I laughed and cringed all at once.
 
2014-02-21 01:22:22 PM  
Well, that's knot something you see every day.
 
2014-02-21 01:22:54 PM  
I saw it happen with two dogs once when I had a brief stint living in Maine. The girl who lived in the house ran in and got a bucket of cold water and poured it over the dogs. It did the trick. I asked how she knew to do that, and she said that having grown up on a farm, she'd seen it happen a few times before.
 
2014-02-21 01:23:17 PM  

misanthropic1: unfarkingbelievable: JackieRabbit: Uchiha_Cycliste: Until I see a doctor's input, I'm calling bullshiat.

It is a rare condition called penis captivus, which is a result of an intense vaginal contraction (vaginismus) that is so powerful, it grips the penis so that it cannot be withdrawn.

Uh oh. Should I stop purposefully gripping my BF's cawk when we're doing it? He loves it though.

Depends; can you open walnuts by kegel alone?


theinfosphere.org
 
Displayed 50 of 118 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report