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(Herald Scotland)   "Shocked woman finds weasel in her curtains." It's not a euphemism, but it sure sounds like one   (heraldscotland.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, weasels, Scottish SPCA  
•       •       •

5137 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2014 at 11:07 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-02-21 09:56:01 AM  
Did they rip her flesh?
 
2014-02-21 10:29:57 AM  
It will be now

/curtain weasel
 
2014-02-21 11:09:15 AM  
Is that a weasel in your curtains or are you just glad to see me?
 
2014-02-21 11:09:29 AM  
Faces filled with joy and cheer
What a magical time of year
Howdy Ho! It's Weasel Stomping Day

Put your Viking helmet on
Spread that mayonaisse on the lawn
Don't you know it's Weasel Stomping Day

All the little girls and boys
Love that wonderful crunching noise
You'll know what this day's about
When you stomp a weasel's guts right out

So, come along and have a laugh
Snap their weasely spines in half
Grap your boots and stomp your cares away
Hip hip hooray, it's Weasel Stomping Day

[Sounds of weasels getting stomped on, with bone-crunching and rodent-screeching effects]

People love them down the street
Crushing weasels beneath their feet
Why we do it, who can say?
But it's such a festive holiday

So let the stomping fun begin
Bash their weasely skulls right in
It's tradition, that makes it okay

Hey everyone, it's Weasel Stomping
We'll have some fun on Weasel Stomping
Put down your gun, it's Weasel Stomping Day
Hip Hip Hooray, it's Weasel Stomping Day

Weasel Stomping Day
Hey!
 
2014-02-21 11:11:08 AM  
So? I just found a snake in my pants.
 
2014-02-21 11:11:18 AM  
img.cache.vevo.com
 
2014-02-21 11:11:57 AM  
So she married her boss?
 
2014-02-21 11:13:58 AM  
And one in the stink.
 
2014-02-21 11:15:02 AM  
"It seems he must have come in through the lady's door when she left it open"

Just because she left her door open does not give you permission to come in.
 
2014-02-21 11:15:04 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-21 11:15:15 AM  
That's not unlike having a stoat in your drapes or a ferret in your vertical blinds.
 
2014-02-21 11:15:54 AM  

Ghastly: And one in the stink.


i.imgur.com

Caturday comes early and so did the cat. /sleepy time
 
2014-02-21 11:17:15 AM  
One morning while driving, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me had a story about a woman who found a live bat lodged in her bra.  She said she though all the movement was her cell phone vibrating.

At that exact moment my phone (in my pocket) vibrated.

I very nearly shiat myself.
 
2014-02-21 11:20:37 AM  
img.fark.net
And before anyone asks:  I don't know.
 
2014-02-21 11:23:17 AM  
Nice beaver weasel.
 
2014-02-21 11:24:17 AM  
i.ytimg.com

Have you got a weasel in your curtains?

No. No.  This is a tobacconist

Ack, Yah!  Have you got a weasel in your tobacconist?
 
2014-02-21 11:26:42 AM  
Shock the weasel, not the woman!
 
2014-02-21 11:26:47 AM  
My trouser weasel in her meat curtains.
got it,....


Is She Hot?!?!?
 
2014-02-21 11:33:11 AM  
And how he got there I'll never know

img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-21 11:34:11 AM  
I'm surprised the weasel didn't find some cunning, if slightly underhanded, way to extricate itself from the situation.
 
2014-02-21 11:38:28 AM  
i266.photobucket.com

I could not have done it more crappily.  But someone had to step up to the plate and kick it through the goal post for a hole in one.
 
2014-02-21 11:43:13 AM  
Some would deem it Michael Dorn's finest performance:

i1.cpcache.com
 
2014-02-21 11:43:13 AM  
I think the weasel is adorable.
 
2014-02-21 11:44:15 AM  

JackieRabbit: So? I just found a snake in my pants.


garter snake
 
2014-02-21 11:54:11 AM  

Abuse Liability: "It seems he must have come in through the lady's door when she left it open"

Just because she left her door open does not give you permission to come in.


Especially the back door.
 
2014-02-21 11:57:30 AM  
Weasels?  In my curtains?

/it's more likely than you think
 
2014-02-21 11:59:22 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: But someone had to step up to the plate and kick it through the goal post for a hole in one.


Checkmate!
 
2014-02-21 12:01:22 PM  
"Anyone who discovers an injured or distressed animal should call the Scottish SPCA Animal Helpline on 03000 999 999"

I thought it was 03000  0118 999 881 99 9119 72530118 999 881 99 9119 725 3.
 
2014-02-21 12:02:24 PM  

JackieRabbit: So? I just found a snake in my pants.


Can I introduce you to the Scottish lady? Could work out for boffa ya.
 
2014-02-21 12:08:24 PM  
www.zappa.com
 
2014-02-21 12:08:50 PM  

pjc51: Harry Freakstorm: But someone had to step up to the plate and kick it through the goal post for a hole in one.

Checkmate!


Dang!  Turns out I was just another pawn in your maniacal game of checkers.
 
2014-02-21 12:13:19 PM  
It's curtains for you, Elie!
images.wegiveadamn.org
 
2014-02-21 12:14:34 PM  
They sure do like the word "weasel" - it was in that lil article 8 times.

/weasel
 
2014-02-21 12:15:57 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-21 12:19:08 PM  
The Curtain Weasel* by Ronco!

Keeps your curtains free of mice and other pests.

It weasels, it whizzles, it tweezles and twizzles.

It toddles, twaddles and twiddles.

Order now and we will include a free assortment of stoats, Croats, groats, moats, oats, boats, floats, and coats as well as any other unsold crap we have lying around the warehouse taking up valuable Weasel space.

*Not to be confused with the Garden Weasel, who will try to sell you useless garden tools if you let him into your home.


4.bp.blogspot.com

What a Garden Weasel looks like

 
2014-02-21 12:32:05 PM  
Makes me kind of miss having ferrets.

img.fark.net

I do NOT miss cleaning ferret cages every day.
 
2014-02-21 12:34:01 PM  

ristst: One morning while driving, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me had a story about a woman who found a live bat lodged in her bra.  She said she though all the movement was her cell phone vibrating.

At that exact moment my phone (in my pocket) vibrated.

I very nearly shiat myself.


That's funny as hell.  I LOL'd - out loud.
 
2014-02-21 12:39:20 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-21 12:39:39 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: [i266.photobucket.com image 640x268]

I could not have done it more crappily.  But someone had to step up to the plate and kick it through the goal post for a hole in one.


FTFY

Aren't you mixing metaphors just a tad -- football and golf
 
2014-02-21 01:14:24 PM  

notyomama: ristst: One morning while driving, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me had a story about a woman who found a live bat lodged in her bra.  She said she though all the movement was her cell phone vibrating.

At that exact moment my phone (in my pocket) vibrated.

I very nearly shiat myself.

That's funny as hell.  I LOL'd - out loud.


I can say truthfully, it scared the living crap outta me...I jumped so hard I nearly lost control of the car.  I've been having a good laugh about it ever since.
 
2014-02-21 01:56:20 PM  

johnny_vegas: JackieRabbit: So? I just found a snake in my pants.

garter snake


Nah, it's more of a ring-necked snake.

srelherp.uga.edu

/that's an adult one.
 
2014-02-21 02:07:17 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Did they rip her flesh?


Came for this.  Not disappointed.

/Would make a jazz sound here, but he can't do that on stage anymore.
 
2014-02-21 07:01:44 PM  
At least it wasn't in the beef curtains.
 
2014-02-21 07:21:40 PM  
If she has a beef with it, she should try squeezing a ferret between the mudflaps.
 
2014-02-22 12:16:53 AM  
What a small weasel may look like:

i.imgur.com

What Galactus as a weasel may look like:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-22 10:18:13 AM  
Do the curtains match the drapes?
 
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