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(Mother Nature Network)   It was only a matter of time: Company will start charging a 'members-only' fee for people who want to use luxury bathrooms located across Manhattan. Reservations preferred but some drop-ins are allowed   (mnn.com) divider line 49
    More: Cool, Manhattan, Penn Station, bathrooms, fees  
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49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2014-02-21 09:48:48 AM
Hey, my grandfather's old joke of saying "drop my name at the door and you'll get a good seat" whenever you went to the bathroom might actually be true now.
 
2014-02-21 10:02:26 AM
shiatter's Club
 
2014-02-21 10:02:52 AM
Ok. I'll start.

Pay 'n Poop.
 
2014-02-21 10:02:54 AM
A chain of member-only bathrooms that are clean, private, and nicely appointed does sound like an interesting business plan. I might be talked into joining depending on the price and distribution.
 
2014-02-21 10:03:04 AM
If you build it, I will cum.

/all over the rim
 
2014-02-21 10:03:21 AM
Lets see... a $15.00 annual membership fee - O.K.

a $6.00 per visit fee, WTF?
 
2014-02-21 10:03:31 AM
Will they provide a Members Only jacket for my pooping comfort?
 
2014-02-21 10:05:40 AM
postgradproblems.com

Approves.
 
2014-02-21 10:06:08 AM
They need Telly Savalas as the spokesman.
 
2014-02-21 10:07:52 AM
Repeat?

A number two, if you will.
 
2014-02-21 10:10:15 AM
Under Sochi rules, the $15 Annual fee will include many disappointments and unconnected plumbing, plus the how-much-toilet-paper-can-we-put-down-this-thing-before-it-backs-up scientists from the local elementary school.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2014-02-21 10:12:34 AM

Cold_Sassy: a $6.00 per visit fee, WTF?


For a place with a shower and a storage locker?   Not remotely the most overpriced thing in Manhattan.
 
2014-02-21 10:14:19 AM
And we move one step closer to Snowcrash.
 
2014-02-21 10:18:36 AM
This is greenlight #2 for this story.
 
2014-02-21 10:18:48 AM
Tragedy of the commons.

There are some farking stupid FERAL selfish sub humans out there.

All public dunnies should have a caretaker on duty at all times. A very quick inspection at the conclusion of each "visit", while the user remains in a locked booth. If the caretaker discovers shiat smeared walls or some other crime against humanity THEN THE USER GETS HANDED CLEANING EQUIPMENT.

http://www.ratemypoo.com/
 
2014-02-21 10:20:57 AM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

"I don't want to pay $15 for bathroom #9"
"I don't want to pay $15 for bathroom #9"
"I don't want to pay $15 for bathroom #9"
 
2014-02-21 10:21:13 AM
Something something Pete and Repeat...
 
2014-02-21 10:24:54 AM
They better have seat warmers and tv's in the stalls.
 
2014-02-21 10:27:29 AM
I was invited to speak at a conference in San Diego, and one of the hosts invited me out to dine at an exclusive restaurant.  Non-descript entrance and two flights of stairs up.  After the meal while the other folks continued to sip drinks and chat, I excused myself then back down and outside for a few puffs on a cigar.

Then I developed a sudden urge to um, "micturate."  So I tried to go back inside, but the door was locked.  They were shutting down for the night and expecting no other guests.  No more greeter downstairs, and no farkin' doorbell.

Fortunately there was a dark alley nearby, but I kept fearing that cops with bright lights would appear and arrest me for public indecency, or something.  Think I would rather have paid $6 to use a loo.
 
2014-02-21 10:27:42 AM
Public restrooms are sometimes horrifying. I'd pay it.
Next up, outrage from the homeless because they can't use them.
 
2014-02-21 10:33:48 AM

Big Ramifications: Tragedy of the commons.

There are some farking stupid FERAL selfish sub humans out there.

All public dunnies should have a caretaker on duty at all times. A very quick inspection at the conclusion of each "visit", while the user remains in a locked booth. If the caretaker discovers shiat smeared walls or some other crime against humanity THEN THE USER GETS HANDED CLEANING EQUIPMENT.

http://www.ratemypoo.com/


The fitness center bathroom in my condo was having a problem with fecal covered walls for a while. Turned out that one of the employees at the mortgage company that rented a ground level retail space was doing it. They didn't even have a contractual right to use the fitness center, the association extended use as a courtesy and this guy paid back the kindness by coating the walls with his crap. Apparently he was one of the higher ups in the company and had no reason to be mad at the condo association. He just liked spraying walls with shait. As far as I know he didn't get fired but no one from the company is allowed past the entry lobby of the ground floor anymore.
 
2014-02-21 10:38:44 AM
OK, we need one Farker to get a membership so we can leave upper-deckers all over the city
 
2014-02-21 10:39:18 AM
Well that will make cruising for butt-sex much nicer
 
2014-02-21 10:39:37 AM
Snowcrash
 
2014-02-21 10:53:43 AM
And they say that America is no longer #1 in innovation....
 
2014-02-21 10:54:46 AM
There is no way these will be used as cheap office space for lewd or illicit activities. No way.
 
2014-02-21 10:57:55 AM
What the deuce?!
 
2014-02-21 11:00:00 AM

lilplatinum: Cold_Sassy: a $6.00 per visit fee, WTF?

For a place with a shower and a storage locker?   Not remotely the most overpriced thing in Manhattan.


I though that was just to "go".  I guess if you shower and store stuff it's not too bad.
 
2014-02-21 11:04:05 AM

EngineerAU: Big Ramifications: Tragedy of the commons.

There are some farking stupid FERAL selfish sub humans out there.

All public dunnies should have a caretaker on duty at all times. A very quick inspection at the conclusion of each "visit", while the user remains in a locked booth. If the caretaker discovers shiat smeared walls or some other crime against humanity THEN THE USER GETS HANDED CLEANING EQUIPMENT.

http://www.ratemypoo.com/

The fitness center bathroom in my condo was having a problem with fecal covered walls for a while. Turned out that one of the employees at the mortgage company that rented a ground level retail space was doing it. They didn't even have a contractual right to use the fitness center, the association extended use as a courtesy and this guy paid back the kindness by coating the walls with his crap. Apparently he was one of the higher ups in the company and had no reason to be mad at the condo association. He just liked spraying walls with shait. As far as I know he didn't get fired but no one from the company is allowed past the entry lobby of the ground floor anymore.


Two words:  mental illness  http://www.medhelp.org/tags/show/36159/smearing-feces-on-walls
 
2014-02-21 11:09:09 AM
We didn't have to pay a fee when I was a kid.
img.fark.net
 /If you don't get it, ask your parents.
 
2014-02-21 11:11:35 AM
http://www.2theloo.com/ is a dutch company that does that.
 
2014-02-21 11:14:42 AM
Will they accept BitCoin?
 
2014-02-21 11:19:43 AM
I tell everyone this who is in a major city, especially someone in NYC: find a hotel and use their lobby bathrooms. You're never hassled about using them, the bathrooms are easy to find without asking and usually unlocked, and since they are cleaned by housekeeping all day long they are usually the cleanest public restrooms. Even in Europe I had no hassles just walking in a hotel to use their restrooms. In NYC I won't even bother going to a restaurant to use their bathrooms.
 
2014-02-21 11:21:31 AM

dbrunker: We didn't have to pay a fee when I was a kid.
[img.fark.net image 450x600]
 /If you don't get it, ask your parents.


I got rid of my last jacket in the late 1990s as it was worn out.

You can be a member for only $60
 
2014-02-21 11:25:16 AM

lilplatinum: Cold_Sassy: a $6.00 per visit fee, WTF?

For a place with a shower and a storage locker?   Not remotely the most overpriced thing in Manhattan.


I think the WTF was compared to the fact that annually it is only $15, their pricing scale seems to be a little broken... It's confusing me as well. Do you get the same for a little over $1/moth that you get for $6 a pop poop?
 
2014-02-21 11:29:19 AM
They'll also boast motion-sensor faucets and toilet flushers, powerful hand-dryers, and charging stations so that you can power up your smartphone while seeing a man about a horse.

I remember the first time I heard this... I could not for the life of me figure out why my dad was going into a convenience store to talk to someone about a farking horse, but then again, we were getting a HORSE!

Imagine my disappointment when he came out and no horse...
 
2014-02-21 11:33:01 AM
If I have to send logs down the river right now, the last thing I want is for the can to be all the way across Manhattan.
 
2014-02-21 11:39:51 AM

Big Ramifications: Tragedy of the commons.

There are some farking stupid FERAL selfish sub humans out there.


Yeah there are some nasty ass people that do some horrific things in bathrooms. I dont think this company would have gotten to this point without good reason. That one guy that takes POV videos of him pissing all over bathrooms is a good example of it.
 
2014-02-21 11:45:39 AM
Yeah, well, I'd bet a rich guy can wreck a stall just as completely as a poor.
 
2014-02-21 11:51:04 AM

ChrisDe: [postgradproblems.com image 523x344]

Approves.


my first thought...well, the character, not the scene. i was thinking more along the lines of when he tells jerry to name an area in the city and he'll name the best bathroom
 
2014-02-21 11:59:29 AM

fifthhorseman: And we move one step closer to Snowcrash.


Storage locker = tiny house.
 
2014-02-21 12:01:26 PM
 
2014-02-21 12:18:23 PM
Thats ok.

I can just pee on the door of the bathroom.
 
2014-02-21 12:20:58 PM
Who needs to pay for membership when you have the equivalent to the AMEX Black Card in your pocket?

www.myibd.org
 
2014-02-21 12:36:11 PM
Will there be two-way mirrors or view screens so I can mock the plebes while I'm on the throne?

archive.neoaztlan.com
 
2014-02-21 12:38:17 PM
It sounds like an organized, stupidly expensive version of the old ladies that tend pay restrooms all over Europe. You give them a little coin and in exchange you use a bathroom that is hopefully at least marginally clean, stocked with toilet paper, etc. The free toilets are often filthy hellholes that make you grateful for the ones with old ladies wanting 50 cents.
 
2014-02-21 12:42:05 PM
When I was in Europe in the 1980s they had a sort of high class pay toilet like a solidly built portable toilet. It was self-cleaning and looked very much like the Suicide Booths on Futurama, only it cost more. In places like China and Japan, they have public showers on the same basic plan so you could freshen up for an important meeting even if you didn't have time for a bath house or access to a private shower.

I expect that they would have more problems with theft and vandalism if they tried that in New York, but it was a great convenience where restaurant and store owners didn't provide public conveniences for non-clients.

Speaking of urine, the public urinals so famous in places like France were named Vespasiennes after the Emperor Vespasian, a Roman General who first collected a tax on urine. ("The money doesn't stink." he said when criticized for this.) The urine was used in industry, for fixing dyes, etc.

The urine of nine-year-boys contains a chemical that was (and is) used to fix Indigo, the gorgeous blue dye of India. They have to use the urine of pre-pubescent boys because they are the only ones to produce this particular chemical.

You could probably make some money off of the urine collected even today. Humans excrete a tremendous number of chemicals from drugs, food or their bodily chemistry. If you could sort and purify this stuff, you could make a fair profit.

Fecal matter was once used as fertilizer and could be processed as fuel or fertilizer even today provided you could kill germs and destroy viruses in the process.

It may seem unseemly, but this is an example of the free market in action. Just as in a jungle one plant or animals waste is another species energy supply, society needs scavengers to reduce waste and pollution.

We used to have whole industries (bone collectors, dog shiat collectors, paper and cloth recyclers, etc.) based on the economical sorting and refurbishing of waste materials, but the "consumer society" aka "the affluent society" aka "the effluent society" did away with all the muss and fuss, and thus loaded us down with landfill, dumping into rivers and seas, and air pollution from burning garbage that would once have been made into paper or cheap gimcrackery.
 
2014-02-21 12:44:10 PM

Cold_Sassy: Lets see... a $15.00 annual membership fee - O.K.

a $6.00 per visit fee, WTF?


That's the base visit price. Additional fees are charged per square of toilet paper used beyond the base three sheets, use of hand soap, seat lifting fee for men and seat lowering fee for women plus fart dispense surcharge and skidmark fees assessed per use.


It's sort of the Ryanair of toilets.
 
2014-02-21 01:10:04 PM
If I came to shiat but only farted will I still have to pay or be broken hearted?
 
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