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(Slate)   Smartest. Girl Scout. Ever   (slate.com) divider line 101
    More: Hero, invisible hand, Girl Scout cookie, Green Cross Code  
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22657 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2014 at 8:37 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



101 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-02-20 09:48:06 PM
Dildos and cocaine would better
 
2014-02-20 09:48:44 PM

Richard_The_Clown: Notthisshiatagain.jpg


For some of us this is new ;-)

My cookies were delivered, thankfully after dinner, yesterday.

Had 6 tagalongs and 8 thin mints for breakfast today tho.

Tellingthem mentioned freezing thin mints - I totally forgot about that.

/races to freezer with cookies
 
2014-02-20 09:49:08 PM

techgeek07: cardex: At my local mall the girls set a table outside jenny creag

That comment made LOL.  I really hope it's not true.  However, if it is I would love to sales figures.  I can just picture all the women thinking "I've been good today.  I deserve this".


I think they were technically outsde Kohls but the stores are next to each other and the table was at the jenny end not the bath and body works end
 
2014-02-20 09:53:18 PM

Mr. Eugenides: I'm sure the Girl Scouts organization is thrilled to be associated with pot.




Much better to be associated with a product that causes obesity and diabetes.

(The cookies, I mean. Not the scouts)
 
2014-02-20 09:54:29 PM

GloomCookie613: Mikey1969: Valeriyance: peacheslatour: Valeriyance: ArcadianRefugee: That should have the [sick] tag, taking advantage of people like that. If the weren't high, they'd realize how overpriced gs cookies are and just go to their local convenience or grocery store to get the same thing at half price.

Little biatch.

I don't eat them myself (I buy them for my dad) so I don't know store prices but, I don't think 4 bucks is too much for a box.  Even if it is going to a horrible organization like the Scouts.

Why are they "horrible"?

It was a passive aggressive jab at the people who usually arrive and trash the Scouts of America.  I'm a Life Scout (not active anymore) and while I don't agree with a lot of their past leanings, I think they are getting better.  I am also very glad that I experienced all that I was able to in the organization.  If I had children I would support their wanting to be in.  I'd just make sure they weren't in a bigotted troup.

It's not a day that ends in 'y' if people don't hop on Fark and bash either the Boy Scouts, the Mormons, or both. It's almost National Pastime level at this point.

Good thing TFA is about the GIRL Scouts then. GS have nothing to do with the Boy Scouts.


Didn't stop people from hopping right in and doing exactly what I described though, did it?

Funny how that works. Something happens, and someone points it out.
 
2014-02-20 09:54:56 PM
"Hey, Cpl.D!  Wanna buy some girl scout cookies?"
"Got them thin mints?"
"Sure, how many boxes do you want?"
"... Yes."

/yes, I do sound fat
 
2014-02-20 10:02:58 PM
They'd make a killing across the street from the sex offenders' halfway house.
 
2014-02-20 10:10:38 PM

Clutch2013: jso2897: umad: Clutch2013: jso2897: I first saw this about a year ago, at the local clinic in Venice, CA. They were set up in a van in the parking lot so that people coming out of the clinic were presented with a full display of Thin Mints and all those other ones I don't care about.

You dare defile the Samoa's good name?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 800x531]

Main Street.  High noon.

I'll back you up. Picking Thin Mints over Samoas is just absurd.

Infidels. Yours shall be a painful doom.

[www.imfdb.org image 600x259]

You first.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
Hey, what's going on in this thread?
 
2014-02-20 10:16:42 PM
fc07.deviantart.net
 
2014-02-20 10:24:59 PM

Clutch2013: jso2897: umad: Clutch2013: jso2897: I first saw this about a year ago, at the local clinic in Venice, CA. They were set up in a van in the parking lot so that people coming out of the clinic were presented with a full display of Thin Mints and all those other ones I don't care about.

You dare defile the Samoa's good name?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 800x531]

Main Street.  High noon.

I'll back you up. Picking Thin Mints over Samoas is just absurd.

Infidels. Yours shall be a painful doom.

[www.imfdb.org image 600x259]

You first.


Is somebody talking smack about Samoas?

www.outsidethebeltway.com
 
2014-02-20 10:28:15 PM
Did anyone mention she is hot?
 
2014-02-20 10:30:26 PM

yellowmattercustard: seansimonson: ArcadianRefugee: That should have the [sick] tag, taking advantage of people like that. If the weren't high, they'd realize how overpriced gs cookies are and just go to their local convenience or grocery store to get the same thing at half price.

Little biatch.

Point me to the equivalent of caramel delights or thin mints at whatever farkin store you go to and I'll ignore the fact that you called that girl a little biatch

Keebler Coconut Dreams and Grasshoppers.


Nnnnno... Not. Even. Close.
Thanks for trying though..
 
2014-02-20 10:43:22 PM
CSB
I sell phones. Some lady dropped 1200 on new phones yesterday, left for ten minutes, came back with her three evil cute Girl Scout daughters and wiped the floor with us and the customers.
 
2014-02-20 10:45:55 PM
My wife was the scoutmaster and her troop used to set up outside the local university dining hall to catch the students after lunch and dinner.  The profits went to fund some very nice camping trips with horseback riding, canoeing etc for the girls.
 
2014-02-20 10:46:18 PM
I immediately guessed what the content would be from the headline.
 
2014-02-20 11:09:29 PM

Molavian: I need to have a seat over there.


lipsntoes: Did anyone mention she is hot?



Actually, the blond girl in the picture is not her, so you can all stop feel guilty for thinking she's hot.  The actual girl is in this article:

http://mashable.com/2014/02/20/girl-scout-cookies-marijuana/

And looks more like what you'd expect a girl scout to look like.

mashable.com
 
2014-02-20 11:22:41 PM

seansimonson: yellowmattercustard: seansimonson: ArcadianRefugee: That should have the [sick] tag, taking advantage of people like that. If the weren't high, they'd realize how overpriced gs cookies are and just go to their local convenience or grocery store to get the same thing at half price.

Little biatch.

Point me to the equivalent of caramel delights or thin mints at whatever farkin store you go to and I'll ignore the fact that you called that girl a little biatch

Keebler Coconut Dreams and Grasshoppers.

Nnnnno... Not. Even. Close.
Thanks for trying though..


About the only difference between Samoas and Coconut Dreams is the Samoas tend to use a darker chocolate. Other than that, they're the same. For half the price.

jso2897: Because only potheads buy Girl Scout Cookies.


Outside of pot store? Yeah, more likely than not. Oh, wait: "It's medicinal", right? :)

And don't call little girls "biatches" - it isn't nice.

I have nothing against Girl Scouts; last year, to celebrate girl scout day, I ate a brownie.
 
2014-02-20 11:23:54 PM
This has been done at Hash Bash in Ann Arbor for years.
 
2014-02-20 11:39:47 PM
I feel kinda bad for the Boy Scouts, standing outside the grocery store trying to peddle their lame ass coupon books.
 
2014-02-20 11:49:33 PM

EatenTheSun: I feel kinda bad for the Boy Scouts, standing outside the grocery store trying to peddle their lame ass coupon books.


They also do popcorn tins. Wheee!
 
2014-02-21 12:19:06 AM
This just in, stoners have a heightened sense of taste from cannabinoids.

/rickromaro.jpg
//two boxes please, that little asain girl hasn't been by since before the flood last spring.. :(
 
2014-02-21 12:22:34 AM

ArcadianRefugee: seansimonson: yellowmattercustard: seansimonson: ArcadianRefugee: That should have the [sick] tag, taking advantage of people like that. If the weren't high, they'd realize how overpriced gs cookies are and just go to their local convenience or grocery store to get the same thing at half price.

Little biatch.

Point me to the equivalent of caramel delights or thin mints at whatever farkin store you go to and I'll ignore the fact that you called that girl a little biatch

Keebler Coconut Dreams and Grasshoppers.

Nnnnno... Not. Even. Close.
Thanks for trying though..

About the only difference between Samoas and Coconut Dreams is the Samoas tend to use a darker chocolate. Other than that, they're the same. For half the price.

jso2897: Because only potheads buy Girl Scout Cookies.

Outside of pot store? Yeah, more likely than not. Oh, wait: "It's medicinal", right? :)

And don't call little girls "biatches" - it isn't nice.

I have nothing against Girl Scouts; last year, to celebrate girl scout day, I ate a brownie.


Keebler is one of the two licensed bakers of Girl Scout cookies through their ownership of Little Brownie Bakers(the other baker is ABC Bakers, which is part of Interbake(a maker of mostly store brand baked goods which is in turn part of George Weston, a big Canadian generic baked goods company)), so if your local troop uses the name "Samoas" instead of "Caramel deLites", then their cookies are made by Keebler in a Keebler factory.
 
2014-02-21 12:23:52 AM
The local grade school was closed due to weather last week, so my friend set up a table with her daughter in the student center of our university for a few hours in the afternoon. They sold over 100 boxes in the first hour.
 
2014-02-21 12:38:31 AM

techgeek07: Girl scout cookies are great but, a pizza parlor across the street with their vents facing the shop would be genius.



I ride my bicycle to the library 3-6 days each week.  I pass three pizza joints along the way.  If the wind is from the west, as it usually is (sea breeze), the temptation is brutal!
 
2014-02-21 12:50:37 AM

Tellingthem: ArkAngel: Tellingthem: umad: Clutch2013: jso2897: I first saw this about a year ago, at the local clinic in Venice, CA. They were set up in a van in the parking lot so that people coming out of the clinic were presented with a full display of Thin Mints and all those other ones I don't care about.

You dare defile the Samoa's good name?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 800x531]

Main Street.  High noon.

I'll back you up. Picking Thin Mints over Samoas is just absurd.

Exactly. You eat the Samoas while the Thin Mints are cooling down in the freezer.

The idea that anyone would choose Samoas over Thin Mints or Tagalongs is ludicrous.

Tagalongs are a second tier cookie at best. You have poor taste and may God have mercy on your soul


Dude I hate to be "that guy" on the internet, but you have disparaged Tagalongs and now I must threaten your entire family.
 
2014-02-21 12:53:26 AM

GardenWeasel: [fc07.deviantart.net image 275x500]


No wonder I couldn't eat just one....
 
2014-02-21 01:03:55 AM

techgeek07: Girl scout cookies are great but, a pizza parlor across the street with their vents facing the shop would be genius.


Sorta like the concert scene from Cheech And Chong's 'Up In Smoke'?
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooor, why not an all you can eat buffet right next door, AND with their vents facing the weed shop?
 
2014-02-21 01:27:56 AM
When I was a Cub Scout I sold candy bars.  My mom took me up to the SUNY Albany campus and I went from table to table in the cafeteria.  Every single guy sitting at a table with a girl bought her one.  Every single one, even if they insisted they didn't want one.  Sometimes they'd even say they were on a diet and give it back to me.

Step 3: Profit.

To be fair, I was devilishly cute in my bolo tie and kerchief.

Tied for the troop lead with a kid who's dad sold them at his work.
 
2014-02-21 01:47:48 AM

interstellar_tedium: My wife was the scoutmaster and her troop used to set up outside the local university dining hall to catch the students after lunch and dinner.  The profits went to fund some very nice camping trips with horseback riding, canoeing etc for the girls.


My mom did the same thing with me and my friends when we were in Girl Scouts. We set up in the large atrium that connected two of the local university's freshmen dorms, which also housed the entrances to both the dining hall and onsite pizza place. Even though they couldn't pay us with their bursar account funds, we cleaned up. :)
 
2014-02-21 04:35:47 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: ArkAngel: Tellingthem: umad: Clutch2013: jso2897: I first saw this about a year ago, at the local clinic in Venice, CA. They were set up in a van in the parking lot so that people coming out of the clinic were presented with a full display of Thin Mints and all those other ones I don't care about.

You dare defile the Samoa's good name?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 800x531]

Main Street.  High noon.

I'll back you up. Picking Thin Mints over Samoas is just absurd.

Exactly. You eat the Samoas while the Thin Mints are cooling down in the freezer.

The idea that anyone would choose Samoas over Thin Mints or Tagalongs is ludicrous.

Seriously. Samoas are the last choice* after thin mints, tagalogs, and of course dosidos or whatever they're called now which are by far the best.

*- except for shortbread which are of course totally goddamned pointless.


The shortbread cookies (Trefoils) are my favorite, they're the perfect combination of sweet and savory. No one makes better shortbread cookies than the girl scout elves.

/stinkeye
 
2014-02-21 05:18:20 AM
One drug dealer joining forces with another drug dealer.

/Yes, I'm an addict
//Of the cookies
///Kicked out of boy scouts for eating a brownie
 
2014-02-21 06:29:24 AM

Mr. Eugenides: I'm sure the Girl Scouts organization is thrilled to be associated with pot.


At least she didn't set up outside the Gay marriage-plex
 
2014-02-21 06:55:23 AM
If we're to keep it away from kids, the kids shouldn't be allowed to set up shop next to the pot shops.
 
2014-02-21 07:36:03 AM

Stone Meadow: dletter: [www.slate.com image 590x421]

And she appears to have worn a better outfit to sell them in

Dude, how can you be so crude and insensitive? The young lady featured in the photo suffers from a debilitating condition for which medical cannabis offers the only effective palliative relief.


"Offers the only effective palliative relief"? Yeah, probably not. I'm sure there's a pharmacuetical drug that could probably be slightly more effective, so what if it has over half a dozen side effects and is probably highly addictive, amirite?

/Biggest reason for doctors recommending medical marijuana is pain management
//Biggest reason for doctors prescribing OxyContin is pain management
///I know which one I'd rather have
 
2014-02-21 08:03:02 AM

ReverendJynxed: If we're to keep it away from kids, the kids shouldn't be allowed to set up shop next to the pot shops.


Would you say the same thing if they were set up outside liquor stores?
 
2014-02-21 08:25:45 AM
Heads-up from the WTFark video team here:

We may do a WTFark video about this submission and may pick one or two comments from this thread to use in the making of the video. If your comment is used, you will be credited (by handle) at the end of the video. If you have a problem with that and want your handle/comment ignored, then please let us know here. Otherwise, we will assume all are fair game. If you are the subby and want credit, too, you have to let us know here, too.

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2014-02-21 08:25:52 AM

Clutch2013: jso2897: I first saw this about a year ago, at the local clinic in Venice, CA. They were set up in a van in the parking lot so that people coming out of the clinic were presented with a full display of Thin Mints and all those other ones I don't care about.

You dare defile the Samoa's good name?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 800x531]

Main Street.  High noon.


High noon.... I presume this is a regular noon while you are buzzed....  or maybe noon at Denver?
 
2014-02-21 09:24:32 AM

glmorrs1: Stone Meadow: dletter: [www.slate.com image 590x421]

And she appears to have worn a better outfit to sell them in

Dude, how can you be so crude and insensitive? The young lady featured in the photo suffers from a debilitating condition for which medical cannabis offers the only effective palliative relief.

"Offers the only effective palliative relief"? Yeah, probably not. I'm sure there's a pharmacuetical drug that could probably be slightly more effective, so what if it has over half a dozen side effects and is probably highly addictive, amirite?

/Biggest reason for doctors recommending medical marijuana is pain management
//Biggest reason for doctors prescribing OxyContin is pain management
///I know which one I'd rather have


You need more coffee, man...and dial up the gain on your humor meter, too. :^)
 
2014-02-21 09:50:13 AM

Tellingthem: umad: Clutch2013: jso2897: I first saw this about a year ago, at the local clinic in Venice, CA. They were set up in a van in the parking lot so that people coming out of the clinic were presented with a full display of Thin Mints and all those other ones I don't care about.

You dare defile the Samoa's good name?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 800x531]

Main Street.  High noon.

I'll back you up. Picking Thin Mints over Samoas is just absurd.

Exactly. You eat the Samoas  wait while the Thin Mints are cooling down in the freezer.

 
2014-02-21 10:01:17 AM

Stone Meadow: glmorrs1: Stone Meadow: dletter: [www.slate.com image 590x421]

And she appears to have worn a better outfit to sell them in

Dude, how can you be so crude and insensitive? The young lady featured in the photo suffers from a debilitating condition for which medical cannabis offers the only effective palliative relief.

"Offers the only effective palliative relief"? Yeah, probably not. I'm sure there's a pharmacuetical drug that could probably be slightly more effective, so what if it has over half a dozen side effects and is probably highly addictive, amirite?

/Biggest reason for doctors recommending medical marijuana is pain management
//Biggest reason for doctors prescribing OxyContin is pain management
///I know which one I'd rather have

You need more coffee, man...and dial up the gain on your humor meter, too. :^)


Sorry, yeah, definitely shouldn't post before I've had my coffee.

In my defense though, I've got family that always sys how it's jut people tryin to get high, and how it was supposed to be for cancer and AIDS and the like, and now the most common reason it's used is pain relief and why can't they just use tylenol or something. The oxy line always shuts them up. And if it doesn't, I tell them about my friend who has an early onset form of degenerative arthritis. (CSB time)

He's only 26 an already is losing some motor function in his hands and it causes him lots of pain. When his doc upped him from lortab to percocet, he asked if there was anything else they could do for him long term. His doc said that was the long term. When he builds too much tolerance for the percocets, they'll up it to something stronger, and when it happens with that they'll up it again. He said to his doctor, "so basically you're giving me a lifetime prescription to painkillers. And an almost guaranteed addiction problem and kidney disease by the time I'm 40. Is that what you're saying?" His doctor just looked at him an said sorry it's all he can do. So my buddy said fark it, and moved to Colorado. My brothers and I went and visited him after a little over 6 months. One day he took one of his painkillers, and he told us that since he'd gotten on the medical, it was only the third one he'd taken. In almost six months. He said he stopped gettin it filled after three and had bottles of it just sitting in his nightstand collecting dust. And he liked that the marijuana didn't turn him into a zombie, that he could eat an edible, or take a few drops of tincture or just smoke half a joint and still feel like going on a hike through the mountains instead of just wanting to sit on the couch and do nothing all day. He's since moved back to Mississippi to help take care I his dying grandfather. Since he doesn't have access to the marijuana except through the black market he's back on the painkillers. He doesn't get out much anymore and spends most of his time zonked out on the couch, and dreaming about going back out there one day.
 
2014-02-21 10:51:56 AM

glmorrs1: ReverendJynxed: If we're to keep it away from kids, the kids shouldn't be allowed to set up shop next to the pot shops.

Would you say the same thing if they were set up outside liquor stores?


Yes.
 
2014-02-21 11:13:43 AM

Cork on Fork: Mr. Eugenides: I'm sure the Girl Scouts organization is thrilled to be associated with pot.

Much better to be associated with a product that causes obesity and diabetes.

(The cookies, I mean. Not the scouts)


Well, that'd depend on how many scouts you eat, wouldn't it?
 
2014-02-21 11:55:44 AM
I was walking out of the grocery store the other day with a case of beer when the 3 foot pushers struck. A little squeakey voice asked if I would like to buy some girl scout cookies. I replied that I don't carry cash ( this is true) which is also the excuse you give the bums here in Austin.To my astonishment, that same voice gleefully said "we can take a credit card!" As I said "no thank you" I was thinking when did the damn girl scouts get a credit card terminal? As I finished saying no thank you, the mom yelled out "honey I don't think he wants cookies to go with his beer" She was right. Now if they had been peanuts or chips....
 
2014-02-21 12:27:03 PM
css:
my friend lives a couple blocks from this particular dispensary. it's in a bad part of town (excelsior). She said since the dispensary moved in, the neighborhood has cleaned up, cause the cops come around now. so she has way less pervs waggling their weens at her, less drunk winos hanging about.
only downside is her favorite mexican joint across the street is always full. potheads take a long time to decide what they want to order.
 
2014-02-21 12:49:04 PM
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2014-02-21 01:39:44 PM

ArkAngel: Tellingthem: umad: Clutch2013: jso2897: I first saw this about a year ago, at the local clinic in Venice, CA. They were set up in a van in the parking lot so that people coming out of the clinic were presented with a full display of Thin Mints and all those other ones I don't care about.

You dare defile the Samoa's good name?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 800x531]

Main Street.  High noon.

I'll back you up. Picking Thin Mints over Samoas is just absurd.

Exactly. You eat the Samoas while the Thin Mints are cooling down in the freezer.

The idea that anyone would choose Samoas over Thin Mints or Tagalongs is ludicrous.


And so begins the great conflict of our time. How will future generations remember us? As heroes who stood long watches in the cold and damp over our Cookie box fortresses, protecting all that we held dear? Or will we be monsters, seeking to implement the rise of the One True Cookie by destroying all others? How much innocent creme filling must be spilled in the name of war? I see a battlefield in the future, still marked by the scars of the Great Cookie War. Empty boxes and scattered trays lie mingled with the crumbs of our failure upon the scarred and broken asphalt of the battlefields.

Ask yourself, Is this a future you desire? Is this what anyone truly wants? Let us learn to accept one another and not judge a person upon their cookie preferences. Let us learn to love all Girl Scout Cookies equally, and so grow in understanding of one another. As you have the power to begin the war, so too do you possess the power to prevent it. Turn to the brother or sister beside you and share with them the joy of a different cookie. Remember everyone, this world is made of love and peace (and cookies). There is no need for war.
 
2014-02-21 01:45:58 PM

stuffy: Like selling toilet paper outside a Taco Bell.


Or dental floss outside a rib joint
 
2014-02-21 02:56:20 PM
www.slate.com

If this is the Girl Scout in question the I need to have a seat right over there.
 
2014-02-21 03:21:29 PM

aintitahoot: Heads-up from the WTFark video team here:

We may do a WTFark video about this submission and may pick one or two comments from this thread to use in the making of the video. If your comment is used, you will be credited (by handle) at the end of the video. If you have a problem with that and want your handle/comment ignored, then please let us know here. Otherwise, we will assume all are fair game. If you are the subby and want credit, too, you have to let us know here, too.

Here's how it works. We will keep track of whose comments we use and when you reach a certain threshold (five times, maybe) we will give you a small gift as a token of gratitude. Say, a Fark bar towel and a free month of TotalFark. If, as time goes on, and we seem to be using more and more of your comments, we will up the ante with some premium liquor for those of you who partake or something else equally appealing for those of you who don't.

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Hey, us old farts fell for the "free bar towel" trick once...


(of course, I got mine...)
 
2014-02-21 03:34:41 PM
i.r.id10t:

Hey, us old farts fell for the "free bar towel" trick once...


(of course, I got mine...)


You musta had it custom-made, because I haven't even ordered the damn things yet. I figure when we get close to using the same person's gag five times then I can panic and buy some.

/still tinkering
 
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