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(Boing Boing)   The best opening paragraph of any magazine story, ever   (boingboing.net) divider line 20
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

21182 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2014 at 11:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-20 09:22:25 PM  
4 votes:
why not just link directly to the article in The Atlantic?
2014-02-20 11:08:55 PM  
3 votes:
Boring Boring lives up to its name.

SlothB77: why not just link directly to the article in The Atlantic?


The Atlantic doesn't suck Drew's cock for linking.
2014-02-20 10:33:15 PM  
2 votes:
We went from 'One night...' to explosives in the ass in what, five sentences?

/slow clap
433 [TotalFark]
2014-02-20 09:42:26 PM  
2 votes:

SlothB77: why not just link directly to the article in The Atlantic?


I know.  This kind of content generation irks me.
The Dark Power of Fraternities

The second paragraph is pretty great, too, but then it focuses on serios business,
2014-02-21 09:10:35 AM  
1 votes:

RoyBatty: SlothB77: why not just link directly to the article in The Atlantic?

I think it was smart because Boing Boing has a good reputation and provided a much more succinct headline that promised joy than the Atlantic article.


this.

subby here... I saw the blurb on boingboing, it had the opening paragraph which I found amusing... I didn't think anyone would want to read the whole article... I considered using the Atlantic article... but the boingboing link had the funny bit and the link to the full article in case anyone wanted to read the rest... and myself, having not read the whole article didn't know if it would need a nsfw tag or not... so the boingboing link was safe.
2014-02-21 01:52:02 AM  
1 votes:

SlothB77: why not just link directly to the article in The Atlantic?


I think it was smart because Boing Boing has a good reputation and provided a much more succinct headline that promised joy than the Atlantic article.
2014-02-20 11:46:58 PM  
1 votes:
I lit a fart one time that went off like that.
2014-02-20 11:42:34 PM  
1 votes:

Agent Smiths Laugh: DrGunsforHands: It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.

[data3.whicdn.com image 356x454]


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no_elVGGgW8
2014-02-20 11:34:28 PM  
1 votes:

cirby: Not a bad opening paragraph. Really. But it's no better than second place.

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"


I just loathe feeling fear like that.
2014-02-20 11:34:00 PM  
1 votes:

DiggidyDan: I read that entire article today.  It was good, but pretty much stated the obvious that anybody who has been to college already knew.


TL:DR Frats are dangerous and risk filled places fueled by idiots and miscreants on copious booze/drugs making bad decisions.  ORLY?


I liked the details into how the national organizations protect the houses from liability by hanging the individual members out to dry.
2014-02-20 11:26:22 PM  
1 votes:

DiggidyDan: I read that entire article today.  It was good, but pretty much stated the obvious that anybody who has been to college already knew.


TL:DR Frats are dangerous and risk filled places fueled by idiots and miscreants on copious booze/drugs making bad decisions.  ORLY?


Let them be.  Their suffering amuses us.
2014-02-20 11:25:18 PM  
1 votes:
Not a bad opening paragraph. Really. But it's no better than second place.

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"
2014-02-20 11:24:34 PM  
1 votes:
I don't get why the goatse thing is banned here when you folks seems to enjoy discussing butt holes
2014-02-20 11:19:58 PM  
1 votes:
Why was that article 178 pages long? Has anyone ever finished it? Why?

I did enjoy the opening paragraph, but I basically just skimmed the rest to find out if the unfortunate idiot with the bottle rocket was ever able to poop again.
2014-02-20 11:16:08 PM  
1 votes:
I read that entire article today.  It was good, but pretty much stated the obvious that anybody who has been to college already knew.


TL:DR Frats are dangerous and risk filled places fueled by idiots and miscreants on copious booze/drugs making bad decisions.  ORLY?
2014-02-20 11:04:29 PM  
1 votes:
"It takes a certain kind of personal-injury lawyer to look at the facts of this glittering night and wrest from them a plausible plaintiff and defendant, unless it were possible for Travis Hughes to be sued by his own anus."
2014-02-20 10:53:38 PM  
1 votes:

Flatulent_Flea: Correction: four sentences.

/applause.gif

Would this be an Invited Explosive In Anus or IEIA?

The results would, I assume, be remarkable.


Chocolate starfish meets roman candle.
2014-02-20 10:47:46 PM  
1 votes:
Correction: four sentences.

/applause.gif

Would this be an Invited Explosive In Anus or IEIA?

The results would, I assume, be remarkable.
2014-02-20 08:26:15 PM  
1 votes:
Great opening, and the rest of the article is pretty good.
2014-02-20 05:45:04 PM  
1 votes:
Wow, that is good.  Thanks.
 
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