Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Orlando Sentinel)   You are drunk and want to do something exciting. Why not go steal a Humvee from the local National Guard? Who would notice?   (orlandosentinel.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, Humvees, Florida Area  
•       •       •

2675 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2014 at 12:20 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-02-20 11:29:44 AM  
Did it have a .50 cal mounted in the back? Because that would have been cooler, firing that sucker down Main St.
 
2014-02-20 12:22:45 PM  
Honestly, it's not that hard to do.
 
2014-02-20 12:24:02 PM  
National Guard trifecta in play?
 
2014-02-20 12:24:25 PM  
Who among us can honestly say they've never wanted to get a hummer on the road?
 
2014-02-20 12:24:26 PM  

spcMike: Honestly, it's not that hard to do.


I have to believe that the intimidation factor is the only thing that keeps this from happening more. People just believe that the National Guard's equipment must be relatively well guarded.
 
2014-02-20 12:26:07 PM  
Oh, and, no, double-posting the other Guard link doesn't count, mods...
 
2014-02-20 12:26:44 PM  

gopher321: Did it have a .50 cal mounted in the back? Because that would have been cooler, firing that sucker down Main St.


Best part - people would just assume you're the local police conducting a raid and not call 911.
 
2014-02-20 12:28:33 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-20 12:31:44 PM  

PunGent: National Guard trifecta in play?

does it count as a hat trick if you post the same article 3 times?

 
2014-02-20 12:34:40 PM  
So, the National Guard is for people who like the idea of wearing camouflage and saluting people, but who don't want to actually do anything, right? Basically professional cub scouts?
 
2014-02-20 12:34:58 PM  
Not as cool as am M-60, but okay.
  image1.frequency.com
 
2014-02-20 12:36:10 PM  
lol civil affairs!

/civil affairs vet
 
2014-02-20 12:36:19 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Or you can build your own killdozer.
 
2014-02-20 12:39:05 PM  
Instant five-star wanted level.
 
2014-02-20 12:53:23 PM  
His charges include grand theft, DUI, driving an unregistered vehicle and marijuana possession.

/heh.
 
2014-02-20 12:54:29 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: So, the National Guard is for people who like the idea of wearing camouflage and saluting people, but who don't want to actually do anything, right? Basically professional cub scouts?


Yes, this analogy would be very accurate if Cub scouts were frequently deployed to Afghanistan for combat operations.

Which they are, right?
 
2014-02-20 12:55:22 PM  

spcMike: Honestly, it's not that hard to do.


How did this guy get it started? It's not like they have ignition keys.

Also, one CA guy I knew carried around $100,000 in cash in a briefcase while down range. He was remarkably nonchalant about the whole thing.
 
2014-02-20 01:34:38 PM  

ZeroPly: spcMike: Honestly, it's not that hard to do.

How did this guy get it started? It's not like they have ignition keys.

Also, one CA guy I knew carried around $100,000 in cash in a briefcase while down range. He was remarkably nonchalant about the whole thing.


That's kind of why they're so easy to steal.  You don't need a key.
 
2014-02-20 01:47:33 PM  

ZeroPly: How did this guy get it started? It's not like they have ignition keys.


I've learned a few thing from Hollywood, over the years:

* No gun ever runs out of ammunition.
* Telling a woman to "stay in the car" GUARANTEES that she will not remain in the vehicle.
* Every vehicle ever made has two pre-stripped wires under the dash that can be twisted together to start the vehicle.
 
2014-02-20 02:50:12 PM  
static4.wikia.nocookie.net

"Hey guys, I am totally a cop. So I'm just gonna wander through the gate and borrow a vehicle.....for police stuff."
 
2014-02-20 02:52:02 PM  

ZeroPly: How did this guy get it started? It's not like they have ignition keys.


Like this
image.fourwheeler.com
 
2014-02-20 02:54:02 PM  

MythDragon: ZeroPly: How did this guy get it started? It's not like they have ignition keys.

Like this
[image.fourwheeler.com image 600x895]


And that funky excuse for a headlight switch is probably why he couldn't figure out how to turn them on.
 
2014-02-20 03:21:37 PM  

MythDragon: ZeroPly: How did this guy get it started? It's not like they have ignition keys.

Like this
[image.fourwheeler.com image 600x895]


It's funny how "communal" the military is when you look at how it's run.  Everything is owned by the state, distributed according to need.  Individuals own nothing other than a few personal trinkets.  Tasks and jobs are assigned.
 
2014-02-20 04:45:13 PM  
Sometimes when I see a national guard depot with vehicles I always wonder how easy it would be to steal one. Guess now I know.
 
2014-02-20 04:47:55 PM  

MythDragon: ZeroPly: How did this guy get it started? It's not like they have ignition keys.

Like this
[image.fourwheeler.com image 600x895]


move the switch to run when the wait light comes off then start.

to start the lights,  move the unlock switch up while moving the top switch to the right.

make sure you take the chock block and drip pan out before driving out of the motor pool.

/not a state secret.
 
2014-02-20 05:20:53 PM  
echomike23: MythDragon: ZeroPly: How did this guy get it started? It's not like they have ignition keys.

Like this
[image.fourwheeler.com image 600x895]

move the switch to run when the wait light comes off then start.

to start the lights,  move the unlock switch up while moving the top switch to the right.

make sure you take the chock block and drip pan out
 and drive over the drip pan as final fark you to the motor sergeant before driving out of the motor pool.

/not a state secret.
 
2014-02-20 06:33:42 PM  

ZeroPly: Also, one CA guy I knew carried around $100,000 in cash in a briefcase while down range. He was remarkably nonchalant about the whole thing.


I carried several million in a backpack, and we were paranoid as fark about it.
 
2014-02-20 09:33:30 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Not as cool as am M-60, but okay.
  [image1.frequency.com image 354x200]


ts3.mm.bing.net
Or This
 
Displayed 28 of 28 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report