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(Lincolnshire Echo)   Staff gives up money to armed robber under threat of being cut into eight equal-sized pieces   (lincolnshireecho.co.uk) divider line 25
    More: Fail, robbery  
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3795 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2014 at 10:32 AM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



25 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-20 10:33:38 AM
Tasteless "separate but equal" jokes in 3... 2....
 
2014-02-20 10:40:05 AM
I hope the FAIL tag isn't for the employees, cause don't forget, that some stores will fire you on the spot if you don't give into demands from a robber. Doesn't matter if he's armed with a loaf of bread, I've seen so many stories of people who lost their jobs because they fought off a robber.

Realistically though, a pizza cutter? It's possible he sharpened the blade really well, he might have caused some really serious paper-quality cuts to the employees.
 
2014-02-20 10:40:06 AM
"Equal-sized"? Methinks subby only knows of pizza-cutters via sellers' descriptions on Amazon. Never in the history of pizza-wheels has a round pizza been cut into 6 or 8 equal slices without the aid of a compass, ruler, protractor, or similar tool.

// oblig: how to slice a pizza
 
2014-02-20 10:40:34 AM
Pfft. If anyone ever manages to cut a pizza into equally sized pieces without a protractor, I'll be impressed.
 
2014-02-20 10:42:10 AM
being sought for assistance in inquiries

www.quirkbooks.com
 
2014-02-20 10:43:00 AM
Equal pieces my ass. You're very lucky if they actually cut through the pizza at all rather than just leaving a bunch of dents in it.
 
2014-02-20 10:44:12 AM
Bummer man, he'll be the only sad one at the prison lunchroom on Pizza Fridays.

Subby, if they hadn't given.up the money they'd probably all have been fired for not following company policy. Unless it was one of those plastic-wheel ones. Might as well use a balloon animal to make your cuts.

Anyway, it's a fickle biatch, that pizza wheel of fortune. No matter how you slice it, she leaves us all divided.
 
2014-02-20 10:49:01 AM
Oh, and: pick it up, tilt it to let the excess grease run off, then fold it down the middle lengthwise and eat. Ya savages.

/patting the grease off with several napkins is also permitted... barely.
 
2014-02-20 10:50:01 AM
"One of these days, I'm going to cut you into (eight equal sized) little pieces!"
 
2014-02-20 10:53:33 AM
Dr Dreidel
2014-02-20 10:40:06 AM


"Equal-sized"? Methinks subby only knows of pizza-cutters via sellers' descriptions on Amazon. Never in the history of pizza-wheels has a round pizza been cut into 6 or 8 equal slices without the aid of a compass, ruler, protractor, or similar tool.

Came to say ^This^.
 
2014-02-20 10:54:40 AM
See, this is the stupid shiat that happens when you outlaw guns.

Robber looks stupid for using it, clerks look stupid for giving in to his demands.

Now when you walk in with a shotgun, you gets respect, yo.
 
2014-02-20 10:56:21 AM
Was it this guy?

static4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-20 10:58:31 AM
images.zesco.com
 
2014-02-20 11:00:37 AM
FTFA: The business of medicine too often dictates where patients are cared for

>THE BUSINESS OF MEDICINE

And there's your problem right there.

In America, everything has to be a business. Medicine, education, elder care-- things that should be about compassion and providing the best for each individual. Nope. All about the Almighty Dollar Bill!

No insurance? Turf 'im! Insured? Whoa whoa whoa, let's not be hasty, I'm sure we can handle-- er, will a band-aid do? Where do we keep those anyway? Don't use too many now, they cost money ya know.
 
2014-02-20 11:03:07 AM

brimed03: Oh, and: pick it up, tilt it to let the excess grease run off, then fold it down the middle lengthwise and eat. Ya savages.

/patting the grease off with several napkins is also permitted... barely.


Why would I want to bite down on nothing but dough? And why not just get a calzone if you're going to do that?
 
2014-02-20 11:05:09 AM

brimed03: FTFA: The business of medicine too often dictates where patients are cared for

>THE BUSINESS OF MEDICINE

And there's your problem right there.

In America, everything has to be a business. Medicine, education, elder care-- things that should be about compassion and providing the best for each individual. Nope. All about the Almighty Dollar Bill!

No insurance? Turf 'im! Insured? Whoa whoa whoa, let's not be hasty, I'm sure we can handle-- er, will a band-aid do? Where do we keep those anyway? Don't use too many now, they cost money ya know.


Hot damn, wrong thread.

-Nurse, I said pass the damn pizza cutter!
-I can't doctor, Brad from Patient Services says the patient's insurance doesn't allow it!

/wanders off, mumbling
 
2014-02-20 11:08:25 AM
I usually only get my medium pizzas sliced into 6 slices because that's usually enough for me. I don't think I could eat all eight.
 
2014-02-20 11:14:16 AM
time to ban pizza cutters in england.
 
2014-02-20 11:15:05 AM
brimed03


derp derp derp derp derp derp derp
In America, everything has to be a business.
derp derp derp derp derp derp derp

Which is why you work for free.
 
2014-02-20 11:16:41 AM

brimed03: Oh, and: pick it up, tilt it to let the excess grease run off, then fold it down the middle lengthwise and eat. Ya savages.

/patting the grease off with several napkins is also permitted... barely.


Why would you want to lose out on the flavor juice? When a slice is folded, "excess" oil (if it can be so called) will run down the seam and you lose a few drops - the culinary equivalent of pouring out a 40 for your homies.

No napkins needed, no fear of lipids, minor loss of pizza mass between plate and gullet.

// oddly, I've come out against folding jumbo slices
 
2014-02-20 11:25:07 AM
What?  This hasn't turned into a NY-vs-Chicago thread yet?
 
2014-02-20 11:28:46 AM
Looks like we have a new AK-47 assault pizza cutter to fear.
a.tgcdn.net
 
2014-02-20 12:24:40 PM
Those things can be sharp.
 
2014-02-20 12:37:40 PM
sistersuffragette.files.wordpress.com

/obvious
 
2014-02-20 11:19:46 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
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