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(The Consumerist)   Dear Five Guys: Don't copy a customer on an internal email, especially if you call him a douche   (consumerist.com) divider line 74
    More: Fail, five guys  
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5054 clicks; posted to Business » on 20 Feb 2014 at 10:36 AM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-20 08:49:06 AM
Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.
 
2014-02-20 08:56:37 AM

BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.


Well, Consumerist  only let us see the final exchange, so we'll never know.

And, generally speaking, it is considered bad form not to copy someone you mention in the correspondence.

Obviously that's just a rule of thumb!
 
2014-02-20 08:59:55 AM

BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.


We only saw the final exchange, so we'll never know.

And, generally speaking, it is considered bad form not to copy someone you mention in mention in the correspondence.

Obviously that's just a rule of thumb!
 
2014-02-20 09:17:01 AM
How about never calling a client a douche?
I deal with difficult clients all day long.
I always remember that I can be a difficult person to deal with even in person and apply a healthy dose of polite right back at them. Polite is an extreme abrasive and can wear anyone down to just being nice in the end. You would be surprised how many people will apologize for being difficult once you have won then down with being nice.
Oh, you're sorry? For what? You got upset. We all do. My job is to be nice.

Until it's time not to be nice
 
2014-02-20 09:21:29 AM

vudukungfu: How about never calling a client a douche?


Always guard what you say and couch it in flowery language. The smart will get the gist but be grateful you said it tactfully and the stupid will not realize they should be offended.
 
2014-02-20 09:24:25 AM
There's only one reason I can think of to exclude the email which elicited such a response.

Generally I think people who decide to air petty grievances like this on Consumerist are, almost invariably, Grade-A Insufferable Douchebags anyway...but if you're going to post one side of a conversation and then point and say "Look at these dicks who called me a dick!" then I'm going to assume you're as much (or more) of a dick as the person you're whining about.
 
2014-02-20 09:29:11 AM

doglover: and the stupid will not realize they should be offended.


Bless their hearts.
 
2014-02-20 09:34:40 AM

doglover: vudukungfu: How about never calling a client a douche?


Always guard what you say and couch it in flowery language. The smart will get the gist but be grateful you said it tactfully and the stupid will not realize they should be offended.


Ugh.  I have to wear that hat today.

One of my guys has a customer that just won't let go.  Problem is not with our team's product.  But she and OUR account manager for her are trying to push the resolution through us instead of through the team that actually supports the piece in question (JDBC drivers).

My guy's not the greatest with managing his customers.  But to his credit he has tried to put a stake in the ground.  They don't want to hear it.  So now it's time for the "voice of reason" to come in and set them straight.  My guy is terrible with that.
 
2014-02-20 09:41:53 AM
b.vimeocdn.com

Sexually...
 
2014-02-20 10:04:18 AM

vudukungfu: How about never calling a client a douche?
I deal with difficult clients all day long.
I always remember that I can be a difficult person to deal with even in person and apply a healthy dose of polite right back at them. Polite is an extreme abrasive and can wear anyone down to just being nice in the end. You would be surprised how many people will apologize for being difficult once you have won then down with being nice.
Oh, you're sorry? For what? You got upset. We all do. My job is to be nice.

Until it's time not to be nice


www.yellmagazine.com
 
2014-02-20 10:25:55 AM
I think it is good policy to not go on record using profanity or name-calling with your clientele.

I also think, given the Consumerist side of the story (pro customer, that is), that this "douche" may in fact be a douche.
1. Orders food, gets charged for something not received
2. Registers complaint (fine)
3. Receives refund for merchandise not received (fine)
4. Receives gift card for his trouble (above and beyond)
5. Complains about having to use gift card in store as opposed to online (douche)

When old-timers complain about "sense of entitlement," this is exactly the behavior they're pillorying, whether they also exhibit it or not.  I HAVE BEEN SLIGHTLY WRONGED!  I DEMAND NOT ONLY RECOMPENSE BUT EXTREMELY-CONVENIENT SACRIFICE ON YOUR PART!
 
2014-02-20 10:39:06 AM
I've eaten tablespoons of salt with less salt than a Five Guys Burger. Never again.
 
2014-02-20 10:43:53 AM
They should just go to Five Guys and pick it up there.

At least they would get some exercise.
 
2014-02-20 10:45:20 AM

factoryconnection: I think it is good policy to not go on record using profanity or name-calling with your clientele.

I also think, given the Consumerist side of the story (pro customer, that is), that this "douche" may in fact be a douche.
1. Orders food, gets charged for something not received
2. Registers complaint (fine)
3. Receives refund for merchandise not received (fine)
4. Receives gift card for his trouble (above and beyond)
5. Complains about having to use gift card in store as opposed to online (douche)

When old-timers complain about "sense of entitlement," this is exactly the behavior they're pillorying, whether they also exhibit it or not.  I HAVE BEEN SLIGHTLY WRONGED!  I DEMAND NOT ONLY RECOMPENSE BUT EXTREMELY-CONVENIENT SACRIFICE ON YOUR PART!


I've had my own complaint with Five Guys before that was handled bad by the store but well by the GM and I agree with your steps.  If you get refunded and a gift card/voucher for free food then you say thanks and either accept the voucher and use it or say screw off and never go back.  I decided to never go back due to the issue being health related (employee coming out front to get trash that was overflowing out of cans, taking them out back to the dumpster and then going back to putting cheese on burgers wearing the same gloves).
 
2014-02-20 10:45:23 AM

BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.


If he is posting on Consumerist, you don't need to qualify your statement with "maybe."
 
2014-02-20 10:45:50 AM
The good news is they won't have to worry about him ever eating there again!
 
2014-02-20 10:48:07 AM

vudukungfu: How about never calling a client a douche?
I deal with difficult clients all day long.
I always remember that I can be a difficult person to deal with even in person and apply a healthy dose of polite right back at them. Polite is an extreme abrasive and can wear anyone down to just being nice in the end. You would be surprised how many people will apologize for being difficult once you have won then down with being nice.
Oh, you're sorry? For what? You got upset. We all do. My job is to be nice.

Until it's time not to be nice


What if your client is a large government agency that is demanding that you rewrite a 300 item questionnaire that you already sent them because they gave you the wrong form in order to upgrade a system that has still not been approved in the two years that it has been in production? Oh, and they will only communicate over their own mail system that is inaccessible for weeks on end because their systems are so farked up?

/not bitter in the least. why do you ask?
 
2014-02-20 10:49:48 AM
Generally if a customer gets called a douche, it's because he was a grade-A douchebag.  Especially if the story shows up on the Consumerist.  That said, it's a really bad idea to go on record calling him a douche.  Keep that stuff out of emails, etc.
 
2014-02-20 10:56:04 AM
well that looks like a professional correspondence.  You don't have to give the guy a rim job but replying 'I think we have been more than fair in this matter' seems to sufficiently express the same thought.
 
2014-02-20 10:59:12 AM
Mas con luz que por fuerza.
 
2014-02-20 11:02:04 AM

likefunbutnot: I've eaten tablespoons of salt with less salt than a Five Guys Burger. Never again.


Your a douche.
 
2014-02-20 11:07:07 AM

vudukungfu: How about never calling a client a douche?
I deal with difficult clients all day long.
I always remember that I can be a difficult person to deal with even in person and apply a healthy dose of polite right back at them. Polite is an extreme abrasive and can wear anyone down to just being nice in the end. You would be surprised how many people will apologize for being difficult once you have won then down with being nice.
Oh, you're sorry? For what? You got upset. We all do. My job is to be nice.

Until it's time not to be nice


A couple of things here:

1: You always say something different internally than you say to the customer. Especially if they're being douchey.
2: As has been pointed out, we are only getting to see the final exchange. "John" left out everything he said to spark this reaction from 5 Guys.
3: "John" got what he wanted from 5 Guys when customer service got in touch with him.
4: The Consumerist sucks, and it's about as non-biased as FoxNews.

As with most stories on this site, everything abut this is fishy as hell, and we're only being told about 10% of the story.
 
2014-02-20 11:08:06 AM

BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.



Why not? It's easier than picking up the phone.

I wish we could see the full exchange. I really want to high five, umm this five guys if the guy really was being a douche.

/best fries and burgers around
 
2014-02-20 11:13:14 AM

BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?


That we're reading this on Consumerist makes it a certainty.
 
2014-02-20 11:15:17 AM
Have you herad of the Consumerist?

You will.
 
2014-02-20 11:17:06 AM

GameSprocket: not bitter in the least. why do you ask?


CGI?
 
2014-02-20 11:17:31 AM

Diogenes: BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.

We only saw the final exchange, so we'll never know.

And, generally speaking, it is considered bad form not to copy someone you mention in mention in the correspondence.

Obviously that's just a rule of thumb!


Diogenes: BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.

Well, Consumerist  only let us see the final exchange, so we'll never know.

And, generally speaking, it is considered bad form not to copy someone you mention in the correspondence.

Obviously that's just a rule of thumb!


www.sundriesshack.com


And bottom posting is for retards!

/ducks
//covers
///grabs flame proof underroos
 
2014-02-20 11:21:12 AM
In 'N Out would never do anything like this.
 
2014-02-20 11:23:33 AM

Diogenes: Well, Consumerist  only let us see the final exchange, so we'll never know.


Exactly.  Consumerist takes this guy at his word that he "filed a polite complaint" and then for some reason out of nowhere gets this vitriol back.  I'd be shocked if there wasn't a whole lot more to this story.
 
2014-02-20 11:25:00 AM

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: likefunbutnot: I've eaten tablespoons of salt with less salt than a Five Guys Burger. Never again.

Your a douche.


At least he can spell.
 
2014-02-20 11:37:24 AM
Great, now I want a Five Guys burger and closest one is over an hour away.
 
2014-02-20 11:43:30 AM

nocturnal001: BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.


Why not? It's easier than picking up the phone.

I wish we could see the full exchange. I really want to high five, umm this five guys if the guy really was being a douche.

/best fries and burgers around


Often when you order online, you're automaticly offered to fill out a survey.

Could be that. They send an email asking him to fill out a form about how things were, and he brought up the fries.

/or if he initiated it, he was just a douche. They apparently order from the place constantly, so if they miss the fries one day, big deal.
 
2014-02-20 11:44:14 AM
Consumerist reader John

Based on this sentence, I'm inclined to agree that he's a douche and he works with tools.
 
2014-02-20 11:47:46 AM

factoryconnection: I think it is good policy to not go on record using profanity or name-calling with your clientele.

I also think, given the Consumerist side of the story (pro customer, that is), that this "douche" may in fact be a douche.
1. Orders food, gets charged for something not received
2. Registers complaint (fine)
3. Receives refund for merchandise not received (fine)
4. Receives gift card for his trouble (above and beyond)
5. Complains about having to use gift card in store as opposed to online (douche)

When old-timers complain about "sense of entitlement," this is exactly the behavior they're pillorying, whether they also exhibit it or not.  I HAVE BEEN SLIGHTLY WRONGED!  I DEMAND NOT ONLY RECOMPENSE BUT EXTREMELY-CONVENIENT SACRIFICE ON YOUR PART!


I worked at McDonald's in the 90s.  Old-timers at least that far back had a "sense of entitlement".

"Entitled" is currently just a perjorative buzzword that has lost most of its original meaning.  See also "hipster".
 
2014-02-20 12:00:46 PM

Rapmaster2000: factoryconnection: I think it is good policy to not go on record using profanity or name-calling with your clientele.

I also think, given the Consumerist side of the story (pro customer, that is), that this "douche" may in fact be a douche.
1. Orders food, gets charged for something not received
2. Registers complaint (fine)
3. Receives refund for merchandise not received (fine)
4. Receives gift card for his trouble (above and beyond)
5. Complains about having to use gift card in store as opposed to online (douche)

When old-timers complain about "sense of entitlement," this is exactly the behavior they're pillorying, whether they also exhibit it or not.  I HAVE BEEN SLIGHTLY WRONGED!  I DEMAND NOT ONLY RECOMPENSE BUT EXTREMELY-CONVENIENT SACRIFICE ON YOUR PART!

I worked at McDonald's in the 90s.  Old-timers at least that far back had a "sense of entitlement".

"Entitled" is currently just a perjorative buzzword that has lost most of its original meaning.  See also "hipster".


Meh, I knew what a hipster was before it was popular.
 
2014-02-20 12:19:58 PM

Rapmaster2000: I worked at McDonald's in the 90s.  Old-timers at least that far back had a "sense of entitlement".


In Iowa at a Dairy Queen - we witnessed some 80 year old dude get into an loud argument with the 16 year old order taker over "cherry coke" which he insisted Dairy Queen invented and he should be able to order one.  In went on for 15 minutes.  The 17 year old manager could not figure out what to do with this situation.  The old dude finally relented and went to his seat - bitterly complaining loudly for the next half hour.
 
2014-02-20 12:24:05 PM
FTA: "She has given me a couple of proposals to win back my group's business," John told Consumerist after speaking with the rep. "I told her I would be touch with all of my co-workers that usually order from them and get back to her with our decision."

The council of High Exalted Douche Lords shall consider your proposal... pray that it pleases them.
 
2014-02-20 12:25:39 PM

gingerjet: Rapmaster2000: I worked at McDonald's in the 90s.  Old-timers at least that far back had a "sense of entitlement".

In Iowa at a Dairy Queen - we witnessed some 80 year old dude get into an loud argument with the 16 year old order taker over "cherry coke" which he insisted Dairy Queen invented and he should be able to order one.  In went on for 15 minutes.  The 17 year old manager could not figure out what to do with this situation.  The old dude finally relented and went to his seat - bitterly complaining loudly for the next half hour.


I worked at McD the day they changed "senior coffee" from free to $0.05.  We did this because old people sat around all day drinking coffee and taking up all the seats.  It was like the end of the world for these people.  I was one of two supervisors that morning.  After hours of this, when some angry septugenarian said "Coffee is still free at Hardee's!", I couldn't help myself from saying "Fine, go to Hardee's then.  I get paid the same."
 
2014-02-20 12:26:22 PM

Buck Henderson: FTA: "She has given me a couple of proposals to win back my group's business," John told Consumerist after speaking with the rep. "I told her I would be touch with all of my co-workers that usually order from them and get back to her with our decision."

The council of High Exalted Douche Lords shall consider your proposal... pray that it pleases them.


+1
 
2014-02-20 12:31:09 PM

vudukungfu: How about never calling a client a douche?
I deal with difficult clients all day long.
I always remember that I can be a difficult person to deal with even in person and apply a healthy dose of polite right back at them. Polite is an extreme abrasive and can wear anyone down to just being nice in the end. You would be surprised how many people will apologize for being difficult once you have won then down with being nice.
Oh, you're sorry? For what? You got upset. We all do. My job is to be nice.

Until it's time not to be nice


While I agree with you 100% (I even "Smart"ed your post), I don't have the personality to pull it off. I can be polite all day, until a customer gets abusive. I grew up with an abusive and insulting step-father (because I was smart, my nickname was the unwieldy "World's Largest Repository of Superfluous Bullshiat"), and immediately joined the military. When I got out, I decided that I would no longer put up with voices raised in my direction undeservedly. I recognize that this is my character flaw, and have avoided public relations jobs accordingly. I am just not constitutionally suited for PR work.
 
2014-02-20 12:35:22 PM
It's Five Guys.  Who cares?

Do people just not understand that service workers hate them, and call them names all the time?
 
2014-02-20 12:49:50 PM
Sometimes you have to be a jerk.

There was a unnamed fast food chain near my place that didn't do a great job cleaning the iced tea machines. To the point where globs of yeast were growing in the tea. I told the manager, who ignored it.  So, I emailed corporate, they 'were looking into it'. Figuring that they fixed it, I  ordered tea a week later, to find globs of yeast growing in it.

Took pictures, then emailed the regional manager. They finally fixed it. The next step would have been a online review of their iced tea with free globs in high def.

They offered me a coupon, I passed.

Yeast growing in tea may not be harmful, but it's pretty disgusting to drink and a sign of not following good cleaning procedures.
 
2014-02-20 12:51:24 PM

Joe USer: Sometimes you have to be a jerk.

There was a unnamed fast food chain near my place that didn't do a great job cleaning the iced tea machines. To the point where globs of yeast were growing in the tea. I told the manager, who ignored it.  So, I emailed corporate, they 'were looking into it'. Figuring that they fixed it, I  ordered tea a week later, to find globs of yeast growing in it.

Took pictures, then emailed the regional manager. They finally fixed it. The next step would have been a online review of their iced tea with free globs in high def.

They offered me a coupon, I passed.

Yeast growing in tea may not be harmful, but it's pretty disgusting to drink and a sign of not following good cleaning procedures.


You were kinder than necessary. Second call should have been the local health board.
 
2014-02-20 01:49:49 PM

GameSprocket: vudukungfu: How about never calling a client a douche?
I deal with difficult clients all day long.
I always remember that I can be a difficult person to deal with even in person and apply a healthy dose of polite right back at them. Polite is an extreme abrasive and can wear anyone down to just being nice in the end. You would be surprised how many people will apologize for being difficult once you have won then down with being nice.
Oh, you're sorry? For what? You got upset. We all do. My job is to be nice.

Until it's time not to be nice

What if your client is a large government agency that is demanding that you rewrite a 300 item questionnaire that you already sent them because they gave you the wrong form in order to upgrade a system that has still not been approved in the two years that it has been in production? Oh, and they will only communicate over their own mail system that is inaccessible for weeks on end because their systems are so farked up?

/not bitter in the least. why do you ask?


You smile and increase the price by 25% for every quarter they miss a deadline and by 50% for every change they want. Why? Don't you understand how to bill the government?
 
2014-02-20 01:51:42 PM

gingerjet: Rapmaster2000: I worked at McDonald's in the 90s.  Old-timers at least that far back had a "sense of entitlement".

In Iowa at a Dairy Queen - we witnessed some 80 year old dude get into an loud argument with the 16 year old order taker over "cherry coke" which he insisted Dairy Queen invented and he should be able to order one.  In went on for 15 minutes.  The 17 year old manager could not figure out what to do with this situation.  The old dude finally relented and went to his seat - bitterly complaining loudly for the next half hour.


Duh, you take a handful of cherries, put them in a blender, but the mush in a cup of coke and hand it to the old fart.
 
2014-02-20 01:55:19 PM

Joe USer: Sometimes you have to be a jerk.

There was a unnamed fast food chain near my place that didn't do a great job cleaning the iced tea machines. To the point where globs of yeast were growing in the tea. I told the manager, who ignored it.  So, I emailed corporate, they 'were looking into it'. Figuring that they fixed it, I  ordered tea a week later, to find globs of yeast growing in it.

Took pictures, then emailed the regional manager. They finally fixed it. The next step would have been a online review of their iced tea with free globs in high def.

They offered me a coupon, I passed.

Yeast growing in tea may not be harmful, but it's pretty disgusting to drink and a sign of not following good cleaning procedures.


You went back? Had some asshole cook yell at me from inside the kitchen after I sent back an uncooked Pizza Hut pizza. I have not been a patron of Pizza Hut since that incident and that was 20 years ago.
 
2014-02-20 02:04:12 PM

BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.


Okay...call me a douche, but whenever I get less that what I paid for, I always let the business know that they screwed up...and I usually use their online form to do so because that's what it's there for.  I don't have the time to drive all the way back and I think that the manager running the store is probably too busy handling customers to want to hear some guy complaining on the phone.

I can usually compose a better description of what went wrong online than on the phone.   I think that it's important that some sort of record be available to the franchise so they can maybe identify gaps in their processes or retrain particular employees if they spot a trend of substandard service.

Also, if I go back and talk to the employees, I'm always afraid that they'll get pissed off and spit in my food.
 
2014-02-20 02:16:29 PM

EasilyDistracted: BizarreMan: Maybe he was a douche?

I mean your online order is screwed up, the fries are missing.  And your first reaction is to file an online complaint?  Why not just call the store?  Go back and talk to the employees who messed up your order.

If they don't make it right, at that point, go and biatch online.

Okay...call me a douche, but whenever I get less that what I paid for, I always let the business know that they screwed up...and I usually use their online form to do so because that's what it's there for.  I don't have the time to drive all the way back and I think that the manager running the store is probably too busy handling customers to want to hear some guy complaining on the phone.

I can usually compose a better description of what went wrong online than on the phone.   I think that it's important that some sort of record be available to the franchise so they can maybe identify gaps in their processes or retrain particular employees if they spot a trend of substandard service.

Also, if I go back and talk to the employees, I'm always afraid that they'll get pissed off and spit in my food.


Plus you have to go back, which takes time/hassle. Online is much more convenient. After all, the business screwed up, not me. It's not worth the hassle to drive 15 minutes back just to get my small fries. But, that shouldn't mean I get screwed. Online complaints exist for a reason.
 
2014-02-20 02:16:41 PM

Slaves2Darkness: Joe USer: Sometimes you have to be a jerk.

There was a unnamed fast food chain near my place that didn't do a great job cleaning the iced tea machines. To the point where globs of yeast were growing in the tea. I told the manager, who ignored it.  So, I emailed corporate, they 'were looking into it'. Figuring that they fixed it, I  ordered tea a week later, to find globs of yeast growing in it.

Took pictures, then emailed the regional manager. They finally fixed it. The next step would have been a online review of their iced tea with free globs in high def.

They offered me a coupon, I passed.

Yeast growing in tea may not be harmful, but it's pretty disgusting to drink and a sign of not following good cleaning procedures.

You went back? Had some asshole cook yell at me from inside the kitchen after I sent back an uncooked Pizza Hut pizza. I have not been a patron of Pizza Hut since that incident and that was 20 years ago.


Pizza Hut inconsolable.

Really though...  You boycott an entire restaurant chain -- for an entire generation --  just because one minimum wage grunt actually let you know what he thought about you?

You seem... delicate.
 
2014-02-20 02:31:59 PM
For f*ck's sake, what happened here?

blog.syracuse.com

WE WANTS SOME SILLY BULLSH*T, MUHFUGGAH!  CURLYFRIES AND ALL. F*CK. THAT. SH*T.

Got it?
 
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