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(Slate)   There is one pronoun that will make you simply irresistible to women. Whom doesn't want that?   (slate.com ) divider line 71
    More: PSA, noonan, Standard English, global dimming, online newspaper  
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11920 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2014 at 1:28 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-20 12:46:10 AM  
Whatever.
 
2014-02-20 12:59:59 AM  
Whom=womb. Got it.
 
2014-02-20 01:07:49 AM  
Are these they?
 
2014-02-20 01:35:47 AM  
'You' runs a close second.
 
2014-02-20 01:36:17 AM  
"Rich" is not a pronoun, subby.
 
2014-02-20 01:36:48 AM  
"Money" is a pronoun?
 
2014-02-20 01:38:50 AM  
Huh, semi-simulpost. Bad news, spiritplumber. I think that means we're soulmates.

/I call top!
 
2014-02-20 01:43:42 AM  
73% of men who use "whom" are titanic wimps who let their wives ride over them roughshod and don't really have a frame of reference for what is and isn't a sexless, marriage of convenience and yet still manage to hobnob with independently wealthy alpha males because of their career path.

I read it in the Daily Mail last year. Must be true.
 
2014-02-20 01:44:00 AM  
Okay.
 
2014-02-20 01:45:43 AM  
If you click over to the infographics you find that lesbians like what straight men like. Also, 50% of people seem to talk about eyes. Everyone gets two.
 
2014-02-20 01:45:55 AM  
Got it.
 
2014-02-20 01:47:36 AM  
"Sandwich" is not a pronoun.
 
2014-02-20 01:48:41 AM  
If you are asking a question and the answer is going to be he or she, then use who.  Same goes for a statement, if the subject could be replaced with he or she, use who.

Similarly, if the question can be answered with him or her, use whom.  If the subject in a statement can be replace with him or her, use whom.

If there is a preposition right before the who/whom, it's always whom.

For whom the bell tolls?  Well, it doesn't toll for he, it tolls for him.  (really, it tolls for thee in the poem)  Bonus, the preposition For is right there, making this one easy to figure out.

Who are you?  I am he.

Bob is the one who handles the books.  He handles the books.
 
2014-02-20 01:49:03 AM  
Let's be honest here. Second person singular disappeared due to stupidity and laziness.
/If thou ditchest the pronoun, thou losest the conjugation, too.
//Who among us hath not perpetuated such simplifications?
 
2014-02-20 01:51:12 AM  
Thanks, spiritplumber! First time I've ever gotten TF as a punchline!
 
2014-02-20 01:51:22 AM  

syrynxx: Whom=womb. Got it.


First thing I thought as well.  Then I vomited, because wimenz infected with parasites are teh gross.
 
2014-02-20 01:51:58 AM  

YOU

are welcome.
 
2014-02-20 01:52:58 AM  

Farty McPooPants: If you are asking a question and the answer is going to be he or she, then use who.  Same goes for a statement, if the subject could be replaced with he or she, use who.

Similarly, if the question can be answered with him or her, use whom.  If the subject in a statement can be replace with him or her, use whom.

If there is a preposition right before the who/whom, it's always whom.

For whom the bell tolls?  Well, it doesn't toll for he, it tolls for him.  (really, it tolls for thee in the poem)  Bonus, the preposition For is right there, making this one easy to figure out.

Who are you?  I am he.

Bob is the one who handles the books.  He handles the books.


Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee.
 
2014-02-20 01:58:40 AM  
I believe you meant Who'm, subby.
 
2014-02-20 02:05:25 AM  
i.ytimg.com

"Yais?"
 
2014-02-20 02:11:44 AM  

wildcardjack: If you click over to the infographics you find that lesbians like what straight men like. Also, 50% of people seem to talk about eyes. Everyone gets two.


Statistically, everyone has slightly less than two.  God damned elitist.
 
2014-02-20 02:16:20 AM  

Farty McPooPants: If you are asking a question and the answer is going to be he or she, then use who.  Same goes for a statement, if the subject could be replaced with he or she, use who.

Similarly, if the question can be answered with him or her, use whom.  If the subject in a statement can be replace with him or her, use whom.

If there is a preposition right before the who/whom, it's always whom.

For whom the bell tolls?  Well, it doesn't toll for he, it tolls for him.  (really, it tolls for thee in the poem)  Bonus, the preposition For is right there, making this one easy to figure out.

Who are you?  I am he.

Bob is the one who handles the books.  He handles the books.


*Tosses Strunk & White*

Emma, order me the latest Farty McPooPants, will youm?


/whom's Emma?
 
2014-02-20 02:20:58 AM  
Wealthy?
 
2014-02-20 02:35:13 AM  

Farty McPooPants: If you are asking a question and the answer is going to be he or she, then use who.  Same goes for a statement, if the subject could be replaced with he or she, use who.

Similarly, if the question can be answered with him or her, use whom.  If the subject in a statement can be replace with him or her, use whom.


Who's on first? It is her.
 
2014-02-20 02:37:02 AM  

SJKebab: wildcardjack: If you click over to the infographics you find that lesbians like what straight men like. Also, 50% of people seem to talk about eyes. Everyone gets two.

Statistically, everyone has slightly less than two.  God damned elitist.


I said everybody GETS two. Whether they manage to keep them depends on not disobeying Pei Mei.

2.bp.blogspot.com


Ya know, I haven't rewatched that movie in years. I'll have rummage around for it.
 
2014-02-20 02:46:27 AM  
caughtsayof
 
2014-02-20 02:50:26 AM  
To she whom this may concern.
I mention yoga and surfing in passing:
Any interested women may apply
BIE
EIP
think that's got it
 
2014-02-20 02:54:54 AM  

soakitincider: caughtsayof


Gene Masseth?
 
2014-02-20 03:07:39 AM  
"Sure, they're interested in seeking out intelligent men to have sex with."

HahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOHHAWHAHAHABWAHIHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Best laugh I've had all day, thanks subby!
 
2014-02-20 03:16:19 AM  
I find the definition of "whom" is usually "I know I'm not very smart, but I'm also too lazy to spend ten minutes learning how to use 'whom' correctly and I'm willing to gamble that you morans are no better".
 
2014-02-20 03:21:58 AM  

NephilimNexus: "Sure, they're interested in seeking out intelligent men to have sex with."

HahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOHHAWHAHAHABWAHIHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Best laugh I've had all day, thanks subby!


Men who believe they're intelligent are the EASIEST.

"Easiest to what?" you ask.  Mmuuuahahahaha... never you mind, dear.
 
2014-02-20 03:24:05 AM  

OccamsWhiskers: I find the definition of "whom" is usually "I know I'm not very smart, but I'm also too lazy to spend ten minutes learning how to use 'whom' correctly and I'm willing to gamble that you morans are no better".


To whom art thou addressing this complaint? There are those here who would educate thee.
 
2014-02-20 03:24:55 AM  

Farty McPooPants: If there is a preposition right before the who/whom, it's always whom.


"I am offering a reward of $100 to whoever finds my dog."

"Whoever" is correct here, and "whomever" is wrong, because it is the subject of the verb "finds".  The object of the preposition "to" is the entire clause.
 
2014-02-20 03:26:17 AM  

E5bie: NephilimNexus: "Sure, they're interested in seeking out intelligent men to have sex with."

HahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOHHAWHAHAHABWAHIHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Best laugh I've had all day, thanks subby!

Men who believe they're intelligent are the EASIEST.

"Easiest to what?" you ask.  Mmuuuahahahaha... never you mind, dear.


I may be easy, but I'm not cheap.
"How easy?" you ask.
The answer to that will cost you.
 
2014-02-20 03:27:15 AM  
I walk 47 miles of barbed wire,
I use a cobra-snake for a necktie,
I got a brand new house on the roadside,
Made from rattlesnake hide,
I got a brand new chimney made on top,
Made out of a human skull,
Now come on take a walk with me, Arlene,
And tell me, whom do you love?
Whom do you love?
Whom do you love?
Whom do you love?
Whom do you love?
 
2014-02-20 03:36:18 AM  
"Hung" is an adjective used in this context, not a pronoun....
 
2014-02-20 03:43:13 AM  
The last time I used that word I got called "the gayest gay that ever gayed". Maybe that's why chicks dig people who use it.
 
2014-02-20 03:50:19 AM  
How about you go out with friends and find someone you're interested in and ask her out, and stop being an online chump trying to game the system and make yourself feel internet-important
 
2014-02-20 03:59:31 AM  

OccamsWhiskers: I find the definition of "whom" is usually "I know I'm not very smart, but I'm also too lazy to spend ten minutes learning how to use 'whom' correctly and I'm willing to gamble that you morans are no better".


I find that gamble to generally be a very good one.
 
2014-02-20 04:24:33 AM  
At work one day two older women were in a discussion with a slightly younger, feministic woman, and she apparently argued, that women shouldn't be called 'girls', and that the word should be reserved for actual children or very young women.

When the older women considered her outrage irrelevant, the feministic one turned to me for aid and asked if I would call them (my coworkers) 'girls' or if I would only use it about young women.

I said that I called them all biatches.

At least the older coworkers thought that was funny.
 
2014-02-20 05:00:51 AM  
You see, Wired didn't check the syntactic contexts. They simply counted whoms.
In other words, it doesn't matter whether you use whom correctly! In general, women don't know about the proper rules for whom any more than men do. Sure, they're interested in seeking out intelligent men to have sex with. And the idea of breeding with brainy guys who will think of creative ways to protect the offspring and carry home food is built into them by natural selection. The obvious inference, then, is that women view the mere occurrence of whom as a proxy for actual evidence of intelligence.


Correlation does not imply causation.

The fact that profiles with "whom" in them got more responses does not imply that it was the word "whom" that made the difference.  I think it's more likely that these profiles were, in general, written by people with a better command of the english language.  It was probably the overall writing style that got the higher response rate, not the word "whom".

Statistics and journalists do not mix well.
 
2014-02-20 05:41:15 AM  
If this means that women are attracted to men who are well educated enough to know the difference between nominative and accusative/ablative cases (learning Latin helps), I can assure you it's not true, generally speaking. However, for those for whom it does matter, they tend to be richer, older, better educated, and speak in the kind of Received Pronunciation that would make James Bond kick a hole in a stained glass window.
 
2014-02-20 05:46:35 AM  
Whom are you, whom whom, whom whom.  Whom are you, whom whom, whom whom.  I woke up in a Soho doorway the policeman knew my name.
 
2014-02-20 06:00:18 AM  
Didn't know there were professional nouns unlike the lazy nonworking nouns that just feed off the sentence.
 
2014-02-20 06:07:54 AM  
 
2014-02-20 06:17:53 AM  
There is one pronoun weird trick that will make you simply irresistible to women.

ftfm
 
2014-02-20 07:04:48 AM  
People who throw around 'whom', 'whilst' and 'said' (as an adjective) sound like assholes and need to shut the hell up.
 
2014-02-20 07:18:07 AM  
I bet the pronoun is 'it'.  For those that can say it, can defend themselves against the knights that used to say 'ni'.
 
2014-02-20 07:32:57 AM  
I thought there'd be no math.
 
2014-02-20 07:34:14 AM  

Public Savant: At work one day two older women were in a discussion with a slightly younger, feministic woman, and she apparently argued, that women shouldn't be called 'girls', and that the word should be reserved for actual children or very young women.

When the older women considered her outrage irrelevant, the feministic one turned to me for aid and asked if I would call them (my coworkers) 'girls' or if I would only use it about young women.

I said that I called them all biatches.

At least the older coworkers thought that was funny.


Heh.   Buddy of mine, in his mid-50s, had a similar experience.  He asked the company receptionist if she knew 'that chick' up in marketing...she said he shouldn't call women 'chicks'.  He apologized, and asked what he should call them (he's a nice guy, just not terribly PC).

Right on cue a young IT guy walks past them in the lobby, and says "Ho's".

The receptionist sighed, and said "You know what?  Chick is fine."
 
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