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(Onion AV Club)   Forensic scientists have reconstructed the face that goes with Dan Ackroyd's Crystal Head Vodka. "What, me blurry?"   (avclub.com) divider line 52
    More: Amusing, Crystal Head Vodka, Dan Aykroyd, crystals  
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7096 clicks; posted to Geek » on 19 Feb 2014 at 10:45 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-19 08:16:15 PM
I was hoping it was Bill Murry. I can see Dan wanting to drink from Bill's skull for not getting on board with
Ghostbusters III.

Or just for the lulz
 
2014-02-19 08:19:41 PM
Crystal Head Vodka: distilled from the souls of disturbing carnies.
 
2014-02-19 08:49:39 PM
MacGyver. Penny Parker. There, I made all your references.
 
2014-02-19 09:06:38 PM
Crystal Head makes for a loverly decanter.  Not worth the price but purchase price but worth refilling with Smirnoff.
 
2014-02-19 09:27:42 PM

brap: Crystal Head makes for a loverly decanter.  Not worth the price but purchase price but worth refilling with Smirnoff.


Hard to whip that out at the bus stop though.
 
2014-02-19 09:30:33 PM
Made the mistake of chasing the Pride of the Motherland flight at Red Square with some Crystal Skull.
Was like finishing up a massage with an Earnie Shavers cockpunch
 
2014-02-19 10:58:18 PM
Has anyone actually tried this?  Is it just a gimmick, or is it good?  How good on a scale from Popov to Grey Goose?
I've seen it in BevMo, but was always afraid to buy one and have the bottle left over and have company stop by and see it and be all like: "You must be a really big fan of of that last Indiana Jones movie."
 
2014-02-19 11:02:19 PM
"Crystal Head" is a dumb name. It's obviously a crystal  skull. Did Spielberg and Lucas threaten to sue?
 
2014-02-19 11:04:49 PM

Confabulat: brap: Crystal Head makes for a loverly decanter.  Not worth the price but purchase price but worth refilling with Smirnoff.

Hard to whip that out at the bus stop though.


That's what the plastic bottle of gas station 42-proof vodka is for.

/because higher than that requires sale at a state liquor store in Ohio
/but, hey, $1.99 for 375ml of tap water tasting crap, how can you go wrong?
 
2014-02-19 11:09:19 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: Has anyone actually tried this?  Is it just a gimmick, or is it good?  How good on a scale from Popov to Grey Goose?
I've seen it in BevMo, but was always afraid to buy one and have the bottle left over and have company stop by and see it and be all like: "You must be a really big fan of of that last Indiana Jones movie."


It's vodka. That's really all you can say for it. Not Skol rotgut, but nothing especially memorable.

The only reason to bother with it is just so you can have a neat bottle. I use mine for my spare change.
 
2014-02-19 11:10:34 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: Has anyone actually tried this?  Is it just a gimmick, or is it good?  How good on a scale from Popov to Grey Goose?
I've seen it in BevMo, but was always afraid to buy one and have the bottle left over and have company stop by and see it and be all like: "You must be a really big fan of of that last Indiana Jones movie."


IMO, it's not awful but definitely overpriced. Have a glassblower make you a better-looking piece and fill it up with Belvedere.
 
2014-02-19 11:12:33 PM
media.sfx.co.uk
 
2014-02-19 11:14:06 PM

Alexei Novikov: Ryker's Peninsula: Has anyone actually tried this?  Is it just a gimmick, or is it good?  How good on a scale from Popov to Grey Goose?
I've seen it in BevMo, but was always afraid to buy one and have the bottle left over and have company stop by and see it and be all like: "You must be a really big fan of of that last Indiana Jones movie."

IMO, it's not awful but definitely overpriced. Have a glassblower make you a better-looking piece and fill it up with Belvedere. Titos



FTFY
 
2014-02-19 11:20:06 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Alexei Novikov: Ryker's Peninsula: Has anyone actually tried this?  Is it just a gimmick, or is it good?  How good on a scale from Popov to Grey Goose?
I've seen it in BevMo, but was always afraid to buy one and have the bottle left over and have company stop by and see it and be all like: "You must be a really big fan of of that last Indiana Jones movie."

IMO, it's not awful but definitely overpriced. Have a glassblower make you a better-looking piece and fill it up with Belvedere. Titos


FTFY


I wish, but I haven't seen it in my local stores. Belvedere is already about as refined as the worthless hillbillies around here are willing to tolerate.
 
2014-02-19 11:25:04 PM
The vodka was forgettable, we use the bottle for Jameson.
 
2014-02-19 11:25:50 PM
www.triviala.com
Would you please repeat the destination?
 
2014-02-19 11:28:20 PM
The man believes everything anyone has ever told him, including that the world needs a third Ghostbusters movie.

scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net

Look at what I found at Goodwill a few weeks ago. He think's Men In Black was a documentary.
 
2014-02-19 11:31:12 PM

wildcardjack: Look at what I found at Goodwill a few weeks ago. He think's Men In Black was a documentary.


He thinks Ghostbusters is a documentary.
 
2014-02-19 11:33:43 PM

wildcardjack: The man believes everything anyone has ever told him, including that the world needs a third Ghostbusters movie.

[scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net image 720x960]

Look at what I found at Goodwill a few weeks ago. He think's Men In Black was a documentary.


I'm sure he contributed that line about the Tunguska event being an "interdimensional cross-rip" in Ghostbusters, and I'm sure he believes it too. Too bad the putz couldn't even get the year right (the correct year being 1908, not 1909).
 
2014-02-19 11:37:27 PM

Confabulat: brap: Crystal Head makes for a loverly decanter.  Not worth the price but purchase price but worth refilling with Smirnoff.

Hard to whip that out at the bus stop though.


Ironically, it's probably one of the least-arrestable things that one could whip out at a bus stop


/what?!
//stop looking at me like that
;)
 
2014-02-19 11:49:03 PM
I heard he also eats ass burgers.
 
2014-02-19 11:51:01 PM

Longtooth: The vodka was forgettable, we use the bottle for Jameson.


Jameson comes in its own bottle...
 
2014-02-19 11:56:58 PM
Next, forensic scientists reconstruct the face of Bruce Jenner.
 
2014-02-19 11:59:55 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: wildcardjack: The man believes everything anyone has ever told him, including that the world needs a third Ghostbusters movie.

[scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net image 720x960]

Look at what I found at Goodwill a few weeks ago. He think's Men In Black was a documentary.

I'm sure he contributed that line about the Tunguska event being an "interdimensional cross-rip" in Ghostbusters, and I'm sure he believes it too. Too bad the putz couldn't even get the year right (the correct year being 1908, not 1909).


It ended in 1908 but the rip began in 1909
 
2014-02-20 12:03:44 AM
wildcardjack: The man believes everything anyone has ever told him, including that the world needs a third Ghostbusters movie.

...and that the world needed yet *another* brand of vodka.
 
2014-02-20 12:32:37 AM
The shiny teeth make me think of Jaws, the Bond villain.  Remember him?

www.thetallestman.com

Side note; in my GIS I also saw this:

www.livethebondlife.com

I couldn't help mentally captioning it:  "And I will hug him and squeeze him and call him James!"
 
2014-02-20 12:33:01 AM
Subby, you dolt... there's no "c" in Aykroyd. Mod who greenlighted this? You should probably check the spelling of peoples' named before just slapping shiat on the main page.
 
2014-02-20 12:41:19 AM
Does this kind of reconstruction really work? If you take a fresh cadaver, photograph the face, chop the head, do whatever is needed to reduce it to a skull, give it to a reconstruction specialist who's never seen the original, will he really produce something that looks like the original face?

I'm thinking that it does probably works but I'd like to see proof.
 
2014-02-20 12:44:55 AM

talkertopc: Does this kind of reconstruction really work? If you take a fresh cadaver, photograph the face, chop the head, do whatever is needed to reduce it to a skull, give it to a reconstruction specialist who's never seen the original, will he really produce something that looks like the original face?

I'm thinking that it does probably works but I'd like to see proof.


That's pretty much how we know what ancient species of human looked like. 

I can't believe I'm about to link to a pintrest page, but it's actually a great list of examples.

http://www.pinterest.com/waywardtraveler/historical-facial-reconstru ct ion/

It's got controversy associated with it, but it's proven enough to be correct that the science is continually advancing.
 
2014-02-20 12:58:00 AM
That was my skull! I'm so wasted! Jeff Spicoli Rand Paul
i154.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-20 01:05:42 AM

Alexei Novikov: Smeggy Smurf: Alexei Novikov: Ryker's Peninsula: Has anyone actually tried this?  Is it just a gimmick, or is it good?  How good on a scale from Popov to Grey Goose?
I've seen it in BevMo, but was always afraid to buy one and have the bottle left over and have company stop by and see it and be all like: "You must be a really big fan of of that last Indiana Jones movie."

IMO, it's not awful but definitely overpriced. Have a glassblower make you a better-looking piece and fill it up with Belvedere. Titos


FTFY

I wish, but I haven't seen it in my local stores. Belvedere is already about as refined as the worthless hillbillies around here are willing to tolerate.


You poor bastard.  I'll have a shot for you and curse the wankers that won't bring you Titos
 
2014-02-20 01:08:30 AM

Dahnkster: That was my skull! I'm so wasted! Jeff Spicoli Rand Paul
[i154.photobucket.com image 800x600]


1-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2014-02-20 01:20:04 AM

Ryker's Peninsula: Has anyone actually tried this?  Is it just a gimmick, or is it good?  How good on a scale from Popov to Grey Goose?
I've seen it in BevMo, but was always afraid to buy one and have the bottle left over and have company stop by and see it and be all like: "You must be a really big fan of of that last Indiana Jones movie."


I once drank about 4 of the big bottles of it because the bartenders at my favorite bar wanted the bottles (over a few months). It was not terrible, better than cheap stuff but not worth the full price I would have been paying once they ran out of the free bottles they got. Tito's is much better, and cheaper. Really, better and cheaper than all the top shelf vodkas.
 
2014-02-20 03:38:32 AM
You can keep your Stoli and your stupid crystal skulls.
This is what real vodak looks like.
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-20 04:25:05 AM
Bah you are pay atoo much for dat vodak
 
2014-02-20 05:33:41 AM

talkertopc: Does this kind of reconstruction really work? If you take a fresh cadaver, photograph the face, chop the head, do whatever is needed to reduce it to a skull, give it to a reconstruction specialist who's never seen the original, will he really produce something that looks like the original face?

I'm thinking that it does probably works but I'd like to see proof.


No, it does not.  It's art, not science.  Fat, skinny, skin color, lip size, nose size, ear size, skin condition, hair color/styling/length,  muscle size/tone, it's all created by imagination.

Unless it's based on portraits, textual descriptions, and other sciences(ie genetics or historical knowledge/geographical location for race), there is no necessary accuracy.  And even then, it is largely imagination, an artists rendering of what that person could have looked like.

Given a raw skull and that alone, does little. for the above traits.  Sure, it may be repeatable if they're all following the same "rules" for skin depth(those peg standoffs), but that's similar to astrology(IE if you were born on X, you're a Taurus)

So, really, its akin to the conmen that "speak with the dead", adding in detail based on the information given to them by others.  Only when there is a lot of that information does it necessarily sound(look) the way it actually was.
 
2014-02-20 06:35:35 AM

Nix Nightbird: Mod who greenlighted this? You should probably check the spelling


stopped reading, right there.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Don't you know Fark is for drunks and degenerates, by drunks and degenerates?!

Dahnkster: That was my skull! I'm so wasted! Jeff Spicoli Rand Paul
[i154.photobucket.com image 800x600]


That's a beautiful vase!
 
2014-02-20 07:05:57 AM
It's Peaches Valentine!

/not obscure if you're cool
 
2014-02-20 07:50:20 AM
I was hoping it was Belushi
 
2014-02-20 09:56:37 AM

RockofAges: red5ish: You can keep your Stoli and your stupid crystal skulls.
This is what real vodak looks like.
[img.fark.net image 850x1415]

Yea, Absolut is my favourite as well. The reason? It tastes like water, not alcohol. You can mix it with anything and barely taste the booze. Deceptive ,though, and dangerous ;).


Absolut is not real vodak, it's not even Russian.

This is real vodak.

www.surfnsandliquors.com
 
2014-02-20 10:13:28 AM
I cant remember what it taste like but i use mine as a toothbrush holder in my bathroom ... sure i have to clean it every few days but it looks awesome!
 
2014-02-20 10:58:48 AM
I agree with the Absolut and Stoli ... they are definitely my favorites.

When I worry about price and feel like getting my drink on I usually buy a bottle of Kirkland from Costco.
 
2014-02-20 11:45:18 AM

Mister Peejay: That's what the plastic bottle of gas station 42-proof vodka is for.


Kids today.   Haven't you ever heard of flasks?
 
2014-02-20 12:52:11 PM
Really--no Ketel One love?

Absolut has an odd taste. I will drink Smirnoff before Absolut unless it's in a bloody.
 
2014-02-20 01:40:37 PM

Alexei Novikov: Ryker's Peninsula: Has anyone actually tried this?  Is it just a gimmick, or is it good?  How good on a scale from Popov to Grey Goose?
I've seen it in BevMo, but was always afraid to buy one and have the bottle left over and have company stop by and see it and be all like: "You must be a really big fan of of that last Indiana Jones movie."

IMO, it's not awful but definitely overpriced. Have a glassblower make you a better-looking piece and fill it up with Belvedere.


Or buy an empty bottle online.
 
2014-02-20 01:53:40 PM

Kaiser Chieftess: Really--no Ketel One love?

Absolut has an odd taste. I will drink Smirnoff before Absolut unless it's in a bloody.


Absolut is the Boone's Farm of vodka
 
2014-02-20 02:36:30 PM

Dahnkster: That was my skull!


There is no limit to the amount of creativity stoners can conjure up when it comes to creating smoking appliances.

If only they could apply that same work ethic to, say, actual work.   Or personal hygiene.
 
2014-02-20 04:04:18 PM
I want to see this applied to the Mitchell-Hedges skull (ie, the "real" crystal skull). Be kind of spooky to look into the face of Quetzalcoatl...
 
2014-02-20 06:34:21 PM

red5ish: You can keep your Stoli and your stupid crystal skulls.
This is what real vodak looks like.
[img.fark.net image 850x1415]


Holey crap, really?  No, my friend, go get some Imperia and try some real vodka.
 
2014-02-20 08:16:28 PM
I think I used to work with that guy.
 
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