If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Right Wing Watch)   Jesus is coming with an AR-15. Look busy   (rightwingwatch.org) divider line 183
    More: Stupid, assault rifles, WallBuilders, Jerry Boykin  
•       •       •

4066 clicks; posted to Politics » on 19 Feb 2014 at 9:04 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



183 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-19 05:24:26 PM  
What does He need with an AR-15?  Hasn't God been smiting without one for centuries.
 
2014-02-19 07:58:05 PM  
img339.imageshack.us

I don't think this image was supposed to be taken seriously by anyone.
 
2014-02-19 08:32:20 PM  
Jebus always struck me as more of a big-bore guy. A .308, at least, so probably an M-14 (Match Grade) or an M-60.
 
2014-02-19 08:50:59 PM  

MrBallou: Jebus always struck me as more of a big-bore guy. A .308, at least, so probably an M-14 (Match Grade) or an M-60.


FN FAL

Cause I say so.

Which is pretty much the writers reasons also...
 
2014-02-19 08:56:41 PM  
You'd think he, being a Nazarene and all would carry whatever the IDF do. Or maybe, because "sword" is a non-metaphor for "semi-auto rifle" then perhaps "horse" is a non-metaphor for "Apache gunship."
 
2014-02-19 09:04:10 PM  

baka-san: MrBallou: Jebus always struck me as more of a big-bore guy. A .308, at least, so probably an M-14 (Match Grade) or an M-60.

FN FAL

Cause I say so.

Which is pretty much the writers reasons also...


Imperial, or Metric?
 
2014-02-19 09:07:00 PM  

MrBallou: Jebus always struck me as more of a big-bore guy. A .308, at least, so probably an M-14 (Match Grade) or an M-60.


Nah, he's gonna come riding over the hills in an M-1 Abrams with a fleet of Apache choppers above him while Ride of the Valkyries plays out from above and a division of bear cavalry behind just for extra awesome.
 
2014-02-19 09:11:35 PM  
IT'S NOT A METAPHOR!

Yes, it is.
 
2014-02-19 09:11:47 PM  
Wait a second! Wasn't the whole problem with Fast and Furious that Jesus ended up with the guns?
 
2014-02-19 09:11:48 PM  
The Second Amendment is literally the word of God? You can't parody that.
 
2014-02-19 09:12:33 PM  
something something swords plowshares something....
 
2014-02-19 09:13:46 PM  
Looney toon says something looney at a conference for looney toons, by looney toons.  STOP THE PRESSES!!
 
2014-02-19 09:14:19 PM  
o.onionstatic.com
 
2014-02-19 09:14:31 PM  
Why would god need a starship ar-15 . jpg   ?
 
2014-02-19 09:16:56 PM  

StopLurkListen: IT'S NOT A METAPHOR!

Yes, it is.


It's not a metaphor, except for the part where the sword is a metaphor for an AR-15.
 
2014-02-19 09:17:24 PM  
Christ, what an asshole.
 
2014-02-19 09:17:54 PM  
The Bible: totally literal except when it's not.

Also he can come back carrying whatever he wants, he's not getting past the border with a name like that.
 
2014-02-19 09:17:55 PM  

factoryconnection: You'd think he, being a Nazarene and all would carry whatever the IDF do. Or maybe, because "sword" is a non-metaphor for "semi-auto rifle" then perhaps "horse" is a non-metaphor for "Apache gunship."


Yeah, but Jesus isn't a jew anymore. He's a christian now. And the most christian nation on this earth is Amurrica(!). So, naturally, he's going to be carrying something domestically made. And remember too the saying "God made all men, but Samuel Colt made them equal". So I think Jesus will come in slingin a Colt Peacemaker
 
2014-02-19 09:18:54 PM  
Prince of Peace my ass.
 
2014-02-19 09:20:56 PM  

dennysgod: Prince of Peace my ass.


www.thetruthaboutguns.com
 
2014-02-19 09:21:34 PM  

Rapmaster2000: o.onionstatic.com


What the...I don't even...that doesn't even make any...

++++redo from start+++

++++out of cheese error++++
 
2014-02-19 09:21:53 PM  

Delta1212: The Second Amendment is literally the word of God? You can't parody that.


Uh, maybe. The Constitution enumerates rights that people have because they are people, not because the Gubment gives them those rights.
 
2014-02-19 09:22:52 PM  
Religion of Peace!
 
2014-02-19 09:23:26 PM  
Where, exactly in the bible, does it say Jesus is even 'merican? Wouldn't the chances be better that he comes back as an Israeli?
 
2014-02-19 09:23:30 PM  
These people are farking parodies of themselves.

And they don't even realize it!!
That's the part I don't get.

The crazy, I understand crazy. Everybody is a shade of crazy.

But that level of complete self-unawareness?
/Unpossible I say!
 
2014-02-19 09:23:48 PM  
A shame. He'll die without ever seeing his god come back. And so will the rest of us.
 
2014-02-19 09:24:39 PM  

baka-san: Rapmaster2000: o.onionstatic.com

What the...I don't even...that doesn't even make any...

++++redo from start+++

++++out of cheese error++++


*puts teddy bear back on baka-san*
 
2014-02-19 09:25:13 PM  

baka-san: Rapmaster2000: o.onionstatic.com

What the...I don't even...that doesn't even make any...

++++redo from start+++

++++out of cheese error++++


I'm still trying to figure out if that's a real comic or not, considering it's hosted at onionstatic which would make me think "theOnion" which is satire. If it's not satire.....then yeah, Jesus not being crucified would eliminate any reason for the right wing to even exist.
 
2014-02-19 09:25:32 PM  

kidgenius: factoryconnection: You'd think he, being a Nazarene and all would carry whatever the IDF do. Or maybe, because "sword" is a non-metaphor for "semi-auto rifle" then perhaps "horse" is a non-metaphor for "Apache gunship."

Yeah, but Jesus isn't a jew anymore. He's a christian now. And the most christian nation on this earth is Amurrica(!). So, naturally, he's going to be carrying something domestically made. And remember too the saying "God made all men, but Samuel Colt made them equal". So I think Jesus will come in slingin a Colt Peacemaker


25.media.tumblr.com

That's not Jesus...

/I know they're not Peacemakers
//still Colts, though
 
2014-02-19 09:26:03 PM  
I would expect a man from the Middle East to carry an AK-47.
 
2014-02-19 09:26:59 PM  

lj1330: Where, exactly in the bible, does it say Jesus is even 'merican? Wouldn't the chances be better that he comes back as an Israeli?


Well, Jesus #2 is not a Jew anymore he's a Christian. And Megyn Kelly, who I'm told has a personal phone line to The Lord and is on a first name basis with the Prince of Peace, told us all he's white. Where do white christians live? Amurrica!
 
2014-02-19 09:27:57 PM  

Dimensio: I would expect a man from the Middle East to carry an AK-47.


Or an UZI.
 
2014-02-19 09:29:13 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: Dimensio: I would expect a man from the Middle East to carry an AK-47.

Or an UZI.


His name is Jesus.  Obviously he's packing a MAC-10.
 
2014-02-19 09:29:14 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: Dimensio: I would expect a man from the Middle East to carry an AK-47.

Or an UZI.


If he were to use an Israeli weapon, why not a TAR-21?
 
2014-02-19 09:30:21 PM  

MFAWG: Wait a second! Wasn't the whole problem with Fast and Furious that Jesus ended up with the guns?


rimshot.wav
 
2014-02-19 09:31:12 PM  

kidgenius: I'm still trying to figure out if that's a real comic or not, considering it's hosted at onionstatic which would make me think "theOnion" which is satire. If it's not satire.....then yeah, Jesus not being crucified would eliminate any reason for the right wing to even exist.


For me it was more "umm, how can you have gun control before the invention of the gun?"

Also the "died for our sins" thing.

Tyrone Slothrop: ++++redo from start+++

++++out of cheese error++++

*puts teddy bear back on baka-san*


And thank you.
 
2014-02-19 09:31:15 PM  
They to forget the AR-15 and go with force lightning.  Jesus is clearly like Anakin Skywalker and conceived through manipulation of midichlorians or whatever those things were.  When he returns, he will wield a crimson Sith blade and be shooting out force lightning.

furiousfanboys.com
 
2014-02-19 09:32:24 PM  
You guys are all wrong...NUCULAR JESUS!!10!!!
 
2014-02-19 09:35:24 PM  
So, Jesus, not being an American citizen, is this why Second-Amendmenters lose their shiat over background-check laws?
 
2014-02-19 09:35:51 PM  

Rapmaster2000: [o.onionstatic.com image 850x618]


Hmmmm, those guy don't look Jewish.

/Maybe they are tunnel cleaners with those fancy brushes on their hats.
//Got to keep the spiders away.
 
2014-02-19 09:36:13 PM  
When Jesus comes, he'll be wrapped in the American flag and carrying a cross and an AR-15.

Well, it could be either Jesus or tyrrany. They look alike to most non-Christians.
 
2014-02-19 09:38:56 PM  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxuThNgl3YA&feature=player_detailpage" >
 
2014-02-19 09:39:34 PM  

fusillade762: kidgenius: factoryconnection: You'd think he, being a Nazarene and all would carry whatever the IDF do. Or maybe, because "sword" is a non-metaphor for "semi-auto rifle" then perhaps "horse" is a non-metaphor for "Apache gunship."

Yeah, but Jesus isn't a jew anymore. He's a christian now. And the most christian nation on this earth is Amurrica(!). So, naturally, he's going to be carrying something domestically made. And remember too the saying "God made all men, but Samuel Colt made them equal". So I think Jesus will come in slingin a Colt Peacemaker



That's not Jesus...

/I know they're not Peacemakers
//still Colts, though


counts fingers

Well it's not Roland Deschain either.
 
2014-02-19 09:40:15 PM  
Finally, the end of the AK verses AR debate because Jesus.
 
2014-02-19 09:43:54 PM  
When Jesus comes back?

We'll be ready.

www.tornado-fixings.co.uk
 
2014-02-19 09:44:26 PM  

Wadded Beef: So, Jesus, not being an American citizen, is this why Second-Amendmenters lose their shiat over background-check laws?


No. They worship guns.
 
2014-02-19 09:47:35 PM  
And I believe now - I've checked this out - I believe that sword he'll be carrying when he comes back is an AR-15.

images.latinospost.com
Approves
 
2014-02-19 09:48:36 PM  

MFAWG: Delta1212: The Second Amendment is literally the word of God? You can't parody that.

Uh, maybe. The Constitution enumerates rights that people have because they are people, not because the Gubment gives them those rights.


No, the Constitution enumerates rights that the government gives us. I think that people deserve to have some basic rights, but I wouldn't point to the Constitution as a great example of what humans deserve as a basic foundation for living. Most of what is included there is very contextually dependent and procedural. The right to a free press, for instance, is not something that I would consider a basic human right. It is, however, something that I would consider important for establishing a government that isn't going to walk all over your rights. The same can be said for things like double jeopardy. There's no inherent reason why being tried for a crime more than once deprives you of basic human dignity, but it is one potentially effective way of preventing government abuse of power by blocking the ability to try someone until a desired outcome is reached.

The best arguments I've seen in favor of the second amendment place it in a similar category. I see no reason why the ability to own a gun is a basic right in and of itself, but I can see the argument for an armed populace to act as a check in government power (even if I don't subscribe to it myself in the context of our current society).

If the Bill of Rights was an enumeration of the basic requirements for human dignity rather than a playbook for protecting people's interests in a legal system, there are a number of things that are missing and quite a few things that it includes that seem a bit silly in that context.

And even if that was what it was meant to be, it's a list created by a bunch of politicians not the actual word of God.
 
2014-02-19 09:49:22 PM  
Being a conservative Christian should officially be a condition listed in the DSM.
 
2014-02-19 09:50:08 PM  

kidgenius: baka-san: Rapmaster2000: o.onionstatic.com

What the...I don't even...that doesn't even make any...

++++redo from start+++

++++out of cheese error++++

I'm still trying to figure out if that's a real comic or not, considering it's hosted at onionstatic which would make me think "theOnion" which is satire. If it's not satire.....then yeah, Jesus not being crucified would eliminate any reason for the right wing to even exist.


its the onion's 'editorial cartoons.' They are usually pretty much perfect in every way
 
Displayed 50 of 183 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report