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(Kotaku)   Your barista made a heart in your latte? That's cute   (kotaku.com) divider line 72
    More: Spiffy, baristas, lattes, heart  
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13686 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2014 at 5:10 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



72 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-19 05:13:28 PM  
Oh Japan!
 
2014-02-19 05:14:01 PM  
Hey, Rembrandt.  Can I just get a goddamned coffee or are you going to f*cking doodle all the day?
$12 please
Would not recommend this on weekday mornings up and down the Atlantic US
 
2014-02-19 05:14:11 PM  
#5 FOR THE WIN!
 
2014-02-19 05:15:14 PM  
First image has the tag "The floatingcorpseachino is born. "
 
2014-02-19 05:15:25 PM  
Well isn't that special...

Now then, why would you want your latte to look like a dead rat is floating on it?

img.gawkerassets.com
 
2014-02-19 05:16:00 PM  
They have bubblejet printers that print a picture on top of your coffee.
 
2014-02-19 05:16:29 PM  
I swear to God my cat threw up that exact same thing this morning.
 
2014-02-19 05:16:42 PM  

Evil Mackerel: #5 FOR THE WIN!


Maybe it was 7.
 
2014-02-19 05:19:36 PM  
If you have not seen "My Neighbor Totoro", or "Spirited Away", I suggest you do so. Then most of these decorations will make sense.... especially Cat Bus. You're really missing out on some good stuff...
 
2014-02-19 05:20:19 PM  

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: Well isn't that special...

Now then, why would you want your latte to look like a dead rat is floating on it?

[img.gawkerassets.com image 640x517]


This. I could not do any better but they look uniformly terrible. A standard but well-done heart or fern pattern looks much, MUCH better than any of these. IMHO.
 
2014-02-19 05:20:29 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: Hey, Rembrandt.  Can I just get a goddamned coffee or are you going to f*cking doodle all the day?
$12 please
Would not recommend this on weekday mornings up and down the Atlantic US


Coffee, the darkest roast you have and leave room for cream.
Out the door before the next guy even finishes SAYING what he wants...

"Uh, I ordered the Pikachu skinny vanilla latte, extra hot, with sprinkles, this one has Hello Kitty on it."

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH
 
2014-02-19 05:21:28 PM  
Luddites!!
 
2014-02-19 05:21:41 PM  
When I went to the Guinness factory this last summer; the girl that was bar-tending drew a 3 leafed shamrock in my Guinness' foam. It was pretty freaking cool.
 
2014-02-19 05:22:38 PM  
Queue the C&D letters from Hello Kitty's attorneys.
 
2014-02-19 05:22:52 PM  
Your barista made a little figurine in your latte? That's cute

www.incrediblethings.com
 
2014-02-19 05:22:53 PM  
And that's why I drink beer in the mornings...
 
2014-02-19 05:23:17 PM  

iheartscotch: When I went to the Guinness factory this last summer; the girl that was bar-tending drew a 3 leafed shamrock in my Guinness' foam. It was pretty freaking cool.


I once got that in Canada at a bar a long time ago and at the time it about blew my brain. In hindsight I guess it's not really a big deal but the first time it's way cool.
 
2014-02-19 05:25:30 PM  
None of you have seen Santorum lay one out in the shape of an elephant, so shut up.
 
2014-02-19 05:25:43 PM  
Thanks for spending several minutes on a piece of art I will immediately churn into the coffee it's supposed to be flavoring. I'm sure the metaphor is not lost on either of us.

// actually (*sniff*) I only drink free coffee - at work I have a cup, and at home on the weekends I might have a cup
// and before you say anything, Marge buys the coffee
 
2014-02-19 05:28:11 PM  

iheartscotch: the girl that was bar-tending drew a 3 leafed shamrock in my Guinness' foam.

I guess you didn't get lucky?
 
2014-02-19 05:28:46 PM  
Neither I nor my GIRLFRIEND understand most of these.
 
2014-02-19 05:29:20 PM  

Joe Peanut: Your barista made a little figurine in your latte? That's cute


Now that is art.
 
2014-02-19 05:29:35 PM  
Don't eat the yellow snow foam
 
2014-02-19 05:31:25 PM  
Clearly this guy needs to be assassinated... preferably by his own students. 

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-19 05:32:16 PM  
This is one of the many reasons I get coffee at 7-11.
 
2014-02-19 05:32:24 PM  

iheartscotch: When I went to the Guinness factory this last summer; the girl that was bar-tending drew a 3 leafed shamrock in my Guinness' foam. It was pretty freaking cool.


What? If I *don't* get a shamrock in my Guinness foam, I send it back, no matter where I am.
 
2014-02-19 05:33:01 PM  
I just picture a sad little Japanese art barista shedding a single tear whenever somebody orders a plain black coffee.
 
2014-02-19 05:33:26 PM  
eatthattoast.com
 
2014-02-19 05:34:43 PM  
Wow that's great. Then they go to the back room and cry when they remember they still only make $7/hr.
Maybe get a useful skill and you won't have to make foam figures in coffee for a living.
 
2014-02-19 05:36:19 PM  
Just buy a box of Peeps and save money.
 
2014-02-19 05:36:59 PM  
Black coffee understands the emptiness that is life and offers nothing.
 
2014-02-19 05:41:29 PM  

tricycleracer: Black coffee understands the emptiness that is life and offers nothing.


Nah, man you got that wrong. Black coffee understands that you need to be a hard charging go getter take no prisoners kind of guy. It ain't got no time for all that fancy ass milk and sugar and shiat.
 
2014-02-19 05:46:36 PM  
img.gawkerassets.com

Nailed it!
 
2014-02-19 05:55:46 PM  
Catbus!
 
2014-02-19 05:56:43 PM  
img.gawkerassets.com

Asked for coffee, not a contract dammit.
 
2014-02-19 06:00:58 PM  
Another useless Gawker Media "article".

/also, meh; it looks like they just put on a lot of foam and then airbrushed it
 
2014-02-19 06:01:26 PM  
Those are really really cute. They're also not lattes.
 
2014-02-19 06:04:10 PM  
Use #102:

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-19 06:07:58 PM  
That's nice.

House coffee. Black.
 
2014-02-19 07:04:24 PM  
s28.postimg.org
 
2014-02-19 07:14:56 PM  
Not impressed. My cappuccino comes with a picture of labia on top.

www.colourbox.com
 
2014-02-19 07:20:14 PM  

Gordon Bennett: Not impressed. My cappuccino comes with a picture of labia on top.


A man's or a woman's?

/obscure?
 
2014-02-19 07:20:15 PM  
Clowns in your coffee, clowns in your coffee...

img.gawkerassets.com
 
2014-02-19 07:34:07 PM  
Me to that barista: "Are you finished farking with my coffee yet? I'd like to drink it while it's still above room temperature".
 
2014-02-19 07:41:43 PM  

brap: I just picture a sad little Japanese art barista shedding a single tear whenever somebody orders a plain black coffee.


Whenever I get coffee from any establishment that's exactly what I ask for; large black coffee. I'm not there to play name games with types and sizes.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-02-19 07:42:07 PM  

Joe Peanut: Your barista made a little figurine in your latte? That's cute

[www.incrediblethings.com image 570x426]


Wonderful. My coffee has a frigging Salvador Dali Theme. Prissy-ass barista. Just make me my goddamned drip, will ya?
 
2014-02-19 07:48:46 PM  

Joe Peanut: Your barista made a little figurine in your latte? That's cute

[www.incrediblethings.com image 570x426]


You can't get that at your standard coffee house, you have to go visit the Salvador Deli.
 
2014-02-19 07:49:06 PM  
who the hell even drinks coffee? barf-o-rama
 
2014-02-19 07:59:20 PM  
What a rip-off. You can get the virtual coffee (empty cup) for $3.
 
2014-02-19 08:02:49 PM  

a particular individual: Clowns in your coffee, clowns in your coffee...

[img.gawkerassets.com image 640x480]


I was thinking "KISS really IS marketing everything..."
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-02-19 08:03:26 PM  

LazarusLong42: Joe Peanut: Your barista made a little figurine in your latte? That's cute

[www.incrediblethings.com image 570x426]

You can't get that at your standard coffee house, you have to go visit the Salvador Deli.


/go shake your tiny fist
 
2014-02-19 08:07:13 PM  
They always top it with cutesy stuff. Who wants to see that first thing in the morning? If someone topped one with Cthulhu I might start drinking coffee.

The best part of waking up is Cthulhu in your cup.
 
2014-02-19 08:07:56 PM  

a particular individual: Clowns in your coffee, clowns in your coffee...

[img.gawkerassets.com image 640x480]


Not a clown. It's a monster that eats people* at public bath houses.

*In the broadest possible sense.
 
2014-02-19 08:42:53 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Those are really really cute. They're also not lattes.


Yeah, that much foam, technically cappuccinos. 

vodka: who the hell even drinks coffee? barf-o-rama


I know right, not like its the second most traded commodity on the planet after oil or anything like that...
 
2014-02-19 08:50:04 PM  

abhorrent1: Wow that's great. Then they go to the back room and cry when they remember they still only make $7/hr.
Maybe get a useful skill and you won't have to make foam figures in coffee for a living.


So you're the person I always get stuck behind in line at the coffee shop who berates the staff?.  News for you: When you leave, It's not the person behind the counter that everyone mocks.
 
2014-02-19 09:04:45 PM  
No, I said he put a hard on in my latte.
 
2014-02-19 09:24:36 PM  

abhorrent1: Wow that's great. Then they go to the back room and cry when they remember they still only make $7/hr.
Maybe get a useful skill and you won't have to make foam figures in coffee for a living.


I'm willing to bet a good barista makes more than you do in any given day.  BONUS: significant portions of that are in untaxed tips.

If we are talking about nearly any major chain... fark 'em.  Not only can they not make coffee, they can't even take an order properly.

But you go into any decent cafe on the west coast, and the guy or gal serving your coffee makes good coffee and good money.  (for a menial job you could train a talented monkey to do)
 
2014-02-19 09:28:18 PM  

a particular individual: Clowns in your coffee, clowns in your coffee...


img.fark.net

filmmargins.files.wordpress.com
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-02-19 09:28:55 PM  

Kahabut: abhorrent1: Wow that's great. Then they go to the back room and cry when they remember they still only make $7/hr.
Maybe get a useful skill and you won't have to make foam figures in coffee for a living.

I'm willing to bet a good barista makes more than you do in any given day.  BONUS: significant portions of that are in untaxed tips.

If we are talking about nearly any major chain... fark 'em.  Not only can they not make coffee, they can't even take an order properly.

But you go into any decent cafe on the west coast, and the guy or gal serving your coffee makes good coffee and good money.  (for a menial job you could train a talented monkey to do)


i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-02-19 10:23:23 PM  
What, no Cait Sith?
 
2014-02-19 10:46:54 PM  
img.gawkerassets.com

Kyubey-latte, pour directly in the trash.
Kyubey-latte, pour directly in the trash.
Kyubey-latte, pour directly in the trash.
 
2014-02-19 10:48:28 PM  

American Decency Association: a particular individual: Clowns in your coffee, clowns in your coffee...

[img.fark.net image 640x480]

[filmmargins.files.wordpress.com image 640x449]


I thought it was The Crow
 
2014-02-19 11:06:11 PM  

vodka: who the hell even drinks coffee? barf-o-rama


Not only did you misspell your name but you're wrong too.
 
2014-02-20 01:00:00 AM  

vodka: who the hell even drinks coffee? barf-o-rama


SACRILEGE!!! BURN, KILL THE HERETIC!!!!!
 
2014-02-20 01:00:02 AM  

Kahabut: 'm willing to bet a good barista makes more than you do in any given day. BONUS: significant portions of that are in untaxed tips.

If we are talking about nearly any major chain... fark 'em. Not only can they not make coffee, they can't even take an order properly.

But you go into any decent cafe on the west coast, and the guy or gal serving your coffee makes good coffee and good money. (for a menial job you could train a talented monkey to do)


You're actually wrong on just about all counts here.  Even baristas in very high-end coffee houses don't make all that much money.  You also obviously have no idea how difficult it is to pull a good espresso.  The really good baristas are incredibly skilled and practiced at what they do.  It's not a menial job by any stretch of the imagination.
 
2014-02-20 01:10:49 AM  

Z-clipped: Kahabut: 'm willing to bet a good barista makes more than you do in any given day. BONUS: significant portions of that are in untaxed tips.

If we are talking about nearly any major chain... fark 'em. Not only can they not make coffee, they can't even take an order properly.

But you go into any decent cafe on the west coast, and the guy or gal serving your coffee makes good coffee and good money. (for a menial job you could train a talented monkey to do)

You're actually wrong on just about all counts here.  Even baristas in very high-end coffee houses don't make all that much money.  You also obviously have no idea how difficult it is to pull a good espresso.  The really good baristas are incredibly skilled and practiced at what they do.  It's not a menial job by any stretch of the imagination.


I worked as a barista 15 or so years ago, I made a great deal of tips.

It isn't a difficult job.  "Pulling" good espresso is a reasonably simple skill to learn, and has more to do with good equipment than it does anything else.
 
2014-02-20 03:39:45 AM  

Kahabut: Z-clipped: Kahabut: 'm willing to bet a good barista makes more than you do in any given day. BONUS: significant portions of that are in untaxed tips.

If we are talking about nearly any major chain... fark 'em. Not only can they not make coffee, they can't even take an order properly.

But you go into any decent cafe on the west coast, and the guy or gal serving your coffee makes good coffee and good money. (for a menial job you could train a talented monkey to do)

You're actually wrong on just about all counts here.  Even baristas in very high-end coffee houses don't make all that much money.  You also obviously have no idea how difficult it is to pull a good espresso.  The really good baristas are incredibly skilled and practiced at what they do.  It's not a menial job by any stretch of the imagination.

I worked as a barista 15 or so years ago, I made a great deal of tips.

It isn't a difficult job.  "Pulling" good espresso is a reasonably simple skill to learn, and has more to do with good equipment than it does anything else.


The job had changed in a big way since then. So has the entire approach to coffee, and the equipment. You don't know what you're talking about.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-02-20 06:59:21 AM  

jiesenPSD: vodka: who the hell even drinks coffee? barf-o-rama

SACRILEGE!!! BURN, KILL THE HERETIC!!!!!


If I forget to have my morning cup soon enough after getting in the younger crowd will often prod me to go gets some so I stop beheading people for having the audacity to be breathing and living in such close proximity to me.
I can, at times, be a biiiiiiit cranky without my fix.
 
2014-02-20 07:20:48 AM  

LazarusLong42: Joe Peanut: Your barista made a little figurine in your latte? That's cute

[www.incrediblethings.com image 570x426]

You can't get that at your standard coffee house, you have to go visit the Salvador Deli.


Too far.   They are about an hour's drive from me.  I need my coffee now, damn it!
 
2014-02-20 07:56:46 AM  
If anybody tries to mess that much with something I am going to imbibe then I will return it and say "I asked for a coffee, take whatever this is back to your glee club and give me a damn coffee before I come round to that side of the counter and show you how useless your `barista training` was"

Must be a damn idiot to need training to go bang, click, click, press, lock and then press the right button...

barista
Pretentious sounding word used by dejected art history and drama majors that describes their employment in order to make themselves feel better about serving coffee.
-So what have you been up to since you graduated?
- I'm a barista at the Coffee Bean, but only until I get a sitcom.


Really, you call yourself a barista and you don`t know what ristretto means? (happened too many times)
 
2014-02-20 12:13:31 PM  
You're just too short to be a barista!!!
 
2014-02-21 01:50:32 AM  

Z-clipped: Kahabut: Z-clipped: Kahabut: 'm willing to bet a good barista makes more than you do in any given day. BONUS: significant portions of that are in untaxed tips.

If we are talking about nearly any major chain... fark 'em. Not only can they not make coffee, they can't even take an order properly.

But you go into any decent cafe on the west coast, and the guy or gal serving your coffee makes good coffee and good money. (for a menial job you could train a talented monkey to do)

You're actually wrong on just about all counts here.  Even baristas in very high-end coffee houses don't make all that much money.  You also obviously have no idea how difficult it is to pull a good espresso.  The really good baristas are incredibly skilled and practiced at what they do.  It's not a menial job by any stretch of the imagination.

I worked as a barista 15 or so years ago, I made a great deal of tips.

It isn't a difficult job.  "Pulling" good espresso is a reasonably simple skill to learn, and has more to do with good equipment than it does anything else.

The job had changed in a big way since then. So has the entire approach to coffee, and the equipment. You don't know what you're talking about.


Quantify whatever it is you are pretending to know something about.  Otherwise, you're pretty much the exact kind of sanctimonious twits that most of use are making fun of.
 
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