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(Daily Express)   Could this 87-year-old Spanish Duchess become the next Queen of Scotland?   (express.co.uk) divider line 125
    More: Interesting, Queen of Scotland, Scotland, queen, Charles I, First Minister Alex Salmond, Queen Anne, Duchess, head of state  
•       •       •

7173 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2014 at 5:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



125 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-19 07:33:38 PM  
This is most definitely Duchess of, not Jessica Alba.  You're not going to find Sean Connery referring to her as a "bonny, bonny lass."

cdn.images.express.co.uk
Seriously, why would the Scots, having wrested themselves away from one hereditary system of supporting a bunch of inbreds in a manner and style they don't deserve, wish to install another group?

/Would like to know the Scottish name for an ugly stick.
 
2014-02-19 07:36:41 PM  

Prey4reign: This is most definitely Duchess of, not Jessica Alba.  You're not going to find Sean Connery referring to her as a "bonny, bonny lass."

[cdn.images.express.co.uk image 590x350]
Seriously, why would the Scots, having wrested themselves away from one hereditary system of supporting a bunch of inbreds in a manner and style they don't deserve, wish to install another group?

/Would like to know the Scottish name for an ugly stick.


"Deep fried Alba"
 
2014-02-19 07:38:14 PM  
i141.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-19 07:38:27 PM  

Tillmaster: You do realize that
-    The first King of both Scotland and England was Scottish
-    The Scots initiated the Act of Union (for commercial reasons); it wasn't an English invasion

Sassenachs!


Scottish Father, English Mother.  Grandfather being a King of England and all.  That's how crowns usually unite, intermarriage and all.
 
2014-02-19 07:38:32 PM  

DamnYankees: Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister, who has already ruled that Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind. That itself is a huge incentive for Scots to vote no, because they'd have to join the Euro to receive the trade benefits of being part of the Euro Zone. And given the troubles on the continent, no one should be beating down the doors of the Euro.

There's no way in hell David Cameron is deciding who the Scots choose as a monarch. Where are you getting that from?


Dave Cameron "advises" the Queen to do lot of things.  That's part of the deal that came out of the civil war and other things; the monarch answers the Parliament.  I doubt Cameron would "advise" the Queen to adbicate in Scotland, and if he did, I think it could be a rare case where the Queen goes against the Prime Ministers "advice".  But he does, in theory, have the power to prevent QEII from being Queen of Scotland.
 
2014-02-19 07:38:53 PM  

what_now: Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate.


Henry II died in 1189 and William Wallace was born around 1270.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded.

That would be the Henry VII who concluded the "Treaty of Perpetual Peace" with Scotland in an attempt to end 200 years of war, would it?

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

James II was not thrown out for being a Catholic. he was thrown out for trying to dismantle the vestigial democracy and return to absolute power and the divine right of kings.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

The Jacobites were deeply unpopular in Scotland. More Scots fought on the Hanoverian side than on the Jacobite side at Culloden. Such reprisals as there were affected only the Jacobites; the rest of Scotland was unscathed and glad to see the back of the Young Pretender and his claim.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".

There is no particular reason to think that he won;t be King Charles. In fact it's a good choice, because it's one of the relatively few names of which Scotland and England have had (the same) two before, so it avoids all the Elizabeth the what problems we have now.

On behalf of the people of Scotland, I thank you for your interest, but would suggest that you invest a little time replacing distant memories of an almost wholly fictional Hollywood film with some facts before commenting and embarrassing yourself further.
 
2014-02-19 07:39:37 PM  
Queen Elizabeth is really still quite adorable despite her advanced age.

This gal? No.

Yikes.
 
2014-02-19 07:39:52 PM  

Prey4reign: This is most definitely Duchess of, not Jessica Alba.  You're not going to find Sean Connery referring to her as a "bonny, bonny lass."

[cdn.images.express.co.uk image 590x350]
Seriously, why would the Scots, having wrested themselves away from one hereditary system of supporting a bunch of inbreds in a manner and style they don't deserve, wish to install another group?

/Would like to know the Scottish name for an ugly stick.


"Mashie niblick", and boy does her niblick look mashed.
 
2014-02-19 07:40:16 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Am I the only one wondering why an independent Scotland would need a monarch of any sort? I get if they stay a Commonwealth realm they'd keep Lizzy Deuce and the wacky Windsors as their royals like Canada or Australia do, but if they're even suggesting going far enough to not answer to that throne, why any?


Nobody in the UK answers to the reigning monarch. She's a ceremonial head of state.

Having seen the level of political debate on Fark, I quite like the idea of separating the person that represents the country from the government of the country.

I'm also suspicious of constitutional reform from the angle of politicians working the system to give themselves even greater powers.

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?


It's already settled. If Scotland chooses to leave the UK this year, the SNP tell us that Elizabeth will remain as head of state. And, we'll keep enter a currency union with the rest of the UK, to keep the pound sterling and have influence in the Bank of England. And we'll still be a part of the EU, despite Barroso saying that it would require a ballot of all member states - one that countries with secessionist regions, such as Spain, would veto. And we'll enjoy a welfare state as luxurious as Scandinavian countries, but without their high tax rates.

And we'll still be able to watch Eastenders.

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


This Scot, and, in my opinion, any self aware Scot, doesn't give a fark about any of that. All of those people are dead. How does that relate to what's going on today?

Any history prior to the Act of Union is pretty much null and void. Sure, perhaps some of my ancestors were treated poorly, but some of my ancestors may have been reavers that made the Borders a no man's land. And the Act of Union made Scotland part of a global power.

tl;dr version: The SNP's rhetoric plays to the anti-English bigotry of a portion of Scots. When told that things won't work like they say they will, they insist that it'll be fine, and the other side's just bluffing. They make promises that would mean massive tax hikes, ejection from the EU, and having to use a currency which they don't control. And were a yes vote to be delivered, I don't think most Scots outside the central belt would see any improvement of government over a Westminster government.

/This really grinds my gears.
 
2014-02-19 07:41:48 PM  
what_now:The wanted Charles Stuart- Bonny Prince Charlie- who was Jame's grandson. Not because they had any love for the Catholics, but because he promised to treat them better than the current King- George the II

Only a small proportion of Highlanders wanted Charles Edward Stuart as king. The rest of Scotland distrusted and detested him. The king at the time of the 45 rebellion was George III (not George II) who was extremely popular in Scotland.
 
2014-02-19 07:45:00 PM  
'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-19 07:47:04 PM  

Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister ...


It most certainly will not. David Cameron doesn't get to decide who the head of state of Australia is and he wouldn't get to decide who the head of state of an independent Scotland would be. Besides, there is an important principle that the people of Scotland are sovereign ... it's significant that Elizabeth was queen of England while Mary was queen of Scots.

Queen Elizabeth is the currently crowned queen of Scots (that's why the Stone of Scone was under the coronation chair) and she will remain so until she dies, she resigns or we decide we don't want her any more.
 
2014-02-19 07:49:05 PM  

tillerman35: Will England have to give back the Stone of Scone?  Or maybe just lend it out for coronations?


You mean the Stone of Scone which was returned to Scotland in 1996 and may be seen alongside the Scottish crown jewels in Edinburgh Castle?
 
2014-02-19 07:53:07 PM  

iron de havilland: It's already settled. If Scotland chooses to leave the UK this year, the SNP tell us that Elizabeth will remain as head of state. And, we'll keep enter a currency union with the rest of the UK, to keep the pound sterling and have influence in the Bank of England. And we'll still be a part of the EU, despite Barroso saying that it would require a ballot of all member states - one that countries with secessionist regions, such as Spain, would veto. And we'll enjoy a welfare state as luxurious as Scandinavian countries, but without their high tax rates.


Not sure how you'd keep the pound if England said no. More likely would be a pegged currency.
 
2014-02-19 07:57:45 PM  
It is a tough decision to make, but if I had to choose between living under Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart, the Dutchess of Alba, and Camilla, the Royal Steed of Cornwall, I think I would seek asylum elsewhere.
 
2014-02-19 08:03:22 PM  
Between the face lifts and the Botox injections, she's managed to make herself look like Hellboy's grandmother.

And here's his Mother:

img3.allvoices.com
 
2014-02-19 08:03:36 PM  
She was smokin hot six decades ago.
 
2014-02-19 08:04:39 PM  

DamnYankees: Not sure how you'd keep the pound if England said no.


Not sure how that'd be hard.  Again, the US isn't saying "yes" in any meaningful way to Ecuador, Panama, and El Salvador using US Dollars, issuing bonds denominated in US Dollars, etc.  They just... do it.

Scotland wouldn't have a say in the policies of the BoE, but effectively they never really have had much effect.  England isn't going to go off the rails with hyperinflation or whatever just to spite Scotland.
 
2014-02-19 08:07:21 PM  
Thanks to the four kingdoms of Scotland, England, Ireland and Wales being under one man, King William IV was also William III, William II, and William I.

Try to match the King to the right Kingdom.
 
2014-02-19 08:08:22 PM  
Just reading the article looks like a 600 year old soap opera. Kids not liking her choices of boyfriends notwithstanding. Some highlights:

Oliver Cromwell's inter-regnum.

I know what it means, but it n'er reads well.

He wrote: "Will the Queen be allowed to remain as Scottish monarch? "I have no doubt that the Queen herself would strongly prefer that she did.
"But it is not simply a matter for her. She is constitutionally obliged to take the advice of the Prime Minister, David Cameron
.

So the Queen say's "Aw hell noes", but is obligated to listen to Cameron's shiat anyway.

Doña María del Rosario Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart y Silva, 18th Duchess of Alba de Tormes, Grandee of Spain.

I know it's been in Fark threads before, but try putting that one on an application for anything. Oh wait, it's the Duchess. Applications don't exist.

The head of the 539-year-old House of Alba has been a duchess seven times over and enjoys the privilege of not having to kneel before the Pope.

Everyone else is constitutionally obligated to? What a guy.

Prior to her most recent marriage the Duchess of Alba's children tried to block her plans to wed Alfonso Díez.

Yeah we all read about that one. I wonder why? Oh yeah...old broad has control of the money they're squabbling over.

It was reported that her claims to the House of Alba wealth would be lost if she managed the civil servant.

Managed? Is that what you aristocrats call it nowadays? (yes I know it's a very old term).

However, the Duchess of Alba bypassed her children's concerns by giving them their inheritance in advance.

OK kids. Here's your damn money. Now STFU and get off the lawn.

She later claimed that she was still in control of her fortune.

Good thing. Damn kids were up in your business for a piece of the pie. Who's next to pay off?

"Anyway, as long as I am alive everything remains in my hands."

That will must be miles long and centuries old.

Reflecting on her wealth, Mr Oborne joked: "If she became queen of an independent Scotland she would be in a position to bail out the Scottish government financially."

Might want to keep her alive then. But what if she decides to will it to some animal or blow it all in Vegas?
 
2014-02-19 08:08:56 PM  

orbister: Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister ...

It most certainly will not. David Cameron doesn't get to decide who the head of state of Australia is and he wouldn't get to decide who the head of state of an independent Scotland would be. Besides, there is an important principle that the people of Scotland are sovereign ... it's significant that Elizabeth was queen of England while Mary was queen of Scots.

Queen Elizabeth is the currently crowned queen of Scots (that's why the Stone of Scone was under the coronation chair) and she will remain so until she dies, she resigns or we decide we don't want her any more.


Maybe you should pick another Alba:

i.imgbox.com
 
2014-02-19 08:10:18 PM  

OooShiny: 'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'

[img.fark.net image 450x584]


Yeah, the latest news on that douchebag's Scottish investment is that hes throwing a tantrum because they want to build an offshore wind farm within sight of his Menie estate golf course. He's investing in Ireland now.

Good.

DamnYankees: iron de havilland: It's already settled. If Scotland chooses to leave the UK this year, the SNP tell us that Elizabeth will remain as head of state. And, we'll keep enter a currency union with the rest of the UK, to keep the pound sterling and have influence in the Bank of England. And we'll still be a part of the EU, despite Barroso saying that it would require a ballot of all member states - one that countries with secessionist regions, such as Spain, would veto. And we'll enjoy a welfare state as luxurious as Scandinavian countries, but without their high tax rates.

Not sure how you'd keep the pound if England said no. More likely would be a pegged currency.


Yeah, that was my point. Sorry if I didn't make it clearly enough.

Worth noting, as well, that prior to the Eurozone crash, the SNP were all about how terrible the pound was, how it was bad for business and we'd be much better off with the euro.

They're prime political guff merchants.
 
2014-02-19 08:10:19 PM  

Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.


And she is richer than Oprah.
Skeet skeet skeet
 
2014-02-19 08:10:21 PM  

Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.


She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to look sexy at 87.
 
2014-02-19 08:12:52 PM  

GRCooper: what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate.

No.  Not even close.  The only thing accurate was the Edward I (not Henry II; that was the father of Richard Lionheart and John Lackland, and husband of Eleanor of Aquitaine - *that* movie is "The Lion in Winter") was known as the Hammer of the Scots.  Braveheart = good movie, horrible history.

Also, subby, the proper title would be "Queen of Scots", not Scotland.


If you are referring to the title someone receives and not the job itself, perhaps. And even that's up for discussion (for the small group that actually care).
 
2014-02-19 08:13:44 PM  
Becoming Queen of Scotland?  Isn't that like winning the Bronze in the Special Olympics?
 
2014-02-19 08:17:08 PM  
If she's nay Scottish she's CRAP!
 
2014-02-19 08:17:45 PM  

FSTFKL: Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.

She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to try to look sexy at 87.


There's the problem.
 
2014-02-19 08:20:29 PM  
How much wealth do the deposed aristocratic families of Europe still control? In spite of the social upheavals over the last two hundred years, do these folks still have a significant political presence?
 
2014-02-19 08:20:47 PM  

orbister:  we decide we don't want her any more.


BTW, is there any right of return to cast a ballot? My 11th great-grandfather emigrated to America about 400 years ago.
 
2014-02-19 08:22:53 PM  
Only if she can pull the sword from the stone.
 
2014-02-19 08:24:35 PM  

OooShiny: 'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'

[img.fark.net image 450x584]


Coat of Arms:

i2.dailyrecord.co.uk
 
2014-02-19 08:27:16 PM  
 
2014-02-19 08:32:56 PM  
well she looks as if she had some bad haggis so why not.
 
2014-02-19 08:37:10 PM  
DamnYankees

The Scots were just as anti-Catholic as the English (perhaps moreso), so its not like they wanted James II to stay as King either.

The Batte of Culloden was more of a French thing than a Scottish thing, as far as I can tell - the Scots were involved as part of the Auld Alliance, not due to any love of Catholics. The Scots were more protestant than the English.


This is a bit oversimplified. "The Scots" were not a unified culture. Most of the Gaelic population was still Catholic, whilst the Anglic population was mostly Episcopalian or Presbyterian.

For obvious reasons, most of the Gaels fought for Teàrlach, but so did many Protestants. None of it had anything to do with "Scots hating Catholics."

Catholicism's decline amongst the Gaelic Scots was a product of the English government's vengeful harrying after Culloden.
 
2014-02-19 08:54:49 PM  

Mantour: OooShiny: 'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'  [img.fark.net image 450x584]

Coat of Arms:  [i2.dailyrecord.co.uk image 615x409]



Took me a couple tries to translate King Donald's ancient family motto from Latin, including tiny change of 'crines' to 'crinis' but totally worth it.  Well done.

/Pareo the crinis or you're functus officio!
 
2014-02-19 09:09:16 PM  
You know that sound Bender makes of surprise/panic/fear?
 
2014-02-19 09:12:48 PM  
wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
Keith Richards before the hair plugs.

cdn.images.express.co.uk
Keith Richards after the hair plugs.
 
2014-02-19 09:24:30 PM  

orbister: On behalf of the people of Scotland, I thank you for your interest, but would suggest that you invest a little time replacing distant memories of an almost wholly fictional Hollywood film with some facts before commenting and embarrassing yourself further.


That was far to polite to be genuine Scots.

/nevertheless, I think I shall shut up with my gratuitous faux-Scottish vocab-dropping
 
2014-02-19 09:25:54 PM  
Good laird, no.
 
2014-02-19 09:33:34 PM  
I've seen this movie. Campbell Scott plays the inventor/patsy. They showed him a picture of Jessica Alba, but in reality she's the Duchess of Alba. Or something. He gives her doorman a tennis book to give to her.
 
2014-02-19 09:40:35 PM  

Unobtanium: I've seen this movie. Campbell Scott plays the inventor/patsy. They showed him a picture of Jessica Alba, but in reality she's the Duchess of Alba. Or something. He gives her doorman a tennis book to give to her.


And the country could draw her tits from memory.
 
2014-02-19 09:53:35 PM  

OooShiny: Mantour: OooShiny: 'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'  [img.fark.net image 450x584]

Coat of Arms:  [i2.dailyrecord.co.uk image 615x409]


Took me a couple tries to translate King Donald's ancient family motto from Latin, including tiny change of 'crines' to 'crinis' but totally worth it.  Well done.

/Pareo the crinis or you're functus officio!


Or "Crinis humanum est." : To hair is human would be a good one too.
 
2014-02-19 09:53:51 PM  

naughtyrev: No.


Oh come on:  that is the face of Scotland, if ever there was one.
 
2014-02-19 09:57:01 PM  
Why not?  They're all related to each other one way or another.

Try doing a family tree file on the royals.  You'll be lucky your software doesn't explode.
 
2014-02-19 10:19:34 PM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-19 11:12:01 PM  

FSTFKL: Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.

She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to look sexy at 87.


There's a difference between not looking sexy and looking like Ron Perlman after being savaged by a pack of rabid wolves and patched up with flesh colored duct tale.
 
2014-02-19 11:26:51 PM  

VladTheEmailer: FSTFKL: Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.

She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to look sexy at 87.

There's a difference between not looking sexy and looking like Ron Perlman after being savaged by a pack of rabid wolves and patched up with flesh colored duct tale.


There's a difference between not looking sexy and looking like you cracked open the Ark of the Covenant.
 
2014-02-19 11:32:36 PM  
No one expects the Spanish coronation!
 
2014-02-19 11:43:00 PM  

felching pen: No one expects the Spanish coronation!


Our chief weapon is fear.  Fear and surGYYYAAAAARH!  No, just fear, just fear.
 
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