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(Daily Express)   Could this 87-year-old Spanish Duchess become the next Queen of Scotland?   (express.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Queen of Scotland, Scotland, queen, Charles I, First Minister Alex Salmond, Queen Anne, Duchess, head of state  
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7191 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2014 at 5:50 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



125 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-19 02:11:34 PM  
Faces of Meth bad plastic surgery
 
2014-02-19 02:14:01 PM  
No.
 
2014-02-19 02:14:43 PM  

naughtyrev: No.


QFT
 
2014-02-19 02:20:50 PM  
Do we care?
 
2014-02-19 02:25:42 PM  
Am I the only one wondering why an independent Scotland would need a monarch of any sort? I get if they stay a Commonwealth realm they'd keep Lizzy Deuce and the wacky Windsors as their royals like Canada or Australia do, but if they're even suggesting going far enough to not answer to that throne, why any?
 
2014-02-19 02:34:25 PM  

Bob Falfa: Do we care?


Deeply! Scotch is made there!
 
2014-02-19 02:51:50 PM  
No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?
 
2014-02-19 03:28:30 PM  

DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?


How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".
 
2014-02-19 03:33:52 PM  

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


The Batte of Culloden was more of a French thing than a Scottish thing, as far as I can tell - the Scots were involved as part of the Auld Alliance, not due to any love of Catholics. The Scots were more protestant than the English.
 
2014-02-19 03:33:52 PM  

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


I know all this, but I'm confused as to what it has to do with an alternate line. The Scots were just as anti-Catholic as the English (perhaps moreso), so its not like they wanted James II to stay as King either.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-02-19 03:36:15 PM  
The Last King of Scotland didn't work out all that well.  Maybe they should just give it a rest.
 
2014-02-19 04:05:04 PM  

DamnYankees: I know all this, but I'm confused as to what it has to do with an alternate line. The Scots were just as anti-Catholic as the English (perhaps moreso), so its not like they wanted James II to stay as King either.


The wanted Charles Stuart- Bonny Prince Charlie- who was Jame's grandson. Not because they had any love for the Catholics, but because he promised to treat them better than the current King- George the II
 
2014-02-19 04:12:22 PM  

what_now: DamnYankees: I know all this, but I'm confused as to what it has to do with an alternate line. The Scots were just as anti-Catholic as the English (perhaps moreso), so its not like they wanted James II to stay as King either.

The wanted Charles Stuart- Bonny Prince Charlie- who was Jame's grandson. Not because they had any love for the Catholics, but because he promised to treat them better than the current King- George the II


Yes, fair enough. But if that was the standard for rebellion then, is that not the same standard now? Would this random Spanish duchess treat them better than Elizabeth?
 
2014-02-19 04:23:53 PM  

DamnYankees: Yes, fair enough. But if that was the standard for rebellion then, is that not the same standard now? Would this random Spanish duchess treat them better than Elizabeth?


Well, she wouldn't have anything to do with them, same as Elizabeth. I think the question is- could they squeeze more tourist dollars out of people with a brand new monarchy, and the answer is probably yes.
 
2014-02-19 04:36:14 PM  

what_now: DamnYankees: Yes, fair enough. But if that was the standard for rebellion then, is that not the same standard now? Would this random Spanish duchess treat them better than Elizabeth?

Well, she wouldn't have anything to do with them, same as Elizabeth. I think the question is- could they squeeze more tourist dollars out of people with a brand new monarchy, and the answer is probably yes.


Aren't there economic benefits to being part of the Commonwealth? I thought there were. But yea, this is a good point. I imagine the economics of it will matter.

Also, lets not pretend this matters - Scotland isn't declaring independence.
 
2014-02-19 05:40:18 PM  
I don't know but I envision cutting of my ding-dong and feeding it to my dog before she takes me up on a forced offer of primae noctis.
 
2014-02-19 05:53:26 PM  
King of Scotland, maybe.


That's a DUDE, subby...
 
2014-02-19 05:54:09 PM  

what_now: Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder


Well no wonder! He was really fat and stinky and dirtied up the guest room.
 
2014-02-19 05:55:24 PM  

brap: I don't know but I envision cutting of my ding-dong and feeding it to my dog before she takes me up on a forced offer of primae noctis.


Your dog sounds like a real biatch.
 
2014-02-19 05:55:42 PM  
Separated at birth?

cdn.images.express.co.uk

www.localsyr.com

/Tough luck Ron. If you'd only made it another couple of years.
 
2014-02-19 05:55:48 PM  
Only after Ian McKellen dies.
 
2014-02-19 05:56:20 PM  
i36.mangareader.net
 
2014-02-19 05:57:53 PM  
i.imgur.com
The Duchess of Alba married a civil servant 24 years her junior in 2011
 
2014-02-19 06:00:18 PM  
She reminds me of this guy:


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-19 06:00:51 PM  
Scotland, where they pronounce Stuart properly.
 
2014-02-19 06:01:45 PM  
that's a hard 87.

she looks like she's related to Carrot Top.
 
2014-02-19 06:03:29 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-02-19 06:05:29 PM  
If Scotland decide to get rid of the Royals we will hopefully not be replacing them.

Republic Scotland
 
2014-02-19 06:06:30 PM  
and a big round of applause to her for earning every penny in her account through hard work & determination.
 
2014-02-19 06:07:24 PM  
All hail the Lizard Queen
 
2014-02-19 06:11:22 PM  
THEY MEAN TO WIN WIMBLEDON!
 
2014-02-19 06:11:36 PM  

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate.


No.  Not even close.  The only thing accurate was the Edward I (not Henry II; that was the father of Richard Lionheart and John Lackland, and husband of Eleanor of Aquitaine - *that* movie is "The Lion in Winter") was known as the Hammer of the Scots.  Braveheart = good movie, horrible history.

Also, subby, the proper title would be "Queen of Scots", not Scotland.
 
2014-02-19 06:12:07 PM  

Isitoveryet: and a big round of applause to her for earning every penny in her account through hard work & determination.


Seconded. Can we please evolve past this automatic rewarding of "high birth" people? Sheesh..
 
2014-02-19 07:01:17 PM  
if this is a crusader kings 2 game I could totally make this happen, a few wars and assassinations might be required if you want it done before the old hag kicks the bucket.
 
2014-02-19 07:08:19 PM  
 
2014-02-19 07:11:00 PM  

DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?


The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister, who has already ruled that Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind. That itself is a huge incentive for Scots to vote no, because they'd have to join the Euro to receive the trade benefits of being part of the Euro Zone. And given the troubles on the continent, no one should be beating down the doors of the Euro.

GRCooper: what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate.

No.  Not even close.  The only thing accurate was the Edward I (not Henry II; that was the father of Richard Lionheart and John Lackland, and husband of Eleanor of Aquitaine - *that* movie is "The Lion in Winter") was known as the Hammer of the Scots.  Braveheart = good movie, horrible history.

Also, subby, the proper title would be "Queen of Scots", not Scotland.


Exactly -- it's only slightly better historically than Mad Max.
 
2014-02-19 07:12:47 PM  
Will England have to give back the Stone of Scone?  Or maybe just lend it out for coronations?
 
2014-02-19 07:14:07 PM  

DamnYankees: what_now: DamnYankees: Yes, fair enough. But if that was the standard for rebellion then, is that not the same standard now? Would this random Spanish duchess treat them better than Elizabeth?

Well, she wouldn't have anything to do with them, same as Elizabeth. I think the question is- could they squeeze more tourist dollars out of people with a brand new monarchy, and the answer is probably yes.

Aren't there economic benefits to being part of the Commonwealth? I thought there were. But yea, this is a good point. I imagine the economics of it will matter.

Also, lets not pretend this matters - Scotland isn't declaring independence.


You can be in the Commonwealth without being a Commonwealth Realm - hell, Mozambique's in the the club because a British dude bought a farm there once.

That said, I want Duchess Meltface there to become Queen just for the lulz of making a nation of sheepshaggers contemplate celibacy.

"Angus, one look at yon cailleach I think me caber's gone aft agley."
 
2014-02-19 07:14:24 PM  
Radio Announcer: And now the BBC is proud to present a brand new radio drama series, "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots." Part One: The Beginning.
(music)

Man's voice: Yoo arrr Mary, Queen of Scots?
Woman's voice: I am!
(sound of violent blows being dealt, things being smashed, awful crunching noises, bones being broken, and other bodily harm being inflicted. All of this accompanied by screaming from the woman.)

(music fades up and out)

Announcer: Stay tuned for part two of the Radio Four Production of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", coming up...almost immediately.
(music then sound of saw cutting, and other violent sounds as before, with the woman screaming. Suddenly it is silent.)

Man's voice: I think she's dead.
Woman's voice: No I'm not!
(sounds of physical harm and screaming start again. then music fades up and out)

Announcer: that was episode two of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", specially adapted for radio by Gracie Fields and Joe Frazier.
 
2014-02-19 07:17:17 PM  

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


It's almost like your knowledge of history is based on what some guy in a pub said one time, that you vaguely recall.
 
2014-02-19 07:18:43 PM  

Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister, who has already ruled that Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind. That itself is a huge incentive for Scots to vote no, because they'd have to join the Euro to receive the trade benefits of being part of the Euro Zone. And given the troubles on the continent, no one should be beating down the doors of the Euro.


There's no way in hell David Cameron is deciding who the Scots choose as a monarch. Where are you getting that from?
 
2014-02-19 07:23:04 PM  
You do realize that
-    The first King of both Scotland and England was Scottish
-    The Scots initiated the Act of Union (for commercial reasons); it wasn't an English invasion

Sassenachs!
 
2014-02-19 07:23:50 PM  

DamnYankees: Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister, who has already ruled that Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind. That itself is a huge incentive for Scots to vote no, because they'd have to join the Euro to receive the trade benefits of being part of the Euro Zone. And given the troubles on the continent, no one should be beating down the doors of the Euro.

There's no way in hell David Cameron is deciding who the Scots choose as a monarch. Where are you getting that from?


http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/peteroborne/100260139/if-scotland- wi ns-independence-should-they-bring-back-the-stuart-dynasty/

Cameron has already denied Scotland the pound sterling. He is entitled to deny the Scots the House of Windsor, especially since the Scots had their own separate monarch before James the VI and I unified the crowns of England and Scotland in 1603.

So, he can't decide who they choose as a monarch, other than to say it won't be a Windsor.
 
2014-02-19 07:24:42 PM  

Speaker2Animals: Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind


Or... what exactly?  Some chunks of former Yugoslavia use the Euro directly as their currency without any authorization. Ecuador, El Salvador, and Panama use the US dollar (including US banknotes) without any particular approval from Washington.  Dozens of other currencies are nothing but pegs to one or the other of those two.

Unless the Bank of England wanted to re-impose currency controls, I don't see how they could stop an independent Scotland from using Pounds (or Euros or Loonies or Yen) all day long, even taxing in Sterling or whatever.  Scotland obviously wouldn't have any say in the management of the money.
 
2014-02-19 07:27:18 PM  
Very unfortunate looking woman. Haggis with a wig. She was pretty when she was young. Her plastic surgeon is probably in a dungeon. If he isn't, he should be.
 
2014-02-19 07:27:35 PM  
This lady has turned up on Fark before.
 s27.postimg.org

FARK headline: A young lady of Seville would not think of attending the bullfights at the Maestranza ring without.. OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
 
2014-02-19 07:31:00 PM  

tillerman35: Will England have to give back the Stone of Scone?  Or maybe just lend it out for coronations?


Isn't that sitting on a Scottish golf course, where Mac left it?
 
2014-02-19 07:32:33 PM  
Why oh why did I click? I knew it was going to be the Duchess of Alba.
Now I'm going to have nightmares again.

Day_Old_Dutchie: That was one of my all-time favorite Fark threads. Seeing confirmation over and over again that people "read" pictures the same way they read text (left to right, top to bottom) was a hoot.
 
2014-02-19 07:32:47 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Am I the only one wondering why an independent Scotland would need a monarch of any sort? I get if they stay a Commonwealth realm they'd keep Lizzy Deuce and the wacky Windsors as their royals like Canada or Australia do, but if they're even suggesting going far enough to not answer to that throne, why any?



The last part of the article where they mention that they want her 2.9 billion dollars to bankroll the new government
 
2014-02-19 07:33:02 PM  
Damn, she's hellarough.
 
2014-02-19 07:33:38 PM  
This is most definitely Duchess of, not Jessica Alba.  You're not going to find Sean Connery referring to her as a "bonny, bonny lass."

cdn.images.express.co.uk
Seriously, why would the Scots, having wrested themselves away from one hereditary system of supporting a bunch of inbreds in a manner and style they don't deserve, wish to install another group?

/Would like to know the Scottish name for an ugly stick.
 
2014-02-19 07:36:41 PM  

Prey4reign: This is most definitely Duchess of, not Jessica Alba.  You're not going to find Sean Connery referring to her as a "bonny, bonny lass."

[cdn.images.express.co.uk image 590x350]
Seriously, why would the Scots, having wrested themselves away from one hereditary system of supporting a bunch of inbreds in a manner and style they don't deserve, wish to install another group?

/Would like to know the Scottish name for an ugly stick.


"Deep fried Alba"
 
2014-02-19 07:38:14 PM  
i141.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-19 07:38:27 PM  

Tillmaster: You do realize that
-    The first King of both Scotland and England was Scottish
-    The Scots initiated the Act of Union (for commercial reasons); it wasn't an English invasion

Sassenachs!


Scottish Father, English Mother.  Grandfather being a King of England and all.  That's how crowns usually unite, intermarriage and all.
 
2014-02-19 07:38:32 PM  

DamnYankees: Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister, who has already ruled that Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind. That itself is a huge incentive for Scots to vote no, because they'd have to join the Euro to receive the trade benefits of being part of the Euro Zone. And given the troubles on the continent, no one should be beating down the doors of the Euro.

There's no way in hell David Cameron is deciding who the Scots choose as a monarch. Where are you getting that from?


Dave Cameron "advises" the Queen to do lot of things.  That's part of the deal that came out of the civil war and other things; the monarch answers the Parliament.  I doubt Cameron would "advise" the Queen to adbicate in Scotland, and if he did, I think it could be a rare case where the Queen goes against the Prime Ministers "advice".  But he does, in theory, have the power to prevent QEII from being Queen of Scotland.
 
2014-02-19 07:38:53 PM  

what_now: Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate.


Henry II died in 1189 and William Wallace was born around 1270.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded.

That would be the Henry VII who concluded the "Treaty of Perpetual Peace" with Scotland in an attempt to end 200 years of war, would it?

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

James II was not thrown out for being a Catholic. he was thrown out for trying to dismantle the vestigial democracy and return to absolute power and the divine right of kings.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

The Jacobites were deeply unpopular in Scotland. More Scots fought on the Hanoverian side than on the Jacobite side at Culloden. Such reprisals as there were affected only the Jacobites; the rest of Scotland was unscathed and glad to see the back of the Young Pretender and his claim.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".

There is no particular reason to think that he won;t be King Charles. In fact it's a good choice, because it's one of the relatively few names of which Scotland and England have had (the same) two before, so it avoids all the Elizabeth the what problems we have now.

On behalf of the people of Scotland, I thank you for your interest, but would suggest that you invest a little time replacing distant memories of an almost wholly fictional Hollywood film with some facts before commenting and embarrassing yourself further.
 
2014-02-19 07:39:37 PM  
Queen Elizabeth is really still quite adorable despite her advanced age.

This gal? No.

Yikes.
 
2014-02-19 07:39:52 PM  

Prey4reign: This is most definitely Duchess of, not Jessica Alba.  You're not going to find Sean Connery referring to her as a "bonny, bonny lass."

[cdn.images.express.co.uk image 590x350]
Seriously, why would the Scots, having wrested themselves away from one hereditary system of supporting a bunch of inbreds in a manner and style they don't deserve, wish to install another group?

/Would like to know the Scottish name for an ugly stick.


"Mashie niblick", and boy does her niblick look mashed.
 
2014-02-19 07:40:16 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Am I the only one wondering why an independent Scotland would need a monarch of any sort? I get if they stay a Commonwealth realm they'd keep Lizzy Deuce and the wacky Windsors as their royals like Canada or Australia do, but if they're even suggesting going far enough to not answer to that throne, why any?


Nobody in the UK answers to the reigning monarch. She's a ceremonial head of state.

Having seen the level of political debate on Fark, I quite like the idea of separating the person that represents the country from the government of the country.

I'm also suspicious of constitutional reform from the angle of politicians working the system to give themselves even greater powers.

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?


It's already settled. If Scotland chooses to leave the UK this year, the SNP tell us that Elizabeth will remain as head of state. And, we'll keep enter a currency union with the rest of the UK, to keep the pound sterling and have influence in the Bank of England. And we'll still be a part of the EU, despite Barroso saying that it would require a ballot of all member states - one that countries with secessionist regions, such as Spain, would veto. And we'll enjoy a welfare state as luxurious as Scandinavian countries, but without their high tax rates.

And we'll still be able to watch Eastenders.

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


This Scot, and, in my opinion, any self aware Scot, doesn't give a fark about any of that. All of those people are dead. How does that relate to what's going on today?

Any history prior to the Act of Union is pretty much null and void. Sure, perhaps some of my ancestors were treated poorly, but some of my ancestors may have been reavers that made the Borders a no man's land. And the Act of Union made Scotland part of a global power.

tl;dr version: The SNP's rhetoric plays to the anti-English bigotry of a portion of Scots. When told that things won't work like they say they will, they insist that it'll be fine, and the other side's just bluffing. They make promises that would mean massive tax hikes, ejection from the EU, and having to use a currency which they don't control. And were a yes vote to be delivered, I don't think most Scots outside the central belt would see any improvement of government over a Westminster government.

/This really grinds my gears.
 
2014-02-19 07:41:48 PM  
what_now:The wanted Charles Stuart- Bonny Prince Charlie- who was Jame's grandson. Not because they had any love for the Catholics, but because he promised to treat them better than the current King- George the II

Only a small proportion of Highlanders wanted Charles Edward Stuart as king. The rest of Scotland distrusted and detested him. The king at the time of the 45 rebellion was George III (not George II) who was extremely popular in Scotland.
 
2014-02-19 07:45:00 PM  
'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-19 07:47:04 PM  

Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister ...


It most certainly will not. David Cameron doesn't get to decide who the head of state of Australia is and he wouldn't get to decide who the head of state of an independent Scotland would be. Besides, there is an important principle that the people of Scotland are sovereign ... it's significant that Elizabeth was queen of England while Mary was queen of Scots.

Queen Elizabeth is the currently crowned queen of Scots (that's why the Stone of Scone was under the coronation chair) and she will remain so until she dies, she resigns or we decide we don't want her any more.
 
2014-02-19 07:49:05 PM  

tillerman35: Will England have to give back the Stone of Scone?  Or maybe just lend it out for coronations?


You mean the Stone of Scone which was returned to Scotland in 1996 and may be seen alongside the Scottish crown jewels in Edinburgh Castle?
 
2014-02-19 07:53:07 PM  

iron de havilland: It's already settled. If Scotland chooses to leave the UK this year, the SNP tell us that Elizabeth will remain as head of state. And, we'll keep enter a currency union with the rest of the UK, to keep the pound sterling and have influence in the Bank of England. And we'll still be a part of the EU, despite Barroso saying that it would require a ballot of all member states - one that countries with secessionist regions, such as Spain, would veto. And we'll enjoy a welfare state as luxurious as Scandinavian countries, but without their high tax rates.


Not sure how you'd keep the pound if England said no. More likely would be a pegged currency.
 
2014-02-19 07:57:45 PM  
It is a tough decision to make, but if I had to choose between living under Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart, the Dutchess of Alba, and Camilla, the Royal Steed of Cornwall, I think I would seek asylum elsewhere.
 
2014-02-19 08:03:22 PM  
Between the face lifts and the Botox injections, she's managed to make herself look like Hellboy's grandmother.

And here's his Mother:

img3.allvoices.com
 
2014-02-19 08:03:36 PM  
She was smokin hot six decades ago.
 
2014-02-19 08:04:39 PM  

DamnYankees: Not sure how you'd keep the pound if England said no.


Not sure how that'd be hard.  Again, the US isn't saying "yes" in any meaningful way to Ecuador, Panama, and El Salvador using US Dollars, issuing bonds denominated in US Dollars, etc.  They just... do it.

Scotland wouldn't have a say in the policies of the BoE, but effectively they never really have had much effect.  England isn't going to go off the rails with hyperinflation or whatever just to spite Scotland.
 
2014-02-19 08:07:21 PM  
Thanks to the four kingdoms of Scotland, England, Ireland and Wales being under one man, King William IV was also William III, William II, and William I.

Try to match the King to the right Kingdom.
 
2014-02-19 08:08:22 PM  
Just reading the article looks like a 600 year old soap opera. Kids not liking her choices of boyfriends notwithstanding. Some highlights:

Oliver Cromwell's inter-regnum.

I know what it means, but it n'er reads well.

He wrote: "Will the Queen be allowed to remain as Scottish monarch? "I have no doubt that the Queen herself would strongly prefer that she did.
"But it is not simply a matter for her. She is constitutionally obliged to take the advice of the Prime Minister, David Cameron
.

So the Queen say's "Aw hell noes", but is obligated to listen to Cameron's shiat anyway.

Doña María del Rosario Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart y Silva, 18th Duchess of Alba de Tormes, Grandee of Spain.

I know it's been in Fark threads before, but try putting that one on an application for anything. Oh wait, it's the Duchess. Applications don't exist.

The head of the 539-year-old House of Alba has been a duchess seven times over and enjoys the privilege of not having to kneel before the Pope.

Everyone else is constitutionally obligated to? What a guy.

Prior to her most recent marriage the Duchess of Alba's children tried to block her plans to wed Alfonso Díez.

Yeah we all read about that one. I wonder why? Oh yeah...old broad has control of the money they're squabbling over.

It was reported that her claims to the House of Alba wealth would be lost if she managed the civil servant.

Managed? Is that what you aristocrats call it nowadays? (yes I know it's a very old term).

However, the Duchess of Alba bypassed her children's concerns by giving them their inheritance in advance.

OK kids. Here's your damn money. Now STFU and get off the lawn.

She later claimed that she was still in control of her fortune.

Good thing. Damn kids were up in your business for a piece of the pie. Who's next to pay off?

"Anyway, as long as I am alive everything remains in my hands."

That will must be miles long and centuries old.

Reflecting on her wealth, Mr Oborne joked: "If she became queen of an independent Scotland she would be in a position to bail out the Scottish government financially."

Might want to keep her alive then. But what if she decides to will it to some animal or blow it all in Vegas?
 
2014-02-19 08:08:56 PM  

orbister: Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister ...

It most certainly will not. David Cameron doesn't get to decide who the head of state of Australia is and he wouldn't get to decide who the head of state of an independent Scotland would be. Besides, there is an important principle that the people of Scotland are sovereign ... it's significant that Elizabeth was queen of England while Mary was queen of Scots.

Queen Elizabeth is the currently crowned queen of Scots (that's why the Stone of Scone was under the coronation chair) and she will remain so until she dies, she resigns or we decide we don't want her any more.


Maybe you should pick another Alba:

i.imgbox.com
 
2014-02-19 08:10:18 PM  

OooShiny: 'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'

[img.fark.net image 450x584]


Yeah, the latest news on that douchebag's Scottish investment is that hes throwing a tantrum because they want to build an offshore wind farm within sight of his Menie estate golf course. He's investing in Ireland now.

Good.

DamnYankees: iron de havilland: It's already settled. If Scotland chooses to leave the UK this year, the SNP tell us that Elizabeth will remain as head of state. And, we'll keep enter a currency union with the rest of the UK, to keep the pound sterling and have influence in the Bank of England. And we'll still be a part of the EU, despite Barroso saying that it would require a ballot of all member states - one that countries with secessionist regions, such as Spain, would veto. And we'll enjoy a welfare state as luxurious as Scandinavian countries, but without their high tax rates.

Not sure how you'd keep the pound if England said no. More likely would be a pegged currency.


Yeah, that was my point. Sorry if I didn't make it clearly enough.

Worth noting, as well, that prior to the Eurozone crash, the SNP were all about how terrible the pound was, how it was bad for business and we'd be much better off with the euro.

They're prime political guff merchants.
 
2014-02-19 08:10:19 PM  

Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.


And she is richer than Oprah.
Skeet skeet skeet
 
2014-02-19 08:10:21 PM  

Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.


She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to look sexy at 87.
 
2014-02-19 08:12:52 PM  

GRCooper: what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate.

No.  Not even close.  The only thing accurate was the Edward I (not Henry II; that was the father of Richard Lionheart and John Lackland, and husband of Eleanor of Aquitaine - *that* movie is "The Lion in Winter") was known as the Hammer of the Scots.  Braveheart = good movie, horrible history.

Also, subby, the proper title would be "Queen of Scots", not Scotland.


If you are referring to the title someone receives and not the job itself, perhaps. And even that's up for discussion (for the small group that actually care).
 
2014-02-19 08:13:44 PM  
Becoming Queen of Scotland?  Isn't that like winning the Bronze in the Special Olympics?
 
2014-02-19 08:17:08 PM  
If she's nay Scottish she's CRAP!
 
2014-02-19 08:17:45 PM  

FSTFKL: Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.

She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to try to look sexy at 87.


There's the problem.
 
2014-02-19 08:20:29 PM  
How much wealth do the deposed aristocratic families of Europe still control? In spite of the social upheavals over the last two hundred years, do these folks still have a significant political presence?
 
2014-02-19 08:20:47 PM  

orbister:  we decide we don't want her any more.


BTW, is there any right of return to cast a ballot? My 11th great-grandfather emigrated to America about 400 years ago.
 
2014-02-19 08:22:53 PM  
Only if she can pull the sword from the stone.
 
2014-02-19 08:24:35 PM  

OooShiny: 'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'

[img.fark.net image 450x584]


Coat of Arms:

i2.dailyrecord.co.uk
 
2014-02-19 08:27:16 PM  
 
2014-02-19 08:32:56 PM  
well she looks as if she had some bad haggis so why not.
 
2014-02-19 08:37:10 PM  
DamnYankees

The Scots were just as anti-Catholic as the English (perhaps moreso), so its not like they wanted James II to stay as King either.

The Batte of Culloden was more of a French thing than a Scottish thing, as far as I can tell - the Scots were involved as part of the Auld Alliance, not due to any love of Catholics. The Scots were more protestant than the English.


This is a bit oversimplified. "The Scots" were not a unified culture. Most of the Gaelic population was still Catholic, whilst the Anglic population was mostly Episcopalian or Presbyterian.

For obvious reasons, most of the Gaels fought for Teàrlach, but so did many Protestants. None of it had anything to do with "Scots hating Catholics."

Catholicism's decline amongst the Gaelic Scots was a product of the English government's vengeful harrying after Culloden.
 
2014-02-19 08:54:49 PM  

Mantour: OooShiny: 'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'  [img.fark.net image 450x584]

Coat of Arms:  [i2.dailyrecord.co.uk image 615x409]



Took me a couple tries to translate King Donald's ancient family motto from Latin, including tiny change of 'crines' to 'crinis' but totally worth it.  Well done.

/Pareo the crinis or you're functus officio!
 
2014-02-19 09:09:16 PM  
You know that sound Bender makes of surprise/panic/fear?
 
2014-02-19 09:12:48 PM  
wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
Keith Richards before the hair plugs.

cdn.images.express.co.uk
Keith Richards after the hair plugs.
 
2014-02-19 09:24:30 PM  

orbister: On behalf of the people of Scotland, I thank you for your interest, but would suggest that you invest a little time replacing distant memories of an almost wholly fictional Hollywood film with some facts before commenting and embarrassing yourself further.


That was far to polite to be genuine Scots.

/nevertheless, I think I shall shut up with my gratuitous faux-Scottish vocab-dropping
 
2014-02-19 09:25:54 PM  
Good laird, no.
 
2014-02-19 09:33:34 PM  
I've seen this movie. Campbell Scott plays the inventor/patsy. They showed him a picture of Jessica Alba, but in reality she's the Duchess of Alba. Or something. He gives her doorman a tennis book to give to her.
 
2014-02-19 09:40:35 PM  

Unobtanium: I've seen this movie. Campbell Scott plays the inventor/patsy. They showed him a picture of Jessica Alba, but in reality she's the Duchess of Alba. Or something. He gives her doorman a tennis book to give to her.


And the country could draw her tits from memory.
 
2014-02-19 09:53:35 PM  

OooShiny: Mantour: OooShiny: 'Make me king, rename it Trumpland and I'll save your country by turning the whole place into a tartan-themed mini-golf astroplex financed by crushing junk debt that will haunt your descendants for the next 500 years.'  [img.fark.net image 450x584]

Coat of Arms:  [i2.dailyrecord.co.uk image 615x409]


Took me a couple tries to translate King Donald's ancient family motto from Latin, including tiny change of 'crines' to 'crinis' but totally worth it.  Well done.

/Pareo the crinis or you're functus officio!


Or "Crinis humanum est." : To hair is human would be a good one too.
 
2014-02-19 09:53:51 PM  

naughtyrev: No.


Oh come on:  that is the face of Scotland, if ever there was one.
 
2014-02-19 09:57:01 PM  
Why not?  They're all related to each other one way or another.

Try doing a family tree file on the royals.  You'll be lucky your software doesn't explode.
 
2014-02-19 10:19:34 PM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-19 11:12:01 PM  

FSTFKL: Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.

She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to look sexy at 87.


There's a difference between not looking sexy and looking like Ron Perlman after being savaged by a pack of rabid wolves and patched up with flesh colored duct tale.
 
2014-02-19 11:26:51 PM  

VladTheEmailer: FSTFKL: Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.

She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to look sexy at 87.

There's a difference between not looking sexy and looking like Ron Perlman after being savaged by a pack of rabid wolves and patched up with flesh colored duct tale.


There's a difference between not looking sexy and looking like you cracked open the Ark of the Covenant.
 
2014-02-19 11:32:36 PM  
No one expects the Spanish coronation!
 
2014-02-19 11:43:00 PM  

felching pen: No one expects the Spanish coronation!


Our chief weapon is fear.  Fear and surGYYYAAAAARH!  No, just fear, just fear.
 
2014-02-19 11:58:56 PM  
She's one of only two people who can ride their horse into the cathedral in Barcelona (the other is the king). She's one of three people who doesn't have to bow to the pope. With all her titles do come some interesting privileges.
 
2014-02-20 12:00:47 AM  
fc08.deviantart.net
 
2014-02-20 12:13:04 AM  
An actual honest to God Stuart? HA!
 
2014-02-20 12:20:41 AM  

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


Wait, we're not going to get a Charles III?  The Saxe-Coburg-Gothas have seriously let us down.
 
2014-02-20 12:31:14 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: This lady has turned up on Fark before.
 [s27.postimg.org image 402x305]

FARK headline: A young lady of Seville would not think of attending the bullfights at the Maestranza ring without.. OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?


www.slantmagazine.com
 
2014-02-20 12:48:45 AM  
If we look at the practice of other countries- Greece, Norway, etc.- who have found themselves independent and in need of a monarch, then "historical claims" will matter little. What will happen, in the unlikely scenario that Scotland both declares independence and isn't allowed to simply be a Commonwealth Realm like Canada and Australia, is that the Scottish government will find some foreign second-tier royal, or perhaps a native Scottish noble, with a suitably high-enough title or lineage, and whose personality and biography will enable the necessary popularity and non-controversy necessary to install a new monarch. In other words, somebody will be picked by committee and then presented to the public. 

It would be exceptionally silly of David Cameron to say that New Guinea and Barbados and Canada and Australia can have Elizabeth II as their monarch, but Scotland can't. Even if it's held up as a threat preceding the vote, which is likely to fail anyway, I really doubt as a political reality that would be the actual outcome.
 
2014-02-20 01:09:46 AM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Am I the only one wondering why an independent Scotland would need a monarch of any sort? I get if they stay a Commonwealth realm they'd keep Lizzy Deuce and the wacky Windsors as their royals like Canada or Australia do, but if they're even suggesting going far enough to not answer to that throne, why any?


Because that whole 'let's weed out the legitimate claimants' thing worked so well seven hundred years ago... oh, sorry, they asked King Edward to sort that one out. A few assassinations, a war, that rat bastard the Bruce was crowned, and they ended up part of the British Commonwealth eventually anyway.

Queen Lizzy's not that bad when you consider the alternative is crowning a Spaniard Queen of Scots. And Lizzy is technically in the proper line: without the history lesson, the family name was changed to Windsor in 1917, but it is the royal line for Scotland as well as Britain since the merging of the crowns three hundred years ago. However...the male Balliol line did not die out (and some Scots will still argue the point on that one) and there may be male contenders in the Stuart (properly Stewart) line through legitimate daughters--and civil wars are fun!

The only reason long-name-lady-from-Spain figures in is because of the change to the Commonwealth laws last year because of William's spawn, but if Scotland leaves the Commonwealth, does that law apply?

/Chad's bhios maide anns a' choill cha bhi foill an Cuimeanach
 
2014-02-20 01:11:43 AM  

Tax Boy: [i.imgur.com image 590x700]
The Duchess of Alba married a civil servant 24 years her junior in 2011


Her net worth is almost 3 billion. You know that dude married her for the money!
 
2014-02-20 01:12:53 AM  
So why would the Scots leave the kingdom of a queen they despise to replace her with a foreign queen ? Not going to happen.
 
2014-02-20 01:17:11 AM  

FSTFKL: Plissken: She was smokin hot six decades ago.

She actually wasn't too bad, there are several pictures here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320262/Duchess-Alba-autobio gr aphy-Why-turned-chance-Picassos-muse.html

Honestly, people, she's 87.  No one is expected to look sexy at 87.


No, but Betty White does a passable job of not looking like she's been beat up with an ugly stick repeatedly.
 
2014-02-20 01:27:49 AM  

Mokmo: So why would the Scots leave the kingdom of a queen they despise to replace her with a foreign queen ? Not going to happen.


Why have a queen at all?

As the Scots who live in Scotland (my branch of the family emigrated to Ireland, then to Canada, then to the US) have implied, if it doesn't make a difference in taxes, does it matter what corrupt farkwit ends up in charge? Personally, I'm not a big fan of Majesties and Highnesses and I don't bow as a general rule, regardless of the title a person holds, but Europe seems to have a lot of crowns running around, so more power to 'em.

Still, I can't imagine any country would be like, "sure! Send us the foreigner as Monarch!" That does hurt my brain.
 
2014-02-20 02:35:18 AM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Am I the only one wondering why an independent Scotland would need a monarch of any sort? I get if they stay a Commonwealth realm they'd keep Lizzy Deuce and the wacky Windsors as their royals like Canada or Australia do, but if they're even suggesting going far enough to not answer to that throne, why any?


Well, Scotland still has its own crown jewels, and technically owns the Stone of Scone - it'd be a shame to waste them.

Otherwise, yeah, gotta agree with you.
 
2014-02-20 03:18:51 AM  
inbreds are wierdos
 
2014-02-20 04:33:48 AM  
Her eyes aren't looking at the same thing... 

Of course that isn't the only thing that is frightening about her, just one of the things.
 
2014-02-20 04:58:20 AM  
And just to complicate matters, both the Stewarts and the Bruces, the traditional Scottish Royal families, were originally Norman.
 
2014-02-20 07:41:53 AM  

cynicalbastard: And just to complicate matters, both the Stewarts and the Bruces, the traditional Scottish Royal families, were originally Norman.


Yup. Macbeth -- libeled horribly by Shakespeare -- was the last truly Celtic king of Scotland.
 
2014-02-20 09:13:07 AM  
The only reason I can think of for this is Scotland's Gaelic name is "Alba."  Otherwise, this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
 
2014-02-20 09:30:05 AM  
Fapfapfap
 
2014-02-20 10:08:44 AM  

DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?


Nae trew Scots?

Also, I thought Ruth Gordon was dead.
 
2014-02-20 11:02:18 AM  
She used to rock the funbags (nsfw)
 
2014-02-20 11:20:59 AM  
Aigoo:

Still, I can't imagine any country would be like, "sure! Send us the foreigner as Monarch!" That does hurt my brain.

Bulgaria, Norway, Sweden*, Denmark, Greece, Romania, and basically any other monarchy that was created in the 1800s and needed a blue-blood ass to fill the new throne.  Germany's greatest export during that time was royalty.  Hell, even the Romanovs were German because they kept marrying German princesses.

"I'm as English as Queen Victoria!"
"So your father's a German, you're half-German and you married a German?"

* - ruled by German noble houses prior to the 1800s, but then they imported one of Napoleon's marshals...who turned around and declared war on France.  His spawn still sit on the Swedish throne today.
 
2014-02-20 03:35:11 PM  

Tillmaster: You do realize that
-    The first King of both Scotland and England was Scottish
-    The Scots initiated the Act of Union (for commercial reasons); it wasn't an English invasion

Sassenachs!


I do! my family coat of arms has three coin purses on it to remind us that we lent the  King of Scotland money and the right bastard stiffed us.
 
2014-02-20 03:38:17 PM  
There can be only One!
schaumburglibrary.org
King of Scotland
 
2014-02-20 07:30:24 PM  
DamnYankees:Not sure how you'd keep the pound if England said no. More likely would be a pegged currency.

Did the Zimbabweans ask US permission when they adopted the dollar?
 
2014-02-20 07:34:01 PM  

WhyteRaven74: She's one of only two people who can ride their horse into the cathedral in Barcelona (the other is the king). She's one of three people who doesn't have to bow to the pope. With all her titles do come some interesting privileges.


Where does it say that I have to bow to the pope? Or am I one of the other two?
 
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