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(Daily Express)   Could this 87-year-old Spanish Duchess become the next Queen of Scotland?   (express.co.uk) divider line 126
    More: Interesting, Queen of Scotland, Scotland, queen, Charles I, First Minister Alex Salmond, Queen Anne, Duchess, head of state  
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7057 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2014 at 5:50 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-19 02:11:34 PM
Faces of Meth bad plastic surgery
 
2014-02-19 02:14:01 PM
No.
 
2014-02-19 02:14:43 PM

naughtyrev: No.


QFT
 
2014-02-19 02:20:50 PM
Do we care?
 
2014-02-19 02:25:42 PM
Am I the only one wondering why an independent Scotland would need a monarch of any sort? I get if they stay a Commonwealth realm they'd keep Lizzy Deuce and the wacky Windsors as their royals like Canada or Australia do, but if they're even suggesting going far enough to not answer to that throne, why any?
 
2014-02-19 02:34:25 PM

Bob Falfa: Do we care?


Deeply! Scotch is made there!
 
2014-02-19 02:51:50 PM
No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?
 
2014-02-19 03:28:30 PM

DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?


How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".
 
2014-02-19 03:33:52 PM

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


The Batte of Culloden was more of a French thing than a Scottish thing, as far as I can tell - the Scots were involved as part of the Auld Alliance, not due to any love of Catholics. The Scots were more protestant than the English.
 
2014-02-19 03:33:52 PM

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


I know all this, but I'm confused as to what it has to do with an alternate line. The Scots were just as anti-Catholic as the English (perhaps moreso), so its not like they wanted James II to stay as King either.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-02-19 03:36:15 PM
The Last King of Scotland didn't work out all that well.  Maybe they should just give it a rest.
 
2014-02-19 04:05:04 PM

DamnYankees: I know all this, but I'm confused as to what it has to do with an alternate line. The Scots were just as anti-Catholic as the English (perhaps moreso), so its not like they wanted James II to stay as King either.


The wanted Charles Stuart- Bonny Prince Charlie- who was Jame's grandson. Not because they had any love for the Catholics, but because he promised to treat them better than the current King- George the II
 
2014-02-19 04:12:22 PM

what_now: DamnYankees: I know all this, but I'm confused as to what it has to do with an alternate line. The Scots were just as anti-Catholic as the English (perhaps moreso), so its not like they wanted James II to stay as King either.

The wanted Charles Stuart- Bonny Prince Charlie- who was Jame's grandson. Not because they had any love for the Catholics, but because he promised to treat them better than the current King- George the II


Yes, fair enough. But if that was the standard for rebellion then, is that not the same standard now? Would this random Spanish duchess treat them better than Elizabeth?
 
2014-02-19 04:23:53 PM

DamnYankees: Yes, fair enough. But if that was the standard for rebellion then, is that not the same standard now? Would this random Spanish duchess treat them better than Elizabeth?


Well, she wouldn't have anything to do with them, same as Elizabeth. I think the question is- could they squeeze more tourist dollars out of people with a brand new monarchy, and the answer is probably yes.
 
2014-02-19 04:36:14 PM

what_now: DamnYankees: Yes, fair enough. But if that was the standard for rebellion then, is that not the same standard now? Would this random Spanish duchess treat them better than Elizabeth?

Well, she wouldn't have anything to do with them, same as Elizabeth. I think the question is- could they squeeze more tourist dollars out of people with a brand new monarchy, and the answer is probably yes.


Aren't there economic benefits to being part of the Commonwealth? I thought there were. But yea, this is a good point. I imagine the economics of it will matter.

Also, lets not pretend this matters - Scotland isn't declaring independence.
 
2014-02-19 05:40:18 PM
I don't know but I envision cutting of my ding-dong and feeding it to my dog before she takes me up on a forced offer of primae noctis.
 
2014-02-19 05:53:26 PM
King of Scotland, maybe.


That's a DUDE, subby...
 
2014-02-19 05:54:09 PM

what_now: Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder


Well no wonder! He was really fat and stinky and dirtied up the guest room.
 
2014-02-19 05:55:24 PM

brap: I don't know but I envision cutting of my ding-dong and feeding it to my dog before she takes me up on a forced offer of primae noctis.


Your dog sounds like a real biatch.
 
2014-02-19 05:55:42 PM
Separated at birth?

cdn.images.express.co.uk

www.localsyr.com

/Tough luck Ron. If you'd only made it another couple of years.
 
2014-02-19 05:55:48 PM
Only after Ian McKellen dies.
 
2014-02-19 05:56:20 PM
i36.mangareader.net
 
2014-02-19 05:57:53 PM
i.imgur.com
The Duchess of Alba married a civil servant 24 years her junior in 2011
 
2014-02-19 06:00:18 PM
She reminds me of this guy:


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-19 06:00:51 PM
Scotland, where they pronounce Stuart properly.
 
2014-02-19 06:01:45 PM
that's a hard 87.

she looks like she's related to Carrot Top.
 
2014-02-19 06:03:29 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-02-19 06:05:29 PM
If Scotland decide to get rid of the Royals we will hopefully not be replacing them.

Republic Scotland
 
2014-02-19 06:06:30 PM
and a big round of applause to her for earning every penny in her account through hard work & determination.
 
2014-02-19 06:07:24 PM
All hail the Lizard Queen
 
2014-02-19 06:11:22 PM
THEY MEAN TO WIN WIMBLEDON!
 
2014-02-19 06:11:36 PM

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate.


No.  Not even close.  The only thing accurate was the Edward I (not Henry II; that was the father of Richard Lionheart and John Lackland, and husband of Eleanor of Aquitaine - *that* movie is "The Lion in Winter") was known as the Hammer of the Scots.  Braveheart = good movie, horrible history.

Also, subby, the proper title would be "Queen of Scots", not Scotland.
 
2014-02-19 06:12:07 PM

Isitoveryet: and a big round of applause to her for earning every penny in her account through hard work & determination.


Seconded. Can we please evolve past this automatic rewarding of "high birth" people? Sheesh..
 
2014-02-19 07:01:17 PM
if this is a crusader kings 2 game I could totally make this happen, a few wars and assassinations might be required if you want it done before the old hag kicks the bucket.
 
2014-02-19 07:08:19 PM
 
2014-02-19 07:11:00 PM

DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?


The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister, who has already ruled that Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind. That itself is a huge incentive for Scots to vote no, because they'd have to join the Euro to receive the trade benefits of being part of the Euro Zone. And given the troubles on the continent, no one should be beating down the doors of the Euro.

GRCooper: what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate.

No.  Not even close.  The only thing accurate was the Edward I (not Henry II; that was the father of Richard Lionheart and John Lackland, and husband of Eleanor of Aquitaine - *that* movie is "The Lion in Winter") was known as the Hammer of the Scots.  Braveheart = good movie, horrible history.

Also, subby, the proper title would be "Queen of Scots", not Scotland.


Exactly -- it's only slightly better historically than Mad Max.
 
2014-02-19 07:12:47 PM
Will England have to give back the Stone of Scone?  Or maybe just lend it out for coronations?
 
2014-02-19 07:14:07 PM

DamnYankees: what_now: DamnYankees: Yes, fair enough. But if that was the standard for rebellion then, is that not the same standard now? Would this random Spanish duchess treat them better than Elizabeth?

Well, she wouldn't have anything to do with them, same as Elizabeth. I think the question is- could they squeeze more tourist dollars out of people with a brand new monarchy, and the answer is probably yes.

Aren't there economic benefits to being part of the Commonwealth? I thought there were. But yea, this is a good point. I imagine the economics of it will matter.

Also, lets not pretend this matters - Scotland isn't declaring independence.


You can be in the Commonwealth without being a Commonwealth Realm - hell, Mozambique's in the the club because a British dude bought a farm there once.

That said, I want Duchess Meltface there to become Queen just for the lulz of making a nation of sheepshaggers contemplate celibacy.

"Angus, one look at yon cailleach I think me caber's gone aft agley."
 
2014-02-19 07:14:24 PM
Radio Announcer: And now the BBC is proud to present a brand new radio drama series, "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots." Part One: The Beginning.
(music)

Man's voice: Yoo arrr Mary, Queen of Scots?
Woman's voice: I am!
(sound of violent blows being dealt, things being smashed, awful crunching noises, bones being broken, and other bodily harm being inflicted. All of this accompanied by screaming from the woman.)

(music fades up and out)

Announcer: Stay tuned for part two of the Radio Four Production of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", coming up...almost immediately.
(music then sound of saw cutting, and other violent sounds as before, with the woman screaming. Suddenly it is silent.)

Man's voice: I think she's dead.
Woman's voice: No I'm not!
(sounds of physical harm and screaming start again. then music fades up and out)

Announcer: that was episode two of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", specially adapted for radio by Gracie Fields and Joe Frazier.
 
2014-02-19 07:17:17 PM

what_now: DamnYankees: No. Why would they not keep Queen Elizabeth?

How long do you have?

Basically, the Kings of England have farked with Scotland for a thousand years. Henry the II tried to wipe out the entire boarder- you've seen Braveheart. Besides the made up romance, it's pretty accurate. Henry the...(fourth? I think?) captured the children and wives of the Scottish barons and murdered and raped them- in that order. Others, he hung from cages outside for YEARS.

Henry the 7th married his daughter off to the Stuart king, and then invaded. Henry's Granddaughter Elizabeth executed their Queen (Mary Stuart), and then named Mary's son her heir. So the Scottish Stuarts were now Kings of England.

But a few generations later, the Stuart King decided to be a Catholic, so they kicked him out, and invited his daughter and son in law (William and Mary) to come be King and Queen instead, and when they died, they Hanovers- the current ruling family took over.

A few generations after that, the grandson of that Stuart King tried to invade through Scotland. The British didn't just beat the Scots- they wiped out survivors, women, children, animals and fields. They burned crops, they destroyed buildings.

Google "Culloden". The Scottish aren't happy with the Hanovers (Windsors). There's a reason that when Elizabeth dies, her son will take a name other than "King Charles".


It's almost like your knowledge of history is based on what some guy in a pub said one time, that you vaguely recall.
 
2014-02-19 07:18:43 PM

Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister, who has already ruled that Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind. That itself is a huge incentive for Scots to vote no, because they'd have to join the Euro to receive the trade benefits of being part of the Euro Zone. And given the troubles on the continent, no one should be beating down the doors of the Euro.


There's no way in hell David Cameron is deciding who the Scots choose as a monarch. Where are you getting that from?
 
2014-02-19 07:23:04 PM
You do realize that
-    The first King of both Scotland and England was Scottish
-    The Scots initiated the Act of Union (for commercial reasons); it wasn't an English invasion

Sassenachs!
 
2014-02-19 07:23:50 PM

DamnYankees: Speaker2Animals: The decision will be made by David Cameron, the UK's prime minister, who has already ruled that Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind. That itself is a huge incentive for Scots to vote no, because they'd have to join the Euro to receive the trade benefits of being part of the Euro Zone. And given the troubles on the continent, no one should be beating down the doors of the Euro.

There's no way in hell David Cameron is deciding who the Scots choose as a monarch. Where are you getting that from?


http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/peteroborne/100260139/if-scotland- wi ns-independence-should-they-bring-back-the-stuart-dynasty/

Cameron has already denied Scotland the pound sterling. He is entitled to deny the Scots the House of Windsor, especially since the Scots had their own separate monarch before James the VI and I unified the crowns of England and Scotland in 1603.

So, he can't decide who they choose as a monarch, other than to say it won't be a Windsor.
 
2014-02-19 07:24:42 PM

Speaker2Animals: Scotland will have to leave the pound sterling behind


Or... what exactly?  Some chunks of former Yugoslavia use the Euro directly as their currency without any authorization. Ecuador, El Salvador, and Panama use the US dollar (including US banknotes) without any particular approval from Washington.  Dozens of other currencies are nothing but pegs to one or the other of those two.

Unless the Bank of England wanted to re-impose currency controls, I don't see how they could stop an independent Scotland from using Pounds (or Euros or Loonies or Yen) all day long, even taxing in Sterling or whatever.  Scotland obviously wouldn't have any say in the management of the money.
 
2014-02-19 07:27:18 PM
Very unfortunate looking woman. Haggis with a wig. She was pretty when she was young. Her plastic surgeon is probably in a dungeon. If he isn't, he should be.
 
2014-02-19 07:27:35 PM
This lady has turned up on Fark before.
 s27.postimg.org

FARK headline: A young lady of Seville would not think of attending the bullfights at the Maestranza ring without.. OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
 
2014-02-19 07:31:00 PM

tillerman35: Will England have to give back the Stone of Scone?  Or maybe just lend it out for coronations?


Isn't that sitting on a Scottish golf course, where Mac left it?
 
2014-02-19 07:32:33 PM
Why oh why did I click? I knew it was going to be the Duchess of Alba.
Now I'm going to have nightmares again.

Day_Old_Dutchie: That was one of my all-time favorite Fark threads. Seeing confirmation over and over again that people "read" pictures the same way they read text (left to right, top to bottom) was a hoot.
 
2014-02-19 07:32:47 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Am I the only one wondering why an independent Scotland would need a monarch of any sort? I get if they stay a Commonwealth realm they'd keep Lizzy Deuce and the wacky Windsors as their royals like Canada or Australia do, but if they're even suggesting going far enough to not answer to that throne, why any?



The last part of the article where they mention that they want her 2.9 billion dollars to bankroll the new government
 
2014-02-19 07:33:02 PM
Damn, she's hellarough.
 
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