Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(International Business Times)   Earth was a big slime ball for a billion years before oxygen came along and made it into a better planet. Now they have been together for almost 550 million years and are still going strong. Begin your dating journey with match.com   (ibtimes.co.uk) divider line 21
    More: Interesting, Cambrian Explosion, University of Tasmania, dating, testicles, planets, mineral exploration  
•       •       •

2112 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2014 at 10:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-02-19 10:06:16 AM  
Burma Shave
 
2014-02-19 10:09:03 AM  
There are no women on the internet.
 
2014-02-19 10:10:28 AM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-02-19 10:11:27 AM  

ChipNASA: There are no women on the internet.


The internet is for porn.

/And Fark.com
 
2014-02-19 10:12:00 AM  
Lots of full figured gals around since oxygen arrived. I guess it's a lot harder to get anaerobic exercise.
 
2014-02-19 10:16:36 AM  

Loucifer: Lots of full figured gals around since oxygen arrived. I guess it's a lot harder to get anaerobic exercise.


I dated an anaerobic girl once.  The phone sex was nice.
 
2014-02-19 10:20:33 AM  

Vodka Zombie: Loucifer: Lots of full figured gals around since oxygen arrived. I guess it's a lot harder to get anaerobic exercise.

I dated an anaerobic girl once.  The phone sex was nice.


"After 780 million years I should think not," -Chorrikst
 
2014-02-19 10:23:58 AM  

Loucifer: Lots of full figured gals around since oxygen arrived. I guess it's a lot harder to get anaerobic exercise.


You mean "athletic", and by "athletic" you mean "Warren Sapp athletic".
 
2014-02-19 10:30:48 AM  

ChipNASA: There are no women on the internet.


Yes, they're are!  They're all talking about ice dancing and what Kim is wearing and who has broken up with who (they only mention first names, so I guess you're expected to know who these people might be), and the 37 foods  you should be eating right now for slimmer thighs (possibly all at once, in a big bowl).

And, of course, the new disease of the day (that only women appear to be plagued by),

Patient: "I've got dry eyes
Doctor: "Well, that's a disease." (???)
Doctor: "Take this drug and you will walk around with a confident and determined look on your face."
Doctor: "But, don't take it if you have tear duct plugs."  (???)
Patient: "Sounds legit."
 
2014-02-19 11:15:06 AM  
You was a worm once.  When the whole world was covered by water, your whole family was nothin' but worms and blobs of jelly.

/sure, I can remember the obnoxious brat's lines but not my own
 
2014-02-19 11:17:59 AM  

You mean politicians and lawyers have been around that long????

 
2014-02-19 11:29:00 AM  
You get too much, you get too high. Not enough and you're gonna die. It gets you high.
 
2014-02-19 11:41:48 AM  
You joke, but i woke up this morning with my gmail full of mails from match.com about someone using my email to make a profile, all the way to having 6 likes or something.
 
2014-02-19 11:52:29 AM  

Smoking GNU: You joke, but i woke up this morning with my gmail full of mails from match.com about someone using my email to make a profile, all the way to having 6 likes or something.


It's said when someone else does a better job of being you than you do.

/I keed
 
2014-02-19 12:57:38 PM  
So what's the Christianmingle version of this?
 
2014-02-19 01:21:34 PM  

Sneakernets: So what's the Christianmingle version of this?


"Now they've been together for over 6000 years."
 
2014-02-19 02:35:22 PM  
Time to go start a new game of "Spore"....
 
2014-02-19 03:59:07 PM  
So, even a big slime ball can find a good match?
 
2014-02-19 04:44:28 PM  
I was the slime a billion years or so
Oozin' along on your livin' room flo'
 
2014-02-19 08:39:17 PM  
This time there would be not witnesses.
This there was just the dead earth, a rumble of thunder, and the onset of that interminable light drizzle from the northeast by which so many of the world's most momentous events seem to be accompanied.
 
2014-02-19 11:59:09 PM  
stromatolites
 
Displayed 21 of 21 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report