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(Washington Post)   Dear Prudie: I'm a live-in nanny who works for this totally annoying couple, so I secretly made them drink toilet water. Now they're both sick. Should I feel bad?   (live.washingtonpost.com) divider line 178
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16601 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2014 at 2:10 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-18 08:09:41 PM  

MycroftHolmes: mantabulous: I posit that if you're a dude that's so self-conscious about bundling up your junk under multiple layers when interacting with kids in your house, then  you'rethe one that's sexualizing the interaction, not the people walking around their own house in boxers. Seriously, I was born in Germany and raised by German parents and whenever I tell my American friends that I've seen both my mom and dad naked countless times, I get surprised responses, as if there's nothing more shocking and unusual than parents and their kids seeing each other naked.

Context matters.  In a culture where that type of exposure is the norm, it is not outside of the norm.  When it isn't the norm, it is abnormal.  I know this comment sounds stupid, but it is because I am having to state the terribly obvious.


No, it pretty much just sounds stupid.

You can define what is normal in your own house, not in mine.
 
2014-02-18 08:14:59 PM  

FormlessOne: Dear Prudie,

I committed a crime, possibly a felony, against my employer, and then I provided enough information in a public forum to identify myself. Should I simply end my life, or await my inevitable arrest?

Signed, an idiot.


Can't convict someone based on hearsay. They would have to prove that the crime actually occurred. Half those Prudie letters are probably made up anyway and countless people confess to crimes they didn't commit.
 
2014-02-18 08:30:33 PM  

MycroftHolmes: omeganuepsilon: Meh. I don't see any difference if it was later in the night. Get up annoyed at the squealing, yell at the kids, go back to bed.

Some people just don't care what other's see them in. Nothing creepy about that. Hell, on the random occasion someone walks in on me when I'm on the john, I laugh at their reactions(and give them hell the rest of the day as if I was offended, because ribbing people is fun!). I get dirty at work, I'm not ashamed to stop by the store and pick up milk or eggs on the way home. I get particularly filthy, and I strip down to boxers when I walk in the door. I don't flaunt my beer gut or anything, but it's just the thing to do because you don't want to get machine oil and grime on stuff because it never comes out of anything. Meh, whatever.

It may appear gross to an onlooker, but it is not innately creepy, it's utilitarian.

3pm though, everyone's gathered around the birthday cake waiting on the special girl to blow out the candles, that's a different story, and very creepy.

Of course, anything can be creepy with the wrong maneurisms or outright leering or something, but that's all also creepy fully clothed.

YOu really do not see the difference in how you approach an late teenage\early twenties male and how you approach a bunch of 8 and 9 year old girls?  You honestly think that going into a room full of 9 year old girls in your underwear is a acceptable.  Grab a robe, grab a blanket, only stick your head in, whatever.


Is it the age or the sex that changes the suitability of it?
Surely you're not sexist, not on my fark, so we'll go with age.

Why is it better for a teen, but bad for a child?

Can't they both see underwear and not care, or giggle, and think "eww gross" and just move on?

And as for your reply to the beach thing.  You shifted as if it's to a random group, not the adults offspring and friends.

So, a dad has a dresscode if taking his children to the beach?  Can wear a speedo in front of strangers and their kids, but not if he takes his kids and their friends to the beach?

He may be an embarassment, sure.  He may be inconsiderate of the kids feelings, but creepy?

/your puritan side is showing
//must cover up flesh from knee to waistline!
///I suppose the girls have to wear burkhas to the beach too?
////snarky slashies are not serious insults, just sayin'

Nothing is inherently creepy about thigh flesh.  Either you're prudish like that, or you are confusing your aversion to "eww gross" with something universal.  Are ugly people allowed to go to the beach at all?  Should they not be forced to display courtesy to others?  Should they just stay indoors?

etc

I don't like seeing ugly people any more than the next guy.  I don't like back boobs on fat chicks in hot weather either. Or plumbers crack on someone bending over.  I'm not going to dare tell anyone what not to wear, or what to cover up, as long as the basic genitals are covered and they style is not attention whorish and/or a distraction.

Why? Because empathy. I know what it's like to be hot, have my ass crack hang out while I'm under the car(or the sink) fixing something, my body being positioned in just such a way that most clothes aren't designed to accommodate(no, I will not wear a jumpsuit/overalls, the only way for them to not restrict movement is to be baggy enough to be a hazard), to be woken up in the middle of the night, utterly hazy and annoyed at the loud noises driving you insane, etc.

Laugh on the inside(cringe on the inside if you must), then move on, go about your day.  Obsessing about it, making personal judgement, is the height of hypocrisy for almost everyone, because everyone has embarrassing moments, or moments where they just don't give a fark.  No matter how you dress, you'll never please everyone, so do what works for you, and let others do so as well.
 
2014-02-18 08:40:31 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: I was a live-in nanny in college. The dad was an insufferable douche who would walk around in only boxers from the time he came home from work till the time he left again in the morning.

I used to want to tell him, there's a reason your children are all huddled at my door waiting for me to wake up and let them in first thing in the morning. You are creepy. Even your offspring sense it.


Hey, don't badmouth the no pants club.  No pants and creepy are two entirely separate issues.
 
2014-02-18 08:50:58 PM  

rynthetyn: Egoy3k: the_vicious_fez: Egoy3k: the_vicious_fez: I was about 7 or 8 years old at a sleepover (all girls) and at some point that night my friend's dad wandered in to ask us to keep it down. He was in a shirt and a pair of obviously well-aged tighty whities. It was horrifying, and creepy as fark

Did he touch you? Did he ask you to touch him? Did he take photos of you? Did he expose himself to you? No?  Then the only person being anything was you being a drama queen.

It was a room full of 8 year old girls, it was late, it was dark, and he just gave off bad vibes constantly. I'm not saying it was flat out wrong, I'm just saying I, as an 8 year old who didn't know this guy well, was weirded out. My parents never walked around in their undies in my house. That's what bathrobes are for.

Before I respond I'd like to say that I was pretty harsh in my post and I regretted it after clicking add comment.

What i mean is that he probably got straight out of bed, threw on the shirt in concession to there being guests and told you to quiet down.  I'm not sure though, maybe he was a complete pedo but it seems to me that most of the creepy vibes people get about dads are because of the constant fear mongering in the media. As an uncle with a young niece I've gotten the looks and the double checks enough that I know exactly what some people think when they see a man and a child together and it disgusts me whenever time with my niece is ruined by idiots.

I was bringing my niece home from soccer practice once and my brother called me and asked me if I would take her for supper because he was late leaving work and wouldn't be home until after supper time.  Being the completely terrible role model that I am I took her to McDonald's.  So we got our meals and drove to a rest stop to eat.  The next thing I know I'm explaining to a police officer who I am and what I am doing with this girl while another officer is terrifying my niece and asking her questions.  Some busybody at the rest ...


Because kids don't know anything. So they pick up on change right away. At the same time, kids don't know anything. What weirds them out could just be brussle sprouts.
 
2014-02-18 08:53:17 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: I was a live-in nanny in college. The dad was an insufferable douche who would walk around in only boxers from the time he came home from work till the time he left again in the morning.

I used to want to tell him, there's a reason your children are all huddled at my door waiting for me to wake up and let them in first thing in the morning. You are creepy. Even your offspring sense it.


We had several au pairs over the course of 6-7 years. Most of them would walk around the house in their underwear on their day off.
 
2014-02-18 08:59:38 PM  
Peki: That last letter got me a little.

I hear that all the time. "There's so much help out there if you just ASK for it!"

No there isn't. And be prepared for everyone to judge you horribly just for asking, and a very long time before you can get anything that even remotely looks like  real help.

But I guess that's an irresponsible thing to say to someone who is considering suicide.


I'm not sure where you are from, but in my little shiathole of a hometown (13, 000) there actually are alot of resources available. Mobile emergency mental health workers available 24-7, long term counseling can be arranged, at no charge to the "client", as it is covered under our provincial medical program. There's even a hospice type house with counselors, where you can stay, until you are feeling balanced (again, no charge). The biggest asset I had was my big brother helping me find the help I needed. I never would have looked for it by myself. I'm pretty positive I'd be dead, if not for the help I received.
 
2014-02-18 09:11:38 PM  

LarryDan43: Bet they let that biatch eat cake too.


urinal cake

...or death
 
2014-02-18 09:19:38 PM  
So many unhappy farkers.

Wish you all find some little bit of happiness somewhere to cheer you up.
 
2014-02-18 09:20:26 PM  
1: boxers are fine to wear around the house. They look like shorts.

2: tighty whities are not ok yo wear around the house. Even though they look like speedos, speedos are not ok.

3: goddamn the last letter is freaking heavy man...
 
2014-02-18 09:31:06 PM  
If your junk can slip out a leg hole or peep out the front peehole thing, maybe you shouldn't wear your boxers or shorts around kids. If the fabric is really thin and people can see if you're cut or not or your pubes are poking through the fabric, ditto.
 
2014-02-18 09:42:17 PM  

blatz514: Wellon Dowd: Bslim: I need to see the nanny before I render judgment.

[newyorknatives.com image 850x637]

Great, now all I hear is that whiny voice.


Yeah..but shes the sexeh.
 
2014-02-18 09:55:42 PM  

groppet: I told my roomate to stop banging dudes in the living room or I would come out of my room naked and ask if I could tag in.


Was your roommate male, female or other? Just curious, you know.

I've had female roommates. The best was the one I got along with great but there was no attraction either way. She banged her boys in her room though.
 
2014-02-18 09:56:51 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Yes, and if they die, you could be on the hook for involuntary manslaughter. Now don't you feel stupid?


From seeing me in my underwear? I'm not THAT ugly.
 
2014-02-18 10:08:13 PM  
 
2014-02-18 10:15:04 PM  
Wilhelm Kube unavailable for comment.
 
2014-02-18 11:17:40 PM  

the_vicious_fez: But boxers seem more presentable somehow. I dunno. I'm weird.


When I was 16 my balls started aching like hell. Especially the left one. So I went to free the clinic and asked if I'd caught some horrible STD. They collected samples for tests of course, but the doc told me he's pretty sure the problem is my varicose veins. Yes indeed, a 16 year old kid with varicose veins in his scrotum. He even showed me how to feel which veins were the problem.

He then said it could be treated by surgery if it got too debilitating, but there was a non-surgical method to avoid that: wear a jock strap when they were aching, and briefs instead of boxers the rest of the time. He explained it, something about blood collecting or something, but being an 8th grade dropout all I got was I needed to support the weight of my huge brass balls.

So I hear your point about briefs but it's not the aesthetics that matter to me. So much that I have too many pairs of dingy gray briefs with holes in the butts.


Seductively,
TheDavidTM
 
2014-02-18 11:27:25 PM  

The One True TheDavid: the_vicious_fez: But boxers seem more presentable somehow. I dunno. I'm weird.

When I was 16 my balls started aching like hell. Especially the left one. So I went to free the clinic and asked if I'd caught some horrible STD. They collected samples for tests of course, but the doc told me he's pretty sure the problem is my varicose veins. Yes indeed, a 16 year old kid with varicose veins in his scrotum. He even showed me how to feel which veins were the problem.

He then said it could be treated by surgery if it got too debilitating, but there was a non-surgical method to avoid that: wear a jock strap when they were aching, and briefs instead of boxers the rest of the time. He explained it, something about blood collecting or something, but being an 8th grade dropout all I got was I needed to support the weight of my huge brass balls.

So I hear your point about briefs but it's not the aesthetics that matter to me. So much that I have too many pairs of dingy gray briefs with holes in the butts.


Seductively,
TheDavidTM


What about boxer briefs? Are those allowed?

And that sucks about your balls. Good bragging rights though.
 
2014-02-18 11:40:49 PM  
the_vicious_fez:

What about boxer briefs? Are those allowed?

They look better but not quite the same level of support.

I look really silly in a jock strap though. Even died purple from washing it with red sheets.


And that sucks about your balls. Good bragging rights though.

And the noise when they clang together.
 
2014-02-18 11:49:57 PM  

Ghengis_Socrates: Resident Muslim: Passive aggressive people like this should be whipped.
I mean honest to goodness cat o'nine tails.

No, that is for consenting adults.  The thing we use to punish criminal acts is called "jail" or "prison" depending on the severity.


Yeah....no.

If you think whipping is fine between consenting adults (to each his own) then in that context it's not really punishment. In the true sense.

Likewise, if jail is not a deterrent, then it isn't real punishment.

If you are posting here, I'm assuming you remember the days when "GO TO YOUR ROOM!!" was a punishment.
That is almost no longer the case.
Grounding a kid that doesn't leave the house and lives virtually anyway is not really punishment.

These days, prison is not a deterrent. Check out repeat offenders percentages. I'm actually willing to bet that actually throwing teen boys into the system will make them real criminals, instead of the petty crimes that landed them there in the first place.

Disclaimer, I'm not for cruel and unusual punishment....ok, I take that back. I'm not for unusual punishment like sheriff joe. But the system is broken once it stops becoming a deterrent and just becomes a holding pen that releases even worse crooks into the system.

We really need to rethink the system.

/we have bars on our windows and the crooks are walking free (c)
 
2014-02-19 01:38:11 AM  

durbnpoisn: Anne.Uumellmahaye: I was a live-in nanny in college. The dad was an insufferable douche who would walk around in only boxers from the time he came home from work till the time he left again in the morning.

I used to want to tell him, there's a reason your children are all huddled at my door waiting for me to wake up and let them in first thing in the morning. You are creepy. Even your offspring sense it.

That reminds me of a story...

We used to all hang out in this one guy's basement.  You know, late night beer parties and such.  More than a few times, I'd go by the kitchen on my way out and find the stepfather standing at the fridge in his underwear.  One time I actually said to him, "dude...  Really?"  His response was, "It's my house. I can do what I want."

Okay, fine.  Be that as it may.  But you should consider having some respect for your guests.


There is a difference between guests and random kids hanging out at your house.
 
2014-02-19 05:39:46 AM  
Years ago I used to do a different line of work which required me to stop at several certain businesses during the day. At one of my stops, I was in the office getting some paperwork and was going to hit their coffee pot for a refill. One of the office girls told me before I got a refill "Don't drink the Coffee". So I skipped it wondering what that was all about but didn't give it much thought. What I saw on another day just cracked me up. Seems that one of the office gals just Hated their boss. I heard him yell out of his office for her to make him another pot of coffee. As I watched she grabbed the pot from the coffee maker and poured out the remains into the sink then refilled the pot by dipping it into the toilet bowl. That was what she poured into the top of the coffee machine. I was really Amused at this and was sure not to refill my cup when stopping there. I wonder now if he ever found out but I doubt it.
 
2014-02-19 06:13:52 AM  

Resident Muslim: Ghengis_Socrates: Resident Muslim: Passive aggressive people like this should be whipped.
I mean honest to goodness cat o'nine tails.

No, that is for consenting adults.  The thing we use to punish criminal acts is called "jail" or "prison" depending on the severity.

Yeah....no.

If you think whipping is fine between consenting adults (to each his own) then in that context it's not really punishment. In the true sense.

Likewise, if jail is not a deterrent, then it isn't real punishment.

If you are posting here, I'm assuming you remember the days when "GO TO YOUR ROOM!!" was a punishment.
That is almost no longer the case.
Grounding a kid that doesn't leave the house and lives virtually anyway is not really punishment.

These days, prison is not a deterrent. Check out repeat offenders percentages. I'm actually willing to bet that actually throwing teen boys into the system will make them real criminals, instead of the petty crimes that landed them there in the first place.

Disclaimer, I'm not for cruel and unusual punishment....ok, I take that back. I'm not for unusual punishment like sheriff joe. But the system is broken once it stops becoming a deterrent and just becomes a holding pen that releases even worse crooks into the system.

We really need to rethink the system.

/we have bars on our windows and the crooks are walking free (c)


You could always try forgiveness and turning the other cheek or is that for losers and delusionists?
 
2014-02-19 06:16:27 AM  
cdn.nextimpulsesports.com
We are your waiters, we serve your food. Do not piss us off.
 
2014-02-19 06:20:18 AM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: I was a live-in nanny in college. The dad was an insufferable douche who would walk around in only boxers from the time he came home from work till the time he left again in the morning.

I used to want to tell him, there's a reason your children are all huddled at my door waiting for me to wake up and let them in first thing in the morning. You are creepy. Even your offspring sense it.


Wearing boxers in your own home is not creepy. If they were briefs that would be creepy.

You sound as insufferable as that nanny.
 
2014-02-19 08:35:42 AM  

sobriquet by any other name: Farce-Side: Peki: That last letter got me a little.

I hear that all the time. "There's so much help out there if you just ASK for it!"

No there isn't. And be prepared for everyone to judge you horribly just for asking, and a very long time before you can get anything that even remotely looks like  real help.

But I guess that's an irresponsible thing to say to someone who is considering suicide.

Kill yourself.

aw, did his mostly true sentiment of the reality of not being wealthy in america cause you to lash out in anger to avoid sympathy... again?


Ha! No, just thought it fit with the whole suicide discussion.  Man some of you people really try to read into these comments way too much.

memedepot.com
 
2014-02-19 09:45:07 AM  

dready zim: Resident Muslim: Ghengis_Socrates: Resident Muslim: Passive aggressive people like this should be whipped.
I mean honest to goodness cat o'nine tails.

No, that is for consenting adults.  The thing we use to punish criminal acts is called "jail" or "prison" depending on the severity.

Yeah....no.

If you think whipping is fine between consenting adults (to each his own) then in that context it's not really punishment. In the true sense.

Likewise, if jail is not a deterrent, then it isn't real punishment.

If you are posting here, I'm assuming you remember the days when "GO TO YOUR ROOM!!" was a punishment.
That is almost no longer the case.
Grounding a kid that doesn't leave the house and lives virtually anyway is not really punishment.

These days, prison is not a deterrent. Check out repeat offenders percentages. I'm actually willing to bet that actually throwing teen boys into the system will make them real criminals, instead of the petty crimes that landed them there in the first place.

Disclaimer, I'm not for cruel and unusual punishment....ok, I take that back. I'm not for unusual punishment like sheriff joe. But the system is broken once it stops becoming a deterrent and just becomes a holding pen that releases even worse crooks into the system.

We really need to rethink the system.

/we have bars on our windows and the crooks are walking free (c)

You could always try forgiveness and turning the other cheek or is that for losers and delusionists?


Seriously, I actually think that that was introduced by the Roman Empire through the Church to placate the Christian.

Judiasm: punishment
Christianity: turn the other cheek
Islam: punishment

Something changed in the middle.

Somebody slapping me in anger and me turning the other cheek might actually make them stop and feel stupid.
Turning the other cheek to someone who did it out of ego and/or tyranny will only get you slapped again for your meekness.

A society of people who turn the other cheek will be overrun.

Ghandi said "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"
And while I really respect the guy, and understand the context in which it was said disagree.
Not taking the eye of someone who takes an eye will make the poor/weak people blind.
I do not condone vigilantism. This should be done by the powers that be.
Otherwise, like I said, we end up with bars on OUR windows and the criminals walk free.

Like I said in another thread, a criminal who gets seen by a witness might actually kill the witness because the fear of retribution is gone. Thats why it's becoming more and more common to hear the phrase "don't leave any witnesses". And, yes, I watch a lot of movies, but there is a reason it caught on.

I've heard the phrase "I'd rather let 100 murderers go than kill one innocent person"
They tend to forget that by releasing 100 murderers you just condemned more than one innocent person.


No. I'm not for taking the risk of killing innocent people.
Yes, I am FOR taking the life of murderers who have been convicted BEYOND A SHADOW OF DOUBT. Not cases where the legal system is obviously broken

///slashies just for the heck of it
 
2014-02-19 12:46:47 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

we've all been there...
 
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