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(Toronto Star)   "Strip away the sequins, wipe off the pancake makeup, delete the frozen-in-place smiles, and what's left is a tawdry whore of a sport where the judges are the johns"   (thestar.com) divider line 155
    More: Unlikely, Scott Moir, Olympic Ice, short programs, Meryl Davis, Tessa Virtue, Lists of Olympic medalists, dancing, l'Equipe  
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3137 clicks; posted to Sports » on 18 Feb 2014 at 2:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



155 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-18 12:34:56 PM  
Sports have referees and umpires.
Beauty contests have judges.
 
2014-02-18 12:43:35 PM  
I decided a long time ago that figure skating and ice dancing are as rigged as boxing matches.
 
2014-02-18 12:44:40 PM  

BunkyBrewman: Sports have referees and umpires.
Beauty contests have judges.


Line judge, field judge, side judge, back judge... Yeah, I guess you're right.  Not a sport.

/Anything with "dancing" in the name isn't a sport.
 
2014-02-18 12:44:41 PM  
Ice dancing = lazy figure skating.
 
2014-02-18 01:19:12 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: BunkyBrewman: Sports have referees and umpires.
Beauty contests have judges.

Line judge, field judge, side judge, back judge... Yeah, I guess you're right.  Not a sport.


Subsets of referees.  Besides, they're not judging the performance on the field and giving marks for the arc of a spiral.
 
2014-02-18 01:32:36 PM  
It took me forever to realize that the American girl looks like Bebe Neuwirth as Lilith Sternin-Crane, but older.
 
2014-02-18 01:55:22 PM  
It's not a sport if someone has to score you because it introduces personal bias.  Yes, ref's and umps have to make decisions but they aren't whimsical, like 'presentation' or anything subjective.

Can you imagine baseball doing this?  "Yes, the outfielder missed the ball, but he didit with grace and beauty so we only award the runner 2 bases instead of a home run."
 
2014-02-18 01:59:17 PM  
Hockey is guys in armor knocking a thing around on the ice following some incomprehensible rules and hitting each other. Ice dancing is pretty (YMMV) girls in skimpy outfits skating around with some guy.

Take either as seriously as you like.
 
2014-02-18 02:07:10 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: It took me forever to realize that the American girl looks like Bebe Neuwirth as Lilith Sternin-Crane, but older.


Yeah, but she needs to tone down the makeup, as it makes her look weird and alien.

(My wife remarked that her costume designer/makeup person must really hate her.)
 
2014-02-18 02:08:02 PM  
Sequins, makeup and fake smiles, I thought it was Ru Paul's Drag Race.
 
2014-02-18 02:14:36 PM  
It is the Winter Olympics version of Dressage.  Sure the horses are two-legged, but they are dancing on ice!
 
2014-02-18 02:24:07 PM  
This is why we need robot umpires in baseball.
 
2014-02-18 02:28:29 PM  
I watched the 30 for 30 short film on Tonya Harding last night, so I'm getting a kick...
 
2014-02-18 02:32:11 PM  
For the life of me I don't understand why ski jump has judges. The guy who jumps farthest without crashing should always win.
 
2014-02-18 02:32:40 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: It took me forever to realize that the American girl looks like Bebe Neuwirth as Lilith Sternin-Crane, but older.



oldroadapples.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-18 02:34:25 PM  

netizencain: It's not a sport if someone has to score you because it introduces personal bias.  Yes, ref's and umps have to make decisions but they aren't whimsical, like 'presentation' or anything subjective.

Can you imagine baseball doing this?  "Yes, the outfielder missed the ball, but he didit with grace and beauty so we only award the runner 2 bases instead of a home run."



No, but you do get obvious balls called as strikes and vice versa with no recourse. So next time you get all pissy about a ref or ump making an obviously bad call (anyone remember the coin flip fiasco in the superbowl?) I want you to remember this thread and say to yourself "this isn't whimsical or subjective".

All refs/umpires/judges are biased and that comes out in either a call or a score. The only non biased sports are timed events, but even then you have issues like equipment differences or PEDs.
 
2014-02-18 02:35:23 PM  
Anything scored subjectively is not a sport, period.
 
2014-02-18 02:35:31 PM  
Not this shiat again...

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-18 02:36:48 PM  
Just you wait. If the Nation's Mothers have anything to say about it even football will be like this in 50 years. "Eli's throw was long enough, but you could see the ball wobble a little as it came out of his hand. It's no wonder the judges only awarded him a 3.6. Justin is really going to need to nail his sack dance if the Giants are going to pull this one out."
 
2014-02-18 02:39:17 PM  
Geesh. Who pissed in his maple syrup?
 
2014-02-18 02:43:36 PM  
Fark it, I don't care.  I enjoy the ice dancing.  Though the French finished 6th in the team event, their couples ice dancing routine looked fun.  And Nathalie Pechalat looked delicious.
 
2014-02-18 02:44:16 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Anything scored subjectively is not a sport, period.


Sure, but it's the Olympic Games, not the Olympic Sports.
 
2014-02-18 02:44:55 PM  
Well that article was just dripping with passive-agressive anti-Americanism and superiority-complex-fueled angst.  You couldn't make it any more Canadian if you soaked it in maple syrup and Alberta tar-oil.

Also, the instant you feel it necessary to assure others, without solicitation, that you do or do not possess a certain personality characteristic - viz. "I am not a homer" - you've already broadcast it to the world that the exact opposite is true.
 
2014-02-18 02:45:43 PM  
Herein lies the reason I hate almost all of the Winter Olympics. There is virtually no head-to-head competition anywhere. It's either "contestant vs. judges" or "contestant vs. clock".

You know what would make downhill skiing better? Have all six skiers race at the same time! Shoot, widen the ice track and have 2 or 3 bobsleds go at the same time!

Everything about these events is unfair. When you race one at a time, you end up with some variations in temperature/wind/other conditions, enough to sway one racer or another crucial hundredths of a second one way or the other.

/tldr the Olympics are bullshiat
 
2014-02-18 02:47:09 PM  
After watching it all week, I don't know how you cannot say that the Americans weren't the best yesterday. If you can't appreciate that athletisism, you are either woefully ignorant or extremely jealous
 
2014-02-18 02:48:00 PM  

blogs.houstonpress.com

WHORE!

img2.timeinc.net

NO WAY!



(Although, she cleans up nice...")

pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-02-18 02:49:55 PM  
Sounds like somebody didn't win.
 
2014-02-18 02:50:03 PM  

thecpt: After watching it all week, I don't know how you cannot say that the Americans weren't the best yesterday. If you can't appreciate that athletisism, you are either woefully ignorant or extremely jealous


Yep. Canadian.

\ Dimanno is consistently awful.
 
2014-02-18 02:50:25 PM  
come for the ice dancing, stay for the butthurt.
 
2014-02-18 02:51:22 PM  

Derwood: Herein lies the reason I hate almost all of the Winter Olympics. There is virtually no head-to-head competition anywhere. It's either "contestant vs. judges" or "contestant vs. clock".

You know what would make downhill skiing better? Have all six skiers race at the same time! Shoot, widen the ice track and have 2 or 3 bobsleds go at the same time!

Everything about these events is unfair. When you race one at a time, you end up with some variations in temperature/wind/other conditions, enough to sway one racer or another crucial hundredths of a second one way or the other.

/tldr the Olympics are bullshiat


How do you feel about sun light and shadows in baseball? Winds in football games? Student sections in college?

Don't go full Canadian and get angry against the clock
 
2014-02-18 02:52:25 PM  

Derwood: Herein lies the reason I hate almost all of the Winter Olympics. There is virtually no head-to-head competition anywhere. It's either "contestant vs. judges" or "contestant vs. clock".



yeah, when i was watching over the weekend, at some point i was ilke, "this is just gravity and physics.  who gets down the mountain quickest (gravity) and physics, meaning, who can design a blade that will run over the ice with minimal resistance...."

curling is awesome. mainly because there are so many MILFs / hot chicks.  like the chick from Canada?  Ubermilf.  very cute face, and some thick canadian thighs.  that girl is thick. One of the US women has a really nice ass.  one of the british girls was really pretty.  not english pretty either.  sweden had some beasts.  or maybe norway.  but yeah, russia had some stone hotties and that Canadian chick, very pretty and short stack had some thick ass thighs.  god i would love to smash it.
 
2014-02-18 02:52:28 PM  

rumpelstiltskin: Just you wait. If the Nation's Mothers have anything to say about it even football will be like this in 50 years. "Eli's throw was long enough, but you could see the ball wobble a little as it came out of his hand. It's no wonder the judges only awarded him a 3.6. Justin is really going to need to nail his sack dance if the Giants are going to pull this one out."


In 50 years football will be the boxing of the 21st century. A sport that was at one time #1, but now moving into faded glory with only hardcore fanatics still sending their kids out to play in non-Academic affiliated leagues.
 
2014-02-18 02:56:42 PM  

thecpt: Derwood: Herein lies the reason I hate almost all of the Winter Olympics. There is virtually no head-to-head competition anywhere. It's either "contestant vs. judges" or "contestant vs. clock".

You know what would make downhill skiing better? Have all six skiers race at the same time! Shoot, widen the ice track and have 2 or 3 bobsleds go at the same time!

Everything about these events is unfair. When you race one at a time, you end up with some variations in temperature/wind/other conditions, enough to sway one racer or another crucial hundredths of a second one way or the other.

/tldr the Olympics are bullshiat

How do you feel about sun light and shadows in baseball? Winds in football games? Student sections in college?


Football and baseball games are long competitions, not all-or-nothing 90 second races. Mitigating factors tend to even out over a longer time period, and things like home field advantage are generally evened out by equally divided home/road schedules (well, not in college, but you get what I'm saying)
 
2014-02-18 02:56:55 PM  
Goddamnit, both of these teams are chicken shiat.
 
2014-02-18 02:57:09 PM  

Derwood: You know what would make downhill skiing better? Have all six skiers race at the same time! Shoot, widen the ice track and have 2 or 3 bobsleds go at the same time!


Aside from the fact that's pretty damn dangerous, these competitions are intended to be "see how well you can do this given these obstacles", not "see how well you jockey for position with five other people". Many of these events are skills competitions, not races, and for certain things the best measure of skill is how quickly you complete a course.
 
2014-02-18 02:57:35 PM  
So, let me get this straight -- there was an international conspiracy in favor of Americans?

Both were amazing, both scored all-time records (temporarily in the Canadian's case), both train at the same rink, both use the same coach.  I'm no expert (although I'm here in Detroit, ice-dancing capital of the World, and I live near both White and Davis), but the Americans looked slightly better.

By the way, the Russian team that finished third also looked amazing... and if the sport is a tawdry whore, did Moir and Virtue ever benefit?  Or is it only a whore when your home team loses?
 
2014-02-18 02:57:37 PM  

Trocadero: Goddamnit, both of these teams are chicken shiat.


Woops, wrong thread
 
2014-02-18 02:59:08 PM  

thecpt: After watching it all week, I don't know how you cannot say that the Americans weren't the best yesterday. If you can't appreciate that athletisism, you are either woefully ignorant or extremely jealous


^This.  It's not a 'conspiracy' when the best skaters win.  They've won EVERY EVENT they've been in over the past two years, including those against the Canadian team.  This wasn't a shocking result in the slightest.  People are latching onto anything at all just to justify their hate of the American team, and it's beyond ridiculous.  And now the Canadian team is whining that they feel that their coach (whom they share with the Americans) was 'favoring' the Americans.  Of course, they didn't have a problem with the coach BEFORE the Olympics.  At least, not enough of a problem to find a new coach.  It's just stupid how out of hand this whole thing has become.
 
2014-02-18 03:04:07 PM  

Derwood: Herein lies the reason I hate almost all of the Winter Olympics. There is virtually no head-to-head competition anywhere. It's either "contestant vs. judges" or "contestant vs. clock".

You know what would make downhill skiing better? Have all six skiers race at the same time! Shoot, widen the ice track and have 2 or 3 bobsleds go at the same time!

Everything about these events is unfair. When you race one at a time, you end up with some variations in temperature/wind/other conditions, enough to sway one racer or another crucial hundredths of a second one way or the other.

/tldr the Olympics are bullshiat


I have two words for you:   Snowboard Cross.

It's great because you have people pushing the limit not against a clock, but against each other at the same time, and they know it.  Makes for an interesting event to watch.

You can have the last 3 boarders qualify because the guy in the lead wiped out and took the two guys  behind him out too.
 
2014-02-18 03:04:46 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: rumpelstiltskin: Just you wait. If the Nation's Mothers have anything to say about it even football will be like this in 50 years. "Eli's throw was long enough, but you could see the ball wobble a little as it came out of his hand. It's no wonder the judges only awarded him a 3.6. Justin is really going to need to nail his sack dance if the Giants are going to pull this one out."

In 50 years football will be the boxing of the 21st century. A sport that was at one time #1, but now moving into faded glory with only hardcore fanatics still sending their kids out to play in non-Academic affiliated leagues.


The snow days last week had me combing through my stack of video games. I re-picked up Fight Night (3), which is a fantastic game. Anyway, going through 5 or 6 fights, it really sunk in how barbaric a sport that is. There's some commentary line that goes "If the fighters could handle it, the public would pay to see them fight every day", which is, I think, what started that.

Yeah, football players couldn't go every day either, but boxing is literally about hurting someone else so much that they either won't or physically can't fight any more. It surprises me that youth (under 18) boxing leagues exist at all anymore.
 
2014-02-18 03:10:40 PM  
Figure skating (all kinds) and gymnastics (especially the women's) at the international levels have political structures that make African elections seem free and honest.

Fark it. If it's not measuring someone going faster, higher, or stronger, it's subject to judge bias, or outright rigging. Which means for the winter games, ignore figure skating, ski jumping, all the freestyle ski/snowboard events (slopestyle, moguls, aerials, and halfpipe). For the summer, ignore all the gymnastics, equestrian events (although who watches that anyhow? I never saw any from London on NBC...), boxing (unless we go back to Greek rules -- a match is won either with a KO or withdrawal), wrestling (ditto), diving, and synchronized swimming. Not that any of those events don't produce tremendous athletes, but their sports are too subject to being rigged.
 
2014-02-18 03:11:15 PM  
"Strip away the sequins, wipe off the pancake makeup, delete the frozen-in-place smiles....


...check their birth certificates, and those that are of age, have them bathed and brought to my room.
 
2014-02-18 03:14:07 PM  

Derwood: thecpt: Derwood: Herein lies the reason I hate almost all of the Winter Olympics. There is virtually no head-to-head competition anywhere. It's either "contestant vs. judges" or "contestant vs. clock".

You know what would make downhill skiing better? Have all six skiers race at the same time! Shoot, widen the ice track and have 2 or 3 bobsleds go at the same time!

Everything about these events is unfair. When you race one at a time, you end up with some variations in temperature/wind/other conditions, enough to sway one racer or another crucial hundredths of a second one way or the other.

/tldr the Olympics are bullshiat

How do you feel about sun light and shadows in baseball? Winds in football games? Student sections in college?

Football and baseball games are long competitions, not all-or-nothing 90 second races. Mitigating factors tend to even out over a longer time period, and things like home field advantage are generally evened out by equally divided home/road schedules (well, not in college, but you get what I'm saying)


Just curious -- do you feel the same way about the events in the summer olympics?
 
2014-02-18 03:15:33 PM  

dittybopper: Derwood: Herein lies the reason I hate almost all of the Winter Olympics. There is virtually no head-to-head competition anywhere. It's either "contestant vs. judges" or "contestant vs. clock".

You know what would make downhill skiing better? Have all six skiers race at the same time! Shoot, widen the ice track and have 2 or 3 bobsleds go at the same time!

Everything about these events is unfair. When you race one at a time, you end up with some variations in temperature/wind/other conditions, enough to sway one racer or another crucial hundredths of a second one way or the other.

/tldr the Olympics are bullshiat

I have two words for you:   Snowboard Cross.

It's great because you have people pushing the limit not against a clock, but against each other at the same time, and they know it.  Makes for an interesting event to watch.

You can have the last 3 boarders qualify because the guy in the lead wiped out and took the two guys  behind him out too.


Sure, but I don't think that's a desirable situation for the fans or the organizers (outside snowboard cross). Guy in front wiped out, and took the next two with him? Great, now the guys who were in second and third place have lost out on their medals because someone else screwed up. It injects a bit of excitement, but almost entirely obviates the skills part of the competition.
 
2014-02-18 03:16:10 PM  

Derwood: thecpt: Derwood: Herein lies the reason I hate almost all of the Winter Olympics. There is virtually no head-to-head competition anywhere. It's either "contestant vs. judges" or "contestant vs. clock".

You know what would make downhill skiing better? Have all six skiers race at the same time! Shoot, widen the ice track and have 2 or 3 bobsleds go at the same time!

Everything about these events is unfair. When you race one at a time, you end up with some variations in temperature/wind/other conditions, enough to sway one racer or another crucial hundredths of a second one way or the other.

/tldr the Olympics are bullshiat

How do you feel about sun light and shadows in baseball? Winds in football games? Student sections in college?

Football and baseball games are long competitions, not all-or-nothing 90 second races. Mitigating factors tend to even out over a longer time period, and things like home field advantage are generally evened out by equally divided home/road schedules (well, not in college, but you get what I'm saying)


Ah, so playoff games?
 
2014-02-18 03:16:24 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: ...check their birth certificates, and those that are of age, have them bathed and brought to my room.


someone was just talking about watching the olympics, like the skating events or perhaps the summer gymnastics, and being like, "gyatdaaaayaamn!  that girl is beautiful!  holy shiat look at those thighs!"  and then the dude's wife is like "hey farkstick, you do know she's 15, right?"
 
2014-02-18 03:19:52 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: It took me forever to realize that the American girl looks like Bebe Neuwirth as Lilith Sternin-Crane, but older.


i thought she was more like the nurse at the beginning of JJ Abram's Star Trek:

i123.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-18 03:24:08 PM  

swankywanky: ecmoRandomNumbers: It took me forever to realize that the American girl looks like Bebe Neuwirth as Lilith Sternin-Crane, but older.

i thought she was more like the nurse at the beginning of JJ Abram's Star Trek:

[i123.photobucket.com image 850x353]


Her eyes are very far apart, it makes her look very weird.
 
2014-02-18 03:24:25 PM  
I can only imagine what this guy has to say if the US beats Canada in hockey...
 
2014-02-18 03:29:13 PM  

netizencain: It's not a sport if someone has to score you because it introduces personal bias.  Yes, ref's and umps have to make decisions but they aren't whimsical, like 'presentation' or anything subjective.

Can you imagine baseball doing this?  "Yes, the outfielder missed the ball, but he didit with grace and beauty so we only award the runner 2 bases instead of a home run."


That would have made the ALCS a bit more interesting last year.
 
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