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(KOMU Columbia)   USDA announces recall of Hot Pockets. Jim Gaffigan inconsolable, unfunny   ( komu.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Hot Pockets  
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6185 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2014 at 12:19 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2014-02-18 12:21:04 PM  
His internal dialogue voice might be the single most annoying thing to be carried by a microphone since Sam Kennison Yells At People For An Hour Or Two.
 
2014-02-18 12:21:47 PM  
Fail troll subby. Jim Gaffigan is hilarious.

I live with my mom
 
2014-02-18 12:22:36 PM  
 the food was produced without required inspections

So it's probably fine, they just didn't buy the proper stamp of approval.
 
2014-02-18 12:22:39 PM  
Wow, now we're all too cool to like Jim Gaffigan?

You guys go over there and be cool. I'll be over here laughing my ass off.
 
2014-02-18 12:23:19 PM  

AntonChigger: Fail troll subby. Jim Gaffigan is hilarious.

I live with my mom


THIS biatchES!!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^

Read "Dad is Fat"

d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net
 
2014-02-18 12:23:27 PM  
This just gives him another 30 minutes of material.

"If your buying hot pockets, are really such a connoisseur that you're making sure the meat has been properly inspected? It's not like they are stuffing those things with kobe beef."

/hooooooooooooooot pocket
 
2014-02-18 12:23:45 PM  
www.digitaltrends.com
 
2014-02-18 12:25:41 PM  
Thought it said, "insufferable." Would have been as appropriate.
 
2014-02-18 12:26:12 PM  

That Guy Jeff: the food was produced without required inspections

So it's probably fine, they just didn't buy the proper stamp of approval.


Free market!
 
2014-02-18 12:26:37 PM  

AntonChigger: Fail troll subby. Jim Gaffigan is hilarious.

I live with my mom


Agreed. Jim is one of the funniest guys on earth...definite fail troll.
 
2014-02-18 12:28:44 PM  

PumpkinCake: AntonChigger: Fail troll subby. Jim Gaffigan is hilarious.

I live with my mom

Agreed. Jim is one of the funniest guys on earth...definite fail troll.


I wouldn't go  that far. He is funny and I like listening to him because I can listen to most of his bits with the kids, and they love him. But as compared to other stand ups he is decent at best.
 
2014-02-18 12:29:39 PM  

ChipNASA: AntonChigger: Fail troll subby. Jim Gaffigan is hilarious.

I live with my mom

THIS biatchES!!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^

Read "Dad is Fat"

[d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net image 314x475]


I saw clips of his 9-year-old daughter interviewing other family members (including an infant) about the book. It was pretty funny.
 
2014-02-18 12:30:24 PM  
...and then they came for my hot pockets, and there was no one left to say anything.
 
2014-02-18 12:33:06 PM  
You can't say Gaffigan is unfunny.  More or less funny than some other performer, perhaps, but not unfunny.

Hot Pockets, OTOH, should be universally despised by everyone.
 
2014-02-18 12:33:45 PM  

marleymaniac: This just gives him another 30 minutes of material.

"If your buying hot pockets, are really such a connoisseur that you're making sure the meat has been properly inspected? It's not like they are stuffing those things with kobe beef."

/hooooooooooooooot pocket



You really should be charging him for this.
 
2014-02-18 12:33:54 PM  
...and not fondly.
 
2014-02-18 12:36:10 PM  
Is this the thread where I go and show how hipster I am by saying I hate Jim Gaffigan? Is this that place?
 
2014-02-18 12:37:49 PM  
YOU LIE subby
 
2014-02-18 12:40:26 PM  
this will end up as a thread where the foodies tell everyone how awful hot pockets are. if I invited a lady friend over for a first date, would I try to impress her with my culinary skills by serving hot pockets? probably not.
however at 2:00 am on a sunday morning, after a fun filled sat. night. i'll eat me some hot pockets. hey, it beats gas station burritos.
 
2014-02-18 12:41:55 PM  
shut_down_everything.jpg
 
2014-02-18 12:45:43 PM  

bigbobowski: this will end up as a thread where the foodies tell everyone how awful hot pockets are. if I invited a lady friend over for a first date, would I try to impress her with my culinary skills by serving hot pockets? probably not.
however at 2:00 am on a sunday morning, after a fun filled sat. night. i'll eat me some hot pockets. hey, it beats gas station burritos.


They ARE horrible and I'm far from a foodie. 2 am on a Sunday morning? I'd prefer a burritos (not of the gas station variety... I'm talking the high-class frozen ones from Kroger)

OTOH, Jim Gaffigan is funny, damnit.
 
2014-02-18 12:45:54 PM  

bigbobowski: ...and then they came for my hot pockets, and there was no one left to say anything.


...Because people who eat Hot Pockets regularly tend to die at the ripe old age of 39
 
2014-02-18 12:47:28 PM  
I got these *Big Pockets* (NOT Hot Pockets brand) by Tortinos, I believe it is. They also make freezer pizzas like Mama Celeste style.

Anyway, they were Sausage Gravy Big Pockets, the crust actually resembled a grain-derived bread-like substance and they're pretty farking awesome.

/I spelled awesome as 'aso'
//I can typing
 
2014-02-18 12:51:15 PM  

AntonChigger: Fail troll subby. Jim Gaffigan is hilarious.

I live with my mom


Well, lots of people are talking about Jim Gaffigan now, so... not a failed troll.

/not subby.
 
2014-02-18 12:51:38 PM  

QueenMamaBee: bigbobowski: this will end up as a thread where the foodies tell everyone how awful hot pockets are. if I invited a lady friend over for a first date, would I try to impress her with my culinary skills by serving hot pockets? probably not.
however at 2:00 am on a sunday morning, after a fun filled sat. night. i'll eat me some hot pockets. hey, it beats gas station burritos.

They ARE horrible and I'm far from a foodie. 2 am on a Sunday morning? I'd prefer a burritos (not of the gas station variety... I'm talking the high-class frozen ones from Kroger)

OTOH, Jim Gaffigan is funny, damnit.

sorry, I didn't realize I was talking to a "fancy man".
and why are they worse then a sh*tty store brand burrito filled with meat/bean paste?

 
2014-02-18 01:04:54 PM  
Why u troll Jim Gaffigan?  Why u no like Jim Gaffigan?

"There's the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't eat meat but still would like diarrhea."
"There's the breakfast Hot Pocket.  Finally.  I can't think of a better way to start the day.  'Good morning!  You're about to call in sick.'"
"Think about it.  You could have a Hot Pocket for breakfast, a Hot Pocket for lunch, and be dead by dinner."

/got to see him live last October
//awesomesauce
 
2014-02-18 01:08:15 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-18 01:09:19 PM  
Gaffigan is awesome!

/but perhaps not to humorless trolls.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-02-18 01:10:16 PM  
i.tbs.comimg.gawkerassets.comblogs.ajc.com


TBS says he's "very funny" and if you can't trust TBS's judgement, who can you trust?
 
2014-02-18 01:11:45 PM  

bigbobowski: QueenMamaBee: bigbobowski: this will end up as a thread where the foodies tell everyone how awful hot pockets are. if I invited a lady friend over for a first date, would I try to impress her with my culinary skills by serving hot pockets? probably not.
however at 2:00 am on a sunday morning, after a fun filled sat. night. i'll eat me some hot pockets. hey, it beats gas station burritos.

They ARE horrible and I'm far from a foodie. 2 am on a Sunday morning? I'd prefer a burritos (not of the gas station variety... I'm talking the high-class frozen ones from Kroger)

OTOH, Jim Gaffigan is funny, damnit.

sorry, I didn't realize I was talking to a "fancy man".
and why are they worse then a sh*tty store brand burrito filled with meat/bean paste?


Does he use Fancy Ketchup?
 
2014-02-18 01:12:49 PM  
Not the greatest comedian of his day but I like him AND his internal monologue.
 
2014-02-18 01:13:48 PM  

Mr.Poops: [img.fark.net image 460x276]


Too soon : (
 
2014-02-18 01:14:08 PM  
Hey, he's not Dane Cook or Kevin Hart, so fark you subby.
 
2014-02-18 01:15:03 PM  

That Guy Jeff: the food was produced without required inspections

So it's probably fine, they just didn't buy the proper stamp of approval.



It probably is fine, but this line says maybe not.

Authorities said the product's manufacturers "processed diseased and unsound animals and carried out these activities without the benefit or full benefit of federal inspection."
 
2014-02-18 01:15:29 PM  
I'm just glad to get confirmation that meat is in them. Cow, Pig, Chicken, Horse......
 
2014-02-18 01:19:00 PM  

jst3p: I wouldn't go that far. He is funny and I like listening to him because I can listen to most of his bits with the kids, and they love him. But as compared to other stand ups he is decent at best.


no, he's pretty fun all times.  The "humor" where you say things which shouldn't be said in polite society is still funny, but it's cheating.  Anyone can get some laughs if they stand up in the middle of a bus and yell "dingleberry poop-face!" and then dance a jig.  It takes someone that is truly funny to make one laugh at real life, using language and methods which are not just kid-safe, but safe for those of us who don't like bathroom humor.
 
2014-02-18 01:21:55 PM  

IamAwake: jst3p: I wouldn't go that far. He is funny and I like listening to him because I can listen to most of his bits with the kids, and they love him. But as compared to other stand ups he is decent at best.

no, he's pretty fun all times.  The "humor" where you say things which shouldn't be said in polite society is still funny, but it's cheating.  Anyone can get some laughs if they stand up in the middle of a bus and yell "dingleberry poop-face!" and then dance a jig.  It takes someone that is truly funny to make one laugh at real life, using language and methods which are not just kid-safe, but safe for those of us who don't like bathroom humor.


And there is where I learn that your opinion is of no use to me.

There is a time and place for all humor, even bathroom humor.
 
2014-02-18 01:23:07 PM  
I can't stand Jim Gaffigan. He goes into those falsetto voices at random times during his act, and it's not funny. He's not funny.
He's. Not. FUNNY.
 
2014-02-18 01:25:14 PM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2014-02-18 01:25:56 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

TOT POCKET!
 
2014-02-18 01:26:37 PM  
i100.photobucket.com

we're farked now
 
2014-02-18 01:31:45 PM  

reillan: Does he use Fancy Ketchup?


Dijon Ketchup


/someone had to finish it.
 
2014-02-18 01:38:11 PM  

bigbobowski: QueenMamaBee: bigbobowski: this will end up as a thread where the foodies tell everyone how awful hot pockets are. if I invited a lady friend over for a first date, would I try to impress her with my culinary skills by serving hot pockets? probably not.
however at 2:00 am on a sunday morning, after a fun filled sat. night. i'll eat me some hot pockets. hey, it beats gas station burritos.

They ARE horrible and I'm far from a foodie. 2 am on a Sunday morning? I'd prefer a burritos (not of the gas station variety... I'm talking the high-class frozen ones from Kroger)

OTOH, Jim Gaffigan is funny, damnit.

sorry, I didn't realize I was talking to a "fancy man".
and why are they worse then a sh*tty store brand burrito filled with meat/bean paste?


What part of my name led you to believe I'm a man?
 
2014-02-18 01:40:00 PM  
Recalled because the meat wasn't stamped with a runny illegible ink stamper.
 
2014-02-18 01:40:16 PM  
Is that fat white man still talking about hotpockets?  I don't even like hotpockets, he must be crazy.
 
2014-02-18 01:41:50 PM  
FTA:  Giant Food Stores and Rancho Feeding Corporation

Do companies TRY to name themselves like fake businesses in anti-propaganda films nowadays?
 
2014-02-18 01:48:47 PM  

hutchkc: That Guy Jeff: the food was produced without required inspections

So it's probably fine, they just didn't buy the proper stamp of approval.

It probably is fine, but this line says maybe not.

Authorities said the product's manufacturers "processed diseased and unsound animals and carried out these activities without the benefit or full benefit of federal inspection."


If they didn't inspect it, how could possibly know it was diseased? I think they just call everything they haven't inspected "diseased and unsound animals" as a blanket term. I betcha no one gets sick from these hot pockets; at least, not any more sick than normal. Highly processed foods are pretty damn safe regardless what went into them in the first place. It's that fresh stuff like raw spinach and cucumbers you have to look out for.
 
2014-02-18 01:50:24 PM  
FTA: "The affected batches were pulled from store shelves."

Really? Are we sure? Then why not report the batch numbers so I can check my frickin' freezer, fools?

/The youngest monster loves Hot Pockets. Not so much Jim Gaffigan, although the oldest monster falls off his chair every time the guy comes on.
 
2014-02-18 01:52:02 PM  

QueenMamaBee: bigbobowski: QueenMamaBee: bigbobowski: this will end up as a thread where the foodies tell everyone how awful hot pockets are. if I invited a lady friend over for a first date, would I try to impress her with my culinary skills by serving hot pockets? probably not.
however at 2:00 am on a sunday morning, after a fun filled sat. night. i'll eat me some hot pockets. hey, it beats gas station burritos.

They ARE horrible and I'm far from a foodie. 2 am on a Sunday morning? I'd prefer a burritos (not of the gas station variety... I'm talking the high-class frozen ones from Kroger)

OTOH, Jim Gaffigan is funny, damnit.

sorry, I didn't realize I was talking to a "fancy man".
and why are they worse then a sh*tty store brand burrito filled with meat/bean paste?

What part of my name led you to believe I'm a man?


Can we call you Queen B?

www.billboard.com
 
2014-02-18 02:04:52 PM  
danicee.com

Not a fan of stand-up comedy, and not a fan of Hot Pockets (or any microwavable burritos/wraps/things) -- every one of those pushes us another step to the right in that chart.
 
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