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(The New York Times)   The hottest jobs in Detroit are $10 per hour blight surveyors, tasked with cataloging the estimated 90,000 structures that are abandoned. "If you know how to work a cellphone, you could do this,"   (nytimes.com) divider line 62
    More: Sad, Detroit, cell phones, Mayor Dave Bing, level of detail, structures  
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4089 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2014 at 1:17 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-18 09:42:47 AM  
hgtv.sndimg.com

Applauds her efforts to save historically significant Detroit, one house at a time.  The city needs 50,000 Nicoles ASAP.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-02-18 10:21:06 AM  
Maybe they can relocate to Mississippi when they are finished there.
 
2014-02-18 12:21:31 PM  
Blight surveyor? I'm going to need hazard pay if there are Trollocs and Myrddraal.
 
2014-02-18 12:25:52 PM  

Sybarite: Blight surveyor? I'm going to need hazard pay if there are Trollocs and Myrddraal.


It's the Worms you have to worry about.
 
2014-02-18 01:21:59 PM  
Well at least it's not Camden.

morallowground.com
 
2014-02-18 01:23:50 PM  
Using the chainsaw is not art, it's a lifestyle.
 
2014-02-18 01:26:05 PM  

markie_farkie: [hgtv.sndimg.com image 616x821]

Applauds her efforts to save historically significant Detroit, one house at a time.  The city needs 50,000 Nicoles ASAP.


I'd buy that for a dollar!
 
2014-02-18 01:26:46 PM  
$10 an hour? That's pretty good.

Imagine how many homes you can buy in Detroit with one hour's worth of work.
 
2014-02-18 01:27:00 PM  
Why aren't they just using google streetview?
 
2014-02-18 01:27:38 PM  

neversubmit: Well at least it's not Camden.


We also would have accepted Stalingrad.
 
2014-02-18 01:28:49 PM  
If they're looking for blight, they should start at the Heidelberg project. Ugliest damn "ar"t installation in the city. Some good hearted soul has been trying to burn it down for months. I applaud their efforts.
 
2014-02-18 01:29:14 PM  
Ownership is tangled? Have these morons not heard of "quiet title"? The city can initiate John Doe suits against each property.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-02-18 01:31:49 PM  
I know how to work a cell phone. I don't know how to keep my cell phone from being stolen by a pack of Detroit residents.
 
2014-02-18 01:34:35 PM  
How can a city of 139 square miles and once built for 1.8 million people comfortably hold its current 700,000 residents, and must it, in essence, shrink to survive?

Well duh. Of course it needs to shrink. Is that even in doubt? The question is how best to do it and how to pay for it.

Maybe they can find some threatened plants/animals hiding out in the city and get this organization and others take the land off their hands:
Michigan Nature Association

Gradually tear down the buildings over the years and map out a 300 year plan to let it return to nature. In the meantime blocks and blocks of abandoned buildings, some partially or entirely torn down, with the land slowly swallowing them up can be opened as a post-apocalyptic style theme park!
 
2014-02-18 01:36:18 PM  

patrick767: How can a city of 139 square miles and once built for 1.8 million people comfortably hold its current 700,000 residents, and must it, in essence, shrink to survive?

Well duh. Of course it needs to shrink. Is that even in doubt? The question is how best to do it and how to pay for it.

Maybe they can find some threatened plants/animals hiding out in the city and get this organization and others take the land off their hands:
Michigan Nature Association

Gradually tear down the buildings over the years and map out a 300 year plan to let it return to nature. In the meantime blocks and blocks of abandoned buildings, some partially or entirely torn down, with the land slowly swallowing them up can be opened as a post-apocalyptic style theme park!


It's a NYT story. The idea that a city may need to shrink makes a New Yorker's head assplode. They can't handle the concept.
 
2014-02-18 01:38:18 PM  

dstanley: neversubmit: Well at least it's not Camden.

We also would have accepted Stalingrad.


Did I mix up urban blight pixs?
 
2014-02-18 01:38:31 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Best to examine from a distance.
 
2014-02-18 01:38:34 PM  

neversubmit: Well at least it's not Camden.

[morallowground.com image 507x333]


That's not Camden.  That's the Bronx in the 1970s.

/aside from city hall, there's very little in Camden that's over three stories tall
//live on the other side of the river.
 
2014-02-18 01:50:21 PM  
Experts on computer mapping, planning and data study the survey results even as they are being "blexted" (getting texts about blight) from the "microhoods" the city has been divided into.

Blexting about microhoods?

I thought I couldn't understand Detroiters due to the thick urban accent, but apparently they're just making words up altogether. Mad max times indeed.
 
2014-02-18 01:53:05 PM  
*Bring your own body armor and firearms.
 
2014-02-18 01:54:16 PM  
In Detroit, $10/hour can get you a 10,000 sq ft house.

I mean, it's Detroit, so you'll be shot and killed within three days, but hey, you'll have a real nice house for three days!


/ This post needs more RoboCop
// the 1st one, not the 2nd
/// I haven't seen the 2nd, but I already know it sucks
 
2014-02-18 01:54:39 PM  
The Blight Surveyors should unionize, then the city could pay them $35/hour will full benefits to analyze the blight caused by previous union contracts.

That would be most amusing.

Also, $10/hour isn't enough in Detroit anymore.  Our fast food workers both want and deserve $15/hour.  How can you justify paying blight surveyors only $10/hour when fast food workers deserve $15?

Plus, Blight Surveying is a government job, so each dollar we pay them magically turns into $1.79, right libs?  In fact, we're stupid not to pay them at least $35 even without the union, it should lift Detroit right out of bankruptcy.  Hire 100,000 blight surveyors, pay them all $35/hour, that's $140million a week, * 1.79 = $250,000,000 a week that gets pumped into the Detroit economy.  The city tax rate of 2.4% will generate over $3 million a week alone for the city.  We can then fully fund all the pensions, get out of bankruptcy, buy back Belle Isle.. MAN this will be great!

Thank god for the Democrats, bureaucracy, and government jobs.
 
2014-02-18 01:58:46 PM  

Phineas: The Blight Surveyors should unionize, then the city could pay them $35/hour will full benefits to analyze the blight caused by previous union contracts.

That would be most amusing.

Also, $10/hour isn't enough in Detroit anymore.  Our fast food workers both want and deserve $15/hour.  How can you justify paying blight surveyors only $10/hour when fast food workers deserve $15?

Plus, Blight Surveying is a government job, so each dollar we pay them magically turns into $1.79, right libs?  In fact, we're stupid not to pay them at least $35 even without the union, it should lift Detroit right out of bankruptcy.  Hire 100,000 blight surveyors, pay them all $35/hour, that's $140million a week, * 1.79 = $250,000,000 a week that gets pumped into the Detroit economy.  The city tax rate of 2.4% will generate over $3 million a week alone for the city.  We can then fully fund all the pensions, get out of bankruptcy, buy back Belle Isle.. MAN this will be great!

Thank god for the Democrats, bureaucracy, and government jobs.


potato/0
 
2014-02-18 01:59:36 PM  
Wanted: somebody to survey the Detroit blight. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after you get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed.
 
2014-02-18 02:05:44 PM  
scrap or die
 
2014-02-18 02:06:31 PM  
Needs more efficient urban demolition:

4.bp.blogspot.com

/continuing the obligatory theme
 
2014-02-18 02:08:09 PM  

Facetious_Speciest: Wanted: somebody to survey the Detroit blight. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after you get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed.


I have only done this once before.
 
2014-02-18 02:08:19 PM  

Sentient: Experts on computer mapping, planning and data study the survey results even as they are being "blexted" (getting texts about blight) from the "microhoods" the city has been divided into.

Blexting about microhoods?

I thought I couldn't understand Detroiters due to the thick urban accent, but apparently they're just making words up altogether. Mad max times indeed.


I thought I couldn't understand Detroiters due to the thick urban accent, but apparently they're just making words up
 
2014-02-18 02:10:47 PM  

Silly_Sot: patrick767: How can a city of 139 square miles and once built for 1.8 million people comfortably hold its current 700,000 residents, and must it, in essence, shrink to survive?

Well duh. Of course it needs to shrink. Is that even in doubt? The question is how best to do it and how to pay for it.

Maybe they can find some threatened plants/animals hiding out in the city and get this organization and others take the land off their hands:
Michigan Nature Association

Gradually tear down the buildings over the years and map out a 300 year plan to let it return to nature. In the meantime blocks and blocks of abandoned buildings, some partially or entirely torn down, with the land slowly swallowing them up can be opened as a post-apocalyptic style theme park!

It's a NYT story. The idea that a city may need to shrink makes a New Yorker's head assplode. They can't handle the concept.


That's because it's a really really stupid idea.

Detroit doesn't need to shrink.  It needs to figure out how to grow.
 
2014-02-18 02:21:12 PM  

neversubmit: Camden


came for Camden, left satis*blam*
 
2014-02-18 02:25:36 PM  
I would love to have a nice warehouse type building to turn into loft type apartments. Might be worth something in 50 years after the recovery kicks in.
 
2014-02-18 02:30:29 PM  

neversubmit: Well at least it's not Camden.

[morallowground.com image 507x333]


I don't think that's Camden.
 
2014-02-18 02:34:45 PM  

DarkVader: Detroit doesn't need to shrink. It needs to figure out how to grow.


Perhaps a better term would be centralize.  Detroit has a huge footprint; Boston, San Francisco, and Manhattan combined don't have an area equal to Detroit's.  Because of Detroit's huge size and population loss there are lots of blocks with only a couple occupied houses, so the city still has to maintain services and utility infrastructure to these now sparsely populated areas.  This means that while Detroit only has a population of 700,000 it's infrastructure costs are much closer to those of a city with twice that population.  The idea behind "shrinking" the city is that If the population was moved into a couple of core areas Detroit would see a dramatic drop in its operating costs.
 
2014-02-18 02:35:47 PM  

Polish Hussar: DarkVader: Detroit doesn't need to shrink. It needs to figure out how to grow.

Perhaps a better term would be centralize.  Detroit has a huge footprint; Boston, San Francisco, and Manhattan combined don't have an area equal to Detroit's.  Because of Detroit's huge size and population loss there are lots of blocks with only a couple occupied houses, so the city still has to maintain services and utility infrastructure to these now sparsely populated areas.  This means that while Detroit only has a population of 700,000 it's infrastructure costs are much closer to those of a city with twice that population.  The idea behind "shrinking" the city is that If the population was moved into a couple of core areas Detroit would see a dramatic drop in its operating costs.


Concentrating the population would also make police and fire protection much easier.
 
2014-02-18 02:36:16 PM  

Carn: potato/0


liberal * jackass = urmom/slut
 
2014-02-18 02:44:35 PM  

DarkVader: Detroit doesn't need to shrink. It needs to figure out how to grow.


That would require the eviction of all current residents and politicians.

/we don't need no water
//let the motherfarker burn
 
2014-02-18 02:59:22 PM  

Phineas: Carn: potato/0

liberal * jackass = urmom/slut


Baked Potato / 0
 
2014-02-18 03:05:11 PM  
Way to go liberals. How them unions now?
 
2014-02-18 03:14:06 PM  
Are they using their free Obamaphones?
 
2014-02-18 03:14:47 PM  

bdub77: Sybarite: Blight surveyor? I'm going to need hazard pay if there are Trollocs and Myrddraal.

It's the Worms you have to worry about.


And that damned whispering wind...
 
2014-02-18 03:17:05 PM  
There are jobs in Detroit? I thought the city's unemployment rate was 100%! (And even then
because it can't go higher!)
 
2014-02-18 03:22:47 PM  
Do I get to keep whatever I find on the bodies?
 
2014-02-18 03:24:48 PM  
"If you know how to work a cellphone, you could do this,"

Sounds like the blight leading the blight.
 
2014-02-18 03:28:52 PM  

Facetious_Speciest: Wanted: somebody to survey the Detroit blight. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after you get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed.


I have only done this once before.
 
2014-02-18 03:29:39 PM  

DarkVader: Silly_Sot: patrick767: How can a city of 139 square miles and once built for 1.8 million people comfortably hold its current 700,000 residents, and must it, in essence, shrink to survive?

Well duh. Of course it needs to shrink. Is that even in doubt? The question is how best to do it and how to pay for it.

Maybe they can find some threatened plants/animals hiding out in the city and get this organization and others take the land off their hands:
Michigan Nature Association

Gradually tear down the buildings over the years and map out a 300 year plan to let it return to nature. In the meantime blocks and blocks of abandoned buildings, some partially or entirely torn down, with the land slowly swallowing them up can be opened as a post-apocalyptic style theme park!

It's a NYT story. The idea that a city may need to shrink makes a New Yorker's head assplode. They can't handle the concept.

That's because it's a really really stupid idea.

Detroit doesn't need to shrink.  It needs to figure out how to grow.


Oh my gosh!  Why didn't they think of that sooner!?  You should tell them, I doubt they've even considered this idea before.
 
2014-02-18 03:29:59 PM  

Nick Nostril: Facetious_Speciest: Wanted: somebody to survey the Detroit blight. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after you get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed.

I have only done this once before.


*shakes tiny fist*
 
2014-02-18 03:31:52 PM  

Li'l Robbie: There are jobs in Detroit? I thought the city's unemployment rate was 100%! (And even then
because it can't go higher!)


Meanwhile, the unemployment rates in Detroit's suburbs are in the low single digits.  But God forbid we help anyone in Detroit get off the plantation move.  Wouldn't want to lose any voters.
 
2014-02-18 03:34:49 PM  
I wouldn't do it for $100 an hour. I used to live in the area, and I'm glad I got out. The place is a dangerous pit of crime and decay. The cops are crooked (and afraid). The gangs are reckless. The city council doesn't give a shiat. The place is utter crap.

Every generation for the past three, a group of hipster young folks say they're going to "transform" Detroit. They open shops or try to make it seem cool to live there. They do community art projects, paint murals, and try to clean up some abandoned parking lots to turn them into skate parks.

And then they meet someone, fall in love, get married, and realize they do not want to raise kids in that hellhole. So they move.

Detroit's great for pale-faced folks if they're young and have that sense of immortality we all have when we're youthful and full of piss & vinegar... But when we get a little older we ALL realize we want to live longer, have safe families, and happy kids. You can't get that in Detroit unless you're black (and even then it's iffy), rich, or poor, stupid white trash who doesn't know any better.

When you consider Detroit's most recent significant cultural contribution to the world has been Juggalos, Kid Rock, and Eminem, you understand why the place deserves to be bulldozed to the ground and sold back to the Native Americans for a handful of beads.
 
2014-02-18 03:41:16 PM  

Pick: I would love to have a nice warehouse type building to turn into loft type apartments. Might be worth something in 50 years after the recovery kicks in.


If recovery kicks in. In that area. While paying for exterior maintenance to make sure it doesn't degrade into shambles in the meantime. That's a hefty risk factor compared to the ease of tearing down the building and hoping that your plot of land is eventually worth something.
 
2014-02-18 03:42:05 PM  
Now, now. We don't know that this is even a true blight. Has anyone spotted the Archdemon?
 
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