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(   Britney Spears' nipples take the night off   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

32918 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2004 at 8:07 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

73 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-01-30 02:21:13 PM  
So does humor, apparently...
2004-01-30 02:28:05 PM  
Gibson: it's good, but change "Tits" to "Generous Scoops of Mouthwatering Flesh."

Roommate: Do you think they'll know that means Tits?

Gibson: Where else are you going to find scoops of flesh?
2004-01-30 02:37:00 PM  
off topic

Who was the serial killer who made a belt out of nipples?
2004-01-30 02:50:51 PM  
Britney's 15 minutes must be nearly up by now?
2004-01-30 02:52:44 PM  
Briney's minutes are over when I hit it.

anytime now.
2004-01-30 03:14:58 PM  
Answering your off topic question. It was Eddie Gein who made the nipple belt. Read about it here... click
2004-01-30 07:00:15 PM  
Spears' right nipple, last seen peeking out of a sleek Sheri Franziolli sleeveless evening gown at the NASCAR Appreciation Society awards ceremony in early 2003, is the more friendly and photogenic of the two and has remained a fan favorite since its first public appearance at the MTV Musician's Choice Awards pre-show in June of 2001.

Spears' left nipple, arguably more relaxed and shy than its twin, has consistently shunned the blazing spotlights, with only a couple of brief outings - one at a late-night hash bar in Stockholm in late 2001 and another during an unplanned nip slip at the 2002 Academy Awards that occurred as a result of poorly applied boob tape and free champagne.

That made it worth reading the article for me.
2004-01-30 08:15:51 PM  
2004-01-30 08:16:21 PM  
its been obvious from past pictures

she has those "african tribe point at my feet" nipples
2004-01-30 08:16:40 PM  
I wonder if we'd like them any less if they didn't have nipples at all? Hmmm... nope, probably not.

/imagining a world without nipples
2004-01-30 08:17:06 PM  
no nip
as seen through your slip
for this
I must admit
so quick
your sheer lack of wit
through hip
on stage strips
and most say they'd hit it

ooooooh Britney
I pine
for your affection
ooooooh Britney
so fine
even through your nipples' defection.
2004-01-30 08:17:06 PM  
Are those real?

2004-01-30 08:19:23 PM  
They're fake.

2004-01-30 08:20:48 PM  
Dude, you have no faith in humaity

2004-01-30 08:21:57 PM  
Why are her nips catywampus? Fake ones are supposed to point up.

2004-01-30 08:22:30 PM  
Correct, sir!
2004-01-30 08:22:34 PM  

2004-01-30 08:22:43 PM  

Must be the flesh-colored kind.
2004-01-30 08:27:17 PM  
Her nips were last seen partying with Jaco's nose.
2004-01-30 08:28:33 PM  
Actually, Artmerlyn, nutilato is my insane older brother. He used to go out with Rufie52 and she had him put away. i think he'll be back one day, myself.
2004-01-30 08:34:01 PM  
she dosnt have nipples because I actually bought them on ebay.
2004-01-30 08:34:59 PM  
I'd like to feel them. Fake ones feel fake. That'll never happen though, and I'm probably just lucky to have this National Geographic and bottle of hand lotion.
2004-01-30 08:40:04 PM  
This comment was amusing:

"Why can't you people just leave my nipples to their own lives and focus on me? The real me. The artist me," Spears pleaded in front of a row of reporters who forgot to write down what she was saying.
2004-01-30 08:40:32 PM  
Breasts without nipples is like sex without orgasms.
And nipple-belts? I'd buy THAT for a dollar!
2004-01-30 08:41:48 PM  
i'd hit it. with a belt made of nipples.
2004-01-30 08:41:56 PM  
2004-01-30 02:37:00 PM rrtt22

off topic

Who was the serial killer who made a belt out of nipples?

Ed Gein? I believe he also had a human skin lampshade and a teacup of noses among other things.
2004-01-30 08:42:47 PM  
Isn't that just a picture of a photoshop blank?
Photoshop Britney some new nipples!

2004-01-30 08:43:23 PM  

...and a decapitated grocery clerk hanging in his kitchen.
2004-01-30 08:43:38 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-01-30 08:45:44 PM  
and I'm probably just lucky to have this National Geographic and bottle of hand lotion.

In some countries, they don't even have hand lotion. It's true.
2004-01-30 08:46:44 PM  
I live about 15 miles from good ol' Gein's farm. Whenever I passing through Plainfield and get a call I tell them that I'm giving Ed a visit.

*Plainfield = 2 gas stations and a porn shop. I'd be so bored living there that I'd probably take up the hobby of making nipple belts myself.
2004-01-30 08:47:25 PM  
Don't you people get it? The nipples were visible in the original picture. It was taken in Europe, everybody dresses like that there. But the PNAC neocons that control the corporate media don't want Americans to see that, so they censored the photo before allowing it to be published.

(haven't seen Emperor-Jay around much lately, figured somebody needed to pick up the conspiracy slack)
2004-01-30 08:52:19 PM  
wtf is up with the picture in the article? where are her nipples supposed to be, on her shoulders?
2004-01-30 08:55:18 PM  
Her nipples were not with her that night because (like Paris Hilton's nether lips, briefly mentioned at the bottom of the article) they were dancing on my tongue.

True story.
2004-01-30 09:00:26 PM  
.... perhaps she confused them with her contacts, you know, got the little containers mixed up..... check out her eyes!!
2004-01-30 09:02:03 PM  
Look at her teeth. She looks like a toothpaste commercial.
2004-01-30 09:04:13 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Farkers, meet 20 year old Holly Valance. An incredible Spears like singer popular throughout Asia and Australia. She sings better, looks better and quite frankly elicits a reaction from me that miss Spears never could. Sigh.

Link to a video which is quite good eye candy:​nce_naug htygirl_war_w_hi.asx

Sorry, couldn't figure out how to make it a link.
2004-01-30 09:04:41 PM  
2004-01-30 03:14:58 PM TheRealist

Answering your off topic question. It was Eddie Gein who made the nipple belt. Read about it here... click

GREAT link. Thanks. I'm reading it now.
2004-01-30 09:04:53 PM  
"I only watch those shiatty awards shows for a chance to see the bare titties of all my favorite celebrities," whined NJHottieConstructionMan37, a 37-year-old construction worker from New Jersey.

I'm sorry, but that is funny.
2004-01-30 09:07:12 PM  
That's what it looks like when you use "inserts." Guys know nothing.
2004-01-30 09:10:01 PM  
2004-01-30 09:10:44 PM  

You're the man. Sorry about that space and I still haven't figured out the darn linking thing.
2004-01-30 09:12:10 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-01-30 09:19:13 PM  
Umm, err..... what?
2004-01-30 09:27:42 PM  
I will raise my hand and fully agree with Holly there. To add further suggestions as to alternatives to Miss Spears. Give a try to Fiona Apple, Dot Allison, PJ Harvey, Esthero, Bjork, Morcheeba, Lamb, Portishead, Res, Dido, Aurora UK, Marlee Macleod, Poe, Nina Gordon, and Sarah Cracknell. I also have Vitamin C and Stacie Orrico as my current guilty pleasures, but you don't have to count those.

Sorry, I really like female vocals.
2004-01-30 09:30:43 PM  
Bjork and Vitamin C? That's a joke, obviously. You are funny.
2004-01-30 09:32:51 PM  
vaeric, you forgot about Jeanette Biedermann from Germany. I've always lusted after her, but unfortunately nothing happened on my trip over there a few years ago. *sigh*
2004-01-30 09:34:52 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-01-30 09:36:56 PM  
Soooo.... who wants to win a prize and be the first person to link her nipple slips. i have seen the first one way back when, but i havent heard about the nascar one, if that was true anyways
//hopes to god it was
2004-01-30 09:40:41 PM  
Do you think anyone would buy her CDs if she really got her nubbies removed? Scary thought...
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