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(Philly.com)   One free pizza and a two-liter of soda for every fracking well that explodes. This is a limited time offer   (philly.com) divider line 50
    More: Followup, Chevron, pizzas, Edmonton Oilers, guarantees  
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6568 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2014 at 2:20 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-18 12:06:39 AM
I don't need the soda as the pizza will pair nicely with a glass of flaming tap water.
 
2014-02-18 01:16:16 AM
Oil Well Combo Mambo!

/for LUNCH!
 
2014-02-18 02:26:54 AM

fusillade762: I don't need the soda as the pizza will pair nicely with a glass of flaming tap water.


Guess we're done here. Kudos.


But for serious, this happens a lot more than even makes the news. It's disturbing.
 
2014-02-18 02:32:15 AM
I wonder if accepting the pizza resolves the company of any future litigation a local might bring against it....
 
2014-02-18 02:37:59 AM
My mother say I'm going to Harvard Business School and get my MBA when I grown up. She play non-stop audio feed from CNBC and Bloomberg entire 9 months time, I am in her womb.  (That's 3 full fiscal quarters for you babies born in Alabama).

I don't care about any dumb old explosion. I'm buying more CVX. It closed Friday at $113.48 per share and that's up nearly a full percentage point for Valentine's day alone. No matter what you lazy hippies believe, that's STILL not a bad buy! Hang on a sec, I got my broker on the line...

i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-18 02:38:01 AM
Dear locals a human being lost his life, if you don't eat the grilled dough with tomato sauce and cheese byproducts you are pissing on his grave.

Thank you

Chevron
 
2014-02-18 02:38:45 AM

Langdon_777: I wonder if accepting the pizza resolves the company of any future litigation a local might bring against it....


Now, now.  You aren't suggesting that Chevron would engage in such shady tactics as to make use of the gift certificate contingent on waiving any liability to claims.
 
2014-02-18 02:39:57 AM
Did the dead guy's family at least get bread sticks?
 
2014-02-18 02:43:12 AM
FTA: "The fire -- who posed enormous risks to rescue workers and to the surrounding community -- burned intensely for five days before it was finally extinguished."

Fires are now people?
 
2014-02-18 02:45:09 AM
One pizza and two liters? I would ask for at least a pizza and a TF subscription.
 
2014-02-18 02:46:01 AM

Fart_Machine: Did the dead guy's family at least get bread sticks?


Better than that...
nrn.com

Hershey's Chocolate Dunkers!
 
2014-02-18 02:46:11 AM
No wings? Can't have pizza without wings.
 
2014-02-18 02:48:14 AM

DrPainMD: FTA: "The fire -- who posed enormous risks to rescue workers and to the surrounding community -- burned intensely for five days before it was finally extinguished."

Fires are now people?


Define person. Usually, fire fits all the important bullet points.


And remember we can't count intelligence or self awareness as traits because of the Tea Party.
 
2014-02-18 02:49:58 AM

Dahnkster: Fart_Machine: Did the dead guy's family at least get bread sticks?

Better than that...


Hershey's Chocolate Dunkers!


So that's what happened to Dunkaroos.
 
2014-02-18 02:54:19 AM
Signed by Tyler Durden's alt?
 
2014-02-18 02:58:08 AM

DrPainMD: FTA: "The fire -- who posed enormous risks to rescue workers and to the surrounding community -- burned intensely for five days before it was finally extinguished."

Fires are now people?


It's a corporate fire.
 
2014-02-18 03:04:53 AM
It would actually have been better PR to offer nothing at all.
 
2014-02-18 03:16:05 AM
i123.photobucket.com
Pizza and a coke? My, that might be cheaper than offering these idiots a free Penn State hat as PR compensation!
 
2014-02-18 04:38:41 AM
i1.ytimg.com

i1.ytimg.com

 I dunno. I got nothing.
 
2014-02-18 05:23:07 AM
There is collateral damage in every thing we do these days. Get used to it, people!
 
2014-02-18 05:53:07 AM
Would you all rather they got no pizza?
 
2014-02-18 05:59:25 AM
If they don't want their pizza they can send it to me.

This was a quick reaction by Chevron to acknowledge a problem and let residents know they aren't forgotten.  It is not meant to be compensation for any damages they may suffer due to the incident.
 
2014-02-18 06:16:37 AM

Pick: There is collateral damage in every thing we do these days. Get used to it, people!


There has ALWAYS been collateral damage to everything we do, not just today.  The scope is actually less today.

I'd rather get a cash payment though - I don't necessarily want the pizza/soda.
 
2014-02-18 06:39:06 AM
Was it Little Caesar's? That usually explodes after it hits my stomach.
 
2014-02-18 07:08:14 AM
Hey, would you rather have dead relatives or dead relatives and a free frogurt?

Farking ingrates.
 
2014-02-18 07:19:50 AM

doglover: DrPainMD: FTA: "The fire -- who posed enormous risks to rescue workers and to the surrounding community -- burned intensely for five days before it was finally extinguished."

Fires are now people?

Define person. Usually, fire fits all the important bullet points.


Doctor Beverly Crusher: The broadest scientific definition might be that life is what enables plants and animals to consume food, derive energy from it, grow, adapt themselves to their surroundings, and reproduce.

Lt. Commander Data: Hm... And you suggest that anything that exhibits these characteristics is considered alive?

Doctor Beverly Crusher: In general, yes.

Lt. Commander Data: What about fire?

Doctor Beverly Crusher: Fire?

Lt. Commander Data: Yes. It consumes fuel to produce energy, it grows, it creates offspring. By your definition, is it alive?
 
2014-02-18 07:24:11 AM

DrPainMD: FTA: "The fire -- who posed enormous risks to rescue workers and to the surrounding community -- burned intensely for five days before it was finally extinguished."

Fires are now people?


Maybe they incorporated it :)
 
2014-02-18 07:26:15 AM
One dead?

Soooooo.....fracking ISN'T completely safe, unlike every other industrial process on the planet?

You mean the shills here LIED to me?

I'm shocked.

I'm still investing in extraction industries, but my faith in humanity is deeply shaken.

DEEPLY shaken.
 
2014-02-18 07:46:37 AM
Big Deal. If the Insurance Doctor can't save me money on my car insurance, I get a free pizza. And that's just for not getting cheaper car insurance. Much better than getting free pizza because your town was turned into a toxic wasteland.
 
2014-02-18 07:49:29 AM
residents not satisfied will be relocated at their own expense to Centralia.
 
2014-02-18 07:59:43 AM
doglover

And remember we can't count intelligence or self awareness as traits because of the Tea Party.
derp derp derp derp derp


// Notes the lib-tards (aka hypocrites) aren't whining about politics outside of politics tab as long as the comments attack anything right of center.
 
2014-02-18 08:09:12 AM

HindiDiscoMonster: Anybody who supports fracking should have to drink (by law) the "safe" water.
I wonder how long it would take for things to change then...


Well, we're going to have fracking, that's a given.

I'd suggest something like a 1% tax/fee per frack hole, use it to build up a trust fund for the communities that will inevitably get screwed out of their water supply.

Problem with THAT, of course, is that politicians won't be able to keep their paws off the money.
 
2014-02-18 08:17:20 AM
The problem with making offers like this is that you'll eventually get some nut that decides to try to blow up the wells, just so he/she can get free pizza.

/especially now that even thinking in terms of risk/reward ratios is almost considered a war crime
 
2014-02-18 08:50:15 AM

PunGent: HindiDiscoMonster: Anybody who supports fracking should have to drink (by law) the "safe" water.
I wonder how long it would take for things to change then...

Well, we're going to have fracking, that's a given.

I'd suggest something like a 1% tax/fee per frack hole, use it to build up a trust fund for the communities that will inevitably get screwed out of their water supply.

Problem with THAT, of course, is that politicians won't be able to keep their paws off the money.


Frack Hole.

Frackholefrackholefrackhole...

frackhole
 
2014-02-18 08:50:54 AM

PunGent: HindiDiscoMonster: Anybody who supports fracking should have to drink (by law) the "safe" water.
I wonder how long it would take for things to change then...

Well, we're going to have fracking, that's a given.

I'd suggest something like a 1% tax/fee per frack hole, use it to build up a trust fund for the communities that will inevitably get screwed out of their water supply.

Problem with THAT, of course, is that politicians won't be able to keep their paws off the money.


And, of course, the fact that water is a finite resource that is already in short supply in some places. But let's go ahead and frack, I guess we can all drink 2 liter sodas when the water is gone.
 
2014-02-18 09:02:08 AM
At least it wasn't Papa Johns.  That would be adding insult to injury.
 
2014-02-18 10:01:25 AM
Don't you get two for Tuesday?
 
2014-02-18 10:14:15 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-18 10:16:52 AM

fusillade762: I don't need the soda as the pizza will pair nicely with a glass of flaming tap water.


The water will stop flaming when they finish pumping it all out of the ground.
Really.
You're probably thinking of film showing water from natural leaks, not man-made leaks into water.
 
2014-02-18 10:23:49 AM

NateAsbestos: But for serious, this happens a lot more than even makes the news. It's disturbing.


img.fark.net
About 20 times a day.
 
2014-02-18 10:38:29 AM

Ty Webb: PunGent: HindiDiscoMonster: Anybody who supports fracking should have to drink (by law) the "safe" water.
I wonder how long it would take for things to change then...

Well, we're going to have fracking, that's a given.

I'd suggest something like a 1% tax/fee per frack hole, use it to build up a trust fund for the communities that will inevitably get screwed out of their water supply.

Problem with THAT, of course, is that politicians won't be able to keep their paws off the money.

And, of course, the fact that water is a finite resource that is already in short supply in some places. But let's go ahead and frack, I guess we can all drink 2 liter sodas when the water is gone.



Except what do you think makes up the majority of that 2 liter soda?

I wonder what the survivors in that Canadian town that was incinerated by those exploding oil tanker cars received if one exploding fracking weil equals a free pizza and soda. Maybe a free trip to a Golden Corral buffet bar for the family (or at least the surviving ones)?

/smh while facepalming
 
2014-02-18 11:27:11 AM

moefuggenbrew: NateAsbestos: But for serious, this happens a lot more than even makes the news. It's disturbing.

[img.fark.net image 315x279]
About 20 times a day.


OMG! OEEE NOES!  Ohh wait it's not quantifying what counts as a spill.  Some lab assistant drops a bottle of acid, in the lab?  That's reported as a chemical spill.
 
2014-02-18 11:32:09 AM

Ty Webb: And, of course, the fact that water is a finite resource that is already in short supply in some places.


I bet you tell that to all the farmers.
 
2014-02-18 11:58:11 AM
If The Weather Channel can give names to winter storms, I guess wannabe journalists can use pronouns when referring to fires, floods, earthquakes, tornados, etc. After all, they all come from Gaia, don't they?
 
2014-02-18 01:51:42 PM

RobSeace: doglover: DrPainMD: FTA: "The fire -- who posed enormous risks to rescue workers and to the surrounding community -- burned intensely for five days before it was finally extinguished."

Fires are now people?

Define person. Usually, fire fits all the important bullet points.

Doctor Beverly Crusher: The broadest scientific definition might be that life is what enables plants and animals to consume food, derive energy from it, grow, adapt themselves to their surroundings, and reproduce.

Lt. Commander Data: Hm... And you suggest that anything that exhibits these characteristics is considered alive?

Doctor Beverly Crusher: In general, yes.

Lt. Commander Data: What about fire?

Doctor Beverly Crusher: Fire?

Lt. Commander Data: Yes. It consumes fuel to produce energy, it grows, it creates offspring. By your definition, is it alive?


theinfosphere.org

/Agrees
 
2014-02-18 04:10:47 PM

ongbok: No wings? Can't have pizza without wings.


When I clicked, the Weeners under the story was "How do they qualify for the wings?"
 
2014-02-18 08:19:40 PM

fusillade762: DrPainMD: FTA: "The fire -- who posed enormous risks to rescue workers and to the surrounding community -- burned intensely for five days before it was finally extinguished."

Fires are now people?

It's a corporate fire.


Nice.
 
2014-02-18 08:25:25 PM

Vaneshi: moefuggenbrew: NateAsbestos: But for serious, this happens a lot more than even makes the news. It's disturbing.

[img.fark.net image 315x279]
About 20 times a day.

OMG! OEEE NOES!  Ohh wait it's not quantifying what counts as a spill.  Some lab assistant drops a bottle of acid, in the lab?  That's reported as a chemical spill.


Yes, I am sure that the 194 MILLION POUNDS are just from lab assistants dropping 5ml bottles.
 
2014-02-18 11:57:54 PM

PunGent: I'd suggest something like a 1% tax/fee per frack hole, use it to build up a trust fund for the communities that will inevitably get screwed out of their water supply.


You'd have to be careful how you phrase it, otherwise that 1% fee would indemify them when they fark up the water supply, thus they'd more than happily pay it as it'd save them buckets of money.
 
2014-02-19 09:38:22 AM

Firethorn: PunGent: I'd suggest something like a 1% tax/fee per frack hole, use it to build up a trust fund for the communities that will inevitably get screwed out of their water supply.

You'd have to be careful how you phrase it, otherwise that 1% fee would indemify them when they fark up the water supply, thus they'd more than happily pay it as it'd save them buckets of money.


They're ALREADY 'indemnified' when they fark up the water supply; they're immune to the provisions of the Clean Water Act.
 
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