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(Daily Mail)   Depressed man jumps into tiger enclosure, but is rescued before sustaining serious injury. Doctors say that all things considered, he's doing gr-r-reat   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 37
    More: Sad, Chinese  
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2813 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Feb 2014 at 4:31 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-17 03:18:27 PM
That wasn't a suicide attempt, that was a cry for help. You can't stop someone who really wants to die.
 
2014-02-17 03:57:31 PM
The tiger chased him around a tree until it turned into a pool of melted butter.
 
2014-02-17 04:34:58 PM
It's the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rivals.
 
2014-02-17 04:35:10 PM
I don't get the people that commit suicide in such public and painful ways. I have a helium tank, a bag, and some plastic tubes and I'm ready to roll.
 
2014-02-17 04:36:04 PM
Total attention whore.

He probably bought all the odd numbered seats at the theatre, too.
 
2014-02-17 04:38:16 PM
Thurl Ravenscroft approves of this headline.

And for the record, that is one of the most awesome names ever!
 
2014-02-17 04:39:44 PM
That damn idiot could have gotten one of the tigers hurt, or killed.
 
2014-02-17 04:45:39 PM
Having been within 3 feet of a caged Bengal tiger, the tiger was playing with him.  If the tiger wanted to kill him, it would take one swipe of a paw and you would be pining for the fjords.  They are farking big!
 
2014-02-17 04:46:50 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: That damn idiot could have gotten one of the tigers hurt, or killed.


Yeah, depressed humans aren't an endangered species, you ass.
 
2014-02-17 04:47:06 PM
Horrified witnesses watch a man being dragged around by a Bengal tiger at Chengdu Zoo in China

Daily Mail has really gone overboard with dramatizing things lately.
 
2014-02-17 04:48:56 PM

zimbomba63: Having been within 3 feet of a caged Bengal tiger, the tiger was playing with him.  If the tiger wanted to kill him, it would take one swipe of a paw and you would be pining for the fjords.  They are farking big!


Big you say? I had no idea. You sound like an expert.
 
2014-02-17 04:51:07 PM

BWeed6: zimbomba63: Having been within 3 feet of a caged Bengal tiger, the tiger was playing with him.  If the tiger wanted to kill him, it would take one swipe of a paw and you would be pining for the fjords.  They are farking big!

Big you say? I had no idea. You sound like an expert.


Yeah, I once touched a computer, and now I'm a computer programmer.
 
2014-02-17 04:51:13 PM

zimbomba63: Having been within 3 feet of a caged Bengal tiger, the tiger was playing with him.  If the tiger wanted to kill him, it would take one swipe of a paw and you would be pining for the fjords.  They are farking big!


Zoo animals don't usually attack in earnest. They're captive born, not very hungry, and bored. So they usually don't go all out violent when something interesting happens, but rather just investigate. But when instead of opposable thumbs and a geiger counter you have meat rending claws and three inch fangs to investigate your world with.... things get dangerous.
 
2014-02-17 04:53:14 PM
This is what happens when you put nets under all the windows at the foxcon factory.
 
2014-02-17 04:54:29 PM
Kind of a dick move... he'd have gotten the Tiger killed too.
 
2014-02-17 04:58:29 PM

BWeed6: zimbomba63: Having been within 3 feet of a caged Bengal tiger, the tiger was playing with him.  If the tiger wanted to kill him, it would take one swipe of a paw and you would be pining for the fjords.  They are farking big!

Big you say? I had no idea. You sound like an expert.


Yes I am, so bring me your tiger questions.  I'll bring you my douchebag questions, because you appear to be living with one.
 
2014-02-17 05:01:00 PM

hitlersbrain: Kind of a dick move... he'd have gotten the Tiger killed too.


HA HA HA HA, no.

They're not going to put down a tiger just because someone antagonized it.
 
2014-02-17 05:03:45 PM
ROR!
 
2014-02-17 05:04:46 PM

ikanreed: BWeed6: zimbomba63: Having been within 3 feet of a caged Bengal tiger, the tiger was playing with him.  If the tiger wanted to kill him, it would take one swipe of a paw and you would be pining for the fjords.  They are farking big!

Big you say? I had no idea. You sound like an expert.

Yeah, I once touched a computer, and now I'm a computer programmer.


If you think I'm interested in your perverted fondling of some piece of hardware, you're dead wrong buddy.  And how old was it, creep.  Your type makes me sick!
 
2014-02-17 05:27:20 PM
So this is a very large pussy eating a man and not the other way around ?
 
2014-02-17 05:31:31 PM
The tigers were probably sick of Chinese food.
 
WGJ
2014-02-17 05:50:53 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

Ha Ha, shiat your pants.
 
2014-02-17 06:01:36 PM
It wasn't a tiger pit, so the man did not fall into a depression.
 
2014-02-17 06:13:16 PM
Sheesh. Unless you're trying to repent for something, why on earth would you choose "mauled by tiger"?
 
2014-02-17 06:21:38 PM

Somaticasual: Sheesh. Unless you're trying to repent for something, why on earth would you choose "mauled by tiger"?


Ask Elin?
 
2014-02-17 06:37:00 PM
I had the opportunity to hold a two month old tiger cub back in October.  He was the cutest little thing I've ever seen and holding and feeding him was a magical experience I shall never forget.  However, if I were to be given the opportunity to wander around the tiger enclosure to bond with the adult tigers, I'd have to take a pass.  By the way, a few months before we came across this small wild cat rescue zoo south of Oklahoma City, one of the keepers who worked at the zoo got careless for a few seconds and had her hand clawed and mangled to the point where she had to have the hand amputated.
 
2014-02-17 06:41:10 PM
If only there were some way to re-create that experience with minimal danger, I don't know, some kind of "domesticated" felines, perhaps of smaller size.
 
2014-02-17 06:41:52 PM
Maybe he just wanted to grab a tiger by the tail.
 
2014-02-17 06:55:33 PM
static.giantbomb.com

Unavailable for comment.
 
2014-02-17 07:38:51 PM
That tiger would have just been hungry again an hour later.
 
2014-02-17 07:39:18 PM

WGJ: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x340]

Ha Ha, shiat your pants.



My shiat is brown.  I suggest you visit your doc.
 
2014-02-17 07:41:23 PM
Maybe its just the asshole in me, but part of me would liked to have just looked at him in there and said "Well, who am I to stand in the way of your goal......that looks like it sucks.  But good luck in the afterlife, hope it was worth it!"
 
2014-02-17 09:17:56 PM

WGJ: Ha Ha, shiat your pants.


Yeah if you are going to get mauled by a tiger you may want to wear your brown pants that day.
 
2014-02-17 10:20:58 PM
Thanks subby, I wasn't expecting a Chinese man, I was expecting a frosted flake.
 
2014-02-17 11:56:01 PM
Sounds like the Tiger thought he had gotten a new toy!
 
2014-02-18 01:21:38 AM
"the Czech is in the male"

/dad joke
 
2014-02-18 01:38:40 AM
Stupid zookeepers.

Somaticasual: Sheesh. Unless you're trying to repent for something, why on earth would you choose "mauled by tiger"?


Because he's an attention whore.
 
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