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(Cracked)   In case you needed another reason to not try heroin, here are five more   (cracked.com) divider line 123
    More: Scary, Requiem for a Dream, Chantix, orange juice, Jared Leto  
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10291 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 Feb 2014 at 2:22 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



123 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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ecl
2014-02-17 05:30:54 PM  
Cracked > Slate.
 
2014-02-17 05:34:01 PM  

ecl: Cracked > Slate.


I'm a rather moderate guy who leans to the right on a lot of issues.  I generally really enjoyed Slate for the longest time.  Two things happened recently that I dislike: 1) The new site redesign is absolutely terrible. 2) Someone noticed how much traffic Amanda Marcotte drives so they've encouraged some of their other writers to take on her professional trolling style.

Still a better site than most of the political commentary out there, though.
 
2014-02-17 05:35:46 PM  

Dr Dreidel: Meanwhile, in Maine, the governor has refused to pay for EMTs to stock a life-saving OD medication, because addicts aren't worth saving, and it might "encourage" people to do heroin if they know their friendly neighborhood EMTs will save them.


Somebody should have told him he could use Naloxone to precipitate withdrawal symptoms, ergo he could use it to torture  junkies.

He'd have liked that.
 
2014-02-17 05:38:30 PM  

Reverend J: I'm surprised they left out the constipation part that opiates cause and the "fun" that occurs with your bowels when you go through withdrawal.

However, even without that there is a whole lot of NOPE associated with heroin.


both times I had surgery I was given Morphine during recovery.   No relief from the pain and constipation.
 
2014-02-17 05:38:50 PM  

meanmutton: Still a better site than most of the political commentary out there, though.


To be fair so wetdogturdsinthegrass.com would be a better site than more of the political commentary sits.
 
2014-02-17 05:39:18 PM  

meanmutton: hammettman: cocaine (if I know the source)

All coke comes from cartels.  There is no other source.  It comes from guys who indiscriminately use rape, torture, and the murder of children as weapons to control their distribution.  So enjoy your high but know that doing it is contributing to a child getting murdered, a judge getting assassinated, a man's wife getting raped in the middle of the night, a poor fisherman getting murdered after smuggling product because a bullet is cheaper than the $200 he was promised.


As they say, the lap dance is better when the stripper is crying
 
2014-02-17 05:45:12 PM  

aevorea: Mr_Fabulous: Never tried H, and doubt I ever will. But I did have a substantial IV dose of Demerol a couple of times... and I can easily understand how that sort of thing could become a serious habit.

I went from "Fark! I feel so farking awful make it stop noooooooooooowwww!" all the way to "I just love everybody in this room so much...even the biatchy ER nurse!"  in less than 3 minutes.

I made the nurse laugh because I was convinced I was going to fall THROUGH the hospital bed. On the other hand, it did make me forget about my defective appendix.


I snapped my fibia and tibia, and they attempted to force their way out of my skin.

Now the gas and air made me find this utterly hilarious.

The morphine on the other had, I could have quite happily gone dancing on that leg.

/4 days on a self-serving morphine IV. Bliss.
//Going to the toilet the first time after coming off it. Not bliss.
///Like a babies arm it was
 
2014-02-17 05:48:02 PM  

madgordy: both times I had surgery I was given Morphine during recovery. No relief from the pain and constipation.


If morphine didn't help the pain you're either pharmacological strong against painkillers genetically, which is a thing, or you were in A LOT of pain and it couldn't dull all of it.

I had a kidney stone. Morphine saved my life.
 
2014-02-17 05:51:23 PM  

Egoy3k: dennysgod: Good luck trying to buy coke with a clear conscience.

Yeah this. Which sucks, because it's pretty much awesome otherwise.


This! I would actively seek out a dime on the weekends if it wasn't produced by south american warlords and cut with a russian roulette cocktail of chemical compounds.
 
2014-02-17 05:51:39 PM  
Or just watch Trainspotting. Some people say it glorifies heroin use but in reality everyone who uses it in the movie is farked, including Renton who is a thief and a loser. Proven even more so in the sequel "Porno". And I like watching Trainspotting. It really is an anti-heroin movie.
 
2014-02-17 05:52:01 PM  
Additional CSB.

An ex-housemate of mine, he's immune to morphine.

I saw a doctor shoot him up with God knows how much and it didn't touch the pain at all. The doctor basically said that he couldn't give him any more as he was right up against overdose levels.

It's weird to see a 6ft 10 guy almost in tears because of the pain, having had enough morphine to bring down a horse with no effect on the guy whatsoever.

/Stupid doctor wouldn't let me have it instead :-(
 
2014-02-17 06:01:49 PM  
Everything I needed to know to NOT try heroin I first watched in this movie and later read in much greater detail in this book:

www.movieposterdb.com

/also, Scotland was colonized by wankers
 
2014-02-17 06:02:53 PM  
Oh FFS...

files.list.co.uk
 
2014-02-17 06:05:29 PM  
You dont quit heroin. Heroin quits you.
 
2014-02-17 06:21:56 PM  
madgordy:

both times I had surgery I was given Morphine during recovery.   No relief from the pain and constipation.


I've woken up three times during surgical procedures. No meds help THAT sort of misery, let me tell you.

/I'm told that I told the doctor, "Do your worst, I'll never tell."
//Which just goes to prove I've watched way too many spy movies.
 
2014-02-17 06:23:38 PM  
Heroin high is like totally overrated, dude.  I call it a "dirty nap".

Good for a nice, painless death, though.
So it's got that goin' for it.
 
2014-02-17 06:33:18 PM  
I knew two people that OD'ed on heroin.  Funerals for folks under the age of 23 are enough of a deterrent for me.  I'd much rather drink myself to death, it takes longer.
 
2014-02-17 06:45:34 PM  
4 more
i.cdn.turner.com
www.nepr.net
www.moviesteve.com
static.guim.co.uk
An outstanding member of their profession was seriously injured in an auto accident in 1933 and became addicted to morphine before he was 14 years old.  The doctors got him off morphine and on to heroin.  He was an addict until his death.  He was such an outstanding player when he was using that these 4, and many others, thought that one had to get high on heroin in order to perform at such high levels.  Three of them got clean and lived long lives.  One wrote about she was in awe of another, and not of the other's voice, but of the fact she "cooked up" using tuna can.  One of them taught a master's class that I had the great fortune to take.  I got him hooked into making his own reeds.

Drugs are bad, M'kay?
 
2014-02-17 06:47:23 PM  

doglover: madgordy: both times I had surgery I was given Morphine during recovery. No relief from the pain and constipation.

If morphine didn't help the pain you're either pharmacological strong against painkillers genetically, which is a thing, or you were in A LOT of pain and it couldn't dull all of it.

I had a kidney stone. Morphine saved my life.


I have a pretty high tolerance for painkillers (unfortunately). I was given morphine after spinal fusion surgery and it barely did anything. I vaguely remember being half conscious and sobbing in pain for over an hour before they finally decided to add some ketamine to the morphine drip.

Still didn't bring the pain down as much as I would have liked, but at least it was tolerable.

Man the first few days after that surgery were rough.
 
2014-02-17 06:57:26 PM  
Informal survey:  for the folks mentioning resistance to the painkilling effects of opiates:  was the person with the resistance to opiates in the story a redhead?

I remember reading on fark some years back that red hair is linked to weird pain responses.
 
2014-02-17 06:59:15 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-17 07:06:38 PM  
#3 seems like a carpel tunnel preventative. why is that BAD?
 
2014-02-17 07:11:36 PM  

Bonzo_1116: Informal survey:  for the folks mentioning resistance to the painkilling effects of opiates:  was the person with the resistance to opiates in the story a redhead?

I remember reading on fark some years back that red hair is linked to weird pain responses.


I know there's a correlation to eye color where blue/light eyed people have higher drug tolerances than dark eyed people.

I don't know anything about correlation to hair color.
 
2014-02-17 07:29:58 PM  

Bonzo_1116: Informal survey:  for the folks mentioning resistance to the painkilling effects of opiates:  was the person with the resistance to opiates in the story a redhead?

I remember reading on fark some years back that red hair is linked to weird pain responses.


Well Im a ginger and Im a lightweight for opiates. Like a shot of morphine and Im watching the birds on the wall paper move around and tweet.
 
2014-02-17 07:30:29 PM  
Opiates are scary, and awesome.  The best way I can describe how I feel on them is "happy".  I've never done H or anything illegal on the opiate side though, but I did have a moderate addiction to Vicodin after living on the stuff for 7+ weeks.

I was in a motorcycle crash, and completely pulverized my wrist.  I mean my hand was literally dangling there, and I had to scoop it up with my other hand.  The ambulance guys hit me with some Morphine during my ride to the hospital.  When I was waiting for the surgeon to show up, the nurse wheeled out this Chinese finger-cuff looking thing that was dangling from what looked like an IV stand.  He said I had to put my fingers in the cuff things, and let the weight of my arm start to pull my wrist back into shape.  I started laughing my ass off, and said "you better hook up the Morphine before I'll even consider that".  He said "don't worry, I'll hook you up".

He hit me with some IV Morphine, and asked "how's that"?  I said it was OK, but I wasn't there yet.  He hit me again, and I melted into the hospital bed, and gave him my arm, and said go for it.  Freaking amazing stuff.  When I woke up from surgery I was on a Morphine pump.  Mmmmmmm.  I figured out the intervals when it would let me run the pump (I could hear it run), and just sat there and watched the clock, pressing the button every 10 minutes or so

All I have to say is DAMN.  Good stuff.  It made me itchy though, so the nurse shot some Benadryl into my IV.  Knocked me out cold.  They put an external fixator instead of a cast because my wrist couldn't move at all while it healed.  I lived on extra strength Vicodin the whole time, and I'd have to take 2 at a time just to numb the pain enough to sleep for 4 hours.  Woke up, popped 2 more and slept for 4 more hours.  Popped them at work too.  When I finally stopped taking them I got the shakes, and would have panic attacks sometimes.  I NEEDED more Vicodin.  That part wasn't fun.  At all.  I know this is a long, pointless story.  I guess my point is I can absolutely see why people get addicted to that stuff.  I'll just stick to my weed now.  :)
 
2014-02-17 07:43:59 PM  
Hey, at least its not krokodil!
 
2014-02-17 07:50:42 PM  

Bonzo_1116: Informal survey:  for the folks mentioning resistance to the painkilling effects of opiates:  was the person with the resistance to opiates in the story a redhead?

I remember reading on fark some years back that red hair is linked to weird pain responses.


I have red hair,green eyes and pale skin but I don't have a resistance to opiates,I have a resistance to medications that are supposed to numb you. It takes a lot more to make me numb than it does for a normal person,my dentist called me a farking weirdo over it.
 
2014-02-17 07:56:33 PM  

Ned Stark: Hey, at least its not krokodil!


People who try krokodil never get a chance to write about it, I think.
 
2014-02-17 08:13:17 PM  

A Terrible Human: Bonzo_1116: Informal survey:  for the folks mentioning resistance to the painkilling effects of opiates:  was the person with the resistance to opiates in the story a redhead?

I remember reading on fark some years back that red hair is linked to weird pain responses.

I have red hair,green eyes and pale skin but I don't have a resistance to opiates,I have a resistance to medications that are supposed to numb you. It takes a lot more to make me numb than it does for a normal person,my dentist called me a farking weirdo over it.


This may be a stupid question, seeing how this is Fark and all... but do you drink too much? Drinking makes numbing agents lose their oomph.
 
ecl
2014-02-17 08:21:21 PM  

crotchgrabber: A Terrible Human: Bonzo_1116: Informal survey:  for the folks mentioning resistance to the painkilling effects of opiates:  was the person with the resistance to opiates in the story a redhead?

I remember reading on fark some years back that red hair is linked to weird pain responses.

I have red hair,green eyes and pale skin but I don't have a resistance to opiates,I have a resistance to medications that are supposed to numb you. It takes a lot more to make me numb than it does for a normal person,my dentist called me a farking weirdo over it.

This may be a stupid question, seeing how this is Fark and all... but do you drink too much? Drinking makes numbing agents lose their oomph.


YOU"RE THE ALCOHOLIC!!@1111!
 
2014-02-17 08:28:40 PM  
 Meh...this does sound close to it...I would add moving. I just moved and lost all my good connections....now weekends suck so bad.
 
2014-02-17 08:35:18 PM  
Here's one good reason to try heroin. The first time you use it it is like you're floating on a big fluffy pink tinged cloud and you are just lying there and watching the world go by in stop motion.

It doesn't get better than that. In fact, it gets pretty bad, but the first time is so good you keep chasing that high
 
2014-02-17 09:24:59 PM  

meanmutton: hammettman: cocaine (if I know the source)

All coke comes from cartels.  There is no other source.  It comes from guys who indiscriminately use rape, torture, and the murder of children as weapons to control their distribution.  So enjoy your high but know that doing it is contributing to a child getting murdered, a judge getting assassinated, a man's wife getting raped in the middle of the night, a poor fisherman getting murdered after smuggling product because a bullet is cheaper than the $200 he was promised.


So what do you think, would it be smarter to change the laws and take that business away from the cartels, or rely on dopers developing a conscience?
 
2014-02-17 09:54:21 PM  

Alexei Novikov: Fark opiates. fark opiates so hard that they get fired into the sun. I hope to see us develop a better way to manage pain one day.


We have it already, but you might not like it.

Convince yourself that it feels good.  If the pain is bad enough, it gets to be so intense that your brain can't really comprehend it, so convincing yourself that it's pleasurable is actually easier than if it were more mild.

Anything that chemically affects the pain receptors, used chronically, will have long term effects on your neurochemistry.  This is the downside of the neurological adaptability that is humans' great strength.

/or you can try ignoring it, but that's harder
 
2014-02-17 09:57:38 PM  

Prophet of Loss: Opiates make me incredibly nauseous. I guess I am both lucky and cursed. Lucky my addiction potential is basically nil. Cursed because opiates are pretty much all their is for late-game pain management.


They do that to me at first, and then I get used to it.  (Surgery 10 or so years ago, was given Vicodin, and then kidney stone surgery stuff last week, they gave me Percocet)
 
2014-02-17 10:01:33 PM  

doglover: madgordy: both times I had surgery I was given Morphine during recovery. No relief from the pain and constipation.

If morphine didn't help the pain you're either pharmacological strong against painkillers genetically, which is a thing, or you were in A LOT of pain and it couldn't dull all of it.

I had a kidney stone. Morphine saved my life.


My only experience with opiates was similar to madgordy's.  The pain was still there.  The only difference was that it felt like my brain was softened a bunch.  I watched football voluntarily.  Like, *watched* it.  And threw up a bunch.  So I figured, what's the point of taking the rest of my prescription?  I'd rather re-read The Godfather and keep my food down if I still have to deal with having had my jollies torn asunder and stapled back together.
 
2014-02-17 10:07:04 PM  

Thingster: Bonzo_1116: Informal survey:  for the folks mentioning resistance to the painkilling effects of opiates:  was the person with the resistance to opiates in the story a redhead?

I remember reading on fark some years back that red hair is linked to weird pain responses.

I know there's a correlation to eye color where blue/light eyed people have higher drug tolerances than dark eyed people.

I don't know anything about correlation to hair color.


My hair fades auburn and my eyes are half blue, wtf does that mean?

/besides being some weird genetic mutant
 
2014-02-17 10:09:13 PM  

meanmutton: hammettman: cocaine (if I know the source)

All coke comes from cartels.  There is no other source.  It comes from guys who indiscriminately use rape, torture, and the murder of children as weapons to control their distribution.  So enjoy your high but know that doing it is contributing to a child getting murdered, a judge getting assassinated, a man's wife getting raped in the middle of the night, a poor fisherman getting murdered after smuggling product because a bullet is cheaper than the $200 he was promised.


That's the law's fault. People need drugs. People will get those drugs. You can understand that lesson we learned in bloody lessons all over Chicago's streets in the 30s, or you can forget that the moral "high ground" is actually an amoral position that always causes the same unregulated black markets to form.

When was the last time someone was murdered for a bottle of booze? A cigar? A cup of coffee? A chocolate bar? We learned with those drugs.
 
2014-02-17 10:17:11 PM  

Mister Peejay: doglover: madgordy: both times I had surgery I was given Morphine during recovery. No relief from the pain and constipation.

If morphine didn't help the pain you're either pharmacological strong against painkillers genetically, which is a thing, or you were in A LOT of pain and it couldn't dull all of it.

I had a kidney stone. Morphine saved my life.

My only experience with opiates was similar to madgordy's.  The pain was still there.  The only difference was that it felt like my brain was softened a bunch.  I watched football voluntarily.  Like, *watched* it.  And threw up a bunch.  So I figured, what's the point of taking the rest of my prescription?  I'd rather re-read The Godfather and keep my food down if I still have to deal with having had my jollies torn asunder and stapled back together.


Opiates don't kill pain signals.

They make pain and change it from signal to noise. Sober, you're sitting there with an injury and it hurts and you can't not writhe in agony. It's pressing. With opiates, the pain receptors in your brain are no longer important information. It hurts, you can feel it hurt. But you don't care.
 
2014-02-17 10:26:08 PM  

crotchgrabber: A Terrible Human: Bonzo_1116: Informal survey:  for the folks mentioning resistance to the painkilling effects of opiates:  was the person with the resistance to opiates in the story a redhead?

I remember reading on fark some years back that red hair is linked to weird pain responses.

I have red hair,green eyes and pale skin but I don't have a resistance to opiates,I have a resistance to medications that are supposed to numb you. It takes a lot more to make me numb than it does for a normal person,my dentist called me a farking weirdo over it.

This may be a stupid question, seeing how this is Fark and all... but do you drink too much? Drinking makes numbing agents lose their oomph.


Nope I maybe drink 3 or 4 times a year.
 
2014-02-17 10:31:01 PM  

Mister Peejay: /or you can try ignoring it, but that's harder



For some of us it's not hard, it's kind of a benefit of ADHD -- you learn to use it to put things out of your mind. Not always 100% effective, and it's damn unpleasant when some idiot insists on calling attention to what you're working really hard to ignore, and it doesn't work at all when you're sleeping ... but it's often useful on many kinds of pain.
 
2014-02-17 10:53:52 PM  
What else would you expect from a website called "Cracked," to be unbiased to the other not-as-cool drugs?

/got nothing
 
2014-02-17 10:56:10 PM  
I recommend the book "The Heroin Diaries".  It's a collection of journal entries written by Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue during the peak of his heroin addiction in the late 1980s.  Reading that book re-affirmed my commitment to never try heroin.
 
2014-02-17 10:58:18 PM  
I was in traction with a number of broken bones in the hospital, and used to amuse myself by counting how long it took when Nurse Goodbottom gave me my morphine shot until the clocks started melting off the wall Salvatore Dali-style and the ceiling tiles would begin rearranging themselves. Usually 20-25 seconds max.

And I developed quite a craving for the stuff in a very short period of time. I found myself asking for morphine even when the pain wasn't too bad. Ended up having to detox a bit, never want to do that again.
 
2014-02-17 11:06:00 PM  
I had throat surgery for sleep apnea. After some complications as I recovered I managed to get some liquid hydrocodone because pills were impossible. That shiat was great. Only ONE damned pharmacy in all of NYC carried it.

It wasn't as great as that shot of Demerol I got once, holy moley no wonder people get hooked on that stuff, its like liquid love, sunshine and puppies.
 
2014-02-17 11:12:30 PM  
I've IV'd heroin before, it's nice, but pretty low down on the intensity scale for me. IV 2C-I OTOH...


Put me down with everyone saying that opiates/opioids  don't really take away the pain, just make you not care. I find benzodiazepines do a much better job, and, naturally, dissociative anesthetics (ketamine, PCP, N2O) can completely remove pain.
 
2014-02-17 11:23:32 PM  

EbolaNYC: I had throat surgery for sleep apnea. After some complications as I recovered I managed to get some liquid hydrocodone because pills were impossible. That shiat was great. Only ONE damned pharmacy in all of NYC carried it.

It wasn't as great as that shot of Demerol I got once, holy moley no wonder people get hooked on that stuff, its like liquid love, sunshine and puppies.


I was on oxy and hydrocodone a couple times after surgeries, really didn't do much for me. Maybe it was a low dosage or because it was pill form, but marijuana and aspirin is better, and the weed doesn't make me miserably constipated.

I did have a shot of codeine once for a medical procedure...that was pretty great, I felt pretty good even while watching the doctor slice into my leg with a scalpel.
 
2014-02-17 11:29:30 PM  

doglover: madgordy: both times I had surgery I was given Morphine during recovery. No relief from the pain and constipation.

If morphine didn't help the pain you're either pharmacological strong against painkillers genetically, which is a thing, or you were in A LOT of pain and it couldn't dull all of it.

I had a kidney stone. Morphine saved my life.


Oooh, I hope that it isn't a thing because I've taken morphine and vicodin and other opiates for pain and they really did not do much for me. I had a bad abscess and infection and was on a morphine drip and it did nothing. I was up all day and all night (in spite of the raging infection, fever, surgery, morphine drip, and two week's worth of sickness before going to see the doc). I do get nauseous and have even thrown up though.

Never saw much point to opiates. Like the drugs where you get to play with reality and amphetamines are fun too.
 
2014-02-17 11:35:46 PM  

LadySusan: doglover: madgordy: both times I had surgery I was given Morphine during recovery. No relief from the pain and constipation.

If morphine didn't help the pain you're either pharmacological strong against painkillers genetically, which is a thing, or you were in A LOT of pain and it couldn't dull all of it.

I had a kidney stone. Morphine saved my life.

Oooh, I hope that it isn't a thing because I've taken morphine and vicodin and other opiates for pain and they really did not do much for me. I had a bad abscess and infection and was on a morphine drip and it did nothing. I was up all day and all night (in spite of the raging infection, fever, surgery, morphine drip, and two week's worth of sickness before going to see the doc). I do get nauseous and have even thrown up though.

Never saw much point to opiates. Like the drugs where you get to play with reality and amphetamines are fun too.


Are you a redhead?

Opiates ARE the drugs that play with reality. They turn pain and fear into nothing but memories in a melty world of relaxation and itchy skin.
 
2014-02-17 11:45:22 PM  
doglover:

Are you a redhead?

Opiates ARE the drugs that play with reality. They turn pain and fear into nothing but memories in a melty world of relaxation and itchy skin.


I thought that was alcohol.

Neat thing is, I also have a rather low alcohol tolerance.  Downside of THAT is, I can't maintain a buzz like some people can.  One, two hours tops, then after that drinking more just gives me a stomachache so I don't bother.

Now, if only they sold some fine bourbons in smaller bottles.  375ml lasts me a very long time indeed.
 
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