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(Mental Floss)   Be the life of your President's Day party with this collection of fun facts. What, you aren't throwing a President's Day party? Why do you hate America, WHY?   (mentalfloss.com) divider line 38
    More: Interesting, President's Day  
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1559 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Feb 2014 at 11:05 AM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-17 09:52:00 AM
My theme this year is Chester A. Arthur.
 
2014-02-17 09:54:10 AM
I'm going with an FDR party, all the Japanese have to stay in the living room. And half the men have to be leaning on shovels.
 
2014-02-17 10:04:41 AM

Sybarite: My theme this year is Chester A. Arthur.


If you have a lot of birthers coming to your party, you have picked the perfect theme.
 
2014-02-17 10:05:20 AM
Ugh.  I hate this time of year.  Time to fluff the powdered wigs again.
 
2014-02-17 10:34:10 AM
a farking video?
 
2014-02-17 10:41:50 AM
This year its my turn to Sally Hemmings.
 
2014-02-17 10:43:47 AM
I was shocked to find out about James K. Polk's steam-powered anal beading machine.
 
2014-02-17 10:55:46 AM
I hate videos. :(
 
2014-02-17 10:57:16 AM

Sybarite: My theme this year is Chester A. Arthur.


Did you know he was Collector of Customs right here in New York?
 
2014-02-17 11:06:43 AM
If you're going to go, go all the way:

img844.imageshack.us
 
2014-02-17 11:11:35 AM
Let's celebrate President's Day with a huge bonfire. I'll bring the fiddle, you bring the constitution.
 
2014-02-17 11:12:16 AM

Bareefer Obonghit: I was shocked to find out about James K. Polk's steam-powered anal beading machine.


Weren't we all :-(
 
2014-02-17 11:15:04 AM
That video makes me want to punch kittens.
 
2014-02-17 11:17:12 AM

Somacandra: Bareefer Obonghit: I was shocked to find out about James K. Polk's steam-powered anal beading machine.

Weren't we all :-(


James Buchanan had it upgraded to electric, where it served in fine capacity until William Howard Taft broke it with a thunderous fart, sending the shards flying out of his anus and into Teddy Roosevelt's chest.

Roosevelt then gave an hourlong speech before going to the hospital to have Taft's anal shards removed, because he was one bad motherfarker.
 
2014-02-17 11:19:45 AM
Here's a fun Presidents' Day fact - there's no such thing as Presidents' Day. Officially, the holiday is still Washington's Birthday.
 
2014-02-17 11:20:05 AM
George Washington really did throw a Silver Dollar across the Potomac because a Dollar went a lot farther back then...
 
2014-02-17 11:42:47 AM
What, you aren't throwing a President's Day Party?  No subby, I'm at work.  This is a holiday for our betters in the ruling class.
 
2014-02-17 11:47:37 AM
How can anyone forget FARK-TV and the presidents day episode where the presidents had a lunch celebration and one asked Lincoln if he would like to sit at a BOOTH.
 
2014-02-17 11:48:20 AM
Just this morning I banged an intern, started a limited war with my neighbor across the street, bugged a foreign national, vomited on a Japanese politician, and screamed at a congressman on the phone.

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!
 
2014-02-17 11:54:16 AM

SmackLT: Just this morning I banged an intern, started a limited war with my neighbor across the street, bugged a foreign national, vomited on a Japanese politician, and screamed at a congressman on the phone.

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!


Begin bombing the Soviet Union in 5 minutes
 
2014-02-17 11:56:21 AM
Of all the holidays to be away from the family President's Day is always the hardest.
 
2014-02-17 11:59:18 AM

Smeggy Smurf: SmackLT: Just this morning I banged an intern, started a limited war with my neighbor across the street, bugged a foreign national, vomited on a Japanese politician, and screamed at a congressman on the phone.

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!

Begin bombing the Soviet Union in 5 minutes


That was my original plan, but there's this North Korean neighbor a couple blocks over and that dude is freaking nuts. He collects guns and seriously is looking for any reason at all to break them out and start shooting up the neighborhood.
 
2014-02-17 12:05:09 PM

HooskerDoo: Of all the holidays to be away from the family President's Day is always the hardest.


Yes, but chubby brunettes wearing berets are bound by law to offer you a blowjob on President's Day.
 
2014-02-17 12:13:36 PM

Kevin72: How can anyone forget FARK-TV and the presidents day episode where the presidents had a lunch celebration and one asked Lincoln if he would like to sit at a BOOTH.


Dathon, just like Pepperidge Farm, remembers:

i78.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-17 12:27:10 PM
Because, unlike bankers and teachers, some of us work for a living subby.
 
2014-02-17 12:29:50 PM

AngryDragon: Because, unlike bankers and teachers, some of us work for a living subby.


That's right, McDonald's is in fact open regular hours today.
 
2014-02-17 12:37:33 PM
I miss getting both Washington day and Lincoln day off.
 
2014-02-17 12:44:33 PM
Eh, I'm saving it all for Columbus Day. I've always wanted a thoroughbred farm, so I'm going to Calumet Farm, planting a flag and declaring it mine. I'm sure it'll go over well.
 
2014-02-17 12:49:12 PM
This is the first year since I've been at my job that we didn't get President's Day off.  Thanks, Obama.
 
2014-02-17 01:13:05 PM

QueenMamaBee: Eh, I'm saving it all for Columbus Day. I've always wanted a thoroughbred farm, so I'm going to Calumet Farm, planting a flag and declaring it mine. I'm sure it'll go over well.


Hope they have some nice workers there you can put into indentured servitude.
 
2014-02-17 01:38:39 PM
The real meaning of whatever it is that this "day" is called:

Less traffic and 25% off at Goodwill.
 
2014-02-17 01:39:31 PM
21tattoo.files.wordpress.com
I'm celebrating the semi-annual Lincoln's birthday sale in pre-teen maternity.
 
2014-02-17 03:27:50 PM

FirstNationalBastard: because he was one bad mother....


SHUT YO' MOUTH!

But, I'm talking about taft
('s anal shards)

then we can dig it
 
2014-02-17 03:52:20 PM
What, you aren't throwing a President's Day party? Why

Because I'm not a federal government employee with ten paid holidays a year?
 
2014-02-17 04:53:28 PM

vernonFL: This year its my turn to Sally Hemmings.


I think you accidentally the Thomas Jefferson.
 
2014-02-17 06:11:16 PM
My party was studying linear algebra for most of the day.

/nerd
 
2014-02-17 10:00:17 PM
Our William Henry Harrison party was very short.
 
2014-02-18 10:44:41 AM

OtherBrotherDarryl: Our William Henry Harrison party was very short.



Last year my Grover Cleveland party was held at two non-consecutive times.
 
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