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(CNN)   Dunce bitten, Christ lies   (cnn.com) divider line 95
    More: Repeat, Christ, Pentecostal, preachers, snakes, middleborough, holiness  
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8271 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Feb 2014 at 9:45 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-16 07:15:18 PM
I'm sure this sounded cleverer in your head.
 
2014-02-16 08:09:31 PM
Love this headline.
 
2014-02-16 08:58:02 PM

RexTalionis: I'm sure this sounded cleverer in your head.


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-16 08:59:53 PM

cdn1-www.wrestlezone.com
This is not the end. It is not the beginning. It's not even the beginning of the end, yet, the end of the beginning.

Trust me.

 
2014-02-16 09:47:41 PM
Good.
 
2014-02-16 09:48:39 PM
It's in the bible so it's true.
 
2014-02-16 09:49:18 PM
Shouldn't this story wait three days before rising again?
 
2014-02-16 09:50:29 PM
i2.cdn.turner.com

Are there two propane torches in this picture?
 
2014-02-16 09:51:46 PM
Another one? Man, that's two in one day.
 
2014-02-16 09:52:04 PM

drew46n2: It's in the bible so it's true.


That particular passage has been removed or treated as questionable for some time. Many think it was inserted after the original book was written. Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.
 
2014-02-16 09:52:25 PM
insert <goodcat.jpg>
 
2014-02-16 09:52:34 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-16 09:53:32 PM
You should be locked in a bar while pyrotechnics are being set off for submitting that title.
 
2014-02-16 09:54:58 PM
www.biography.com
"what? he had offspring? crap."
 
2014-02-16 09:55:44 PM
What a coot.
 
2014-02-16 09:57:46 PM
1-ps.googleusercontent.com

LOL

//Suprised these fundies don't die more often.
 
2014-02-16 09:58:36 PM
his adult son

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2014-02-16 09:59:11 PM
Never trust a rattlesnake!

tvmedia.ign.com
 
2014-02-16 09:59:15 PM

drew46n2: It's in the bible so it's true.


Well, to be fair,    "the ardent Pentecostal believer said that he believed that a passage in the Bible suggests poisonous snakebites will not harm believers as long as they are anointed by God. "


Perhaps he simply was not anointed by God.
 
2014-02-16 10:00:00 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: drew46n2: It's in the bible so it's true.

That particular passage has been removed or treated as questionable for some time. Many think it was inserted after the original book was written. Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.


Matthew 4:7 isn't in dispute though. It's amazing to me how there always seems to be an inverse relationship between how devout people claim to be and their actual knowledge of their chosen religion.

You're not supposed to actually put the Christian god to the test.
 
2014-02-16 10:01:21 PM
A Kentucky pastor who starred in a reality show about snake-handling in church has died -- of a snakebite. Jamie Coots died Saturday evening after refusing to be treated, Middleborough police said.

On "Snake Salvation," the ardent Pentecostal believer said that he believed that a passage in the Bible suggests poisonous snakebites will not harm believers as long as they are anointed by God. The practice is illegal in most states, but still goes on, primarily in the rural South.

Looks like that worked out for him.

In the battle between religion/superstition and biology (plus physics), biology wins.

/stupid is as stupid dies
 
2014-02-16 10:02:08 PM
Jebus doesn't want them to become old Coots
 
2014-02-16 10:04:01 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.


There's proper snake handling techniques.  Then there is putting the snake's attitude in God's control.

GIS down syndrome snake
 
2014-02-16 10:05:54 PM

trappedspirit: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.

There's proper snake handling techniques.  Then there is putting the snake's attitude in God's control.

GIS down syndrome snake


Also trained professional herpetologists are not retards.
 
2014-02-16 10:09:08 PM
we should all observe a moment by drinking a Yukon Jack and lime juice......

then remember he got what he was after, snakes don't want to goto church.....
 
2014-02-16 10:11:43 PM
img.fark.net

R.I.P. Ice-T

 
2014-02-16 10:13:58 PM
The problem simply can't be that the Bible is in error - this fella just didn't have enough faith.

tzzhc4: [1-ps.googleusercontent.com image 530x394]

LOL

//Suprised these fundies don't die more often.


Not that the original *isn't* shopped, but I like that version because it has the head of "monkey Jesus", rather than the traditional visage.

www8.myfantasyleague.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-16 10:19:12 PM
Oh, if there was ever a time for the "good" grumpy cat, this is it.
 
2014-02-16 10:20:54 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-16 10:23:48 PM
clearly he was a SHINO (Snake Handler In Name Only)
 
2014-02-16 10:24:12 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: drew46n2: It's in the bible so it's true.

That particular passage has been removed or treated as questionable for some time. Many think it was inserted after the original book was written. Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.


Well, since the whole thing was compiled a few hundred years after the alleged event from hundreds of folk stories by men with a religious axe to grind... why would anyone trust the veracity of a single word in it?

Oh, yeah, because it's the inspired word of god. LOL
 
2014-02-16 10:24:35 PM
This headline is bad, and you should feel bad.
 
2014-02-16 10:25:46 PM
I blame teh gheys.
 
2014-02-16 10:25:52 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

heh
 
2014-02-16 10:28:25 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: trappedspirit: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.

There's proper snake handling techniques.  Then there is putting the snake's attitude in God's control.

GIS down syndrome snake

Also trained professional herpetologists are not retards.


I like pressing my luck with wildlife, so when I went to el paso I looked into grabbing a wild rattlesnake and goofing around with it for fun.  What I found was professional handlers saying things like 'even if you do everything right, if the snake catches a whiff of something tasty like a rat he may instinctively just lash out at you regardless of what you do'.  Ime most snakes are pretty calm once you get them off the ground and they realize you aren't trying to kill them. Pit vipers? Not so much apparently.

So ya, fark that.

I did play with every tarantula I met.  Those buggers are predictable and some were even friendly (plus it doesn't cost damn near six figures to treat if you do get bit).
 
2014-02-16 10:30:29 PM
Is the smake going to be ok?
 
2014-02-16 10:32:41 PM
This is why you don't fark with a badass like Boyd Crowder.
 
2014-02-16 10:34:08 PM

mongbiohazard: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: drew46n2: It's in the bible so it's true.

That particular passage has been removed or treated as questionable for some time. Many think it was inserted after the original book was written. Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.

Matthew 4:7 isn't in dispute though. It's amazing to me how there always seems to be an inverse relationship between how devout people claim to be and their actual knowledge of their chosen religion.

You're not supposed to actually put the Christian god to the test.


The whole Bible is tl;dr to most of them, they just go with what outright frauds like Pat Robertson say.
 
2014-02-16 10:38:42 PM

trappedspirit: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.

There's proper snake handling techniques.  Then there is putting the snake's attitude in God's control.

GIS down syndrome snake


ha

img.gawkerassets.com
 
2014-02-16 10:39:20 PM
Jamie Coots died Saturday evening after refusing to be treated, Middleborough police said.

Where is your God now?
 
2014-02-16 10:40:56 PM

Smackledorfer: I like pressing my luck with wildlife, so when I went to el paso I looked into grabbing a wild rattlesnake and goofing around with it for fun.  What I found was professional handlers saying things like 'even if you do everything right, if the snake catches a whiff of something tasty like a rat he may instinctively just lash out at you regardless of what you do'.  Ime most snakes are pretty calm once you get them off the ground and they realize you aren't trying to kill them. Pit vipers? Not so much apparently.

So ya, fark that.

I did play with every tarantula I met.  Those buggers are predictable and some were even friendly (plus it doesn't cost damn near six figures to treat if you do get bit).


I applaud this kind of behavior and encourage you to consider the fact that many people like watching TV shows where this is done.  You could be quite popular with your own show.  Maybe it's time to take it to the next level, and get paid at the same time.  There's a good chance a producer at the discover channel is just waiting to hear from a guy like you.  You never know till you try, right?
 
2014-02-16 10:48:40 PM

Nutsac_Jim: trappedspirit: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.

There's proper snake handling techniques.  Then there is putting the snake's attitude in God's control.

GIS down syndrome snake

ha

[img.gawkerassets.com image 850x478]


Herpus Derpus Crotalinae
 
2014-02-16 10:49:33 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: A Kentucky pastor who starred in a reality show about snake-handling in church has died -- of a snakebite. Jamie Coots died Saturday evening after refusing to be treated, Middleborough police said.

On "Snake Salvation," the ardent Pentecostal believer said that he believed that a passage in the Bible suggests poisonous snakebites will not harm believers as long as they are anointed by God. The practice is illegal in most states, but still goes on, primarily in the rural South.

Looks like that worked out for him.

In the battle between religion/superstition and biology (plus physics), biology wins.

/stupid is as stupid dies


"I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What more did you *want*?"

/Not obscure.
 
2014-02-16 10:50:56 PM

Nutsac_Jim: trappedspirit: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.

There's proper snake handling techniques.  Then there is putting the snake's attitude in God's control.

GIS down syndrome snake

ha

[img.gawkerassets.com image 850x478]


Dude, when we are standing there, welcoming our new reptile overlords do you think this insult to snakes will be laughed off?
 
2014-02-16 10:57:50 PM
If I had the money to do so, I'd donate crates full of black and green Mambas to these people.
These goofballs think that relatively sedate rattlers are test of faith? Enjoy my boxes of fun!
 
2014-02-16 11:03:27 PM
The bible also claims that anyone touched by the holy spirit has had the curse of Babel removed, and they speak a language that any human in the world can understand (and they can understand the speech of any other human, language regardless).  And then it says that all true believers have the holy spirit.

So... yeah.  If you can't comfortably hold a conversation with a Farsi speaker, a Japanese speaker, and someone speaking to you in a mix of biblical Aramaic and the dead tongue of lost Ur at the same time... then you're not a true believer, and perhaps you should hold off on trying the snake thing.

// Or, y'know, you could accept that the stories are primarily metaphorical like a sane person.  I mean, there are problems with the bible as metaphor and allegory, too, but at least they're problems of the "but the logic of these passages conflicts, what do I do?" variety and less of the "I saw a sign that said 'stop', so I shocked myself until my heart ceased beating because what's a context and what does it do?" variety.
 
2014-02-16 11:03:28 PM

trappedspirit: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Also any retard that handles snakes reaps what he sows if you will.

There's proper snake handling techniques.  Then there is putting the snake's attitude in God's control.

GIS down syndrome snake


Ann Coulter is in the results.
 
2014-02-16 11:05:33 PM
oops, someone else posted it already.  nevermind.
 
2014-02-16 11:07:18 PM
Science 1, Religion 0.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-02-16 11:12:29 PM
Fark You Buddy: Science 1, Religion 0. -1

FTFY
 
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