If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(TMZ)   TV pastor bitten by venomous snake. This is not a repeat from Genesis   (tmz.com) divider line 111
    More: Fail, breaking newses  
•       •       •

2981 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Feb 2014 at 12:52 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



111 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-16 12:01:49 PM  
Christ, what an idiot.
 
2014-02-16 12:14:16 PM  
Didn't I see this on an episode of Justified?  Didn't work out well for that guy, either.

/wants to be Raylan Givens when I grow up
 
2014-02-16 12:15:21 PM  
the Bible says a poisonous snakebite will not harm them as long as they are anointed by God's power.

Everyone who has been anointed by God's power take one step forward not so fast Pastor.
 
2014-02-16 12:20:05 PM  
I never worry when I'm bitten by a poisonous snake, unless said snake is also venomous.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-02-16 12:21:16 PM  
He must have had an impure thought.
 
2014-02-16 12:26:22 PM  
He may not have believed in evilution, but evilution believed in him.
 
2014-02-16 12:38:01 PM  
*snicker*

show me: Christ, what an idiot.

 
2014-02-16 01:00:02 PM  
www.trilobite.org
 
2014-02-16 01:00:37 PM  
So, now that it is clear that (a) being anointed by God does not stop you from dying if a snake bites you or (b) that this guy was not anointed by God, what do the people who were following him do? Either he was completely incorrect, or a false prophet.  Neither is good, so what do they do and where do they go?
 
2014-02-16 01:01:32 PM  

swaniefrmreddeer: He may not have believed in evilution, but evilution believed in him.


Too late, he's already procreated. But his son may follow in his footsteps.
 
2014-02-16 01:01:42 PM  
And The Lord said, "TLC reality shows are blessed in my eyes, but appeareth not on the Nat Geo Channel, for it is an abomination."
2 TVGuide 8:13-14
 
2014-02-16 01:02:00 PM  
Dead.

And no, they don't pray to the snakes.
 
2014-02-16 01:02:44 PM  
So the hubris of thinking God would make you immune to the rules of the universe if you run a sincere enough fan club caught up with him. Eh.
 
2014-02-16 01:03:05 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: I never worry when I'm bitten by a poisonous snake, unless said snake is also venomous.


crow202.org
 
2014-02-16 01:03:33 PM  
"Sometimes, they make it too damn easy for me."
www.macroevolution.net
 
2014-02-16 01:04:11 PM  
fark with the bull you get the horns . . . Or something like that
 
2014-02-16 01:04:30 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-16 01:05:07 PM  
Stupid should hurt, and really, really stupid should really really hurt.
 
2014-02-16 01:05:39 PM  
Well, I guess he...

*Puts on sunglasses*

Wasn't too charming.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
 
2014-02-16 01:06:06 PM  
I vas drivink my car once and vas bitten by a vindshield viper.
 
2014-02-16 01:07:34 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
HA HAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
 
2014-02-16 01:12:33 PM  
media.moddb.com
 
2014-02-16 01:13:59 PM  
Seen in the vicinity.
www.chocolateboxwriters.com
 
2014-02-16 01:16:55 PM  
Gotcha

i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-16 01:17:06 PM  
And I'm sure his congregation will be on the doorstep of the church again next Sunday repeating cycle of stupidity.
 
2014-02-16 01:20:23 PM  

RodneyToady: And The Lord said, "TLC reality shows are blessed in my eyes, but appeareth not on the Nat Geo Channel, for it is an abomination."
2 TVGuide 8:13-14


7:13-14 Central
 
2014-02-16 01:27:41 PM  
I'm sorry he's dead, I guess. I'm more sorry that no one in his congregation will learn anything from this.
 
2014-02-16 01:28:06 PM  

Barfmaker: the Bible says a poisonous snakebite will not harm them as long as they are anointed by God's power.

Everyone who has been anointed by God's power take one step forward not so fast Pastor.


Clearly he's in hell now.  Satan is sticking him in the ass with his pitchfork.

/ "pitchfork" is a euphemism for "penis"
 
2014-02-16 01:28:30 PM  
Jerk Jesus for the win.

"Yeah Dude, fondle that serpent. It's totally safe."
 
2014-02-16 01:29:46 PM  
Well, bye.
 
2014-02-16 01:31:08 PM  
"A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke." - Jack Handey
 
2014-02-16 01:31:15 PM  
Then, verily, did I send Steve Irwin as a warning unto you, and you did not heed my message.
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-16 01:33:13 PM  
What a nut.

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to drink some strychnine from a Mason jar.
 
2014-02-16 01:34:04 PM  
Didn't we have this exact same situation like 2 weeks ago?

At this pace maybe they'll go extinct.

/who am I kidding? As long as there's money to be made we'll always have snake charming preachers.
 
2014-02-16 01:38:25 PM  

cygnusx13: /who am I kidding? As long as there's money to be made we'll always have snake charming preachers.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZna1zkWUF8
 
2014-02-16 01:40:01 PM  
Not that any of you will find this surprising, but snake handling is indeed a uniquely American form of Christianity:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_handling
 
2014-02-16 01:42:10 PM  

contrapunctus: Not that any of you will find this surprising, but snake handling is indeed a uniquely American form of Christianity:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_handling


I've been under the impression that Fark was the center of snake handling as a religion

/if you know what I mean
 
2014-02-16 01:48:37 PM  
Unless he died from eating the snake or rubbing it on his skin, the snake isn't "poisonous", it's venomous.
 
2014-02-16 01:48:53 PM  

styckx: And I'm sure his congregation will be on the doorstep of the church again next Sunday repeating cycle of stupidity.


He was SO holy that Jesus rewarded him by taking him to heaven! Pass the strychnine.
 
2014-02-16 01:50:18 PM  
If only....
ivarfjeld.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-16 01:52:06 PM  
Whew! Thank god, nothing of value was lost.
 
2014-02-16 01:54:58 PM  

BunkyBrewman: Didn't I see this on an episode of Justified?  Didn't work out well for that guy, either.

/wants to be Raylan Givens when I grow up


I want to DO Raylan Givens.
 
2014-02-16 01:56:37 PM  

show me: Christ, what an idiot.


Jesus, what a laugh. Practically a miracle, if miracles were utterly predictable outcomes of stupid behaviours instead of "magic to a retard".
 
2014-02-16 01:57:13 PM  
Damn, guys, there's some comedy gold in this thread.

I haven't laughed this hard all week.
 
2014-02-16 01:59:53 PM  
I'm not excusing ignorance by any means here, but I think it's important to keep in mind where these types of churches are located.  Parts of Appalachia redefine the word 'poverty'.  There are are backwood areas of this country that are damn near indistinguishable from 1890.

There are a few documentaries on YouTube about the snake handling churches, and the areas they're located in.  It's really no different from inner city dysfunction; once a way of life becomes normalized, the cycle starts and it's hard to break out of.

If you haven't seen this yet, I highly suggest watching it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9wyOJ4di0g
 
2014-02-16 02:03:09 PM  

Bslim: Whew! Thank god, nothing of value was lost.


That poor snake will be put down because of the retard. We could have made antivenom, given educational lessons, performed research on the snake, so yea buddy, we lost something important.

Hate it when arseholes cost the life of an animal that was doing nothing more than what it is supposed to do.
 
2014-02-16 02:03:39 PM  
Humanity simultaneusly rid itself of a reality tv scumbag/religious parasite. There just might be a god.
 
2014-02-16 02:08:52 PM  
community.us.playstation.com
 
2014-02-16 02:09:49 PM  
If Adam & Eve were both white, where did black people come from?

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-02-16 02:12:10 PM  
In the words of natural born killers : "Look, B**ch, you knew i was a snake"
 
Displayed 50 of 111 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report