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(The Hill)   So what's his Fark handle?   (thehill.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Cornyn, McConnell v. FEC  
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4112 clicks; posted to Politics » on 15 Feb 2014 at 10:41 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-15 10:42:18 AM  
Does this mean I have to throw out my "I Saw a Turtle" t-shirt?
 
2014-02-15 10:45:58 AM  
Help! Mr. Wizard!
 
2014-02-15 10:49:38 AM  
"You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws"


That ad had more GOP dog-whistles than a drunken hillbilly stump speech.

Did Cornyn get his GED in Law from Tijuana Upstairs University?
 
2014-02-15 10:58:43 AM  
Wait, Cornyn has MULTIPLE Tea Party challengers? I assumed it was Stockman based on the article's title, but I see it's this other guy.

Not sure how to feel, seeing as this guy is far more likely to take votes from Stockman than Cornyn: sure Stockman would make for a more competitive race, but Cornyn actually isn't crazy when there is actually a deadline to get things done in Congress or else we see everything explode.
 
2014-02-15 10:58:47 AM  
Al Gore.

Is Al Gore running for president again?  I thought he was a shoe-in.  Why does he not want to be president now?
 
2014-02-15 10:59:07 AM  
I see he's using the well known right wing tactic of "just making shiat up"
 
2014-02-15 11:13:50 AM  

modestlivinglegend: Al Gore.

Is Al Gore running for president again?  I thought he was a shoe-in.  Why does he not want to be president now?


WTF are you talking about?
 
2014-02-15 11:13:55 AM  
"I have a dog, a shotgun, and a pickup truck.  vote for me."
 
2014-02-15 11:15:17 AM  

PanicMan: "I have a dog, a shotgun, and a pickup truck.  vote for me."


He's bald and wears jeans and boots.  Truly the mark of a True Conservative.
 
2014-02-15 11:22:03 AM  
The resemblance is quite striking
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-15 11:25:33 AM  
there is something delicious about the inevitable purity test backfire.
 
2014-02-15 11:32:31 AM  

Fart_Machine: PanicMan: "I have a dog, a shotgun, and a pickup truck.  vote for me."

He's bald and wears jeans and boots.  Truly the mark of a True Conservative.


He's Joe the Plumber?
 
2014-02-15 11:36:34 AM  

gravy chugging cretin.: Fart_Machine: PanicMan: "I have a dog, a shotgun, and a pickup truck.  vote for me."

He's bald and wears jeans and boots.  Truly the mark of a True Conservative.

He's Joe the Plumber?


Dwayne the Bridge Builder - obviously all free market bootstrap bridges, of course. None of that socialism of public road funds for our boy Steve, or anything.

No Siree.
 
2014-02-15 11:38:45 AM  
"You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws"

I'm sure if one of these Conservatives was asked to list one or more of these unconstitutional laws, it would be Obama is a Marxist and futhermore
 
2014-02-15 11:43:12 AM  
Every time I see McConnell, I can't help but think of that "master race worst examples" comic book panel.

AND WHERE THE fark IS YOUR CHIN?
 
2014-02-15 11:44:47 AM  

crazyeddie: "You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws"


That ad had more GOP dog-whistles than a drunken hillbilly stump speech.

Did Cornyn get his GED in Law from Tijuana Upstairs University?


Does anyone else find it odd that those against enslaving our children are the ones most for repealing or weakening child labor laws?
 
2014-02-15 11:47:02 AM  

grumpfuff: Every time I see McConnell, I can't help but think of that "master race worst examples" comic book panel.

AND WHERE THE fark IS YOUR CHIN?


I have no idea what you're talking about.

fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net
 
2014-02-15 11:49:34 AM  
Love the "More You Know" theft at the end of the ad.
 
2014-02-15 11:50:09 AM  

heap: Dwayne the Bridge Builder - obviously all free market bootstrap bridges, of course. None of that socialism of public road funds for our boy Steve, or anything.

No Siree.


And even better:
Any bridge contract worth a damn (1 million or more) is likely to be federally funded, even on the county roads.

/did heavy construction for 10 years
 
2014-02-15 11:53:49 AM  
FTA: "You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws."

Something tells me this guy would prefer the old days of this country when we enslaved children with constitutional laws.
 
2014-02-15 12:01:42 PM  
Sometimes I can't really decide if it's the chin that makes him look more like a turtle or if it's the lack of lips.
 
2014-02-15 12:32:39 PM  
McConnell must be having flashbacks to middle and high school.  Name calling based on looks is so....hurtful.

Unless you are fat, then it is ok.
 
2014-02-15 12:50:28 PM  

MrEricSir: FTA: "You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws."

Something tells me this guy would prefer the old days of this country when we enslaved children with constitutional laws.


Of course I'll bet that to him "unconstitutional" equates to "stuff he disagrees with".
 
2014-02-15 01:10:52 PM  
McConnell will hopefully be voted out of office. He is an awful person doing awful things in the government.
 
2014-02-15 01:16:15 PM  

wildcardjack: grumpfuff: Every time I see McConnell, I can't help but think of that "master race worst examples" comic book panel.

AND WHERE THE fark IS YOUR CHIN?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net image 850x315]


I knew Stephen Fry did voice work for games; I did not know he was a character in them as well.
 
2014-02-15 01:28:52 PM  

heavymetal: MrEricSir: FTA: "You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws."

Something tells me this guy would prefer the old days of this country when we enslaved children with constitutional laws.

Of course I'll bet that to him "unconstitutional" equates to "stuff he disagrees with".


He's a passionate defender, etc., etc.

Satanic_Hamster: heap: Dwayne the Bridge Builder - obviously all free market bootstrap bridges, of course. None of that socialism of public road funds for our boy Steve, or anything.

No Siree.

And even better:
Any bridge contract worth a damn (1 million or more) is likely to be federally funded, even on the county roads.

/did heavy construction for 10 years


And I'm glad they are - they tend to last longer that way, and the fed money means they have to pay attention to everything else while they map out the bridge.

/worked on some NHPA-Section 106 compliance while in grad school
 
2014-02-15 01:42:01 PM  
This is better than March madness.  I can't wait to see who makes it to the Asinine Eight.
 
2014-02-15 01:42:25 PM  
It looked like that guy was getting ready to take his dog out in the country and shoot it.
 
2014-02-15 01:59:01 PM  
Am I the only one who hopes many teabaggers successfully primary incumbents, only to be blown out of the water by the Democrats come election time?

/'cuz nothing says "voter turnout bonanza" like making sure your establishment candidate doesn't even make it to the general election.
 
2014-02-15 02:07:54 PM  

UNC_Samurai: heavymetal: MrEricSir: FTA: "You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws."

Something tells me this guy would prefer the old days of this country when we enslaved children with constitutional laws.

Of course I'll bet that to him "unconstitutional" equates to "stuff he disagrees with".

He's a passionate defender, etc., etc.


Wait, so does this mean we've uncovered the secret identity of Area Man?
 
2014-02-15 02:09:19 PM  

Hickory-smoked: "You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws"

I'm sure if one of these Conservatives was asked to list one or more of these unconstitutional laws, it would be Obama is a Marxist and futhermore


and I heard (really! Derp!) that Obama changed the constitution.
 
2014-02-15 02:12:25 PM  

Grungehamster: Wait, Cornyn has MULTIPLE Tea Party challengers? I assumed it was Stockman based on the article's title, but I see it's this other guy.

Not sure how to feel, seeing as this guy is far more likely to take votes from Stockman than Cornyn: sure Stockman would make for a more competitive race, but Cornyn actually isn't crazy when there is actually a deadline to get things done in Congress or else we see everything explode.


These bozos are going to eat each other alive.  A circular purity test squad.

On the off chance one of these short bus riders actually does win the primary, please tell me there's a strong, moderate democrat who can settle their hash come November.
 
2014-02-15 02:14:01 PM  
What's his Fark handle?  A better question is what is his Stormfront handle?
 
2014-02-15 02:19:03 PM  
Slavery reference!  You know what to do!

www.thes4p.com
 
2014-02-15 02:19:30 PM  
So what's his Fark handle?

Because utterly condemning a dipshiat like Mitch McConnell has to be trolling, subby.
 
2014-02-15 02:23:26 PM  

whidbey: So what's his Fark handle?

Because utterly condemning a dipshiat like Mitch McConnell has to be trolling, subby.


But is this guy utterly condemning said dipshiat Mitch McConnell for not being a big enough dipshiat? Aye, there's the rub.
 
2014-02-15 02:26:36 PM  

red5ish: Aye, there's the rub.


Oh. drtfa. Yeah well, it probably is one of those Farkers with hundreds of link submissions in their profile, then.
 
2014-02-15 02:41:46 PM  

red5ish: whidbey: So what's his Fark handle?

Because utterly condemning a dipshiat like Mitch McConnell has to be trolling, subby.

But is this guy utterly condemning said dipshiat Mitch McConnell for not being a big enough dipshiat? Aye, there's the rub.


Maybe it's 10lbsofcowcrud. That's about his speed.
 
2014-02-15 02:57:30 PM  

Gyrfalcon: red5ish: whidbey: So what's his Fark handle?

Because utterly condemning a dipshiat like Mitch McConnell has to be trolling, subby.

But is this guy utterly condemning said dipshiat Mitch McConnell for not being a big enough dipshiat? Aye, there's the rub.

Maybe it's 10lbsofcowcrud. That's about his speed.


It's gotta either be him or randomjsa.
 
2014-02-15 03:03:16 PM  

geek_mars: Gyrfalcon: red5ish: whidbey: So what's his Fark handle?

Because utterly condemning a dipshiat like Mitch McConnell has to be trolling, subby.

But is this guy utterly condemning said dipshiat Mitch McConnell for not being a big enough dipshiat? Aye, there's the rub.

Maybe it's 10lbsofcowcrud. That's about his speed.

It's gotta either be him or randomjsa.


I would argue it wouldn't be random, because random is more of a fiscal conservative, socially liberal type. I vaguely recall him being pro-marriage equality and anti-ID, so he likely won't fit in Texas politics.
 
2014-02-15 03:08:00 PM  

grumpfuff: geek_mars: Gyrfalcon: red5ish: whidbey: So what's his Fark handle?

Because utterly condemning a dipshiat like Mitch McConnell has to be trolling, subby.

But is this guy utterly condemning said dipshiat Mitch McConnell for not being a big enough dipshiat? Aye, there's the rub.

Maybe it's 10lbsofcowcrud. That's about his speed.

It's gotta either be him or randomjsa.

I would argue it wouldn't be random, because random is more of a fiscal conservative, socially liberal type. I vaguely recall him being pro-marriage equality and anti-ID, so he likely won't fit in Texas politics.


DIA maybe...
 
2014-02-15 03:25:18 PM  
Definitely wasn't the Farker who posted this a few days ago. Wrong species
o.onionstatic.com
 
2014-02-15 03:54:44 PM  
Yes, Texas.  Send another Ted Cruz to the Senate.  That'll fix everything.
 
2014-02-15 03:59:23 PM  

doyner: Yes, Texas.  Send another Ted Cruz to the Senate.  That'll fix everything.


You don't want to see their Wondertwin Powers Activate?
 
2014-02-15 04:21:19 PM  
It is not honorable, but in his place I would discuss Cornyn's murderous, incestous peophilia and how he masturbates at an altar with graven idols of Stalin and Hitler on it.  Then I would get down to some real mud-flinging...
 
2014-02-15 04:28:57 PM  
So, in regards to the headline (not so much the article), this just cropped up on Facebook a few minutes ago:

fbcdn-photos-h-a.akamaihd.net

I... can't stop laughing
 
2014-02-15 05:26:16 PM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: So, in regards to the headline (not so much the article), this just cropped up on Facebook a few minutes ago:

[fbcdn-photos-h-a.akamaihd.net image 300x300]

I... can't stop laughing


That's a pear.
 
2014-02-15 05:28:34 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: So, in regards to the headline (not so much the article), this just cropped up on Facebook a few minutes ago:

[fbcdn-photos-h-a.akamaihd.net image 300x300]

I... can't stop laughing

That's a pear.


Just because someone can count to potato doesn't mean they can identify one.
 
2014-02-15 05:48:27 PM  

EJ25T: Satanic_Hamster: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: So, in regards to the headline (not so much the article), this just cropped up on Facebook a few minutes ago:

[fbcdn-photos-h-a.akamaihd.net image 300x300]

I... can't stop laughing

That's a pear.

Just because someone can count to potato doesn't mean they can identify one.


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-15 05:56:22 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: So, in regards to the headline (not so much the article), this just cropped up on Facebook a few minutes ago:

[fbcdn-photos-h-a.akamaihd.net image 300x300]

I... can't stop laughing

That's a pear.


No it's a street light.
 
2014-02-15 06:14:14 PM  

Gyrfalcon: red5ish: whidbey: So what's his Fark handle?

Because utterly condemning a dipshiat like Mitch McConnell has to be trolling, subby.

But is this guy utterly condemning said dipshiat Mitch McConnell for not being a big enough dipshiat? Aye, there's the rub.

Maybe it's 10lbsofcowcrud. That's about his speed.


Funny, s/he/it hasn't been around for a while, and I just checked my ignore list and s/he/it isn't on it.
 
2014-02-15 07:12:42 PM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: Funny, s/he/it hasn't been around for a while, and I just checked my ignore list and s/he/it isn't on it.


Bahleeted lo so many moons ago. Every now and then the admins have a Night of the Long Knives and a new crop shows up a few weeks later.
 
2014-02-15 07:15:43 PM  
Any politician from Texas is at least as bad an a politician from Kaintuck.
 
2014-02-15 08:38:49 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Any politician from Texas is at least as bad an a politician from Kaintuck.

timeopinions.files.wordpress.com
"I beg your pardon sir."
 
2014-02-15 09:21:06 PM  
Imagine if job interviews were the same idea.  You would tell the employer just how shiatty someone else you know was and if you had the best story, you would win the job.
 
2014-02-16 12:32:12 AM  
i1079.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-16 01:02:59 AM  

Dave and the Mission: The resemblance is quite striking
[img.fark.net image 850x477]


It Is, and it makes a funny joke here on Fark. It has absolutely no business in a campaign ad. It's unprofessional as hell. "Fights like a turtle", I don't know MCConnell well enough, but "looks like a turtle" is 3rd grade enough that I wouldn't vote for the guy. If I disliked McConnell in the race, I'd abstain from voting rather than give someone my vote after they basically called their opponent a "poopy pants". We have to start holding these people up to SOME kind of standard, this shiat is getting ridiculous.
 
2014-02-16 02:07:04 AM  
"We Texans don't need a Beltway turtle telling us how to fight," Stovall continues.

What does that actually mean? I keep reading and rereading that line and it still means potato to me.
 
2014-02-16 02:08:44 AM  

quatchi: "We Texans don't need a Beltway turtle telling us how to fight," Stovall continues.

What does that actually mean? I keep reading and rereading that line and it still means potato to me.


Does he think it's a boxing gig?
 
2014-02-16 03:09:11 AM  
God why is this still farking greenlit?

Do any of you really think the Fark Gods are going to give the banhammer to some of the most obnoxious troll institutions here? No. This is the real Fark--it's a right-leaning political site. Yes. Sorry if that harshes some of your mellows. They farking endorsed Ron Paul fer chrissakes.
 
2014-02-16 09:44:05 AM  

heap: there is something delicious about the inevitable purity test backfire.


GIMME EAT!

GIVE EVERYBODY EAT!
 
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