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(io9)   God, what an asshole   (io9.com) divider line 176
    More: Interesting, Gomorrah, Israelites, conservatisms  
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21507 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 5:24 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-14 02:39:07 PM
I always loved the killing kids with bears story and the random gonna kill Moses story. I like to think that the bears story was really just some bald guy who was copying an early Torah and people made fun of him so he included his own fantasy of what he'd like to happen.
 
2014-02-14 02:44:03 PM
It's like Earth is some Sadist version of The Sims..
 
2014-02-14 03:07:58 PM
What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

#1: Eliseus was a prophet of God.  Think on that for a moment.  His job is to represent God in physical form on this plane of existence.If Eliseus didn't kill those children then it would give the appearance that God wasn't God.

See, its double standards like this- First he's God, then he's not God- that atheists and non-believers are hypocritical about.

#2: Turning Lots wife into salt.  Why did he do it?  Lots wife was punished by being turned into a pillar of salt for direct disobedience- she turned around, looked at the city and was killed for disobeying God.

You should begin to notice the beginning of a pattern developing here....

#3: "Hating ugly people".  No, the reason why God had that law was this:  God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.

#4: Trying to kill Moses?  Yes, God does not show favoritism- God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!

#5: Genocide?  God told the people of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of every nation they invaded- and he told them if any survived, they would "be a thorn in your side for eternity".  By disobeying God 4500 years ago you STILL have war in the middle east!  Just look at Syria!  Egypt! As a few examples!

#6: Abraham killing his own Son?  No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

#7:  Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

#8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.

#9:  Sampson certainly had some problems- and God certainly used him as an "Agent Provocateur"- like burning the neighbors farms with torches tied to fox's tails.  Sampson also wasn't very bright- longer his hair, more powerful he became.

In the end, Sampson had lost his sight, his strength had come back, and his last living request was to suicide- and he did it by pulling down the support beams of the temple he was tied up in.  He killed 3,000 philistines and whats really cool?  They found this temple about 20 years ago complete with the bodies under the rubble exactly how the bible had described it.

#10: Now, why do you think God intentionally crippled Jacob in a wrestling match for life?  If you read how Jacob was a thief, a con artist, what you're really seeing is God intentionally crippling a life long bad guy so he couldn't be a bad guy anymore- what you're reading about is God's justice!!

Think on that.  Now compare that to our current legal system

You can study the last two on your own.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 03:10:30 PM
You guys are blasphemers!  Now go out there an dish up some unconditional love for the angry, vengeful, retaliatory guy upstairs.  Oh and have faith that he won't banish you to hell for all eternity on a whim.
 
2014-02-14 03:42:41 PM

Trailltrader: He killed 3,000 philistines and whats really cool?

 They found this temple about 20 years ago complete with the bodies under the rubble exactly how the bible had described it.

Except the excavated Temple of Dagon at Tell Qasile could only hold about 30-35 people, tops, and it was north of Tel Aviz, not in Gaza where the Sampson story takes place, and they didn't find bodies. The temple at Gath that was excavated likewise could only hold about the same number of people and once again no bodies. The destruction of both of those have been linked to an earthquake. Ashkelon could conceivably be construed as part of Gaza way way back when, but it doesn't work either, because it wasn't a temple to Dagon. Never mind the fact that the central pillars are 8 feet apart so pushing against them would require Sampson to be a giant.

The only actual archeological evidence surrounding the Sampson story is a small carving found depicting a man with long hair fighting a lion, without context of any sort that dates to the 11th century BC, near Jerusalem.
 
2014-02-14 03:48:01 PM

Trailltrader: God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.


Then f*ck him.
 
2014-02-14 04:27:13 PM
Meh. Pagan. Don't care.
 
2014-02-14 04:29:31 PM

Trailltrader: God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.


You mean the people He made that way?

Yeah, dick move. Fu*k that guy.

Everything else you said is bullsh*t, too. It all boils down to "God is a dick because he can be, and that's great!" Fu*k him and fu*k you for being okay with it.
 
2014-02-14 04:30:58 PM
"Hey God, here's a blind baby."

"GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!"

I just don't think that God has that much in common with Leona Helmsley.
 
2014-02-14 04:33:28 PM
 Yet this didn't stop God from trying to kill Moses when he ran into him at "a lodging place."  whorehouse.There is literally no explanation given in the Bible for God's decision to murder one of his chief supporters. The line is "At a lodging place whorehouse on the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him."

It makes perfect sense if you get a little creative.
 
2014-02-14 04:33:42 PM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!


Not sure if serious.
 
2014-02-14 04:34:18 PM

naughtyrev: Except


I... I think someone just got told.

Not that it will make a difference.
 
2014-02-14 04:37:08 PM
If Farkers/Farkettes excercise every time one of these threads came up. . .
 
2014-02-14 04:40:00 PM
Come on, who could hate her?

www.cheapticketsmonster.com
 
2014-02-14 04:46:06 PM

Trailltrader: #8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.


www.thebricktestament.com


The Brick Testament illustrates it best.
 
2014-02-14 05:27:50 PM
www.godsboard.com
 
2014-02-14 05:29:06 PM
I like old testament Gawd. He is about what Id be like if I got his powers for a day or something.
 
2014-02-14 05:29:47 PM
Methodist + voodoo is the only way to go.
 
2014-02-14 05:29:49 PM
What did he ever do to you schlubby?

api.ning.com
 
2014-02-14 05:30:27 PM
Another Ted Cruz thread?
 
2014-02-14 05:36:02 PM

markie_farkie: It's like Earth is some Sadist version of The Sims..


FTFY
 
2014-02-14 05:36:31 PM
I did all of that yesterday.
 
2014-02-14 05:40:59 PM

Trailltrader: ...


Heh.

You realize that you've done the literary equivalent of tearing apart a harsh critique of the flaws of Alice Liddell or Captain Ahab?
 
2014-02-14 05:41:25 PM
I had no idea about the bears thing. That just made my Valentine's Day magical.
 
2014-02-14 05:44:49 PM
No wonder fundies are so dangerous and mental.

wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-02-14 05:44:54 PM
"They wanted to rape angels."

Hosannas in extremis.
 
2014-02-14 05:45:43 PM
static2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-14 05:45:59 PM
I love Old Testament God, who seems more in line with what I'd expect from such a being. He's not all love, love, love all the time, he's prone to getting pissed off at his pets, much the way you yell at your dog and make it cower in fear when it shiats on the rug. I also like to think God has a good sense of humor, just on a much vaster scale. He's obviously been trolling us for more than 2000 years.

It's like when you make your cat chase the laser pointer. "Hey, Michael, I bet I can make these dopes throw themselves into the river. Watch!"
 
2014-02-14 05:47:09 PM
The stupid shiat "god" does in the Old Testament is one big reason I'm not Christian.

If you step outside our cultural position of assuming Yahweh/Jehovah as good, and look at it, the deity of the Israelites is actually pretty sadistic, arbitrary, capricious and downright evil.

The whole killing the Egyptian babies thing is where I just completely gave up.  Christians lose their shiat at abortion, saying it's killing babies. . .but they have no problem with their own deity killing every firstborn of an entire generation of Egyptians.

Oh, and Job too.  They have a nice list of 12, but #7 and #12 were always the deal breakers for me.  The great flood really bothered me too.

Sorry, the god of Abraham is an evil, sadistic farker, a backwater tribal patron deity who managed to, through good PR and amazing luck, get mistaken by a couple billion people as being the only god in existence.  I can't imagine anybody who reads that would WANT to worship him.

I'd rather worship Odin, or Athena, personally.
 
2014-02-14 05:47:54 PM
Meh.  Been done a brazilian times.  Do an article on why Allah is an asshole, and Mohammed was a warlord pedophile using excerpts from the Quran, and I  might think you are open-minded and edgy.
 
2014-02-14 05:48:17 PM
Oldie but a goody

i58.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-14 05:48:42 PM
img4.joyreactor.com
 
2014-02-14 05:49:33 PM

Trailltrader: [excuses]


This has to be the work of a Poe. No one could be this delusional.
 
2014-02-14 05:50:54 PM
But he loves us, right?
 
2014-02-14 05:52:32 PM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

#1: Eliseus was a prophet of God.  Think on that for a moment.  His job is to represent God in physical form on this plane of existence.If Eliseus didn't kill those children then it would give the appearance that God wasn't God.

See, its double standards like this- First he's God, then he's not God- that atheists and non-believers are hypocritical about.

#2: Turning Lots wife into salt.  Why did he do it?  Lots wife was punished by being turned into a pillar of salt for direct disobedience- she turned around, looked at the city and was killed for disobeying God.

You should begin to notice the beginning of a pattern developing here....

#3: "Hating ugly people".  No, the reason why God had that law was this:  God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.

#4: Trying to kill Moses?  Yes, God does not show favoritism- God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!

#5: Genocide?  God told the people of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of every nation they invaded- and he told them if any survived, they would "be a thorn in your side for eternity".  By disobeying God 4500 years ago you STILL have war in the middle east!  Just look at Syria!  Egypt! As a few examples!

#6: Abraham killing his own Son?  No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

#7:  Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

#8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.

#9:  Sampson certainly had some problems- and God certainly used him as an "Agent Provocateur"- like burning the neighbors farms with torches tied to fox's tails.  Sampson also wasn't very bright- longer his hair, more powerful he became.

In the end, Sampson had lost his sight, his strength had come back, and his last living request was to suicide- and he did it by pulling down the support beams of the temple he was tied up in.  He killed 3,000 philistines and whats really cool?  They found this temple about 20 years ago complete with the bodies under the rubble exactly how the bible had described it.

#10: Now, why do you think God intentionally crippled Jacob in a wrestling match for life?  If you read how Jacob was a thief, a con artist, what you're really seeing is God intentionally crippling a life long bad guy so he couldn't be a bad guy anymore- what you're reading about is God's justice!!

Think on that.  Now compare that to our current legal system

You can study the last two on your own.


Honestly can't tell if you're trolling.
 
2014-02-14 05:52:53 PM

ElLoco: Trailltrader: ...

Heh.

You realize that you've done the literary equivalent of tearing apart a harsh critique of the flaws of Alice Liddell or Captain Ahab?


Alice was real. Her adventures weren't. But she was real.
 
2014-02-14 05:52:58 PM
Interesting? Is the Obvious tag in purgatory?

/God sent himself to earth in order to sacrifice himself as his own son in order to absolve you of sins that he determined in order to save you from going to the hell that he created to punish people who aren't saved by him
//rrrrrriiiiiiiiight...
 
2014-02-14 05:53:51 PM

meat0918: markie_farkie: It's like Earth is some Sadist version of The Sims..

FTFY


ecogamer.site88.net
 
2014-02-14 05:54:19 PM
www.happletea.com
 
2014-02-14 05:58:20 PM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

#1: Eliseus was a prophet of God.  Think on that for a moment.  His job is to represent God in physical form on this plane of existence.If Eliseus didn't kill those children then it would give the appearance that God wasn't God.

See, its double standards like this- First he's God, then he's not God- that atheists and non-believers are hypocritical about.

#2: Turning Lots wife into salt.  Why did he do it?  Lots wife was punished by being turned into a pillar of salt for direct disobedience- she turned around, looked at the city and was killed for disobeying God.

You should begin to notice the beginning of a pattern developing here....

#3: "Hating ugly people".  No, the reason why God had that law was this:  God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.

#4: Trying to kill Moses?  Yes, God does not show favoritism- God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!

#5: Genocide?  God told the people of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of every nation they invaded- and he told them if any survived, they would "be a thorn in your side for eternity".  By disobeying God 4500 years ago you STILL have war in the middle east!  Just look at Syria!  Egypt! As a few examples!

#6: Abraham killing his own Son?  No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

#7:  Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

#8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.

#9:  Sampson certainly had some problems- and God certainly used him as an "Agent Provocateur"- like burning the neighbors farms with torches tied to fox's tails.  Sampson also wasn't very bright- lon ...


Study it out people!
 
2014-02-14 06:04:28 PM

naughtyrev: I always loved the killing kids with bears story and the random gonna kill Moses story. I like to think that the bears story was really just some bald guy who was copying an early Torah and people made fun of him so he included his own fantasy of what he'd like to happen.


One of the guys I work with is a pastor, and his comm entary on that is the english translation kind of screws it up, he says these were young punks making threats, not kids taunting a bald guy


Since I don't read hebrew, I'll wait to see if someone who does has a comment on that
 
2014-02-14 06:05:17 PM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-14 06:06:26 PM

Trailltrader: #3: "Hating ugly people". No, the reason why God had that law was this: God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.


But...aren't we created in Gods image?  Surely the Lord God made them <i>all</i>, even the ugly ones?
And now He turns around and hates them?

Just face it...either God's a dick, or He's way too busy running the Universe and sometimes slips up.  No need to apologise, though, because He's GOD!
 
2014-02-14 06:07:48 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 06:09:01 PM
The stupid thing is that the author of that stupid webpage is thinking like an idiot human.

When God kills a righteous person, he's just inviting them into his home.  That's it.  It's no tragedy.  Many of you are just too stupid to realize that this pathetic life you cling to is meaningless in the grand scheme of existence.
 
2014-02-14 06:11:10 PM
Well, now you've just pissed Him off.
 
2014-02-14 06:11:32 PM
I'll give you this. I won't say there is no GOD.

I'll just say I don't think the picture and stories as espoused by GOD, Inc. is completely true.
 
2014-02-14 06:11:35 PM

TOSViolation: The stupid thing is that the author of that stupid webpage is thinking like an idiot human.

When God kills a righteous person, he's just inviting them into his home.  That's it.  It's no tragedy.  Many of you are just too stupid to realize that this pathetic life you cling to is meaningless in the grand scheme of existence.


Yet you're still here.
 
2014-02-14 06:13:00 PM

naughtyrev: Trailltrader: He killed 3,000 philistines and whats really cool? They found this temple about 20 years ago complete with the bodies under the rubble exactly how the bible had described it.

Except the excavated Temple of Dagon at Tell Qasile could only hold about 30-35 people, tops, and it was north of Tel Aviz, not in Gaza where the Sampson story takes place, and they didn't find bodies. The temple at Gath that was excavated likewise could only hold about the same number of people and once again no bodies. The destruction of both of those have been linked to an earthquake. Ashkelon could conceivably be construed as part of Gaza way way back when, but it doesn't work either, because it wasn't a temple to Dagon. Never mind the fact that the central pillars are 8 feet apart so pushing against them would require Sampson to be a giant.

The only actual archeological evidence surrounding the Sampson story is a small carving found depicting a man with long hair fighting a lion, without context of any sort that dates to the 11th century BC, near Jerusalem.


+1 subby

22 posts in, couldn't decide who to reply to.
calamity or Blues_X or naughtyrev (had to look up the bears story, had forgotten). But which post? FlashHarry? Impaler? markie_farkie? NFA? Lsherm?
I agree with you all

But you, sir(?), challenged me. I had forgotten the bears story and had to look it up. And your knowledge of antiquities is breathtaking.

Was raised Catholic back when mass was still in Latin, the message still the fire and brimstone of the Old Testament. I heard the joy coming out of a black Baptist church when I was 4 or 5. I drove my mother crazy constantly asking "But WHY can't we go to THAT church? THEIR God LIKES them!!!"

Believe in God, but damn, was turned off organized religion for years. I have gone to church occaisionally/at times consistantly in the last 15 or so years. But at Lutheran or Presby churches. It does make me a better person...I'm a kind and decent by most accounts, but many church people jump to help when needed, leading by example. I don't know how I could have survived, literally, without them a time or two.
 
2014-02-14 06:13:04 PM

loonatic112358: naughtyrev: I always loved the killing kids with bears story and the random gonna kill Moses story. I like to think that the bears story was really just some bald guy who was copying an early Torah and people made fun of him so he included his own fantasy of what he'd like to happen.

One of the guys I work with is a pastor, and his comm entary on that is the english translation kind of screws it up, he says these were young punks making threats, not kids taunting a bald guy


Since I don't read hebrew, I'll wait to see if someone who does has a comment on that


Well, in that case they totally deserved to get ripped up by bears.
 
2014-02-14 06:15:20 PM
*on mobile...sorry, don't know how or if it's possible to bold your names.
 
2014-02-14 06:15:35 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-14 06:16:21 PM

Hollie Maea: loonatic112358: naughtyrev: I always loved the killing kids with bears story and the random gonna kill Moses story. I like to think that the bears story was really just some bald guy who was copying an early Torah and people made fun of him so he included his own fantasy of what he'd like to happen.

One of the guys I work with is a pastor, and his comm entary on that is the english translation kind of screws it up, he says these were young punks making threats, not kids taunting a bald guy


Since I don't read hebrew, I'll wait to see if someone who does has a comment on that

Well, in that case they totally deserved to get ripped up by bears.


I think you guys are missing the point, though.  I mean, the farking BEAST MASTER shows up in the bible, summons bears to mess up some punks day, and we're worrying about if he was bald or not.  

Beast Master, guys...
 
2014-02-14 06:17:50 PM
i36.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 06:18:01 PM
Ezekiel 5:10: the demon Jehovah sentences some idolaters to "eat their children;" more degenerately still, for their "children to eat their parents."

To Jehovah's apologists:

Let's think about that. Daddy makes little Sophie, six years old, bow down in front of a carved figurine to worship it. Little Sophie obeys.

Jehovah's massive ego takes a hit. That's the sole harm here--a blow to Jehovah's self-image. Nobody got hurt. Nothing was stolen. Heck, nobody even (gasp!) had sex.

So Jehovah makes Little Sophie eat her own daddy.

Let's say as a loyal Jehovah religionist, Jehovah honors you by picking you to deliver Sophie her dinner. You grab up one steaming hot plate of Jehovah's justice in the form of "daddy au fromage."

You walk into Sophie's little hut. You find her kneeling on the bare dirt floor, her empty blue eyes lost in the dying embers of a scullery fire the last one of the Lord's servants built when he came to deliver Sophie her dinner.

She somehow lucked into a small shred of very rare, precious purple ribbon. She's used it to tie her dark hair back into a pony tail. Other than that, she's a picture of poverty.

She's an orphan now, can't take care of herself. She's rail thin, having put off eating daddy for as long as she possibly could.

But now, she's starved and trembling. She can't hold out any longer. Jehovah knows it. You know it. She knows it.

You smile warmly at her. Why shouldn't you? You're just doing Jehovah's will. Surely she'll appreciate that.

"Why?" she bleats pathetically, her dust covered face streaked with little dry riverbeds of the tears she can no longer muster for having cried so long.

Can you even imagine? This little hussy can't even show basic gratitude to one of the Lord's servants doing his will.

For reasons unknown to you, you bite back your impulse to scold her for this affront. It's your conscience, of course. But having worshiped Jehovah for so long, rationalizing away so many of his atrocities, you've lost most conscious awareness of it.

"Why?" she pleads again.

She understands Jehovah is mad at her for bowing to a carved figurine. But she just can't figure out WHY he's so mad. She didn't hurt anyone! She just pretended a silly chunk of wood was magical!

Her little hands shaking, she takes the plate from you. Her stomach in knots, she takes a piece of wood and shoves the meat around a little, trying to muster the will to take a bite, putting off the inevitable for just a few more moments.

Now.

Explain it to her. Explain Jehovah's "justice" to her in a way that makes sense. Help her feel Jehovah's "love" for her with every morsel of her dinner.
 
2014-02-14 06:18:03 PM
JerkStore: I love Old Testament God, who seems more in line with what I'd expect from such a being. He's not all love, love, love all the time, he's prone to getting pissed off at his pets, much the way you yell at your dog and make it cower in fear when it shiats on the rug. I also like to think God has a good sense of humor, just on a much vaster scale. He's obviously been trolling us for more than 2000 years.

It's like when you make your cat chase the laser pointer. "Hey, Michael, I bet I can make these dopes throw themselves into the river. Watch!"


Well stated
 
2014-02-14 06:18:44 PM

Mugato: Come on, who could hate her?


You asked for it, dude

www.usmagazine.com
 
2014-02-14 06:18:50 PM
 
2014-02-14 06:21:56 PM

Brainsick: Interesting? Is the Obvious tag in purgatory?

/God sent himself to earth in order to sacrifice himself as his own son in order to absolve you of sins that he determined in order to save you from going to the hell that he created to punish people who aren't saved by him
//rrrrrriiiiiiiiight...


But the tag was a great red-herring :-)
 
2014-02-14 06:22:19 PM
i thought he worked those 6 days and took off the rest of forever...
 
2014-02-14 06:27:57 PM
Uncomfortable question for Christians # 7,633,011.

Jesus says in John that he's being crucified to "eject the prince of this world." That passage is widely interpreted to refer to Satan.

Paul states that the evil "god of this world" has blinded people to the truth. Also widely read to refer to Satan.

So when did Jehovah hand over the keys?

Throughout the Old Testament, Jehovah is pretty clearly the "god of this world." At no point does it mention Jehovah handing the world over to Satan.

So when and why did it happen? Did Satan successfully oust Jehovah? Did Jehovah just decide he was going to be a d*ck (an eminently plausible motive given his overall character)?

Or does the evil god of this world Jesus died to eject refer to Jehovah Elohim?

You fear a devil able to deceive the whole world.

What if that devil is really named "Jehovah?"
 
2014-02-14 06:31:08 PM

Shadowknight: Hollie Maea: loonatic112358: naughtyrev: I always loved the killing kids with bears story and the random gonna kill Moses story. I like to think that the bears story was really just some bald guy who was copying an early Torah and people made fun of him so he included his own fantasy of what he'd like to happen.

One of the guys I work with is a pastor, and his comm entary on that is the english translation kind of screws it up, he says these were young punks making threats, not kids taunting a bald guy


Since I don't read hebrew, I'll wait to see if someone who does has a comment on that

Well, in that case they totally deserved to get ripped up by bears.

I think you guys are missing the point, though.  I mean, the farking BEAST MASTER shows up in the bible, summons bears to mess up some punks day, and we're worrying about if he was bald or not.  

Beast Master, guys...


Ahhhahahahahaha!!

Oh crap, I'm dyin' laughing reading this thread.
 
2014-02-14 06:43:24 PM

lindalouwho: *on mobile...sorry, don't know how or if it's possible to bold your names.


Ya gotta use HTML. As a shortcut, if you type in the deprecated b or i tags, Fark automatically converts them to strong or em.
 
2014-02-14 06:47:48 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: Meh.  Been done a brazilian times.  Do an article on why Allah is an asshole, and Mohammed was a warlord pedophile using excerpts from the Quran, and I  might think you are open-minded and edgy.


This.
 
2014-02-14 06:48:03 PM

Rivetman1.0: Mugato: Come on, who could hate her?

You asked for it, dude

[www.usmagazine.com image 850x1248]


How ironic.
 
2014-02-14 06:49:21 PM
God gives man freewill and and then punishes him for using it, can't get more assholeish then that.
 
2014-02-14 06:52:14 PM

Baz744: Her little hands shaking, she takes the plate from you. Her stomach in knots, she takes a piece of wood and shoves the meat around a little, trying to muster the will to take a bite, putting off the inevitable for just a few more moments.

Now.

Explain it to her. Explain Jehovah's "justice" to her in a way that makes sense. Help her feel Jehovah's "love" for her with every morsel of her dinner.


<fap, fap, fap>
Go on....
 
2014-02-14 06:53:39 PM
And the LORD God commanded the man, "You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die."

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 06:57:18 PM

Rivetman1.0: You asked for it, dude


I'd still do her from the bikini top line up.
 
2014-02-14 06:59:41 PM

TOSViolation: When God kills a righteous person, he's just inviting them into his home.  That's it.  It's no tragedy.  Many of you are just too stupid to realize that this pathetic life you cling to is meaningless in the grand scheme of existenc


And all those people who he loves and loves him and depend on him, fark them?
 
2014-02-14 07:05:36 PM
This is always fun to mess with fundamentalists about. The Old Testament reads like a bad D&D session with the author godmoding (see what I did there?) for everything.

You mocked my God? He murders your whole village!
You disobeyed the rules? God murders your family!
You didn't get that chick preggers? God KILLS you!

Plus, the guy was HUGE about taking credit and bragging about it. He talked to prophets all the time, sent messages, and made it known supposedly that he was it.

Fast forward to today, God... um, yeah. They claim he causes bad weather because he's pissed, but also lights giant Jesus on fire too.

Sorry, guys, the fear of your impotent, invisible, make-believe sky wizard gets hard to maintain.
 
2014-02-14 07:08:04 PM
God put two naked people in a garden so he could watch them.
He kicked them out when they started wanting some clothes.

That's not just pervy, that's scumbag pervy.
 
2014-02-14 07:08:38 PM
That was exactly the article I needed to read on a slow work-Friday afternoon before a three-day weekend. That's a big thanks to subby.
 
2014-02-14 07:08:57 PM
Well... that's the last time I'll click on a iO9 link.

Good job Fark... good job.
 
2014-02-14 07:11:19 PM
So, Old Testament god is essentially the biatchy popular girl from high school, but with the power to destroy anything and everything on a whim. God is an omnipotent Heather. I think I'll stick to science fiction.
 
2014-02-14 07:13:24 PM
AND He demands a starship as well.

img.4plebs.org
 
2014-02-14 07:20:17 PM

cyberspacedout: lindalouwho: *on mobile...sorry, don't know how or if it's possible to bold your names.

Ya gotta use HTML. As a shortcut, if you type in the deprecated b or i tags, Fark automatically converts them to strong or em.


Thanks, I'll see if I can manage it lol.

I haven't been able to find the sideways v on my lame keyboard. Like the dollar sign, among others. Have accidently gotten other "hidden" symbols but don't know how. If I fail with your tips I still know some people from a gig at CMU I'll go see. Can learn to post pics too instead of being frustrated.
 
2014-02-14 07:20:42 PM

BATMANATEE: So, Old Testament god is essentially the biatchy popular girl from high school, but with the power to destroy anything and everything on a whim. God is an omnipotent Heather. I think I'll stick to science fiction.


To me, God sounds more like a belligerent, alcoholic father. In fact, the whole Old Testament makes more sense if you think of God wearing a stained wife-beater and holding a bottle of PGA
 
2014-02-14 07:24:09 PM
Forgot the last two:

Didn't make DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks tall enough

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks not rich enough
 
2014-02-14 07:26:09 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: Meh.  Been done a brazilian times.  Do an article on why Allah is an asshole, and Mohammed was a warlord pedophile using excerpts from the Quran, and I  might think you are open-minded and edgy.


This is fun for me because I'm new to commenting, but that's a great idea.

You should do it ;-)
 
2014-02-14 07:28:44 PM

BATMANATEE: So, Old Testament god is essentially the biatchy popular girl from high school, but with the power to destroy anything and everything on a whim. God is an omnipotent Heather. I think I'll stick to science fiction.


Well even though everything we know about science says that the universe is trillions of years old, God had a major change of heart within 2,000 years and is now less of a dick. To us on Earth anyway.
 
2014-02-14 07:29:37 PM

naughtyrev: Trailltrader: He killed 3,000 philistines and whats really cool? They found this temple about 20 years ago complete with the bodies under the rubble exactly how the bible had described it.

Except the excavated Temple of Dagon at Tell Qasile could only hold about 30-35 people, tops, and it was north of Tel Aviz, not in Gaza where the Sampson story takes place, and they didn't find bodies. The temple at Gath that was excavated likewise could only hold about the same number of people and once again no bodies. The destruction of both of those have been linked to an earthquake. Ashkelon could conceivably be construed as part of Gaza way way back when, but it doesn't work either, because it wasn't a temple to Dagon. Never mind the fact that the central pillars are 8 feet apart so pushing against them would require Sampson to be a giant.

The only actual archeological evidence surrounding the Sampson story is a small carving found depicting a man with long hair fighting a lion, without context of any sort that dates to the 11th century BC, near Jerusalem.


Long hair and a lion could mean anything. That does fit some of the proto-Herakles that appeared around Cyprus and Phoenicia.
 
2014-02-14 07:33:24 PM

magicgoo: I had no idea about the bears thing. That just made my Valentine's Day magical.


Yes, and according to the KJV, they were female bears.
 
2014-02-14 07:34:55 PM

rebelyell2006: naughtyrev: Trailltrader: He killed 3,000 philistines and whats really cool? They found this temple about 20 years ago complete with the bodies under the rubble exactly how the bible had described it.

Except the excavated Temple of Dagon at Tell Qasile could only hold about 30-35 people, tops, and it was north of Tel Aviz, not in Gaza where the Sampson story takes place, and they didn't find bodies. The temple at Gath that was excavated likewise could only hold about the same number of people and once again no bodies. The destruction of both of those have been linked to an earthquake. Ashkelon could conceivably be construed as part of Gaza way way back when, but it doesn't work either, because it wasn't a temple to Dagon. Never mind the fact that the central pillars are 8 feet apart so pushing against them would require Sampson to be a giant.

The only actual archeological evidence surrounding the Sampson story is a small carving found depicting a man with long hair fighting a lion, without context of any sort that dates to the 11th century BC, near Jerusalem.

Long hair and a lion could mean anything. That does fit some of the proto-Herakles that appeared around Cyprus and Phoenicia.


That's why I said without any context. I'm sure a man fighting a lion would be a common tale to be told in a time when it was a very real possibility to get killed by one. Killing one with your bare hands would make an even better tale and would certainly be legendary. There's no actual evidence the carving I referred to is specifically even referring to the Sampson legend, only that it fits his tale, the time and the geographic region.
 
2014-02-14 07:38:15 PM
Please ignore, phone (l)user testing/ learning
bold
italics
 
2014-02-14 07:48:25 PM

The_Philosopher_King: [img.fark.net image 500x342]


The best part about this is that he wasn't even talking about Judaism, he was talking about Greece's variant of the one-god religion (a splinter Dionysian cult, iirc, though not 100% on that).

It just happens to apply to any variant of monotheism.

// Well, any variant of monotheism that actually has any rules, I guess you could make a religion where there is a god, but he's off somewhere else and doesn't care about the religion... it'd just be kinda pointless.
 
2014-02-14 07:51:19 PM

Weaver95: Meh. Pagan. Don't care.


We know.  You make sure and tell us that in practically every thread your in.  You've replaced delusions.  Have a cookie.
 
2014-02-14 07:52:32 PM

Candy Colored Clown: Weaver95: Meh. Pagan. Don't care.

We know.  You make sure and tell us that in practically every thread your in.  You've replaced delusions.  Have a cookie.


*You're

/slinks away
 
2014-02-14 07:56:22 PM
You do not need to go into all the vicious, nasty crap that's in the bible to see how much of a dick god is.

All you need to do is look at hell.

Civilized people believe that punishment should fit the crime. Minor crime, minor punishment.
Civilized people believe that torture is immoral.
Civilized people believe that criminals should be able to pay their dues and possibly rehabilitate.

God doesn't believe in any of those things.

Any crime? Go to hell.
When do you get out? Never.
How are you treated? Eternal torture.
Any attempt at rehabilitation, parole, anything? Fark no! Eternal torture!!

But he loves you!!

More like he is a sadistic bastard who loves eternally torturing people.

The inventor of hell was truly a sadistic, sick bastard. This is your god.
 
2014-02-14 07:59:15 PM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

#1: Eliseus was a prophet of God.  Think on that for a moment.  His job is to represent God in physical form on this plane of existence.If Eliseus didn't kill those children then it would give the appearance that God wasn't God.

See, its double standards like this- First he's God, then he's not God- that atheists and non-believers are hypocritical about.

#2: Turning Lots wife into salt.  Why did he do it?  Lots wife was punished by being turned into a pillar of salt for direct disobedience- she turned around, looked at the city and was killed for disobeying God.

You should begin to notice the beginning of a pattern developing here....

#3: "Hating ugly people".  No, the reason why God had that law was this:  God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.

#4: Trying to kill Moses?  Yes, God does not show favoritism- God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!

#5: Genocide?  God told the people of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of every nation they invaded- and he told them if any survived, they would "be a thorn in your side for eternity".  By disobeying God 4500 years ago you STILL have war in the middle east!  Just look at Syria!  Egypt! As a few examples!

#6: Abraham killing his own Son?  No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

#7:  Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

#8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.

#9:  Sampson certainly had some problems- and God certainly used him as an "Agent Provocateur"- like burning the neighbors farms with torches tied to fox's tails.  Sampson also wasn't very bright- lon ...


You have a farked up religion bud.
 
2014-02-14 08:00:27 PM

Farking Canuck: You do not need to go into all the vicious, nasty crap that's in the bible to see how much of a dick god is.

All you need to do is look at hell.

Civilized people believe that punishment should fit the crime. Minor crime, minor punishment.
Civilized people believe that torture is immoral.
Civilized people believe that criminals should be able to pay their dues and possibly rehabilitate.

God doesn't believe in any of those things.

Any crime? Go to hell.
When do you get out? Never.
How are you treated? Eternal torture.
Any attempt at rehabilitation, parole, anything? Fark no! Eternal torture!!

But he loves you!!

More like he is a sadistic bastard who loves eternally torturing people.

The inventor of hell was truly a sadistic, sick bastard. This is your god.


Hell is only eternal torture compared to Heaven. It is in fact very much like Europe in the year 1200.
 
2014-02-14 08:01:29 PM

Trailltrader: #8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.


So, technically speaking, he died of a stroke.

/or two
 
2014-02-14 08:01:57 PM
I have found that it is possible to put a huge speed bump out there without getting much further along than the chapters of Genesis immediately following the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.

God made Adam and Eve. Adam and EVE eat from one of Two forbidden trees. Adam and Eve get served an eviction notice.
Adam and Eve go forth to toil in the fields.
Have 2 sons Cain and Able.

Adam+Eve+Cain+Able= Four people in the whole of Creation.

But when the time comes, Cain and Able go trotting off to NOD to acquire wives?

Where is Nod and who created it? Another Deity? God in the Bible doesn't mention any side projects.
1st Commandment says "...no other gods before Me." Doesn't say anything about alongside or behind. Maybe a AA Class Deity, working his/her way up to the major league.

Personal belief: that there probably is a Creator/Deity of some type out there. Just not how the Bible and the various churches portray Him/Her.
Fine, with me. God in what ever form taken and I get along great. Have absolutely No use for organized religions.
They seem to have subtracted God from the mix somehow.
 
2014-02-14 08:28:05 PM
" God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult. "

Congratulations.  The above 14 words are the most succinct explanation of everything that is wrong with religion ever written.

Thanks for sharing.
 
2014-02-14 08:44:39 PM
Threads like this make me wonder if there are people who white knight other fictional characters to this extent.  Like, are there people who defend everything Joffrey does in the Game of Thrones series?  Or that believe it's real (like guys, they TOTALLY just found a beheaded skeleton in a castle in England, and we ALL know who that is!)
 
2014-02-14 08:53:51 PM

Candy Colored Clown: Weaver95: Meh. Pagan. Don't care.

We know.  You make sure and tell us that in practically every thread your in.  You've replaced delusions.  Have a cookie.



wtf is a pagan, anyway? I mean at least Christians have a misguided belief in some sort of  heaven.
 
2014-02-14 09:01:26 PM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

#1: Eliseus was a prophet of God.  Think on that for a moment.  His job is to represent God in physical form on this plane of existence.If Eliseus didn't kill those children then it would give the appearance that God wasn't God.

See, its double standards like this- First he's God, then he's not God- that atheists and non-believers are hypocritical about.

#2: Turning Lots wife into salt.  Why did he do it?  Lots wife was punished by being turned into a pillar of salt for direct disobedience- she turned around, looked at the city and was killed for disobeying God.

You should begin to notice the beginning of a pattern developing here....

#3: "Hating ugly people".  No, the reason why God had that law was this:  God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.

#4: Trying to kill Moses?  Yes, God does not show favoritism- God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!

#5: Genocide?  God told the people of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of every nation they invaded- and he told them if any survived, they would "be a thorn in your side for eternity".  By disobeying God 4500 years ago you STILL have war in the middle east!  Just look at Syria!  Egypt! As a few examples!

#6: Abraham killing his own Son?  No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

#7:  Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

#8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.

#9:  Sampson certainly had some problems- and God certainly used him as an "Agent Provocateur"- like burning the neighbors farms with torches tied to fox's tails.  Sampson also wasn't very bright- lon ...


As much as I can appreciate someone having a deeper understanding of the Bible than the morons over at io9.com, I think trying to explain it here is a fine example of "pearls before swine"
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 09:12:13 PM

NFA: You guys are blasphemers!  Now go out there an dish up some unconditional love for the angry, vengeful, retaliatory guy upstairs.  Oh and have faith that he won't banish you to hell for all eternity on a whim.


Pffffft. Divorced after 22 years, hell would be like Club Med.
 
2014-02-14 09:14:54 PM
i204.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 09:17:31 PM

Rivetman1.0: Mugato: Come on, who could hate her?

You asked for it, dude

[www.usmagazine.com image 850x1248]


I still find her cute no matter what you show me.
 
2014-02-14 09:32:12 PM

mjjt: Oldie but a goody

[i58.tinypic.com image 658x353]


Who did Satan kill?
 
2014-02-14 09:32:31 PM
When I was little, and my granny would call us, and we kept running around, and when we fell, she'd say "see God punishes you". When we got older, and we said God punished us, she'd say "od doesn't punish you, he forgives and loves you". Well, we came to the conclusion God is a dick. Still do, to this day.
 
2014-02-14 09:33:38 PM

cnocnanrionnag: " God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult. "

Congratulations.  The above 14 words are the most succinct explanation of everything that is wrong with religion ever written.



Remember: God loves you unconditionally. But don't go near him if you have a limp ... he finds that repulsive. But he loves you. Unless you do something wrong then it's eternal torture.

Of course he still loves you even then. He peeks in on you every 1,000,000,000 centuries or so, gives you a big smile and says "You're doing great! Only infinite more years to go!!".
 
2014-02-14 09:34:38 PM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

#1: Eliseus was a prophet of God.  Think on that for a moment.  His job is to represent God in physical form on this plane of existence.If Eliseus didn't kill those children then it would give the appearance that God wasn't God.


I guess it's impossible to prove you'red God without killing people.

See, its double standards like this- First he's God, then he's not God- that atheists and non-believers are hypocritical about.

#2: Turning Lots wife into salt.  Why did he do it?  Lots wife was punished by being turned into a pillar of salt for direct disobedience- she turned around, looked at the city and was killed for disobeying God.

He confused Lot's wife with Hitler, a common mistake among time travelers.

You should begin to notice the beginning of a pattern developing here....

#3: "Hating ugly people".  No, the reason why God had that law was this:  God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.

That one is still being a dick, per se.


#4: Trying to kill Moses?  Yes, God does not show favoritism- God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!

They'd lock anyone else who expressed such a fixation about children's genitals.

#5: Genocide?  God told the people of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of every nation they invaded- and he told them if any survived, they would "be a thorn in your side for eternity".  By disobeying God 4500 years ago you STILL have war in the middle east!  Just look at Syria!  Egypt! As a few examples!

It was white Europeans that caused the Jews the most grief.


#6: Abraham killing his own Son?  No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

An  omniscient god doesn't have to test, it already knows, and a slap in the fact to Abe.

#7:  Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

Everyone knows that killing innocent children and animals is the best way to pay back.
 
2014-02-14 09:36:50 PM

Rivetman1.0: Mugato: Come on, who could hate her?

You asked for it, dude

[www.usmagazine.com image 850x1248]


Isn't that ironic!
 
2014-02-14 09:36:51 PM
Mark Twain wrote (paraphrasing from memory):  If a father in our day and age (ca.1900) treated his children the way God treated his, he would be thrown into prison for a very long time.
 
2014-02-14 09:46:46 PM

JoJay: Mark Twain Rand Paul wrote (paraphrasing from memory):  If a father in our day and age (ca.1900) treated his children the way God treated his, he would be thrown into prison for a very long time.


ftfy
 
2014-02-14 09:55:22 PM
The NT is no less dickish.Apostles killed a guy for not joining them in Acts, and begrudged some other dude for taking too long to bury family members.
Paul pretty much did away with the Law in one fell swoop because it was inconvenient.
 
2014-02-14 09:55:49 PM
For some reading about a spiritual tradition which doesn't ask you to close your eyes to Jehovah's evil, try here.

It doesn't just acknowledge Jehovah's evil; it incorporates it into its theology. It also acknowledges biological evolution; and asks what kind of a vicious creator would subject suffering creatures to it. It wonders of doctrines like "karma" why a benevolent creator would permit such a malevolent system, which has as its primary virtue the perpetuation of evil through infinity.

Buy it. Don't buy it. It makes for interesting reading if nothing more. Dr. Hoeller is erudite, level headed, interesting, and easy to read. If you're interested in Gnosticism, I would stay away from most of the other nutjobs calling themselves Gnostics these days. Start with Dr. Hoeller.

I've also enjoyed this blog, written by someone obviously familiar with ancient scripture and its historical context.
 
2014-02-14 09:56:32 PM
No one else thought the guy with long hair fighting a lion must be Tarzan?

New religion here folks!
 
2014-02-14 10:01:41 PM

Baz744: mjjt: Oldie but a goody

[i58.tinypic.com image 658x353]

Who did Satan kill?


To the Google!

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread602571/pg1
 
2014-02-14 10:03:35 PM

Rivetman1.0: Mugato: Come on, who could hate her?

You asked for it, dude

[www.usmagazine.com image 850x1248]


Outside of some really freaky hair, I'm not seeing the problem.
 
2014-02-14 10:10:33 PM

Candy Colored Clown: Candy Colored Clown: Weaver95: Meh. Pagan. Don't care.

We know.  You make sure and tell us that in practically every thread your in.  You've replaced delusions.  Have a cookie.

*You're

/slinks away


fail.
 
2014-02-14 10:13:08 PM
no one ever tells James Bond which way to go
 
2014-02-14 10:38:58 PM

Ed Grubermann: Trailltrader: [excuses]

This has to be the work of a Poe. No one could be this delusional.


Yes, they could.
And yes, there IS a pattern there.
Quick, what kind of person says "you will do whatever I say, no matter how strange or crazy, or I will definitely fark you up."
That's right. An asshole.
 
2014-02-14 10:42:10 PM

impaler: Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

Not sure if serious.


Your surprised that this ticked some people off?
Not sure if serious......
 
2014-02-14 10:49:17 PM

genner: impaler: Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

Not sure if serious.

Your surprised that this ticked some people off?
Not sure if serious......


The religious are idiots and they are holding humanity back and have been for thousands of years.  ET is laughing at our little rock while thinking about how his species was able to move past religion in a fraction of the time it will take humans to do it.  Most of you are part of the problem and I hope you drop dead before having children.
 
2014-02-14 10:51:03 PM

Ishidan: Ed Grubermann: Trailltrader: [excuses]

This has to be the work of a Poe. No one could be this delusional.

Yes, they could.
And yes, there IS a pattern there.
Quick, what kind of person says "you will do whatever I say, no matter how strange or crazy, or I will definitely fark you up."
That's right. An asshole.



Jeremiah 42:6

I mean, I'd say Jehovah has Judeo-Christendom deceived, but he really hasn't tried to cover any of this crap up. Jehovah religionists worship this bastard with their eyes wide open.
 
2014-02-14 10:54:32 PM

mjjt: Baz744: mjjt: Oldie but a goody

[i58.tinypic.com image 658x353]

Who did Satan kill?

To the Google!

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread602571/pg1


Thanks, btw.
 
2014-02-14 11:04:56 PM

SquiggsIN: genner: impaler: Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

Not sure if serious.

Your surprised that this ticked some people off?
Not sure if serious......

The religious are idiots and they are holding humanity back and have been for thousands of years.  ET is laughing at our little rock while thinking about how his species was able to move past religion in a fraction of the time it will take humans to do it.  Most of you are part of the problem and I hope you drop dead before having children.


You should get rid of us then. I mean it not like things went  poorly for every country in history that's tried that.
 
2014-02-14 11:10:59 PM

The_Philosopher_King: I'll give you this. I won't say there is no GOD.

I'll just say I don't think the picture and stories as espoused by GOD, Inc. is completely true.


That I can see.
 
2014-02-14 11:23:01 PM

Mugato: wtf is a pagan, anyway


A term used by christians to describe non-christian religious folk

sambluesnark: I have found that it is possible to put a huge speed bump out there without getting much further along than the chapters of Genesis immediately following the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.


I don't even get that far before the speed bump:
(NIV Genesis 3:22)
And theLord God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."


/yup, God is a dick
 
2014-02-14 11:31:34 PM
God, what a scam.
 
2014-02-15 12:08:41 AM

Baz744: mjjt: Baz744: mjjt: Oldie but a goody

[i58.tinypic.com image 658x353]

Who did Satan kill?

To the Google!

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread602571/pg1

Thanks, btw.


actually, until you asked, I hadn't thought to check the detail

10 people FFS
 
2014-02-15 12:18:43 AM
I would be a good god.  Better than that one for sure.
 
2014-02-15 12:30:36 AM

Brainsick: Mugato: wtf is a pagan, anyway

A term used by christians to describe non-christian religious folk

sambluesnark: I have found that it is possible to put a huge speed bump out there without getting much further along than the chapters of Genesis immediately following the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.

I don't even get that far before the speed bump:
(NIV Genesis 3:22)
And theLord God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."


/yup, God is a dick


I've thrown the "and God said let Us make man in OUR image" before but it doesn't seem to sink in. I ask who is God talking to? The usual answer is that He is talking to Himself in His Holy Trinity mode.

Also in regards to the Two trees. One is the Tree of Eternal Life, the other Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
So as you could appear to suggest, if Adam and Eve had eaten from The Tree of Life. We would be immortal gardener's for all eternity? Just not real bright.
 
2014-02-15 12:36:44 AM

red5ish: And the LORD God commanded the man, "You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die."



Don't they end up living for hundreds of years longer than normal after eating from the tree? They were probably going to die from exposure come winter time, but then all that knowledge they got allowed them to figure out how to survive.
 
2014-02-15 12:50:51 AM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: ThrobblefootSpectre: Meh.  Been done a brazilian times.  Do an article on why Allah is an asshole, and Mohammed was a warlord pedophile using excerpts from the Quran, and I  might think you are open-minded and edgy.

This.


You're some sort of moron. God is Muslim's Alah. Same guy.


Let me guess. You vote Republican? Seems like a consistent trait of ignorant morons.
 
2014-02-15 12:51:31 AM

Silverstaff: Sorry, the god of Abraham is an evil, sadistic farker, a backwater tribal patron deity who managed to, through good PR and amazing luck, get mistaken by a couple billion people as being the only god in existence. I can't imagine anybody who reads that would WANT to worship him.


Actually, one of the main reasons early Xianity spread so quickly through the Roman Empire was the fact that there were just too many damn gods that the average citizen had to pray to, donate money to, make sacrifices to, and just generally acknowledge the existence of in a given day.  Especially considering that a lot of the numerous Emperors were being deified after they died.  The gods were just piling up too fast for people to keep up.
 
2014-02-15 12:52:10 AM
Sampson...super-villain...filled with the spirit of god, which makes god a super-villain too:

14 And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines.
2And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.
3Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.
4But his father and his mother knew not that it was of the Lord, that he sought an occasion against the Philistines: for at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel.
5Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him.
6And the Spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand
: but he told not his father or his mother what he had done.
7And he went down, and talked with the woman; and she pleased Samson well.
8And after a time he returned to take her, and he turned aside to see the carcase of the lion: and, behold, there was a swarm of bees and honey in the carcase of the lion.
9And he took thereof in his hands, and went on eating, and came to his father and mother, and he gave them, and they did eat: but he told not them that he had taken the honey out of the carcase of the lion.
10So his father went down unto the woman: and Samson made there a feast; for so used the young men to do.
11And it came to pass, when they saw him, that they brought thirty companions to be with him.
12And Samson said unto them, I will now put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty sheets and thirty change of garments:
13But if ye cannot declare it me, then shall ye give me thirty sheets and thirty change of garments. And they said unto him, Put forth thy riddle, that we may hear it.
14And he said unto them, Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness. And they could not in three days expound the riddle.
15And it came to pass on the seventh day, that they said unto Samson's wife, Entice thy husband, that he may declare unto us the riddle, lest we burn thee and thy father's house with fire: have ye called us to take that we have? is it not so?
16And Samson's wife wept before him, and said, Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not: thou hast put forth a riddle unto the children of my people, and hast not told it me. And he said unto her, Behold, I have not told it my father nor my mother, and shall I tell it thee?
17And she wept before him the seven days, while their feast lasted: and it came to pass on the seventh day, that he told her, because she lay sore upon him: and she told the riddle to the children of her people.
18And the men of the city said unto him on the seventh day before the sun went down, What is sweeter than honey? And what is stronger than a lion? and he said unto them, If ye had not plowed with my heifer, ye had not found out my riddle.
19And the Spirit of the Lord came upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon, and slew thirty men of them, and took their spoil, and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the riddle. And his anger was kindled, and he went up to his father's house.


Also, lions are filled with bees and honey!

I never knew that.

Who's says the bible can't teach you things?
 
2014-02-15 12:54:09 AM

Jim_Callahan: The_Philosopher_King: [img.fark.net image 500x342]

The best part about this is that he wasn't even talking about Judaism, he was talking about Greece's variant of the one-god religion (a splinter Dionysian cult, iirc, though not 100% on that).

It just happens to apply to any variant of monotheism.

// Well, any variant of monotheism that actually has any rules, I guess you could make a religion where there is a god, but he's off somewhere else and doesn't care about the religion... it'd just be kinda pointless.


They're called deists.
 
2014-02-15 12:55:53 AM

ThrobblefootSpectre: Meh.  Been done a brazilian times.  Do an article on why Allah is an asshole, and Mohammed was a warlord pedophile using excerpts from the Quran, and I  might think you are open-minded and edgy.


Umm... do you know why they refer to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as "the Abrahamic religions?

impaler: You're some sort of moron. God is Muslim's Alah. Same guy.


Ah... good.  Glad to see I wasn't the first to catch this.
 
2014-02-15 12:59:50 AM

Unhip1: The NT is no less dickish.Apostles killed a guy for not joining them in Acts, and begrudged some other dude for taking too long to bury family members.
Paul pretty much did away with the Law in one fell swoop because it was inconvenient.


Let's not forget how God killed a man and his wife for not becoming communists.
 
2014-02-15 01:03:15 AM

genner: impaler: Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

Not sure if serious.

Your surprised that this ticked some people off?
Not sure if serious......


No, I'm not sure if serious if his lame ass apology for gods behavior is serious. Even in that apology, God still looks like a massive dick. But we're supposed to ignore that because he's the all loving God.
 
2014-02-15 01:05:09 AM

genner: SquiggsIN: genner: impaler: Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

Not sure if serious.

Your surprised that this ticked some people off?
Not sure if serious......

The religious are idiots and they are holding humanity back and have been for thousands of years.  ET is laughing at our little rock while thinking about how his species was able to move past religion in a fraction of the time it will take humans to do it.  Most of you are part of the problem and I hope you drop dead before having children.

You should get rid of us then. I mean it not like things went  poorly for every country in history that's tried that.


Hey moron, God commanded his people to do JUST THAT.

Still love your god?
 
2014-02-15 01:16:04 AM

Itstoearly: #6: Abraham killing his own Son? No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

#7: Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

#8: Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline. God killed him for coitus interruptus. 'Nuff said.

#9: Sampson certainly had some problems- and God certainly used him as an "Agent Provocateur"- like burning the neighbors farms with torches tied to fox's tails. Sampson also wasn't very bright- lon ...

As much as I can appreciate someone having a deeper understanding of the Bible than the morons over at io9.com, I think trying to explain it here is a fine example of "pearls before swine"



If by explain it you mean provide his own personal rationalizations (just like all other christian people), then I'd say we pretty much already understood that's what he was doing.
 
2014-02-15 01:16:53 AM

Tsar_Bomba1: Well... that's the last time I'll click on a iO9 link.

Good job Fark... good job.


Why's that?

Were you made uncomfortable by someone challenging your story book?
 
2014-02-15 01:27:51 AM
I laugh at adults living in the 21st century who still believe in that crap.

Go live in a cave you morons.
 
2014-02-15 01:41:22 AM
If god really is god how can anything he does be regarded as wrong?

you can't level rules on a being who dictates reality by whim. God wants what god wants and does what he wants.
 
2014-02-15 01:43:23 AM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

#1: Eliseus was a prophet of God.  Think on that for a moment.  His job is to represent God in physical form on this plane of existence.If Eliseus didn't kill those children then it would give the appearance that God wasn't God.

See, its double standards like this- First he's God, then he's not God- that atheists and non-believers are hypocritical about.

#2: Turning Lots wife into salt.  Why did he do it?  Lots wife was punished by being turned into a pillar of salt for direct disobedience- she turned around, looked at the city and was killed for disobeying God.

You should begin to notice the beginning of a pattern developing here....

#3: "Hating ugly people".  No, the reason why God had that law was this:  God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.

#4: Trying to kill Moses?  Yes, God does not show favoritism- God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!

#5: Genocide?  God told the people of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of every nation they invaded- and he told them if any survived, they would "be a thorn in your side for eternity".  By disobeying God 4500 years ago you STILL have war in the middle east!  Just look at Syria!  Egypt! As a few examples!

#6: Abraham killing his own Son?  No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

#7:  Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

#8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.

#9:  Sampson certainly had some problems- and God certainly used him as an "Agent Provocateur"- like burning the neighbors farms with torches tied to fox's tails.  Sampson also wasn't very bright- longer his hair, more powerful he became.

In the end, Sampson had lost his sight, his strength had come back, and his last living request was to suicide- and he did it by pulling down the support beams of the temple he was tied up in.  He killed 3,000 philistines and whats really cool?  They found this temple about 20 years ago complete with the bodies under the rubble exactly how the bible had described it.

#10: Now, why do you think God intentionally crippled Jacob in a wrestling match for life?  If you read how Jacob was a thief, a con artist, what you're really seeing is God intentionally crippling a life long bad guy so he couldn't be a bad guy anymore- what you're reading about is God's justice!!

Think on that.  Now compare that to our current legal system

You can study the last two on your own.

 

Oh dear.

1. God isn't real you mouth-breathing reprobate.

2. God is supposed to have killed a woman for glancing around. There is no, "I told you not to" that would make that acceptable to moral people.

3. Riiiight. "I love everyone! Ew, what's wrong with your face (that I'm supposed to have crafted)? Gross, fark off!"

4. Slavery and murder. Pretty much what one would expect of some of the most vile people on Earth. And their simplistic and corrupt religion.

5. fark's sake, you are actually saying "See? We were right about committing atrocities, the final solution!" Do you really have so little grasp of irony?

6. Well that man should have cracked his dad's skull open with a rock because the insane old cooter was a danger to everyone around him. Spreading falsehood with his lying jackal's tongue.

7. Shouldn't black people be lining up around the block to kill like 40% of white Americans then?

8. fark off, each of us is in charge of our own genitals. Not your imaginary friend.

9. Good grief, magic is not real. Do your handlers know you're loose?

10. Ohhhhhh, so God was busy letting the Jews rape and murder children but he had to get busy quick-like to deal with that "bad guy con artist".

Your beliefs are evil. You are evil. You and every other xtian are chickenhawks attempting to spread ignorance and misery and all of you deserve to be driven into the sea. You disgusting, stupid, frequently child-molesting monsters.

I can't believe we as a society haven't just started burning you people at the stake.
 
2014-02-15 01:53:16 AM

TOSViolation: The stupid thing is that the author of that stupid webpage is thinking like an idiot human.

When God kills a righteous person, he's just inviting them into his home.  That's it.  It's no tragedy.  Many of you are just too stupid to realize that this pathetic life you cling to is meaningless in the grand scheme of existence.


The evil that is the fictional Yhwh wouldn't even be worth meeting for coffee.
 
2014-02-15 02:42:21 AM

Z-clipped: ThrobblefootSpectre: Meh.  Been done a brazilian times.  Do an article on why Allah is an asshole, and Mohammed was a warlord pedophile using excerpts from the Quran, and I  might think you are open-minded and edgy.

Umm... do you know why they refer to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as "the Abrahamic religions?


I don't know why they invented a new word to group the religions, it's much easier to just classify Christianity and Islam as sects of Judaism (along with Samaritanism, and a handful of other religions).
 
Esn
2014-02-15 03:18:52 AM

The_Philosopher_King: [img.fark.net image 500x342]


Perhaps God believes that it is a greater evil to take free will away from humans for the purpose of removing evil from the world than it would be to let that evil remain in place.

Free will is also what allows humans to PERCEIVE evil. If everything is preordained, then words like "good" and "evil" lose all meaning in the first place.
 
2014-02-15 04:08:27 AM

Esn: The_Philosopher_King: [img.fark.net image 500x342]

Perhaps God believes that it is a greater evil to take free will away from humans for the purpose of removing evil from the world than it would be to let that evil remain in place.

Free will is also what allows humans to PERCEIVE evil. If everything is preordained, then words like "good" and "evil" lose all meaning in the first place.


So, if it is true that God wants us to have free will, why do his most vocal adherents constantly strive to deny individuals their right to free will through government action? Are they not interfering with God's will when they do so? How can God truly judge us, if his church denies its members the opportunity to exercise their individual free will by empowering the government to deny it through "anti-sin" legislation?
 
2014-02-15 04:18:19 AM

Ow! That was my feelings!: Esn: The_Philosopher_King: [img.fark.net image 500x342]

Perhaps God believes that it is a greater evil to take free will away from humans for the purpose of removing evil from the world than it would be to let that evil remain in place.

Free will is also what allows humans to PERCEIVE evil. If everything is preordained, then words like "good" and "evil" lose all meaning in the first place.

So, if it is true that God wants us to have free will, why do his most vocal adherents constantly strive to deny individuals their right to free will through government action? Are they not interfering with God's will when they do so? How can God truly judge us, if his church denies its members the opportunity to exercise their individual free will by empowering the government to deny it through "anti-sin" legislation?


As a follow up, it would seem that certain memberships of His church are attempting to reduce the temptations they face and their own free will choices, as well as everyone else's choices, so as to ease their path to salvation.
 
2014-02-15 06:44:27 AM
God needs a good swift kick to the crotch.
 
2014-02-15 07:14:36 AM

lindalouwho: cyberspacedout: lindalouwho: *on mobile...sorry, don't know how or if it's possible to bold your names.

Ya gotta use HTML. As a shortcut, if you type in the deprecated b or i tags, Fark automatically converts them to strong or em.

Thanks, I'll see if I can manage it lol.

I haven't been able to find the sideways v on my lame keyboard. Like the dollar sign, among others. Have accidently gotten other "hidden" symbols but don't know how. If I fail with your tips I still know some people from a gig at CMU I'll go see. Can learn to post pics too instead of being frustrated.

but some may call the "sideways v's" the greater than, or lesser than symbols.

 
Esn
2014-02-15 08:46:37 AM

Ow! That was my feelings!: Ow! That was my feelings!: Esn: The_Philosopher_King: [img.fark.net image 500x342]

Perhaps God believes that it is a greater evil to take free will away from humans for the purpose of removing evil from the world than it would be to let that evil remain in place.

Free will is also what allows humans to PERCEIVE evil. If everything is preordained, then words like "good" and "evil" lose all meaning in the first place.

So, if it is true that God wants us to have free will, why do his most vocal adherents constantly strive to deny individuals their right to free will through government action? Are they not interfering with God's will when they do so? How can God truly judge us, if his church denies its members the opportunity to exercise their individual free will by empowering the government to deny it through "anti-sin" legislation?

As a follow up, it would seem that certain memberships of His church are attempting to reduce the temptations they face and their own free will choices, as well as everyone else's choices, so as to ease their path to salvation.


Yes, and that is for the best. God giveth us free will. If men should try to give other men more free will, they would be trying to be God, which is a sin. You can surely see this.
 
2014-02-15 09:09:15 AM
This world is divided into those who believe and those who don't, and I doubt conversations like these are going to sway too many minds to chance course. Faith is many things, but "easy" is not one of them, and why should it be?

For every glib description here of a Biblical passage showing God's "mean side" (and I could cite dozens like these), there are literally centuries of Jewish and Ecumenical discourses explaining, dissecting, and analyzing these passages. Anyone curious can find a lifetime's worth of writings on these subjects. 109's contribution isn't the last word, nor even the most derisive.

But to add only my 2 cents to one paragraph, in #12, God himself poses the rhetorical question, "Do you understand just how powerful I am and what I'm up to?", to which Job, once he's allowed to speak to God directly (apparently an extremely clarifying moment), says, "I should shut up now, I had no idea what I was talking about"- somewhat different than the discussion the author summarizes. (As an aside, I have always drawn from these famous verses a profound message- the closer one draws to God, the more difficult life can be; the more difficult life can be, the closer it can bring you to God.)

I urge anyone with even the slightest interest to not take any of this at face value, but to open a version (preferably a modern day translation) of these stories and READ THEM YOURSELVES!!! You might come away with surprising insight into why this collection of messages is inarguably the single greatest influence on Western Civilization in the last 3500 years.

 / I know, I know...flame retardant suit on
 
2014-02-15 09:22:42 AM

BenJammin: God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!


So you're saying God gave men foreskin because he's an asshole.
 
2014-02-15 09:24:30 AM
22 Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.

23 And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, and said unto them, Nay, my brethren, nay, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that this man is come into mine house, do not this folly.

24 Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.

25 But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.

26 Then came the woman in the dawning of the day, and fell down at the door of the man's house where her lord was, till it was light.

27 And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the house, and went out to go his way: and, behold, the woman his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were upon the threshold.

28 And he said unto her, Up, and let us be going. But none answered. Then the man took her up upon an ass, and the man rose up, and gat him unto his place.

29 And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel.
Judges 19
 
2014-02-15 09:28:52 AM

water00boy: / I know, I know...flame retardant suit on


I don't believe in God, but I'll be the first to admit that I don't know everything there is to know.

Our cat died when we were in the states. My stepson looked after everything and buried the cat near the greenhouse. When he was finished, he turned around and there was a tiny kitten (who could easily be the deceased cat's daughter). Just out of a clear, blue sky.

She's hung around.

An act of God? Not in my eyes. But, definitely an interest coincidence and maybe some weird energy from somewhere. At least, it sort of feels that way.

You're welcome to your beliefs and I don't put down people who have faith. I do, however, dislike 'religious' types who force their belief systems on others.
 
2014-02-15 09:42:24 AM

Z-clipped: Umm... do you know why they refer to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as "the Abrahamic religions?


Umm...yep, and they are two different religions.
 
2014-02-15 09:52:24 AM

bigbobowski: lindalouwho: cyberspacedout: lindalouwho: *on mobile...sorry, don't know how or if it's possible to bold your names.

Ya gotta use HTML. As a shortcut, if you type in the deprecated b or i tags, Fark automatically converts them to strong or em.

Thanks, I'll see if I can manage it lol.

I haven't been able to find the sideways v on my lame keyboard. Like the dollar sign, among others. Have accidently gotten other "hidden" symbols but don't know how. If I fail with your tips I still know some people from a gig at CMU I'll go see. Can learn to post pics too instead of being frustrated.

but some may call the "sideways v's" the greater than, or lesser than symbols.


Thank you!

/pesky Sometimers
 
2014-02-15 11:03:07 AM

ThrobblefootSpectre: Z-clipped: Umm... do you know why they refer to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as "the Abrahamic religions?

Umm...yep, and they are two different religions.


Someone can count to potato
 
2014-02-15 11:12:39 AM

Trailltrader: What an amazing way of twisting God's book to "support" a non-believers position.  What an insulting backhanded way of acknowledging WHY GOD DID WHAT HE DID!

#1: Eliseus was a prophet of God.  Think on that for a moment.  His job is to represent God in physical form on this plane of existence.If Eliseus didn't kill those children then it would give the appearance that God wasn't God.

See, its double standards like this- First he's God, then he's not God- that atheists and non-believers are hypocritical about.

#2: Turning Lots wife into salt.  Why did he do it?  Lots wife was punished by being turned into a pillar of salt for direct disobedience- she turned around, looked at the city and was killed for disobeying God.

You should begin to notice the beginning of a pattern developing here....

#3: "Hating ugly people".  No, the reason why God had that law was this:  God is so Holy, to present such people before him would be an insult.

#4: Trying to kill Moses?  Yes, God does not show favoritism- God told Moses "either circumsize your Sons or I will kill you".  Once again- disobedience!!

#5: Genocide?  God told the people of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of every nation they invaded- and he told them if any survived, they would "be a thorn in your side for eternity".  By disobeying God 4500 years ago you STILL have war in the middle east!  Just look at Syria!  Egypt! As a few examples!

#6: Abraham killing his own Son?  No, God wanted to test Abraham's faith- and Isaac wasn't a child at the time but actually a man around 40 years old.

#7:  Killing Egyptians was payback for their time as slaves, remember?

#8:  Onan directly disobeyed God by not inseminating his brothers wife to carry on the bloodline.  God killed him for coitus interruptus.  'Nuff said.

#9:  Sampson certainly had some problems- and God certainly used him as an "Agent Provocateur"- like burning the neighbors farms with torches tied to fox's tails.  Sampson also wasn't very bright- lon ...


Damn you Poe and your infernal law!
 
2014-02-15 11:13:48 AM

impaler: ThrobblefootSpectre: Z-clipped: Umm... do you know why they refer to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as "the Abrahamic religions?

Umm...yep, and they are two different religions.

Someone can count to potato


Some people consider Judaism and Christianity as one. I'm sure there are some here who would scream argue they are not. It's a matter of perspective for both parties involved in that one.
 
2014-02-15 11:22:43 AM

ThrobblefootSpectre: Z-clipped: Umm... do you know why they refer to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as "the Abrahamic religions?

Umm...yep, and they are two different religions.


It's Yahweh, you dolt!
 
2014-02-15 11:22:58 AM

InterruptingQuirk: Some people consider Judaism and Christianity as one. I'm sure there are some here who would scream argue they are not. It's a matter of perspective for both parties involved in that one.


They're lumped together as a set, but I've never seen anyone try to argue they are one religion.
 
2014-02-15 11:25:12 AM

InterruptingQuirk: Some people


Yeah, I'm pretty sure not this guy. I think he's just stupid.
 
2014-02-15 11:38:09 AM

Z-clipped: It's Yahweh, you dolt!


That seems to imply this "Yahweh" actually exists.  Not being religious myself, I don't think there is a actual being associated with these ideas.  The point was they are two different religions and two different sets of holy texts.  I don't see what so hard for you to understand.

It's sort of like trying to argue that since humans and squirrels are grouped together as mammals, they are the same creature.  Or since Saturn and Jupiter are both classed as gas giants, they are the same planet.

And cut the stupid insults.  lol  :)
 
2014-02-15 11:46:20 AM

InterruptingQuirk: impaler: ThrobblefootSpectre: Z-clipped: Umm... do you know why they refer to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as "the Abrahamic religions?

Umm...yep, and they are two different religions.

Someone can count to potato

Some people consider Judaism and Christianity as one. I'm sure there are some here who would scream argue they are not. It's a matter of perspective for both parties involved in that one.


The argument isn't that they are the same religion, it's that they follow the same deity. I don't think anyone argues against that.
 
2014-02-15 12:09:37 PM

Hollie Maea: InterruptingQuirk: impaler: ThrobblefootSpectre: Z-clipped: Umm... do you know why they refer to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as "the Abrahamic religions?

Umm...yep, and they are two different religions.

Someone can count to potato

Some people consider Judaism and Christianity as one. I'm sure there are some here who would scream argue they are not. It's a matter of perspective for both parties involved in that one.

The argument isn't that they are the same religion, it's that they follow the same deity. I don't think anyone argues against that.


I'm just going to back out of the room slowly and ask all of you to forget you ever saw me.
 
2014-02-15 12:24:30 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: That seems to imply this "Yahweh" actually exists


No, it doesn't.

What it implies is that the god in the book question (Yahweh of the Old Testament) is the god worshiped by all three of those religions.  Saying "somebody should critique Allah if they want to be edgy" is farking idiotic... this piece IS critiquing Alllah.

ThrobblefootSpectre: Not being religious myself,


Hey man, I'm an atheist (and have been since I was born), but I don't feel that means that I need to walk through my life completely ignorant about religion.

ThrobblefootSpectre: It's sort of like trying to argue that since humans and squirrels are grouped together as mammals, they are the same creature. Or since Saturn and Jupiter are both classed as gas giants, they are the same planet.


You're even worse at analogy than you are at counting to three.

ThrobblefootSpectre: And cut the stupid insults. lol :)


You could have left the "Islam is off-limits in the Liberal MSM Lamestream Media" shtick out of the discussion in the first place, but you were so intent on injecting it, you opted to make yourself look like a farking moron in the process.  You reap what you sow.
 
2014-02-15 12:31:51 PM
 

Hollie Maea: The argument isn't that they are the same religion, it's that they follow the same deity. I don't think anyone argues against that.


Wow.  Okay.  Let's try again.  I was talking about the texts being critiqued.  That was clear in my post.   I named a different text to critique and pointed out that only one text is ever critiqued by certain people who seem somewhat, shall we say, bigoted.   I would like to see the edgy crowd some post some articles on their blogs about other texts revered by billions of people.  But we always see the same bullet items for the same text, as nauseum.   All I'm saying is let's hear your take on the texts describing this Allah fellow and his violent child raping followers, which seem to be largely ignored despite being the cause of a lot of violence today.

That religious people group some "deities" together is completely,utterly,and 100% unrelated to what I posted, and I do not disagree they some religious people do group them together. Clearer now?  :))
 
2014-02-15 12:47:45 PM

Z-clipped: What it implies is that the god in the book question (Yahweh of the Old Testament) is the god worshiped by all three of those religions.  Saying "somebody should critique Allah if they want to be edgy" is farking idiotic... this piece IS critiquing Alllah.


Sigh. lol.

I was hoping the same people would critique the Quran.  It is a different actual existing  TEXT.  (not deity, why the confusion?)

I don't believe in Yahweh or Allah. That some people think they are the same "god" is a 100% non-sequitur  to wondering why the edgy open-minded people never choose a different book to ridicule, when it would seem to be even easier pickings with even more outlandish violent thuggery in it.
 
2014-02-15 01:11:58 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: But we always see the same bullet items for the same text, as nauseum.


That's because it's

a) the foundational document upon which three of the most important religions in the world base their idea of god and,

b) it paints the most egregiously flawed, puerile, vindictive, capricious picture of said god, which not only reflects the character of the people who invented and described him in the first place, but also illustrates the incredible and willful moral rationalizations that the faithful will employ to sustain their belief.

ThrobblefootSpectre: All I'm saying is let's hear your take on the texts describing this Allah fellow and his violent child raping followers, which seem to be largely ignored despite being the cause of a lot of violence today.


Why should they, when the moral criticisms that can be levied against this god based on the New Testament or the Quran, or the Mishnah or the Talmud are peanuts compared to the Old Testament?  You can't believe in the god of any of those religions without accepting the god of the Old Testament.

If a guy murdered your family yesterday, and then cut in front of you in line at the bank today, would you take more issue with the second offense and ignore the first, or vice versa?

ThrobblefootSpectre: That religious people group some "deities" together is completely,utterly,and 100% unrelated to what I posted, and I do not disagree they some religious people do group them together. Clearer now?


They aren't "grouping deities together".  It's the SAME deity.  Your unwillingness to acknowledge this leads me to believe that you're lying about being "non-religious" and are really harboring a tribalist attitude that one of these religions is somehow better or worse than the others.

They all suck, because they're all based on accounts of the same morally repugnant deity who would be unworthy of worship, even if he did exist.  What you don't get is that this piece isn't a criticism of one religion.  It's a criticism of religious people, as reflected by their god.
 
2014-02-15 01:15:36 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: That some people think they are the same "god"


Try "all people with any religious education whatsoever", Champ.

ThrobblefootSpectre: it would seem to be even easier pickings with even more outlandish violent thuggery in it.


LOL, OK.  You might want to examine your own moral and cultural bias if you want to be taken seriously.
 
2014-02-15 01:29:24 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: I don't believe in Yahweh or Allah.


Do you believe in the Christian god?

note: I'm not asking if you're religious.
 
2014-02-15 01:41:53 PM

Z-clipped: It's the SAME deity.


According to some religious legend, sure.  And that's completely tangential to anything I posted about critiquing excerpts from a different book anyway.

I find your claim that you are an atheist, yet insist that mythological religious doctrine must be adhered to rather....odd.  I am referring to actual existing writings - the gods in christian writings and islamic writings are described differently with diverging histories and very different motivations  They are two different texts.   Texts not gods, why is the not getting through?  Regardless of whether you insist they have to be the same "god" or not.  I would like to see a different text critiqued by the same people who so amusingly analyze the biblical ones, that's all.  Simple non-religious factual statement.

I always think it's weird that some people claim to be atheist and then get upset if someone doesn't believe the religious doctrine to the letter.   Look, I'm sorry I upset your beliefs.  Honest.  All I said was i thought maybe someone should critique the Quran, a different text that actually exists, in a similar manner.  It clearly has you emotionally upset, to the point of slinging insults and posting the same irrational non-sequiturs over and over.  Though I question your claim to atheism.
 
2014-02-15 01:46:41 PM

Z-clipped: Do you believe in the Christian god?


I don't even think there is a single definition of a Christian "god" to believe in.  There are over a hundred christian sects each attributing different commands, and motivations to their respective "gods"
 
2014-02-15 02:05:27 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: According to some religious legend, sure.


*facepalm*

I see.  Called out on something stupid that you said, your tactic is pretend to be stupid to a hugely greater degree so your original comment looks intelligent by comparison.This is boring.  I'm done.
 
2014-02-15 02:17:21 PM

Z-clipped: I'm done


I agree.
 
2014-02-15 02:35:33 PM

Silverstaff: The stupid shiat "god" does in the Old Testament is one big reason I'm not Christian.

If you step outside our cultural position of assuming Yahweh/Jehovah as good, and look at it, the deity of the Israelites is actually pretty sadistic, arbitrary, capricious and downright evil.

The whole killing the Egyptian babies thing is where I just completely gave up.  Christians lose their shiat at abortion, saying it's killing babies. . .but they have no problem with their own deity killing every firstborn of an entire generation of Egyptians.

Oh, and Job too.  They have a nice list of 12, but #7 and #12 were always the deal breakers for me.  The great flood really bothered me too.

Sorry, the god of Abraham is an evil, sadistic farker, a backwater tribal patron deity who managed to, through good PR and amazing luck, get mistaken by a couple billion people as being the only god in existence.  I can't imagine anybody who reads that would WANT to worship him.

I'd rather worship Odin, or Athena, personally.


I went for Gaia.
 
2014-02-15 02:44:26 PM

Ed Grubermann: Trailltrader: [excuses]

This has to be the work of a Poe. No one could be this delusional.


Yes, they could, and space is very, very big, to boot.
 
2014-02-15 06:39:53 PM

water00boy: Faith is many things, but "easy" is not one of them, and why should it be?


Start with the assumption that something or someone is the embodiment of absolute good, no matter what.  All of its actions can only be interpreted in this light.  Ill will towards it is wrong, because nobody in the world is in a position to understand why it does the things it does.  Nobody is in any position of authority to challenge its decisions.  The entire world exists only to serve and glorify it.  This is faith.  Try it for the god of the bible and you can see where they're coming from.  But now try it for your cat.  Or the termites infesting someone's house.  Or Wall Street.  Or yourself.

You're right in that it shouldn't be easy.  Living in a way that fundamentally distorts reality never is.

water00boy: I urge anyone with even the slightest interest to not take any of this at face value, but to open a version (preferably a modern day translation) of these stories and READ THEM YOURSELVES!!! You might come away with surprising insight into why this collection of messages is inarguably the single greatest influence on Western Civilization in the last 3500 years.


You're right, but not for the reasons you might think.  Try to imagine how you would set up a society.  What rules would you impose on people?  Could you get away with being that sole arbiter of good?  Probably not, but what if you made a being, based on what you knew at the time on how the world works, who created it all, who would then have a set of rules to follow?

And what if people continued to follow this long after human knowledge and culture have advanced to the point of making most of the rules obsolete?
 
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