Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   ". . . and finally, one of the most important parts of any wedding is the wholesale mass slaughter of the guests"   (io9.com) divider line 68
    More: Strange, massacres, wholesales, George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones  
•       •       •

9689 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 2:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-14 01:37:45 PM  
I prefer an Essos style wedding.

atoast2toast.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-14 01:46:25 PM  
odeon.typepad.com
 
2014-02-14 01:53:25 PM  
In the modern age we just use Predators

/efficiency!
 
2014-02-14 01:56:46 PM  
But, I thought you wanted an abattoir ?
 
2014-02-14 02:06:03 PM  

vudukungfu: But, I thought you wanted an abattoir ?


I see, I haven't correctly divined your attitude toward your tenants.
 
2014-02-14 02:13:05 PM  
Oh come on... let's not argue about who killed who.

/whom?
 
2014-02-14 02:19:02 PM  

Sybarite: I prefer an Essos style wedding.

[atoast2toast.files.wordpress.com image 850x478]


A Dothraki wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair.
 
2014-02-14 02:21:33 PM  
This is why you don't go to a Frey wedding
 
2014-02-14 02:23:27 PM  
The Starks had it coming. They practically asked for it with their shenanigans and stupidity.
 
2014-02-14 02:29:47 PM  
Read something in the paper this morning about the French ideas on love in the Middle Ages where they defined it as a 'derangement of the mind' which could be cured with sex.
 
2014-02-14 02:30:58 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: The Starks had it coming. They practically asked for it with their shenanigans and stupidity.


I don't know. Robb Stark was smart enough at least to fake his own death a la Sherlock Holmes and bide his time for revenge.
 
2014-02-14 02:37:25 PM  
There are some weddings that I have attended where death would have been welcome reprieve.
 
2014-02-14 02:38:51 PM  

Cagey B: InterruptingQuirk: The Starks had it coming. They practically asked for it with their shenanigans and stupidity.

I don't know. Robb Stark was smart enough at least to fake his own death a la Sherlock Holmes and bide his time for revenge.


Where is his head now?
 
2014-02-14 02:39:53 PM  

Lando Lincoln: There are some weddings that I have attended where death would have been welcome reprieve.


My own springs to mind
 
2014-02-14 02:47:29 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Cagey B: InterruptingQuirk: The Starks had it coming. They practically asked for it with their shenanigans and stupidity.

I don't know. Robb Stark was smart enough at least to fake his own death a la Sherlock Holmes and bide his time for revenge.

Where is his head now?


0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2014-02-14 02:48:40 PM  
I hate his books. I think he's a closet sociopath that gets his rocks off building up and then killing characters to get a vicarious kill-thrill that he's not yet indulged in real life.
 
2014-02-14 02:50:31 PM  
i184.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 02:53:03 PM  
I think he's making this all up.
 
2014-02-14 02:55:52 PM  
Came for the Game of Thrones reference, left satisfied.
 
2014-02-14 03:03:05 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Cagey B: InterruptingQuirk: The Starks had it coming. They practically asked for it with their shenanigans and stupidity.

I don't know. Robb Stark was smart enough at least to fake his own death a la Sherlock Holmes and bide his time for revenge.

Where is his head now?


Yes, he did leave a conveniently unidentifiable body.
 
2014-02-14 03:04:54 PM  

Latinwolf: Came for the Game of Thrones reference, left satisfied.


... The article and the headline are both Game of Thrones related. Why wouldn't there be any references to Game of Thrones in this thread?
 
2014-02-14 03:06:44 PM  

Are there wieners at these weddings?



i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-02-14 03:07:19 PM  
St Bartholomew's day?
 
2014-02-14 03:07:55 PM  
Ah, can't wait for Joffrey's wedding on the show.

The best part of a real life wedding is the food bit and then the bit where I eat all the carrots on the vegetable tray so no one else gets any.
 
2014-02-14 03:09:33 PM  
Oh, I figured this the link would have gone to a real story from some Muslim country.
 
2014-02-14 03:10:09 PM  
Ah yes, 'Game of Thrones'.  Decently rendered characters pushed around aimlessly for hundreds of pages with no real discernable plot or point to it all.  Martin really could have used a co-author who was competent at storytelling.
 
2014-02-14 03:11:57 PM  
Well then you should bring a glaive to prevent The Beast from stealing your bride. And also Liam Neeson and a psyclops that can only foresee his own death.
 
2014-02-14 03:12:52 PM  
Sorry everyone.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-02-14 03:14:50 PM  
The Lannisters send their regards.
 
2014-02-14 03:15:14 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Oh, I figured this the link would have gone to a real story from some Muslim country.


That's usually from joyous celebratory gunfire or a drone strike.
 
2014-02-14 03:18:35 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: The Starks had it coming. They practically asked for it with their shenanigans and stupidity.


I have had to explain this to folks so many times. The people in GoT that are getting killed are *not* just getting it for the sake of the plot - they DID STUPID SHIAT.

Case in point: Cersei. Three things you don't do as a medieval leader: piss off your church, state bank, and military, and not realize what a mistake you're making. The minute she did the first two I started wondering how in hell she was going to outlive her children. I don't think she's going to have the time for the third, unless Jaime's reaction to her letter counts.
 
2014-02-14 03:18:35 PM  

ObscureNameHere: Ah yes, 'Game of Thrones'.  Decently rendered characters pushed around aimlessly for hundreds of pages with no real discernable plot or point to it all.  Martin really could have used a co-author who was competent at storytelling.


I really enjoy the fact that, in A Song of Fire and Ice, nobody really knows what's going on and they carry on regardless. I like the scenery, and the notion that people are being coldly crushed under the wheel of history rather than being special and unique Hero's Journey snowflakes around whom the world and characters are tortuously bent.
 
2014-02-14 03:21:25 PM  

FunkOut: Ah, can't wait for Joffrey's wedding on the show.

The best part of a real life wedding is the food bit and then the bit where I eat all the carrots on the vegetable tray so no one else gets any.


You're in luck, the wedding rings are made out of 24 carrot gold!
 
2014-02-14 03:22:20 PM  

Shostie: Latinwolf: Came for the Game of Thrones reference, left satisfied.

... The article and the headline are both Game of Thrones related. Why wouldn't there be any references to Game of Thrones in this thread?


Wasn't sure about the headline and the article site is one of those that are blocked from where I work.
 
2014-02-14 03:25:44 PM  
Came here for the monty python reference... leaving satisfied.
 
2014-02-14 03:25:45 PM  

The Lizard People: The Lannisters send their regards.


There is a car that I occasionally see parked outside my place of work that has a Stark wolf sticker on its rear window.

I have that quote written in not-quite calligraphy on a note in my bag. It's going under their windshield the next time I see that car.
 
2014-02-14 03:25:58 PM  
Wipe out non-negotiating cast @ wedding massacre/cliffhanger?
DYNASTY DID IT, Moldavian Style!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7KOvzLSFKI
 
2014-02-14 03:26:26 PM  

Nurglitch: ObscureNameHere: Ah yes, 'Game of Thrones'.  Decently rendered characters pushed around aimlessly for hundreds of pages with no real discernable plot or point to it all.  Martin really could have used a co-author who was competent at storytelling.

I really enjoy the fact that, in A Song of Fire and Ice, nobody really knows what's going on and they carry on regardless. I like the scenery, and the notion that people are being coldly crushed under the wheel of history rather than being special and unique Hero's Journey snowflakes around whom the world and characters are tortuously bent.


Imagine what Lord of the Rings would be like if characters didn't have plot armor.
 
2014-02-14 03:28:37 PM  

HailRobonia: Nurglitch: ObscureNameHere: Ah yes, 'Game of Thrones'.  Decently rendered characters pushed around aimlessly for hundreds of pages with no real discernable plot or point to it all.  Martin really could have used a co-author who was competent at storytelling.

I really enjoy the fact that, in A Song of Fire and Ice, nobody really knows what's going on and they carry on regardless. I like the scenery, and the notion that people are being coldly crushed under the wheel of history rather than being special and unique Hero's Journey snowflakes around whom the world and characters are tortuously bent.

Imagine what Lord of the Rings would be like if characters didn't have plot armor.


Back it up to the Silmarillion, and we're on.
 
2014-02-14 03:31:34 PM  

zomega: InterruptingQuirk: The Starks had it coming. They practically asked for it with their shenanigans and stupidity.

I have had to explain this to folks so many times. The people in GoT that are getting killed are *not* just getting it for the sake of the plot - they DID STUPID SHIAT.


Joke is on you: there is no plot.
 
2014-02-14 03:35:13 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: I hate his books. I think he's a closet sociopath that gets his rocks off building up and then killing characters to get a vicarious kill-thrill that he's not yet indulged in real life.


You do have to hand him that for sure. I appreciate the willingness of authors to kill off major protagonists.
 
2014-02-14 03:35:45 PM  

Nurglitch: ObscureNameHere: Ah yes, 'Game of Thrones'.  Decently rendered characters pushed around aimlessly for hundreds of pages with no real discernable plot or point to it all.  Martin really could have used a co-author who was competent at storytelling.

I really enjoy the fact that, in A Song of Fire and Ice, nobody really knows what's going on and they carry on regardless. I like the scenery, and the notion that people are being coldly crushed under the wheel of history rather than being special and unique Hero's Journey snowflakes around whom the world and characters are tortuously bent.


You mean where the author gets the reader to invest time in a character then have them randomly killed off for false dramatic effect?   Where he has characters wander around for pages and pages to no real discernable end or story function?

Example: every Chapter labeled "Sansa" for Books 2-4 can be replaced with the following:

"Sansa wandered by herself in the castle.  Joffery was being a dick again and had abused her.  She wished her life was a fairy tale -but it wasn't."

BOOM! Just save you all a several dozen pages of filler.

Just like the entire 'Southern Kingdoms' story arc, or anything to do with Daneris since she stopped striving westward and stopped and became boring.
 
2014-02-14 03:37:35 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Agent Smiths Laugh: I hate his books. I think he's a closet sociopath that gets his rocks off building up and then killing characters to get a vicarious kill-thrill that he's not yet indulged in real life.

You do have to hand him that for sure. I appreciate the willingness of authors to kill off major protagonists.


Like in the Bible.
 
2014-02-14 03:39:38 PM  

ObscureNameHere: Nurglitch: ObscureNameHere: Ah yes, 'Game of Thrones'.  Decently rendered characters pushed around aimlessly for hundreds of pages with no real discernable plot or point to it all.  Martin really could have used a co-author who was competent at storytelling.

I really enjoy the fact that, in A Song of Fire and Ice, nobody really knows what's going on and they carry on regardless. I like the scenery, and the notion that people are being coldly crushed under the wheel of history rather than being special and unique Hero's Journey snowflakes around whom the world and characters are tortuously bent.

You mean where the author gets the reader to invest time in a character then have them randomly killed off for false dramatic effect?   Where he has characters wander around for pages and pages to no real discernable end or story function?

Example: every Chapter labeled "Sansa" for Books 2-4 can be replaced with the following:

"Sansa wandered by herself in the castle.  Joffery was being a dick again and had abused her.  She wished her life was a fairy tale -but it wasn't."

BOOM! Just save you all a several dozen pages of filler.

Just like the entire 'Southern Kingdoms' story arc, or anything to do with Daneris since she stopped striving westward and stopped and became boring.


How awesome would it have been if Sansa HAD bum-rushed Joffrey on that catwalk while they were looking at the heads and they both just fell to their deaths? Or she landed on Joffrey and Joffrey's head exploded like a melon but she lived?

Now THAT would have gotten some political gears moving...
 
2014-02-14 03:40:39 PM  

ObscureNameHere: Example: every Chapter labeled "Sansa" for Books 2-4 can be replaced with the following:

"Sansa wandered by herself in the castle.  Joffery was being a dick again and had abused her.  She wished her life was a fairy tale -but it wasn't."


I wasn't aware Joffrey was still abusing Sansa in book 4.  Must have missed that one.
 
2014-02-14 03:42:16 PM  

ObscureNameHere: Example: every Chapter labeled "Sansa" for Books 2-4 can be replaced with the following:


I just kind of skim all the Sansa chapters. I hated her at first but I am beginning to feel bad for her, with her obvious learning disability and all.
 
2014-02-14 03:48:05 PM  
Walder Frey may be a traitorous lecher, but he damn sure knows how to pre-empt a conga line.
 
2014-02-14 03:48:22 PM  

yelmrog: ObscureNameHere: Example: every Chapter labeled "Sansa" for Books 2-4 can be replaced with the following:

"Sansa wandered by herself in the castle.  Joffery was being a dick again and had abused her.  She wished her life was a fairy tale -but it wasn't."

I wasn't aware Joffrey was still abusing Sansa in book 4.  Must have missed that one.


3 or 4, couldn't recall off hand.  Doesn't really matter does it?  It is all just one long rambling narrative run by an ADHD sociopathic puppet-master.
 
2014-02-14 03:49:50 PM  
Robb Stark got what he deserved for breaking his word.
 
2014-02-14 03:51:32 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Read something in the paper this morning about the French ideas on love in the Middle Ages where they defined it as a 'derangement of the mind' which could be cured with sex.


Marriage will also take care of that.
 
Displayed 50 of 68 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report