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(Esquire)   And the worst Valentine's Day gift of all time is:   (esquire.com) divider line 80
    More: Silly, Valentine's Day, American dollars, blood donors  
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9955 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 12:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-14 12:55:24 PM  
I felt compelled to comment.
 
2014-02-14 12:56:33 PM  

Mateorocks: I beg to differ:

[misanthropology101.files.wordpress.com image 500x500]


Agreed
 
2014-02-14 12:59:11 PM  
The machete thing in the article... what the hell was that? My girl gave me a machete for Christmas. Not only is it useful, and yes the neighbors do seem to have an odd new respect after seeing me trim the hedges, but it also is a message of trust. My buddy gave his girlfriend a shotgun today. That was ballsy.
 
2014-02-14 01:05:57 PM  
Wtf was that all about?
 
2014-02-14 01:06:47 PM  

Cold_Sassy: FTFA: Here's the plan: Save your real gift for 48 hours from now. At about noon, give her the gift of mayonnaise...

Are you men farking crazy?


Further advice: Make damn sure you have the receipt for the "good" gift to prove that you bought it before Valentines day. You will most likely still experience the wrath of ire, but MIGHT make your live easier, depending on the sense of humor factor of the gal.
 
2014-02-14 01:07:26 PM  

6655321: Better than the gift from Jack McGurn to Bugs Moran gang in Chicago. Number one with a bullet..


Ok, I know there must be Capone-themed Valentine Cards out there, somewhere.

/leaves thread to find them on the innerweb.
 
2014-02-14 01:08:06 PM  
Has no one ever seen this?


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 01:12:50 PM  

Mateorocks: I beg to differ:

[misanthropology101.files.wordpress.com image 500x500]


Winner.
 
2014-02-14 01:15:38 PM  

poodebunker: Wtf was that all about?


I'm not sure.  So I'm gonna start drinking.
 
2014-02-14 01:31:28 PM  

blatz514: poodebunker: Wtf was that all about?

I'm not sure.  So I'm gonna start drinking.


I'm on my way fix me one too. I'll stop for more booze and some snacks on the way. We'll try to figure this thing out.
 
2014-02-14 01:32:33 PM  
My hubby doesn't have to give me anything for Valentine's Day. It's stupid. He takes good care of me and adores me. I mean it. We don't need Hallmark Holidays. Ima make him a sammich.
 
2014-02-14 01:49:27 PM  

poodebunker: blatz514: poodebunker: Wtf was that all about?

I'm not sure.  So I'm gonna start drinking.

I'm on my way fix me one too. I'll stop for more booze and some snacks on the way. We'll try to figure this thing out.


Done.  What are we drowning our sorrows with?  Whiskey?  Vodak?
 
2014-02-14 01:54:56 PM  
That toothy BJ your mom gave me was pretty bad.
 
2014-02-14 02:02:01 PM  
My bf gave me a stuffed animal that his ex gave him. Even more farked up was that it was in a shelf in the closet and I have seen it. Then he made an appointment with his accountant today at 4, ruining the dinner reservations that I had made.

Talk about best Valentines day evar!!!
 
2014-02-14 02:16:08 PM  

ccc1138: What if it's artisan , craft, organic, local mayonnaise?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 393x296]


Well don't I feel dumb. I went into a local artisanal shop for a gift for my wife, and came out with a half pound of sponge candy. If only I'd known I could have bought mayonnaise instead. *facepalm*
 
2014-02-14 02:19:48 PM  
I was going to say vacuum cleaner but I think mayo has that beat
 
2014-02-14 02:23:19 PM  

farkin_noob: My bf gave me a stuffed animal that his ex gave him. Even more farked up was that it was in a shelf in the closet and I have seen it. Then he made an appointment with his accountant today at 4, ruining the dinner reservations that I had made.

Talk about best Valentines day evar!!!


He's probably having sex with the accountant
 
2014-02-14 02:24:42 PM  

farkin_noob: My bf gave me a stuffed animal that his ex gave him. Even more farked up was that it was in a shelf in the closet and I have seen it. Then he made an appointment with his accountant today at 4, ruining the dinner reservations that I had made.

Talk about best Valentines day evar!!!


You may be single soon
:(

/those sound like signs
 
2014-02-14 02:32:51 PM  
A picture of you farking her sister?
 
2014-02-14 02:44:34 PM  
Pads and Pamprin, and she said "thanks, just what I needed".
/threw in a card and flowers for good measure too, but those were secondary
 
2014-02-14 02:58:15 PM  

Valiente: [www.americangrocery.co.uk image 850x850]

[www.starmoviesasia.tv image 547x330]


Okay, who is she? She's cuter than a bug's ear.
 
2014-02-14 03:01:26 PM  

b0rg9: [i.imgur.com image 540x720]


Yeah, but he shot himself the day after he married her. What does that tell you?
 
2014-02-14 03:04:10 PM  
If you're not married to the lady yet, put a big f*cking diamond engagement ring in there, right on the top.  It's the perfect mix of OMGROMANCE and WTF!??
 
2014-02-14 03:35:41 PM  
Richard Brautigan approves
 
2014-02-14 04:22:20 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 04:33:20 PM  

Bunkyb123: My hubby doesn't have to give me anything for Valentine's Day. It's stupid. He takes good care of me and adores me. I mean it. We don't need Hallmark Holidays. Ima make him a sammich.


Holy carp, my wife is on Fark!
 
2014-02-14 05:12:18 PM  

xanadian: If you're not married to the lady yet, put a big f*cking diamond engagement ring in there, right on the top.  It's the perfect mix of OMGROMANCE and WTF!??


Yes, because nothing says commitment like an artificially inflated colorless carbon crystal that can be easily damaged by fire.

/pearls have class
//and character
///and they don't cost three months wages
 
2014-02-14 09:30:04 PM  

hasty ambush: I have to say the current SO was less than appreciative of this years gifts:








l


I got a weedeater for my first anniversary. Kinda prophetic, looking back.
She got a $300 Seiko
 
2014-02-15 07:18:46 AM  

farkin_noob: My bf gave me a stuffed animal that his ex gave him. Even more farked up was that it was in a shelf in the closet and I have seen it. Then he made an appointment with his accountant today at 4, ruining the dinner reservations that I had made.

Talk about best Valentines day evar!!!


DTMFA.
 
2014-02-15 10:39:46 AM  

Brainsick: [valleypatriot.com image 424x283]


Ooo... that's a really, really good (bad?) one, didn't think of that.  But still I think an STD would be worse.


gito: Herpes?


Why stop there?
img.fark.net
 
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