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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   (fork.com) divider line 508
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2162 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-14 03:50:16 PM
The dinner we had was amazing,
romance and laughter galore!
We have so much fun together,
You, the woman I adore.

We drove 'round the city,
And picked up a hooker with glee.
If two can have such sexy fun,
Imagine what it's like with three!

And now we dismember this hooker,
And dump her into the sea!
But first you play with her liver,
While I have sex with her knee.
 
2014-02-14 03:50:23 PM
Here i lay
Broken hearted
i expected golden showers
but you sharted
 
2014-02-14 03:52:56 PM
Your employees are common,
they leave the office in a squalor.
Why not hire a woman?
They work for 77 cents on the dollar.
 
2014-02-14 03:56:30 PM
Your crush may be dumb.
Your crush might have a fatass.
But your crush is still quite fun,
and her back looks like a mattress.
 
2014-02-14 03:59:09 PM
My nose is red,
Your thighs are blue,
When you are on your period, I shouldn't go down on you.
 
2014-02-14 03:59:41 PM

netweavr: Mods are often drunk,
Mods are always dumb.
Don't be in such a funk,
because one if them's still a slut.


*flex*
 
2014-02-14 04:00:03 PM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.



CM's getting so damp
Under that lamp
Trying to be an exciter
for every Single liter.
 
2014-02-14 04:01:17 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed
All the wonderful sex
But I think I should tell you
Better stock up on Valtrex.
 
2014-02-14 04:01:46 PM

xanadian: netweavr: Mods are often drunk,
Mods are always dumb.
Don't be in such a funk,
because one if them's still a slut.

*flex*


Holla atcha!
How's your mama?
 
2014-02-14 04:03:58 PM
You tried to give me a gift
All it did was create a rift
Now I'm sad and crying
I fear our love is dying
 
2014-02-14 04:06:57 PM
Rose's are red.
Violet's are blue.
If I get half a chance,
I'll look at yours too
 
2014-02-14 04:07:40 PM
For some reason I have "The Golden Rule" stuck in my head now.
 
2014-02-14 04:09:56 PM
My Heart Is a Wiffle Ball/ Freedom Pole
I reared digital moonlight,
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black,
Kismetly ... ubiquitously crestfallen,
Thrown down to strafe your foothills ... I'll suck the bones pretty
(http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/lostinshowbiz/2014/feb/13/k ris ten-stewart-acting-poetry-camp-x-ray)
 
2014-02-14 04:11:33 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're ex, you said you want to bed
Now, I'm leaving you.
 
2014-02-14 04:14:44 PM
You blew off our special night
Now, all we do is fight
You always talk to your ex
fark you, go to her for sex
 
2014-02-14 04:26:51 PM
Roses are red
Your wishlist is long
Who knew they had
that much variety of dong?
 
2014-02-14 04:34:25 PM
Roses are ghey
on this romantic day
I think I'll fap for hours
Because my left hand was asking for it; you should see the way it was dressed.
 
2014-02-14 04:37:38 PM
Roses are red,
Violets are bossy.
Enough with the head,
back to the salad tossing.
 
2014-02-14 04:46:41 PM
My friends all warned me
That you were quite insane
I didn't believe them till  I saw you
Blowing a Great Dane


I thought I was adventurous
In my relationships before
But you just did some stuff with me
That breaks Rule 34

Jumper cables, macaroons,
A ferret painted white
Are just a few ingredients
To make it a special night.

When all your lovers have turned away
And you're sad and out of place
You can always count on me
TO LAUGH IN YOUR FARKING FACE.
 
2014-02-14 04:50:40 PM
Roses are Grey
Violets are Too
I'm Colorblind
You Damn Fool
 
2014-02-14 05:14:35 PM
Roses can be Red
They can also be black
I dont think my penis
can fit in your crack
 
2014-02-14 05:18:31 PM
Oh clit  oh clit
Oh slimey  slit
All matted in hair
And covered in sh*t
I love thee
 
2014-02-14 05:18:48 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 05:41:45 PM
The Queen's priceless jewels
Fort Knox's gold nuggets
The oil of all Texas
The treasures of Lexus

I'd trade them right now, with no hesitation
and part with it all Without reservation
Just grant me a wish, while we are alone
To watch you perform The Rusty Trombone
 
2014-02-14 06:03:21 PM
Roses are red
Hitachis are white
Japanese engineering
is making my night!
 
2014-02-14 06:09:34 PM
It's here once again
The most vile holiday
There are couples out farking
And loners with no play
It's freezing and lonely
With just myself to blame
I'm drowning in vodka
To forget all the shame
 
2014-02-14 06:19:19 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Can we be friends?
You own a Fedora
 
2014-02-14 06:22:09 PM
Literally Addicted:
*snerk*

You are gifted!


I doth my fedora to you.  And promise to pay it forward.
 
2014-02-14 06:35:30 PM

KingoftheCheese: Cheesy poems? Here's the card I made for my wife this year.

[i431.photobucket.com image 650x1024]


Roses are red,
which I didn't order.
So I homemade this card,
please touch my boner.
 
2014-02-14 08:14:56 PM
Roses are red
Brown is the toast
I'm only here
Until last post.
 
2014-02-14 08:41:07 PM
Roses are red
And this is no boast
But I am the one
That gets the last post
 
2014-02-14 09:00:25 PM
Roses are red
My balls are blue
Bend it on over
I'm gonna do you!
 
2014-02-14 09:08:11 PM
Roses are Red
this day i a crock
screw you all
My date is a sock
 
2014-02-14 09:10:13 PM
CM's love pumpkin is a peculiar thing.
Most mangled and covered with hair.
It looks like the face of a preacher.
But smells like the ass of a bear.


LAST!
 
2014-02-14 09:13:14 PM
penis
 
2014-02-14 09:17:13 PM

kvinesknows: penis


pump
 
2014-02-14 09:30:06 PM
Roses are red
Your mom is a wreck
But I'll get last post
So suck it, Trebek
 
2014-02-14 09:31:26 PM
Roses are red
This thread is the suck
I forget where I heard it
But your mom is a whore
 
2014-02-14 09:47:01 PM
Roses are red
Your poems are crap
Your dog has the mange
And your sister's a trap
 
2014-02-14 10:00:13 PM
Roses are red
my ween is micro
Under my gunt
Sleeps the lizard from Geico
 
2014-02-14 10:49:35 PM
Roses are red
You're mom is a whore
She gave me head
God she's a slore

/last biatches!
 
2014-02-14 11:12:20 PM
Roses are red
Violets are purple
Your mom's cavernous coont
Smells of maple surple
 
2014-02-14 11:14:07 PM
My love I must know
Please don't get snarky
How do you feel
About teh bukkake?


My soul is crushed
My heart is torn
What do you mean
You don't like tentacle porn?
 
2014-02-14 11:22:02 PM
Our love life is in a rut
So I let you fark my butt
It means nothing to you
Who else wants to screw?
 
2014-02-14 11:50:40 PM
Roses are red
your balls aren't spherical
Finding your real dad
Would be a miracle
 
2014-02-14 11:52:10 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I gave you some head
Now lets screw

/once again
//last biatches
///slashies cum in threes
 
2014-02-14 11:55:56 PM
Roses are red
Kansas is flat
I gave a shiat
In your favorite hat
 
2014-02-15 12:57:42 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Speaking of red
That's not a rash
 
2014-02-15 01:09:11 AM
Roses are red
I ate a bean
Your mom's fond of balls
And likes the peen
 
2014-02-15 09:42:34 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You have nice titties
and give great blowjobs

/actual poem I gave my wife
//she didn't love it
 
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