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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   (fork.com ) divider line
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2242 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-14 12:28:25 PM  
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your mom does rough anal,
Your sister does, too.
 
2014-02-14 12:28:43 PM  
It took some time to love you
It took a while to care
but it took no time at all
to remove your underwear
 
2014-02-14 12:30:16 PM  

megarian: Woah. It got all gunty up in here.


What have I missed on Fark
Been gone since December
Woah. It got all gunty up in here.
Yup, that's what I remember.
 
2014-02-14 12:32:11 PM  

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.


Here is my poem for CatherineM
She is the loveliest of men
when she goes I smell the wind
and when she comes I come again
 
2014-02-14 12:32:19 PM  
My love for you,
rivals Drew's love for booze.
Granted Drew is a tool,
since Heineken he consumes.

Fine Maker's Mark,
is decent for a bourbon.
Still to properly run Fark,
he should get something less urban.

Since this site must make money,
hand over fistful.
He could stop being so stingy,
and get Pappy Van Winkle.
 
2014-02-14 12:32:27 PM  
Roses are red
Violets are purple
Let me put it
In your urkel.
 
2014-02-14 12:32:31 PM  
Dear <insert target of one's affection here>
This is my gun
I love you
why are you running?
*pew pew pew*
 
2014-02-14 12:32:53 PM  
Roses are red
Thank you for breaking my heart and leaving me for that loser who still lives with his mom
I hope the sores on your lip never go away
I've never been much for poetry
 
2014-02-14 12:33:37 PM  
Oh syphilis, oh syphilis
Why will you not rest?
My mind is a shadow
There are sores on my chest,

I met you in Spring,
When the flowers bloom,
You said you were clean
We went to your room,

Twas 19 odd 6,
The year we met,
Unfortunate for me, penicillin
Was not invented yet.
 
2014-02-14 12:34:27 PM  
My style is impetuous,
my defense is impregnable.
I'm just ferocious,
I want to eat your children.
 
2014-02-14 12:34:28 PM  

beverly8: SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal

banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.


Banal rhymes with wall and tall

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and lick my left ball
 
2014-02-14 12:36:22 PM  
Being with you
Makes my heartstrings go twitch.
But now you've given me
This strange crotchital itch.
 
2014-02-14 12:36:23 PM  
I saw you out across the way
your hair done just so
I'd never seen a gal so fair
so I jerked off in the snow.
 
2014-02-14 12:37:28 PM  
We met be the moonlight,
as I was taking a swim.
You laughed ever so gently,
DAMNIT, THERE WAS SHRINKAGE!
 
2014-02-14 12:37:37 PM  
Roses are red
Violets are Blue
It's dark in this cave.
You've been killed by a grue.
 
2014-02-14 12:38:29 PM  
Penis, penis in your snatch
Baby you are quite a catch
Your juices make my dick grow tall
For Valentines lets try anal
 
2014-02-14 12:42:25 PM  
 
2014-02-14 12:43:14 PM  
Valentine's is all about love
Tonight, take off the glove
 
2014-02-14 12:43:52 PM  
I'd love to stick it in your deal
if you will allow it
but if not I'll buy a doll
and cry your name while I plow it.
 
2014-02-14 12:44:24 PM  
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I don't care that we're cousins,
Let's get drunk and screw.
 
2014-02-14 12:44:50 PM  
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Just like fine wine
you are old
 
2014-02-14 12:44:58 PM  

Langston: beverly8: SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal

banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.

Banal rhymes with wall and tall

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and lick my left ball


damnit, that's what I get for having only read the word.

I just pronounce shiat,
as I see fit
then someone catches me
and reveals me for a twit.
 
2014-02-14 12:45:33 PM  
She offered her honor,
he honored her offer,
and then all night long,
he was on her and off her.
 
2014-02-14 12:45:38 PM  
Violets are blue
most roses are pink
This Valentine's Day
I'm fisting your stink
 
2014-02-14 12:45:38 PM  
Roses are red
You're a dumb biatch
Your prose is worse than
Hemorrhoid itch
 
2014-02-14 12:46:58 PM  
Roses are red,
My cock is hard,
Now drop those panties,
You big tub of lard.
 
2014-02-14 12:47:12 PM  
Roses are Red
And they are smelly
Can I get some ass?
I got KY Jelly.
 
2014-02-14 12:47:58 PM  
Roses are red
genocide is terrible
but forget all of that
let's declaw this gerbil
 
2014-02-14 12:48:35 PM  
Roses are Red
Your crimes are heinous
Tonight on your bed
It's going in your anus

For of this one deed
makes you squirm about
I give you my seed
All up in your snout

All this because
of one wonderful drug
with chloroform
Cloth, and a backwards hug

Locked in the trunk
To show all my love
Off the cliff you go
With a little shove

She died out of love
Was all they could say
Little did they know
I was actually gay.

Wait...

Am I doing this wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2014-02-14 12:48:55 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Being with you
Makes my heartstrings go twitch.
But now you've given me
This strange crotchital itch.


lulz
 
2014-02-14 12:50:24 PM  
Roses are red.
Sorry I finished early.
 
2014-02-14 12:50:31 PM  
We adventure together
we've traversed the poles
but tonight Valentine
let's explore some holes
 
2014-02-14 12:53:18 PM  
Unarmored I go
into your deep dungeon
prepared to retreat
so we don't have childre...
oops, skeet skeet skeet
 
2014-02-14 12:53:58 PM  

Tziva: Sir Cumference the Flatulent:

NOW ONE IN GERMAN


Ich habe getroffen
Ein Mädchen, die Uschi
Ich möchte gern reinstecken
Mein Schwanz in ihre Muschi.

(I'm better in English)
 
2014-02-14 12:54:45 PM  
Roses are lovely
And violets fantastic
I were you were real
And not made out of plastic
 
2014-02-14 12:54:59 PM  
Roses are red,
Carnations are pinker
I can fit three fingers
right in your sphyncter
 
2014-02-14 12:55:48 PM  

TheSwizz: Hey I just farked you
And this is crazy
But there's the kitchen
So sandwich maybe?


Omg I think we have a winner,
Buy this guy a chicken dinner,
not from Chikfila, that'd be gay
Kfc's colonel will show you the way
Finger lickin' good had nothing to do with the chicken
Mrs Sanders enjoyed a good dickin'
 
2014-02-14 12:56:21 PM  
Roses are red
Stinkweed smells bad
Kinda like
your maxi pad
 
2014-02-14 01:00:23 PM  
I'm a sucker for poetry
it makes me feel like such a twit
I smile and laugh and dance around
and grow chubby reading it

Valentines day and valentines night
and valentines morning after
I think I will I know I might
have to get a mop
 
2014-02-14 01:02:36 PM  
Not exactly a Love poem, but here is a somewhat relevant haiku:

I see meat curtains
A damp, smelly camel toe
Big girl in spandex
 
2014-02-14 01:05:51 PM  
She wore a sexy outfit
you wore nothing at all
and in the night you traded
I have pictures of it all
 
2014-02-14 01:07:16 PM  

TheSwizz: Hey I just farked you
And this is crazy
But there's the kitchen
So sandwich maybe?


*snerk*

You are gifted!
 
2014-02-14 01:08:13 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Tziva: NOW ONE IN GERMAN

Ich habe getroffen
Ein Mädchen, die Uschi
Ich möchte gern reinstecken
Mein Schwanz in ihre Muschi.

(I'm better in English)



I have no idea what it says, so I love it.
 
2014-02-14 01:08:59 PM  
There once was a man from Dover
His wife she liked to get bent over
He'd hide in the closet
cause he like to watch it
as she was bent over and over and over
 
2014-02-14 01:11:05 PM  
Roses are red,
And so are your drawers,
So flip over baby,
Or I'll go find a whore!
 
2014-02-14 01:11:57 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 01:12:23 PM  

beverly8: Langston: beverly8: SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal

banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.

Banal rhymes with wall and tall

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and lick my left ball

damnit, that's what I get for having only read the word.

I just pronounce shiat,
as I see fit
then someone catches me
and reveals me for a twit.


Don't feel too bad, i read it that way too, now what were you saying about plowing some poo?
 
2014-02-14 01:13:29 PM  
There once was an old man from Wooster
Who said to his wife as he goosed her
It used to be grand
But now look at my hand
You're not wiping as clean as you used ter.
 
2014-02-14 01:14:54 PM  
Your smile makes me crazy,
your eyes send me to a tizzy,
your rack is amazing,
and your butt tickles my fancy.
 
2014-02-14 01:18:07 PM  
My young friends let me give you advice
If you want to stay good with your wife
delete browser histories
 and keep it a mystery
what your each watching
when she's out at night
 
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